Cold Spite (Cold Justice: Most Wanted #5)

Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

C as drove the borrowed Jeep the short distance back to the airbase with his brain on fire from all the things Delilah had told him.

Her words had robbed him of the power to breathe, of the power to think. That she’d gone through so much—that she’d lost a baby, that she’d almost died—and he’d been piously telling himself he was doing the right thing by walking away. That she’d be better off without him. And all the while she was suffering in pain and misery.

Alone.

No wonder she was bitter and angry. She must have hated him so much. She still hated him, and he couldn’t blame her. He’d let her down in the worst way.

The fact he was a fool was not news, but the chances of him redeeming himself in any way seemed elusive at best now that he knew the full story. But he owed her. He owed her more than he’d ever realized and even if he hadn’t screwed up so badly five years ago, he was desperate to help her now. He had no intention of letting her down again.

He glanced across at her in the passenger seat. She had her head tilted back against the headrest. They’d agreed it best she keep up her disguise while on this side of the country. Killion had worked out a cover story that hopefully reduced the risks of her being identified.

Cas didn’t know if he’d be part of the team actively trying to figure this out or not. Gold Team might get called out on an op at any moment. But he hoped he was. He really hoped so. First though, he had to get through Montana’s memorial service tomorrow morning.

He dug into his pocket and tossed her his handcuffs. “Put those on.”

She gave him a look, then slipped one of the metal bracelets around her narrow wrist. She twisted and gave him her back, so he could click the second cuff into place.

He wondered if she, like so many former military or law enforcement people, carried spare handcuff keys or a shim secreted about her person. Not that it mattered, as this was only temporary. An act. He’d let her go if she asked.

“I forgot to tell you…” She closed her eyes again as if enjoying the warmth of the sun on her face.

He waited patiently. The windows were all rolled down and the scent of the beach filled him with memories of their doomed romance. Funny how the Virginia coastline didn’t wield the same power over him. Or perhaps it was the fact everything here was soaked in memories of her.

“I called Scanlon’s ex.”

That dragged his attention back to the reason he was here. Not to reminisce. Not for forgiveness. Not for a second chance. Men like him didn’t get second chances with women like Delilah Quinn.

He turned his attention back to the road and pulled up in a short queue at the guard house. “She know who you were?”

Her lips pinched. “I didn’t give her a name. I informed her that her ex was out.” She shifted in her seat as they approached the guards. “She already knew. Apparently, Scanlon wrote to her from prison. Told her he was getting out and asked if he could spend some time with the kid. The wife is pregnant with her second husband’s baby, and I got the feeling he’d be happy if Melody wasn’t around.”

The fact she’d been talking to a pregnant woman must have brought all her agony to the surface again.

That, and seeing him.

And having her friend and boyfriend murdered and her house burned down.

The weight of everything that had happened to her clad his bones with sorrow.

“Scanlon’s not exactly ideal father material.” He winced as he said it. The same could be said of him. He’d never thought about being a dad until about an hour ago, and the lash of hurt he’d felt in the aftermath had hit him unexpectedly. He put that pain where he put all the rest. In a closed box deep inside that he’d deal with later.

Much later.

“She said she was planning to let him have supervised visitation rights and he was meeting with them today. I didn’t push for more details. But if we can find out when and where, we’ll have another data point for tracking his location.”

He nodded. Said nothing.

She eyed him over her large sunglasses, but they were at the barrier now so she kept quiet.

Cas flashed his creds. After a silent sweep of the vehicle for explosives, the guards waved him through with only a cursory check of Delilah’s ID.

Killion had arranged a prisoner transport and pulled in a few favors to make sure no questions were asked on this trip. The joy of being high up in the Agency.

Cas swung the Jeep over to the hangar where the plane he’d caught that morning still sat amid activity as various supplies, from armored vehicles to crates of equipment, were loaded onboard. It was a rare moment of military efficiency to make sure the hold wasn’t empty on the return trip .

Cas turned off the engine, left the keys in the ignition for the Jeep’s true owner. The motor ticked in the sudden quiet. He wanted to apologize to her. For everything. But she probably didn’t want that from him, and it wasn’t enough. “Ready?”

“I’m more than ready.”

Cas got out. Walked around and opened Delilah’s door for her.

“Can you manage?”

“Yes.” She hesitated. “Thanks.”

He nodded and left her to it. Went to retrieve their gear out of the rear compartment. “Where did you leave your vehicle?”

“Airport. Long term parking. Got a cab to the island and walked the rest of the way.”

Smart.

He swept his hand in front on him to indicate she lead the way. She headed up the ramp into the belly of the beast. All around, men watched her hips sway. It was an old trick. If they were watching her ass, they weren’t noticing her face. Which would be great if he wasn’t also ensnared.

She’d been a great undercover agent, but he’d been a thousand times more scared for her than he’d ever been for himself.

One more thing that had sent him running. Her father had simply been the excuse he’d needed to persuade himself he didn’t really have a choice. In reality, there was always a choice, and he’d made the wrong one.

Inside the plane, they dodged cargo until they reached the front of the aircraft. He released her cuffs. “Do me a favor and don’t make a run for it. Anyone comes by, pretend you’re secured to the netting.”

She sat heavily in one of the red plastic pullout seats. “It’s a mistake not going after him right now.”

“We need more information.”

“Which we get by following him.”

Cas shrugged.

She cocked a brow in question.

“Blame Killion, not me. ”

“Fine.”

He almost shared with her that Killion was going to be a father and how insane was that—but it seemed wrong to talk about other people having kids after she’d told him she couldn’t. They’d never even discussed having children…

“I’ll go talk to the captain and double check the time of departure.” The last thing he wanted was to be late for the service tomorrow. But Delilah’s safety topped even that. Especially now.

There were some debts that could never be repaid.

Montana would understand. It was the choice he’d want Cas to make.

“I’m not going anywhere. Hey, one thing.”

He jerked his chin in question.

“I don’t like other people knowing my medical history.” She couldn’t hold his gaze and looked away.

His heart gave a thump, and he laughed a little incredulously. “Who exactly do you think I would tell?”

She shrugged one nonchalant shoulder. “I have no clue. Your buddies? Your latest squeeze? For all I know, you’re married with kids—” She cut herself off and blinked rapidly.

“No.” He sat beside her and leaned close. “There’s no one. No wife, no kids, not even an ex worth the mention, except you.” He met those warm brown eyes of hers and gave her the truth. “There was only ever you, Delilah, and I screwed it up. I knew it the moment I lied to you and walked away.” He couldn’t tell her about her father’s interference, not when the man had dementia and she loved him. He wouldn’t do that to her. “I was scared of the enormity of my feelings for you and feared I’d be destroyed if you ever changed your mind and decided you were better off without me. I was a coward, and I’m sorry for it. I’ve always been sorry for it.”

Tears spiked her lashes. Her jaw looked like it would break it was so tightly clenched.

“I know I’ll never get that back. I’m not saying this in some foolish attempt to, to…I don’t know, rekindle what we had.” His th roat worked as he fought for the words she deserved. “I’m glad you found someone else.” He wanted to touch her but didn’t dare. “I’m sorry you lost him on top of everything else that happened.”

He climbed to his feet and was about to walk away when she spoke, her voice deep and gruff with emotion.

“David and I were never lovers. We were work partners, but you somehow decided that meant more, which is freaking insulting, by the way.”

He paused as his heart pounded.

“I don’t have anyone significant in my life right now.” Her eyes narrowed when he looked back at her, some sort of hope building in his chest. “But that doesn’t mean I’ve been in love with you all these years. Because I haven’t.” She glared at him.

Yet, for the first time since he’d seen that news broadcast in the bar last night, for the first time since he’d left her staring after him like a wounded doe in the building that had burned to the ground, he thought he might have the sliver of a chance with this woman.

And he could work with a sliver. A sliver gave him hope. Something he hadn’t had in years.

There was no way he could act on that or reveal his feelings because she was the one who was scared of getting attached now. She was the one scared of rejection. And he’d done that to her the way life had done it to him.

So he kept his thoughts hidden. He was an expert at that kind of deception.

He nodded. “Understood.”