Cocky Secrets (Cocker Brothers #29)

22. Sage

TWENTY-TWO

Sage

I ’ve run to one of the upstairs bathrooms to clean my face, but nothing can wash the deep violet of this bruise away. “Ouch,” I whisper as I suds it up. A knock at the door turns my head. “Who is it?”

“Soph.”

I reach over, unlock it on my way to grab a towel. “What’s up?”

Sofia Sol saunters in with a purposeful gleam in her grey eyes, and closes the door. She leans against the wall to address me through our mirror’s reflection. “We want to train you.”

I pause the drying of my face. “What?”

“All of us kids,” she explains, still calling us of the next generation ‘kids’ even though some now have their own. “Tonight wasn’t okay.”

“I tried training once before.” Setting down the towel, I meet her gaze in the mirror again. “I’m no good at it.”

“You were too young and flighty-headed.” Soph crosses her arms. “How did it feel to be captured?”

I turn around, rest my butt on the counter, hands grabbing it lightly on either side of me for stability as I think of a subject I’d rather leave behind me. “It’s indescribable how awful it was.”

“What if you knew how to kick their asses?” She tilts her beautiful head. “Do you think they could have captured me as easily?”

“No, but you’re…you.”

“Celia wasn’t as badass as I am, and then she trained to become just as formidable.”

It’s my turn to tilt my head. “ Almost as formidable.”

Sofia Sol grins on an eye-roll. “Fine. I’m still the winner of the kickass bitches.” Lowering her gaze she thoughtfully adds, “Except for my mom. She’s got me beat.”

“I haven’t been on the missions, but I have a feeling it’s a tie.”

“I don’t need it to be one.” Soph straightens up a little, shoves her hands in her jeans front pockets. “I want her to kick ass. Especially since she’s getting older. Do you know how much it inspires me to watch my mother work out there? At her age? To know she was the first female Cipher? The first female Cipher men ran from? To follow in her footsteps...” Soph pulls out one hand in a stop gesture. “I know you’re an artist and you’re more sensitive than I am. Than many of us are. But doesn’t that Harley feel good knowing you’re the one mastering it?”

“Yes,” I admit.

She slides her hand back into the pocket, holding my gaze for a suspenseful beat. “Imagine if you trained with us, and you knew how to take down a guy twice your size by using his own body weight against him? You would never feel helpless again. I believe that if every woman trained in self-defense there would be a lot less crimes against women.”

I chew my lip, thinking about the undeniable logic of that belief. Turning and meeting my own eyes in the mirror, I stare at the woman I’ve become. At the fresh bruise that reminds me how little I’m able to defend myself. “I was a lot younger the first time I tried training.”

“That’s right,” Sofia Sol eggs me on, “And you’re stubborn so you were determined to carve your own way, remember?”

A memory hits me of my teenage years, of my saying with a fervor that I wanted to be a lover not a fighter. “I wouldn’t have minded kicking the shit out of Soot back there.”

“The President of The Spiders,” Soph says, with a look that she tells me she remembers him well from their previous encounter with that club. “You could have done it, too. They don’t train. They just do normal bar-brawl boxing like most bullies. Fists and brute strength with zero technique. Easy to overcome.” She shrugs, adding, “If you know how.”

“It still would have been one against many,” I argue. “Had I known how to fight and they surrounded me like they did.”

“You wouldn’t have been in that position. When was the last time you saw me go anywhere alone?”

Grabbing the toothpaste, I squeeze some onto my toothbrush, run it under water for a second. “Hadn’t thought of that.”

“Now you’re thinking of it.”

I nod, turn off the faucet, “I’m listening,” and start brushing.

“We travel together for a reason. You were on your own because you were sneaking out, but you never have to be alone again. Atlas was the first to say he wants us to train you, but we all jumped on board the second he did. I think you’d be great at this, Sage. And I could tell you it’s because I’ve seen, lately, how much fire you have in you, with how you’ve been fighting to be with Bear, but the truth is, I think there’s a fighter in every woman. I think a lot of women are holding rage in their hearts for how women have been treated over centuries. I think if they learned self-defense they’d own some of that hidden power and would walk with their heads held even higher.”

Rinsing out my mouth, I grab a towel and wipe the corners, looking at Soph through the mirror. “I’m in.”

She grins, frees her hands and I turn for a hug. “Sage,” she whispers in my ear, squeezing me tightly, “I think you’re going to be great.” Pulling back, our gazes are locked. “And since you took away his ability to choose if he wants to a Cipher, remember that you can’t tell Bear about our missions.”

A frown pierces my forehead as I watch her walk out the door.

What.

The.

Fuck.

Suddenly I hear a lot of activity coming from downstairs, and my heart skips a beat as I head out, instantly excited to see Bear, doing my best to shove away what Sofia Sol just said. But the irritation is hard to ignore. Why did she say that to me? How many times do I have to be reminded of what I already know? And I didn’t take away his ability! He’d have to be told the secrets in order to decide for himself, and they don’t want him to know the secrets. Are they that confident he’d become a Cipher if he knew, that his answer would be a resounding YES?

Dad and Mom are talking to Bear in the foyer when I appear, Atlas and Luke standing back and listening. Watching.

“Nice to meet you, Margaret,” Bear says to my mom, shaking her hand with warmth in his smile.

“And these are Sage’s brothers,” Mom smiles in return, pointing to each as she introduces them, “Luke and Atlas. Luke is our eldest.”

“We fought alongside each other tonight,” Bear nods to them with respect. “I caught your names being called out but with all that was going on, I didn’t know which belonged to who.”

Luke says, “You fought well.”

Bear smirks, “Not as well as you. As any of you. That was some movie-stunt-level fighting I saw out there.” He slices his gaze back to Dad. “How’d you all learn to fight like that?”

Dad grunts, “We train.”

“Why?”

Atlas spreads his stance wider, crossing his arms. “Something to do.”

Luke inhales through his nose. “Not much to do out here.”

Mom smiles, “Would you like some coffee?”

Dad grunts, “I thought we were going to bed.”

“I was going home to do the same,” Bear offers as a polite way to decline the even politer coffee-offer. “Just wanted to check in on Sage and make sure she’s okay.” His gaze settles on my bruise. “That looks bad.”

I wink, “Thank you.”

He laughs, “You make it look good.”

Mom holds out her arms to include Dad and my brothers. “Let’s all give Sage and Bear some time alone.”

They start to leave but Dad turns back and thrusts his hand out. Bear shakes it, their expressions somber. “Thank you for coming here. For letting us help the police find her.”

Atlas surprises me by agreeing, “You didn’t have to do that.”

Luke jerks his chin in a brief nod. “You could’ve just let the police force do the work.”

My chest tightens with emotion as I watch my family leave the foyer for their respective bedrooms, a long night over and morning sleep the only way to go, now.

Bear and I come together, alone. He touches the air around my bruise. “I wanted to kill them tonight. Knowing they hurt you.”

“I’m safe now,” I whisper. “Because of you.”

“I could say I wish you hadn’t gone out to find me, but I wanted you to. Nobody could have planned this.”

“A rival club in town? No, it’s not a common thing.”

“Your family, this club, they were incredible.”

I stare at Bear, realizing suddenly why Sofia Sol gave me the extra warning. With this gleam in his eyes, the feelings I have for him, I want to tell him everything. I want no secrets. I’m proud of my family and I want to say how much they help people. Did I take his choice away from him?

But they do it outside of the law.

And he’s the law.

Grabbing onto something to steady my racing mind, I share with him what I can, “They’re going to train me to fight. After tonight, they don’t want me defenseless again.”

Bear searches my eyes. “The thought of you kidnapped, Sage, I can’t explain how angry I was. We searched motels first and came up empty and the more time that passed, the more my imagination tore me up.”

Cupping his face, I whisper, “So you came here first?”

He takes my hands, holding them and kneading them like bread as he recalls what happened. “It went down in two stages. When dispatch got the call from the gas station attendant, I was nearest, found out the low down from him and immediately got the entire station involved. Everyone was called in, some woken up to come on duty. When something like this happens, time is of the essence. Everyone helps. As soon as the police force was galvanized, I raced here while they began the search.” Bear gives me a brief kiss, closing his eyes for a moment. They open again, amber calm after a storm. “Searching the motels alongside your father, your family, it was impressive. Your dad and Jett, they really took charge and I felt like…they’d done this before. The way The Ciphers as an organized unit systematically searched each location?—”

“—They were driven by wanting to find me,” I shrug.

Bear stares into my eyes, searching me until finally, “Yeah. That’s true.”

“There have been other run-ins with The Spiders, remember?”

“Right,” he nods, the extra detail wiping away the remainder of his curiosity. “This wasn’t the first time.”

I kiss him, partly to distract him, but my heart aches for the secret I keep. He returns the kiss until all of the world’s troubles disappear and all that matters is that I’m in his arms, held and safe.

I cannot allow myself to think of anything else. Not right now. Now is a time to celebrate. I pull back and smile up at Bear, “They accept you now.”

“Fighting beside one another tends to bring people closer together.”

“So…there was a silver lining to the darkness we went through.”

With a frown Bear pulls me closer, “You could look at it like that.”

“I thought they never would accept you, so yes, I choose to look at it like that. It would be so easy to lean into the trauma of what I went through. I’d rather reframe it and see the good that has come out of it… us.”

Bear’s smile comes slow. “You’re something else.”

“So are you.”

“I’d like to take you on a date.”

“I’d like to paint you.”

He laughs, “Oh yeah? You gonna show up this time?”

“Maybe I could do it after our date, on the same night, that way you know I’ll show up because I’ll already be with you.”

“Deal.” Bear kisses me, long and unhurried. “Friday night.”

“Perfect.”

He takes my hand and we walk to the door. I open it as he confesses, “I wish you were sleeping with me today.”

Leaning against the open doorframe with morning sunlight streaming in, I murmur, “Not sure how much sleep we’d accomplish.”

Bear grins, gives me a sexy goodbye kiss, and walks down to his patrol car. I watch until he’s gone, Sofia Sol’s words reverberating in my mind.