Clusterpuck (Vegas Crush #9)

29. Counseling Session

29 /

counseling session

Lila

I’m thankful to be back at work, focused on a budget report that requires all cylinders to be firing at the same time. Having something to work on keeps me focused, makes me feel like I’m being useful. It keeps my body from exploding from anxiety.

I think I’ve been looking at spreadsheets for two hours straight when Laura comes out of her office. She looks resplendent in a bright yellow dress and dramatic, wooden jewelry. How this woman isn’t a supermodel is beyond me.

“How’s it looking?”

“Almost done,” I say. “Give me fifteen minutes to wrap up and we can review?”

“Sounds good.” She starts to walk away but then turns back. “It’s good to have you back in the office. I’m glad Max is doing much better.”

“Thanks. Is that because there’s no one to do the boring work when I’m not here?”

She grins. “No, actually, I genuinely enjoy your presence and appreciate your value on our team. Also, that diamond ring is totally blinding me. Where’d you get that?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I say, focusing back on the budget report with a frown. “Go away. I have work to do.”

“Oh, hell no. We’re totally talking about it now.”

“I said I needed to finish this up. Do you want a counseling session or a completed report?”

“Counseling session. In my office. Now.”

I sigh and she tells me not to be so dramatic, holding out a hand to help me up, then pulling me into her office. She shuts the door and points at the black leather couch.

“Spit it out, girl.”

“It’s, uh…it’s a long story.”

Laura raises an eyebrow. “I’ve got time.”

How to even begin. “I’m pregnant.”

To say Laura looks shocked would be an understatement. She sits back and lets out a low whistle. “Well, I’ll say the obvious. You’re too damn young to be having a baby.”

“Yes, that’s true. And I didn’t really want any babies, maybe ever, but certainly not at twenty-three. But there was a guy and a snowstorm and now, there is a baby, so here we are.”

“A guy? How come I’ve never, ever heard you even talk about a single guy?” Her eyes narrow, then go wide. “Oh my God. It’s Tripp Blackburn’s. Isn’t it?”

“How on earth?” I’m dumbfounded she figured it out so fast.

“Girl, I saw how you looked at him at that pool party. How he looked at you . I’m surprised you didn’t get pregnant just from all that eye-fucking.”

A shocked noise comes from the back of my throat.

“Oh, don’t look so scandalized. Whatever. People have sex, Lila. Though, birth control is helpful if one does not want to end up pregnant at twenty-three.”

“Yes, it was stupid. This whole thing is stupid. And Max found out. He asked us to get married because a good Catholic can’t be having babies out of wedlock.”

“And not having it isn’t an option.”

“Right. Not now that he knows.”

“It’s your body, though.”

“It is. But here I am, married to a man who could not be a worse match for me, preparing to have a baby I didn’t plan on having until years from now. It’s a whole clusterfuck, Laura.” I’m crying now, and she scoots over and puts her arm around my shoulders.

My friend lets me cry and cry and it’s not until I finally calm down that she starts laughing. I look up at her, confused, and she says, “The nonfraternization policy is such a total joke by now. I might as well go on down and have a tussle with Dale in the weight room.”

I laugh, all snotty and gross, and stand to grab a tissue from the box on her desk. After I’ve cleaned myself up, I have to ask, “Wait, do you have a thing for Dale in the weight room?”

“It was a joke, Lila.”

I grab another tissue for my post-cry mop up. “You know, I’ve heard all the stories. Evan and Holly. Georg and Pam. Viktor and Scarlett. Even Grant and Devon. It’s all so romantic, right? Like these people who were meant to be together somehow ended up here in this special place and found each other.” I sigh, the sound of a smitten schoolgirl.

“Well, maybe it will work out with Tripp?”

“No. He’s not meant to be in a box like this. I feel terrible. He only married me because of something Max said when he was totally groggy from surgery. Tripp doesn’t want this.”

“Was getting married your idea, then?”

“No. He asked me. And I did that thing I do where I made a list of pros and cons, and in the end, I set it aside and got swept up in the moment. And for one whole night, it was good. But in the light of day? We’re just too different. It can’t work. We want different things.”

“What do you want?” she asks softly.

“I want to finish here and go to graduate school and then build my career.”

“And what does he want?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think he knows.”

“Then how do you know he doesn’t want you?”

I snort in response.

“Do you care about him?”

“Of course I do. He’s been in my life for, like, forever. He was my first and longest crush. I seduced him that night, and I still find him infuriatingly attractive.”

“Infuriatingly attractive?”

“Like, he’s gorgeous, but he needs to talk less. When he talks, it pisses me off.”

This gets a belly laugh out of Laura. “I prefer my men hot and silent, too, honey.”

“He’s always been kind of solitary, his own man. I think he thought he’d retire and go, like, live in a hut on an isolated island or something. He sure as hell isn’t going to follow me to Ohio and be a stay-at-home dad while I build my career.”

“Did he say that?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“Humph. Well, here’s what I think. I think you’ve gone and made a royal mess out of this situation.”

“Thanks. Very helpful observation,” I say, rolling my eyes.

“But,” she says pointedly, “I also think that things have a way of working out just the way they’re meant to when the time is right.”

“I hope so, but for the life of me, I can’t figure out how. Which kills me, because I am a planner.”

“I know you are,” she says, getting up. “But sometimes you have to follow your heart. Just listen to yourself. You know him. You said yes. That has to be something, right?”

She pulls me into a hug and tells me to get back to work. I wipe away the lingering tears and open her office door, only to find Tripp standing there.

My confusion must be obvious because he leans in and whispers, “You have a doctor’s appointment, remember?”

I did not, in fact, remember. I have my first obstetrics appointment today and I nearly forgot. But Tripp remembered. He looks up, over my shoulder. I presume he’s whispering just to be discreet, which I really appreciate.

“Were you going to go, too?” I ask him.

“I’d like to, yes. If you don’t mind.”

“I…No, it’s fine.”

“Good. I’ve got a car waiting. I thought maybe it would be helpful.”

“It would be. Thank you.”

“The spreadsheet can wait until after lunch,” Laura says.

I turn and give her a hopeful smile. She returns it with a thumbs-up.

Turning back to Tripp, I say, “I told her. She knows. So, you don’t have to, like, whisper.”

“Oh.” He frowns and shoves his hands into his pockets. “So, she knows what a gross old man I am, then.”

“I think everyone knows you’re an old man, man,” Laura sails back at him.

He rolls his eyes, but his lips twitch slightly. “Whatever.”

It occurs to me that he might not want people to know about us. “I’m sorry. I should’ve discussed this with you before we told anyone.”

“It’s okay. I know you two are close. And I’m not embarrassed to be with you, Lila. I’d guess it’s the other way around, which I understand, but I’m not embarrassed.”

This slays me. Absolutely slays me. He remembered my appointment. He got a car. He wants to come. He’s not embarrassed. I grab my bag and follow him out, thinking maybe Laura was right. Maybe things could work out after all.