Clonely You (Sunrise Cantina #2)

Chapter 4

CHAPTER

FOUR

MICHAELA

What am I even doing? I stare at myself in the mirror, even as I smooth my hands over my nicest outfit and eye my hair. I’ve swept it up in a clip so it will show off my neck, because it looks graceful with the asymmetrical neckline of my sundress. I’ve got a pretty scarf jauntily tied loosely at my waist to add contrast, and the entire look is both casual and slightly seductive.

Which is why I’m wondering if it’s wise. I’m not going to make out with the guy. I’m not interested in him romantically. The only reason I’m going out with him is because I could be in a lot of trouble if the custodians—this planet’s version of law enforcement—find out I held him captive. Aithar wants a date, so I’ll give him a date. And if it gets me information about a bounty hunter I can talk to in order to find Rafaela, so much the better.

There’s no reason to be nervous. So why is my stomach fluttering?

I pull a curling strand of hair loose at my temple and wind it around my finger to get it just so. Another curl freed and it softens the look even more. I know I look good. Even without makeup and jewelry, I clean up nice. Not that I think my date will care much. I suspect if I showed up in milking overalls, he’d still be delighted. He’s a bit of an eager puppy in that sense.

Guilt twinges again.

I’m using him. I’m deliberately prettying myself up to use a guy that seems wide-eyed and innocent and sweet. There’s a wrongness to it that I can’t quite shake, but what are my options? I wasn’t happy with the thought of torturing, either. I’m equally nervous because I’m going into town…and lingering. I’m going to be meeting Aithar’s friends. More aliens.

I’m not sure how I feel about that.

I’ve been on this planet for almost two years now and I’m still uneasy. I don’t go into town to make friends. I don’t hang out with the other women here. I tend to my farm, I keep my head down, and above all else, I don’t get noticed. I don’t want to be noticed. I want to blend in with the scenery. I want to be anonymous because that’s safest. There’s no point in getting attached because something is bound to change up and I’ll be left scrambling again. The hole in my heart left by Earth and all we’d been stolen from was occupied by my sister Rafaela, because we’d been taken together. All of my focus turned to my sister. When she was taken from me…well, my heart’s nothing but hollow holes now. I work hard, saving the alien credits I’m paid with, because if I can buy Rafaela’s freedom, I want to make sure I have the funds. Until then, I don’t need anyone or anything.

Aithar says he’s not the man that took Rafaela away…he says he’s a clone. I believe him. There’s something too innocent and earnest about him. He also says that his friends are clones. What if one of them is the man I’m looking for? Am I prepared to act? I head to the kitchen and tuck a knife into one boot, then the other. I look for other things I can stash as weapons, and I’m still rummaging through my cutlery when the doorbell chimes.

Shit. Is it time already? I was going to scrub the tiles in the bathroom, just in case there was a hint of dirt. Never mind that I’ve scrubbed them twice already today. Cleaning makes me feel better.

I wonder if it’s too late to change my mind. I wonder if he’d notice if I crawled out the window and went and hid in the barn.

Probably.

Nervous, I pull my hair down from the elegant twist and shake it out, letting my curls run riotous and free. I take off the sexy belt that draws attention to my nipped-in waist. Better that I don’t look too attractive, just in case I run into slavers anyhow.

I brace myself, then open the door to the house and greet Aithar with a barked out, “Hello.”

He jerks backward in surprise, his eyes wide.

For a moment, I think I’ve startled him with my sour greeting. But then his gaze travels over my body and back up to my face, and his hand curls into a fist over his heart. “I had forgotten.”

“Forgotten what?”

“How you stun me with your beauty.” He looks me over again and his hand goes to his mouth. He rubs it, and then his expression turns uncertain. “Are you sure you wish to go out with me?”

“I thought you wanted to go out with me .”

“I do, but I am not worthy of you.” The expression on his face is plainly adoring, which weirds me out a little.

I roll my eyes at that. “How about you let me decide, hm? And besides, it was your idea. We don’t have to go out.”

“But you wanted to meet my friends, yes?”

Did I? The only one I’m really interested in meeting is the bounty hunter. But I need to keep him happy, because I need that contact…and I need him to not rat me out. I shift on my feet. “I’m just…nervous.”

Aithar relaxes. “I assure you, my friends are pleasant and will mean you no harm. If you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, we will leave immediately. You are my priority.”

Over his friends? Doubtful. But there’s a sincerity in Aithar’s face that makes me trust him. The more I look at him, the more he’s so different from the bastard I remember. That man had hard, narrow eyes that seemed dark as coals. Everything about him was hard and mean. Aithar isn’t like that. His eyes are wide and guileless, and unless he’s the best actor I’ve ever met, there’s no faking his nervous enthusiasm for our date. “It’s fine. I’ll relax eventually. What’s the plan?”

He straightens and clasps his hands behind his back, in what might be an almost military pose. “I will escort you into town. We will proceed to the cantina, which is currently under construction. I thought it might be a more comfortable spot for you to visit and get to know my friends instead of heading to our ship with us.”

“Cantina. Okay. That sounds fine.”

He smiles broadly. “You will be able to see how much we a’ani resemble each other, yet we are all very different people. I think you will like them, and I would like for you to have more friends for a support system.”

That’s a little presumptuous of him. I can feel myself stiffening, my expression growing hard. “I don’t need friends.”

“Everyone needs friends.” He smiles sweetly at me, his eyes guileless.

What can I say to that? He seems to genuinely mean what he says, and I can tell there’ll be no changing his mind. I cross my arms over my chest, determined to change the subject. “We’re hanging out with your friends? This doesn’t sound like a very romantic date.”

Aithar goes still, his eyes widening a fraction. “Did…you wish it to be? Romantic?”

Oh. Was he deliberate in choosing a date that would make me comfortable instead of making it romantic? I guess I was expecting him to be pushy about wanting to get into my bed given that he’d immediately demanded a date. Him being thoughtful about it is…unexpected. For the first time, I realize that he’s wearing nice clothes. It’s a uniform, sure, but the pleats are crisp and the fabric looks new. His head seems to be newly shaven and he smells like soap. Did he get dressed up for me?

Because he wanted this to be romantic after all?

“I just…I thought…” I blow out a breath. “I honestly don’t know what I thought.”

“It can be whatever you wish it to be.” His smile grows bashful. “I would not presume that you love me already.”

“I would hope not,” I manage, a laugh bubbling up. “This is our first date.”

Aithar doesn’t laugh with me, but gives me another little smile.

“We are such big fans of your butter,” a woman with multiple facial piercings and a short black mohawk says to me. She shakes my hand vigorously, enthusiasm all over her face. “We want as much of it as we can possibly purchase. I think people at the cantina will love it, but if there’s not enough for them, I want enough for me.”

I manage a smile, trying to extricate my hand from hers. “Thank you. I’m not sure how much butter I can provide. My dairy is small?—”

“Whatever you’ve got, I want it,” she reassures me, still pumping my hand.

Aithar smoothly steps in, putting his hand over our joined ones. “Ruthie, Michaela has not discussed supplying the cantina. We are here on a date. You can speak butter another time.”

“Oh, of course. Right. A date.” She winks exaggeratedly. “I’m Ruthie, like he said. So you’re in love with Aithar, huh?”

She says the words like she doesn’t believe something about our date. Like we’re faking.

“It’s a first date.”

“Well, he’s already in love?—”

Aithar detangles our hands and steps between us, breaking eye contact. “Michaela, how about I introduce you to Dopekh instead?” He puts a hand on my arm and gently steers me away from Ruthie. Leading me across the room, he leans in close. “I apologize. I have told them all that this is not a romantic date, but they do not seem to believe me.”

I get it. Most dates are of a romantic sort, after all. Still, their reactions are a little odd. “Why wouldn’t they believe you?”

“I think they do not feel any female would be interested in me so quickly. I am not…what did Lady Ruth call it…a ball-busting alpha.”

Oh. I decide I’m not a huge fan of this Lady Ruth person. “Not everyone wants a ball-busting alpha.”

He leans in even closer, his lips brushing against my ear. “I am glad, because I am not entirely sure what that is.”

I smother a giggle. I will say one thing about Aithar. He’s made me laugh and I feel as if I haven’t laughed in years. Is it wrong to want to smile when I’m around him? I pat his arm. “You’re a good guy. That’s what’s important.”

“What’s important is that you think so,” he replies, solemn. “Your perspective is the most vital.”

I say nothing to that, but my skin prickles with awareness of his nearness. This is the closest I’ve been to anyone in years, and…I don’t hate it. Aithar is comfortable to be around. He’s tall and his shoulders are broad, but he’s not a wall of muscle like some of these aliens I’ve seen walking around in Port. He’s leaner, like a streamlined swimmer, and even if his features remind me of the hated guy that stole Rafaela, his bright, open eyes make me comfortable right away. I could absolutely see dating someone like him if we’d met under different circumstances…or if I was interested in dating at all.

I don’t know why Ruthie or this Lady Ruth person were so weird about it.

“Ah, here is Ruth-Ann,” Aithar mentions, and steers me across the room…to meet the same woman I had just talked to.

I blink in surprise as I stare at the features of this new woman. She looks just like Ruthie but has no piercings. Instead of a short mohawk, her hair is silky and flat, a black bob that swings above her shoulders. She’s a human of Asian descent, but I could swear that she’s the same age and height of the other woman. She holds a datapad tucked under her arm, and her clothes are plain but well-kept. I glance over my shoulder at Ruthie and note the similar names. “Is everyone here a clone?”

“What?” Aithar blurts out, shooting a look at the new woman. “I did not say that!”

I gesture at Ruthie, across the room. “But?—”

“Not a clone,” the new woman says smoothly and holds her hand out. “Triplets. I’m Ruth-Ann. Ruth and Ruthie are my sisters.”

“Oh. Wow. Okay.” I shake her hand, feeling awkward. “Sorry I called you a clone.”

“It’s not an insult. A triplet is just a clone in the womb, right?” A little smile curves her mouth, her features otherwise serious, and I see a slight difference now. Ruthie was a more nervous sort, a little more high-strung. This woman is cool and calm, unruffled. “But I can see how the names would be confusing.”

“Aithar mentioned his friends were clones,” I say, glancing at him. “I assumed.”

“I said the a’ani were clones,” he quickly corrects. “It is just a marvelous coincidence that Ruth-Ann and Ruthie and Ruth are human triplets.”

“That’s definitely quite the coincidence,” I murmur. All with variations of the same name. But I’m not about to pry. Not my circus, not my zebras, as my mama used to say. “It’s nice to meet you, Ruth-Ann. Are you staying here on Risda with the other human refugees?”

“I haven’t decided.” She tucks her hair behind her ear and shrugs. “I told Zaemen and Erzah that I’d help with the cantina, and this seems as safe a place to settle as anywhere.”

“I’m told it’s safe,” I agree. “And it’s been quiet since I came here. I just…”

“Don’t entirely believe it?” Ruth-Ann gives me an understanding look. “It takes a while for the anxiety to fade away. For you to feel safe. I get it.”

“I might not feel safe until my sister’s brought here. You’re lucky that you have yours at your side.” Hot grief threatens to swamp me, and I suddenly want to run out of the room and close myself back in at my dairy. Drown myself in work and not think about anything. If I’m too tired to think, I’m too tired to fret over Rafaela’s fate.

A hand touches my shoulder and gently rubs my back. Aithar. “Can I get you a drink, Michaela? Or a snack?”

It’s a good distraction at the perfect time. I manage a small smile for him. “I’m fine, thank you.”

“You and Aithar, huh?” Ruth-Ann glances between us. “You’ll forgive us if we all seem skeptical.”

I freeze up. Are they skeptical because they know why I’m going out with him? Because I felt like I had to? I feign ignorance, though. “Oh?”

Ruth-Ann gives another one of those faint smiles, and I get the impression of someone tightly self-contained but doing their best to hide it. “It seems fast. He falls in love easily.”

“I have a lot of love waiting to be given,” Aithar says, voice cheerful, and he doesn’t seem upset by Ruth-Ann’s comment. It bothers me, though, and I’m not sure why. It’s not a slam on me, but it feels like a strange comment for a friend to be making. Then again, maybe it’s because they’re friends that she feels she can comment on the speed of his relationship.

“I see.”

Aithar touches my elbow. “Come and meet Dopekh. He is my brother-clone from the same place.”

We head over to a table, where a big, broad-shouldered alien is working with a blowtorch on some metal. He glances up as we approach and flips up the guard over his face, beaming at us. “You have brought a friend, Aithar!”

I freeze in place, because this man reminds me of my hated enemy. He’s broader than Aithar, and his gaze isn’t nearly as friendly, his features similar enough that I feel like I’m looking at Aithar’s brother…or the man I’ve been dreaming of confronting for years. His hair is a bit longer and he looks tougher overall. Tense, I glance down at his hands.

No tattoos. His ink stops at his wrists. And while it’s easy to get tattoos removed, something tells me that I don’t have to panic about this man. He’s who Aithar says he is. I breathe a sigh of relief.

Aithar squeezes my shoulder as if to say “See? All is well.”

“Hi, I’m Michaela,” I say, and hold my hand out. “Aithar’s friend.”

He holds his hand out, too, and instead of shaking my hand, clasps it in both of his and pumps it vigorously. It’s clear he has no idea how to shake a hand, which is kinda cute. “I am pleased to meet you, Michaela. My name is Dopekh. You are Aithar’s new love?”

I glance over at Aithar, and he flinches, just a little. “Boy, everyone sure likes to bring that up.”

“We are just teasing Aithar,” Dopekh replies, grinning at Aithar as if sharing a joke. “Since we have arrived on this planet, he has fallen in love six times in quick succession.”

“It’s not love because it’s not returned,” Aithar says, but his voice has lost some of its confidence. “There’s a difference. You know that.”

“I do.” For a moment, Dopekh looks miserable.

Before he can speak, another alien man approaches and slings an arm around Dopekh’s neck, heedless of the fact that the other man is holding a blowtorch. He’s got curling horns and gray skin and a thick, solid build and looks nothing like the vivid red a’ani. He grins at the two of us. “Look what we have here! Don’t tell me you’ve fallen for yet another colonist, Aithar? How many is that this month?”

“Hello, Salvotor,” Aithar says, and all the enthusiasm for this day seems to have leached from his tone.

The other guy has a goofy grin on his face and he leans in, eyeing the two of us.

He opens his mouth to speak again, but I’ve had about enough. It’s one thing for one person to rib Aithar about bringing a date. It’s another for the entire room of his “friends” to laugh at him. I put my hand up and silence this Salvotor before he can say anything else. “Excuse me, but what’s wrong with falling in love fast? Do you think I’m not deserving for someone to fall in love with me?”

“I—well—” Salvotor blusters, surprised.

“It’s a thing amongst humans, you know. Love at first sight. Look it up.” And I stare him down, daring him to say anything else.

Salvotor’s gaze flicks between the two of us, and Dopekh nudges him. “Sorry,” he says. “Didn’t mean to insult. Of course you’re worthy of having someone fall for you.”

“Then the same should be for Aithar.” I put my arm around Aithar’s waist and smile up at him. A little pretending can’t hurt. “Right, sweetie?”

The look of utter devotion and awe he gives me could melt all the butter in the land.

After painfully awkward introductions, some of the newly constructed tables are shoved together and we sit on benches while Ruthie and her boyfriend Kazex (another a’ani, but he looks less like a clone of Aithar and more like a closely related cousin) serve up fresh noodles with vegetables. They talk easily amongst themselves, trying to lure me into the conversation, but I keep my answers short. I’d rather listen in than participate. Maybe with time, I’ll be friendlier, but for now, I still can’t quite forgive all the teasing Aithar endured, even if it was sibling-like.

Strange how I’m suddenly championing the guy. Didn’t I set out today to use him to get the information on bounty hunters so I can find Rafaela? But I don’t bring any of it up. If I do, it’ll be obvious that I’m using him and I’m not interested in him romantically, and that doesn’t feel fair to Aithar. He’s taken enough punches today. I sit next to him and eat, listening to the chatter. It’s clear that Ruthie and Kazex are deeply in love, Dopekh watches Salvotor when he thinks Salvotor isn’t looking, and Ruth-Ann isn’t interested in anyone at the table. The men don’t even flirt with her, and I’m not sure if it’s because she’s like a sister to them or if there’s something else going on.

It’s a pleasant enough dinner, but it’s also a lot to take in after years of self-imposed solitude. Everyone bickers like siblings and teases one another, and by the time the last noodles are scraped from the pot, I’m more than ready to go home. I don’t say anything because I don’t want to give them fodder to tease Aithar again, however well meant.

Eventually he turns to me, his gaze bright. “Before we go, you had something you wanted to ask my friends?”

It’s the opening I’ve been waiting for. I should grab it. Blurt out everything I can about Rafaela and how I need a bounty hunter. How I’ve been saving my credits and waiting for this day. But…it can wait another day, surely. There’s no need for me to step on Aithar to get what I want. I smile politely. “What flavors of butter were you guys thinking of?”

Ruthie all but squeals with delight, and suddenly she and Ruth-Ann are practically falling all over each other with suggestions. We talk about it and I promise to try a few herbed butters and deliver them in a few days. Aithar watches me curiously, clearly waiting for me to say more.

I yawn instead. “Gosh, it’s been such a long day. I must get up early to tend to my cattle. Aithar, sweetie, I hate to cut things short, but do you mind if we head out?”

“Not at all!” He rushes to get up from the table, offering me his hand to help me to my feet. “Let us take the sled back. It’s too far to walk.”

“Of course. Thank you.” I turn to the others. “It was lovely to meet you all. I’ll see you again soon.”

Salvotor’s gaze flicks between me and Aithar, and he looks ready to tease, but Ruthie reaches out and taps him on the back of the head with her hand, distracting him.

Just like siblings. I decide I like Ruthie a little more after that.

Aithar escorts me to an air-sled parked in front of the cantina. We’d walked here from my farm because the sun was high and the day was beautiful, but now it’s growing dark. The streets are deserted. A few lights illuminate walking paths, but there are no humans drifting about after dark and enjoying the sights. We’re changed people, those of us that live here, and the dark is no longer safe.

Once I’m settled in the air-sled, Aithar gets in on the driver’s side. He doesn’t start the vehicle, but instead turns to me and gives me a thoughtful glance. “You didn’t bring up bounty hunters.”

“No, I didn’t. I’m still interested, mind you, but it didn’t feel like the right time.”

Aithar gives me a curious look. “Why not?”

I try to phrase things carefully, because I know they’re his friends. He’s close to them, and I’m a stranger. “If I showed up immediately and the only thing I was interested in was getting the name of a bounty hunter, that would seem like I was betraying you. That I was using you. It would be obvious and I didn’t want to give them something else to tease you about.”

His expression grows soft. “You were defending me?”

“I mean…” If he wants to see it that way, I guess? I shrug, feeling a little uncomfortable. “It seemed like the right thing to do.”

“It is the second time you have defended me on this day, then. My jaw dropped when you told Salvotor that you were worthy of me being in love with you instantly. You were magnificent .”

His adoring tone makes me want to squirm a little. “You’re praising me too much. Someone should have shut him up and I did.”

“Salvotor runs his mouth. He means no harm by it. He is only thoughtless around strangers. If he knew it harmed me, he would feel terrible.” Aithar relaxes in the seat of the air-sled and focuses his attention on piloting it. It lifts into the air easily, far smoother than when I use my sled, and soon enough, we’re zooming off through the darkening skies.

It’s a short hop to my farm, but even so, the silence in the vehicle feels like it needs to be filled. I speak up. “Your friends tease you a lot.”

“We all tease like siblings,” he agrees. “When Ruthie and Kazex were first together, the teasing for them was merciless. Kaz had been in love with her for quite some time, and it was our way of showing our joy that they were a couple. Salvotor is teased because he is bad at being with people, but he was alone for much of his early life. We tease him to help him learn when he is acting inappropriately. And Dopekh is teased because, like me, he falls in love easily, and he always gets hurt by it. I suppose we are reminding him that we care for him, in a way.”

I guess I get it, but I’ve been alone on my farm for a long time, too. Maybe like Salvotor, I don’t know how to read the room. “So you and Dopekh both fall in love easily?”

He nods, his gaze on the skies, and yet I still get the impression that Aithar’s very aware of me and my reactions. “We a’ani are kept on suppressants when we are enslaved. Our emotions are deadened and our cocks are useless. It is to keep us obedient, and because we are used to it, we do not realize it is a bad thing. When Lord Straik freed us, he stopped the suppressants, and we felt… everything . It was overwhelming, but it was also wonderful. I would never go back to being numb like I was before. I do not mind strong emotions. I enjoy them, even if I get my heart broken.”

I mull this. In a strange way, it makes sense. If you go through life numb and then start feeling things when you see a pretty girl—or man—of course you’d think of it as love. It must feel exhilarating each time. No wonder he and Dopekh get addicted to it. “So you fall in love, and you get your heart broken, over and over. Does that mean I’m not special?”

The words come out teasing, and I surprise myself by saying it. It’s…flirty.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Aithar’s eyes widen and his gaze flicks to me, even as he circles over my painted barn, then eases the sled down onto my front yard. He’s silent until it’s safely landed and the humming, quiet engine shuts off. Then he turns and looks at me, his expression serious and his gaze focused. “You misunderstand me, Michaela. I make my heart vulnerable each time I fall in love, but it is not truly love. My heart may be offered, but unless it is taken, it means nothing. We a’ani are cloned because among all things, we are an incredibly loyal race of people. When we love, we love for life. I cannot truly be in love unless I am loved back.”

Don’t say it. Don’t say it.

Don’t say it, Michaela. Don’t.

“What if I loved you back?”

Shit. Why can I not resist flirting with this man?

Aithar’s dark eyes are the warmest, softest things I’ve ever seen, and his adoring gaze is like being wrapped in a fuzzy blanket. “I would show you my devotion every day. I would worship your body with everything I am.”

Oh…wow. He’s better at flirting than I am because he’s so damn fervent. Looking at him, I have no doubt that he would back up his claims. “Um, that’s quite a statement.”

“It is the truth.”

“I don’t doubt you.”

A small smile tugs at his mouth. “But I need to be loved in return. My heart must be safe with my mate before I can truly be happy.”

“Oh. Sure.” I tuck a messy curl behind my ear, because god, what do I say to that? “Makes sense.”

He studies my face intently, silent.

Growing nervous at the focus of his attention, I blurt out, “I’m not looking for a relationship.”

Aithar’s warm expression falls, just a little. Just enough for me to realize I’ve disappointed him. I’m flattered that he’s so focused on me, but I don’t think I’m ready. “Of course not. Today was simply to introduce you to my friends and so I could spend time with you. I hope you will feel bold enough next time we visit the cantina to ask about your sister.”

I nod. “I’ll come back in like…a day or two. I don’t want to make it seem super obvious.”

“Of course not.”

We both sit in the vehicle, silent. I don’t get out yet, because it doesn’t feel as if our conversation is done. There’s more that needs to be said. It practically hangs in the air between us.

“I had a wonderful time,” Aithar blurts out, breaking the quiet.

That makes me smile. “You did? We didn’t do anything much.”

“I got to spend time in your presence. That makes it a wonderful day.” There’s such sincerity on his face that I don’t doubt him. To him, being with me for dinner made it great.

I don’t know how to process that. I’ve dated guys in the past where they made it seem like if I asked for anything, I was high maintenance. If I made it clear that I wasn’t putting out, I was the problem. Men like to think that if they feed you, they get time between your thighs. It’s strange to have Aithar be so happy to have the most innocent, benign dinner with me.

He’s too good to be true. “Are you always like this?”

The alien man’s smile turns reluctant, almost crestfallen. “I am afraid so. I have said too much?”

I laugh. “I don’t understand how someone as devoted as you can’t find a woman.”

His eyes widen, as if he’s surprised at my comment. “I am a’ani.”

“So? You’re a nice guy. You’re handsome and polite and very sweet. I know the ladies here have been through some shit—we all have—but I’ve also seen a lot of them have married. Why not you?”

He shakes his head. “A’ani are not prized. Not by anyone.”

“Then they’re all insane.” I snort. Impulsively, I add, “Since it was a date, you can kiss me.”

I’ve shocked him. It’s clear from the way he stiffens, his eyes going wide, that he didn’t expect that. Heck, I didn’t expect that to come from me, either. It’s not that I’m dying of lust for him. I hate that someone as thoughtful and kind and obviously wanting love can’t find it. I can’t be that person for him, but maybe I can rebuild his confidence a little.

“I mean it,” I say when he remains silent. “You can go home and rub it in everyone’s face that you kissed the hell out of me. That it was a real date.”

“A real date. Yes.” His ears flick, and I realize for the first time that they’re pointed, ever so slightly, like an elf’s ears. That’s cute and I find myself drawn to him even more. “Are you certain?”

“I am.” I indicate he should lean forward. “Have you ever kissed before?”

“Never.” He moves close, his nose nearly brushing mine, and he smells good. Like soap and fabric and male skin. It’s a combination I haven’t experienced in a while. Since I last dated, actually. It makes me want to grab him by the collar of his uniform and bury my face against his neck, just to breathe in the unique scent of a warm, appealing guy.

“Then I’ll be gentle with you,” I tell him, and slant my lips over his.

It doesn’t start out as a great kiss. I can feel Aithar stiffen against me, like a startled animal. His mouth is firm under mine, and I realize he doesn’t know what to do.

“Relax,” I whisper. “Go with what feels natural.”

He makes a hungry sound and his hand goes to my hair, holding the back of my head. He hesitates, then grasps me firmly, his lips parting when I kiss him gently. It takes a few kisses before he relaxes enough to enjoy himself, and his mouth is open under mine, ravenous. I cede control of the kiss as he gains confidence, and he devours me, his lips dragging over mine repeatedly as he kisses the absolute hell out of me. Then we add tongue, and he makes another startled sound before diving in with gusto. I’ve never been kissed so hard or so thoroughly, and by the time we pull apart, I’m panting and dazed. My lips throb and heat pulses all through my body.

God, am I crazy in that I want to do that again? Right away?

Aithar nips my lower lip and pulls back, his mouth flushed, and he’s never looked sexier—or more like just Aithar—in this moment. “You are incredible.”

I lick my lips, tasting him as I straighten. I think about what he said yesterday, how he was disappointed that I didn’t want to use him for sex. “I like kissing you.”

“I love kissing you, too.” His pupils are blown, his eyes darker than I’ve ever seen them, and that breathless sound he makes sends curls of heat through my body.

“I don’t want a relationship, and that hasn’t changed…but I miss kissing and making out. Want to practice with me for a while?”

He groans. “More than anything. When?”

“Tomorrow night.” Provided I don’t lose my nerve or change my mind in the light of day.

The expression on his face is resolute, as if I’ve given him an earth-shattering task. “I’ll be here at dusk. You can count on me.”