Cold Spite (Cold Justice: Most Wanted #5)

Chapter 42

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

D elilah knew she was probably making a huge mistake, but she could no more stop than she could turn back time.

She had missed him. Missed his face, his smile, his touch. The way he’d tried to protect her even though he’d turned out to be the biggest danger she’d ever faced.

He released his seatbelt and knelt on the seat opposite, bending his head because he didn’t fit in the cab. She raised her hand and ran her palm over the rough stubble of his jaw all the way up to his ear, sinking her fingers into his silky hair.

What that woman had done to him. What the family had done. It made her so angry on so many levels.

“Are you sure?” He sounded so uncertain.

Like it wasn’t obvious she wanted, needed , him to kiss her. “Do I have to beg nowadays?”

His gold eyes flared in the dim light. “I’m the one who needs to beg. For a kiss, for scraps.”

He rested his hand on her hip, and his fingers tightened, pulling her toward him. He lowered his mouth slowly, their eyes locked as if they were both terrified that if they looked away this would prove to be a dream.

But the scent of him. The feel of his firm lips against hers. The touch of those strong fingers gripping her to him as if he were afraid to let go. It all felt achingly familiar.

He was warm when she hadn’t felt warm in years. She opened her mouth and invited him in. Tangling tongues, reawakening senses. Deepening the kiss, feeling her blood heat, her skin tingle, and her body flare to life.

She reached up and undid the top button of his shirt, then the next. He’d removed the tie earlier. She slid her hand inside the material and over the smooth muscles of his chest. Felt his heart pounding wildly beneath her palm.

Her fingers slipped to his belt buckle. He stopped her with his hand on hers and she stilled.

“You’re sure about this?” His voice was a low growl and she could feel the emotions vibrating through him.

She held his gaze. Nodded. She was very sure. Because maybe the memories were wrong? Maybe what she thought it had been like was all in her imagination. But more than that, she just wanted to be with him again.

“Then let’s take this to the back seat where we have a little more space.”

Part of her wanted to make a joke to release the tension, but she couldn’t speak, and she didn’t want to ruin it. She climbed between the seats. Cas quickly drove the truck farther into the woods, then turned off the headlights and followed her into the shadows. They were deep in the forest. Hopefully alone.

He took off his jacket and hung it on the headrest of the front seat. She did the same and suddenly felt weirdly like she didn’t know what to do anymore.

Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe?—

“You’re so beautiful.” She heard him swallow.

She turned to make him out in the shadows. “You can’t see me.”

“I don’t need to see you. You’re seared on my brain like sunlight. ”

They were pretty words. He’d always been good with pretty words.

“I don’t feel beautiful.” She confessed. “I haven’t felt beautiful since you left me.”

He shifted. “I’ll never forgive myself for what I did to you.”

She found his eyes in the darkness. “I’ll never forgive you either.”

He froze.

“But I understand it better now. You were wrong to do what you did. You were totally wrong, but I understand a little more. I just wished you’d trusted me enough to have a conversation. This conversation.”

He caught her hand and kissed her fingers one by one. “I do too. I was a coward.”

Still, he didn’t move toward her, and she bit her lip.

In the past he wouldn’t have given her the breath to speak. When they’d been alone, they’d devoured each other without thought to the consequences. But he made no move to kiss her again, and she realized that perhaps he was here, doing this out of some sense of guilt or obligation…and that thought was unbearable.

A person could be beautiful without invoking passion.

“It’s okay if you don’t want me anymore, Cas.” It would hurt, but it needed to be said. “It’s okay if you no longer find me sexually attractive or just want?—”

“Not find you sexually attractive?” His voice was a heavy rasp. “I think you are the most divine creature to have ever walked the earth. I think that one day God up in heaven looked down at this small, sniveling creature named Casta Demarco and thought, what else can I do to try to bring this human to his knees? Oh, yes, a woman. I will create someone he can barely look at without getting tongue-tied and aroused even when surrounded by people who will judge him for it. I will create someone who steals the very oxygen from any room she walks into. Who makes his mouth water and his hands shake with desire. Who makes him weak and vulnerable in every circumstance. I’ll create this vision and let him fuck it up and make him think of her, regret the loss of her, every single day of his life. That should do it. That should finally be enough of a punishment for existing.” His voice was thick with fear rather than sugar-coated with charm. “Now I’m too terrified to touch you because I don’t want to hurt you. What if I screw it up again?”

“We can’t screw this up more than we already did.” She laughed a little. “There are no guarantees in life, Cas. Not for any of us. And us being here together now doesn’t guarantee us a future. But, perhaps, we could enjoy the moment. Life is short. We were both supposed to die this week, remember?”

Her eyes had adjusted to the dark, and he looked terrified by the reminder.

“I want what we used to have. I want the passion. The fire. I’m not some fragile creature.”

He shifted. “Lilah, you are the strongest person I ever met. I want you more with every breath and that doesn’t seem possible.”

The fact he called her Lilah, something he’d only ever done when they were intimate, gave her the courage he thought she possessed. She started undoing the buttons of her shirt. “Then prove it.”

His eyes changed then. Gaze sharpening on hers. “You want me to prove how much I want you?”

“Yes. No. God, it sounds so stupid when you say it like that.” She covered her face with her hands. “I’m no good at seduction. You have all the fancy words, and I just have these feelings inside, screaming to get out. I used to have words…” She’d lost her voice when she’d lost him.

“You don’t need any words.” He grabbed her hands in his. “I did this to you, Delilah—me, someone who knows how easily breakable we all are beneath the surface. I’m so sorry I hurt you, baby. You want me to show you how you make me feel? I can do that, but you must tell me if you change your mind or if I am too rough. Because I’m not sure I can go slow or be gentle. ”

“I don’t need slow or gentle.”

“I do.” He moved her hands aside and began to undo the remaining buttons of her shirt, taking his time to slip each carefully free of its buttonhole. When he reached the last one, he spread the shirt wide and took her in. He traced a finger over the curve of her breast encased in a simple cotton bra.

“I have dreamed about these breasts.”

Her nipples peaked against the fabric and he grazed his thumbnail gently over the tip of one.

“And these nipples. So pretty and pink.” He pushed the cup down and moved his thumb back and forth over the tight flesh.

She shuddered.

He leaned back to remove his shirt and weapon and holster as she tugged off her shirt, her gun, and toed off her shoes.

She went to undo her pants but his hands stopped hers. “Let me.”

She let him take over again, but it was awkward and cramped in the back seat, but that somehow seemed right. Being easy would be wrong. He pulled the material down her legs and over her ankles. Then he dragged her toward him so she was half lying down.

He pinned her hands and pressed them against her thighs as he eased her legs apart. She was still in her underwear but barely. She felt exposed. Vulnerable. Something she didn’t allow herself to be with anyone else. Ever.

He kissed her stomach, her hip bones, and then lower, sliding his tongue down the side of her panties at the crease of her leg before letting go of her hands to pull the material aside.

He found her clit first, unerringly settling his mouth on that nub of flesh that sent wildfire blazing through her body.

Her head went back and a cry came out of her mouth. He put his hands under her ass and shifted her bodily toward him, pushing her thighs wider and sinking his tongue into her core.

She bucked and throbbed and couldn’t breathe.

He jerked the material of her panties impatiently, and they gave way with a ripping sound. His tongue worked her agonizingly slowly, cruising the folds of her vulva, devouring her until she shook. His hand pushed the cup of her bra up, his fingers finding her hard nipple and rolling it with the exact amount of pressure that sent waves shooting from her breast to her sex. His mouth sucked on her clit, never letting up, and then she was flying, trembling, flinging herself up and out into the darkness—and it was just like she remembered. The pleasure, the euphoria .

She wanted more. Her hands reached for his belt, and she quickly unbuckled it. He leaned back to get rid of his pants, and she unhooked her bra and tossed it into the front seat.

She sat up and straddled him, placing her hands on his shoulders.

“Oh, I have definitely dreamed about this.” His hands skimmed her body, touching her breasts, her face, bringing her close enough to kiss her deeply, thoroughly.

His hands settled on the cheeks of her ass. “This ass might be my favorite part of you.”

“You’re an ass guy?” She chuckled. She hadn’t expected that.

He squeezed and brought her forward so the center of her brushed against his erection. “Only this ass.” He nuzzled her ear. “I don’t have any protection on me, but I had the all-clear at my last physical. I haven’t been with anyone since.”

She nipped his jaw, grateful that he still thought to ask. It was a risk, but as she hadn’t been with anyone in too many years to mention, it was a slim one. Cas wouldn’t lie to her about this.

“We don’t need a condom.” Her body ached for him, and she didn’t want to wait. If she waited, she might lose her nerve. She slid her hand down his hard length, skin as soft as silk over rigid flesh.

He groaned then squeezed her ass and brought her closer to him. “Don’t tease me. Lilah. I can’t take it.”

His thighs widened and forced hers farther apart, bringing her down so her opening kissed the tip of his erection.

His fingers dug into her flesh, and she could feel a fine tremor moving through his entire body. Those unusual yellow eyes held hers. Then he gripped her knees and eased them slowly toward him, and she sank down, biting her lip at the exquisite sensation of being filled.

She started moving, watching him as she did so. Watching what she did to him.

He took her nipple into his mouth, shooting another wave that sparked through her body to her core. He started speaking to her in Spanish then, and she didn’t know what he said, but it was sexy as hell.

He grabbed her hips, and he was thrusting up into her and hitting that spot that made her cry out again as another orgasm shot through her and exploded like fireworks inside her body. Cascade after cascade of pleasure rushed through her. And then he went taut beneath her, and he held her so tightly as he came inside her that she swore she’d have bruises tomorrow.

He exhaled and his muscles lost all their tension. He stared up at her, and she stared back.

The sex had been incredible—just as she’d remembered—but she wasn’t sure it solved anything. Perhaps it didn’t have to.

He hooked her hair behind her ear. “I’d like to do that again in a bed sometime soon.”

She inhaled sharply as he rocked inside her. “How soon?”