Coming Home to the Mountain: Complete Edition

7. Reuben

CHAPTER 7

Reuben

W alking inside with Meadow feels surreal. I want her to like my cabin. It's a thought I've never had before. Then again, I've never brought a woman here. Not ever, not once.

"So you built this house?" Meadow asks as she steps inside.

The A-frame cottage is perfect for Plum and me. There are two bedrooms on the main floor. Upstairs, there's a loft. There's a wood-burning fireplace in the corner, with a sofa and a few chairs. A kitchen table for four is next to the stove and refrigerator. A sink with a window behind it, looking out to the backyard patio.

I watch Meadow as she takes it in, running her hand over the back of the couch, her fingers against the wool blanket. She keeps walking toward the fridge, taking in all the paintings and drawings that Plum has made that I've stuck to the refrigerator.

"You're a proud papa," she says.

"Yeah, my little girl has me wrapped around her finger."

Meadow smiles, turning to me. "So how long have you lived here?"

I swallow. “After I lost Beth, I was in a real bad place. 19 years old and the world I thought I was going to be living in was gone just like that."

Meadow stands still, listening. I walk toward her, looking out that window over the sink, memories returning to me.

"Anyways," I say. Meadow is standing next to me now. She sets a tote bag on the kitchen counter. Her eyes turn out the window, taking in the same scene as me. "My parents were worried about Plum and me. We lived with them for a while, but then I needed to get out of that place. Not their house exactly. Just that dark well of pain. It wouldn't leave. My dad and brothers had the idea that I should build a place for Plum and me. See, when she was born, we lived in town, Beth, Plum, and me, but after..." I run a hand over the back of my neck, turning to Meadow. "Building this cabin helped me keep my head on straight, helped me push past all that blackness that was trying to take over and gave me something to do when I woke up every morning. My mom and my sisters, they were amazing with Plum."

I swallow. "Sorry. I've never talked about this with anyone."

"No one?" Meadow asks.

"Well, I mean, I saw a therapist for a while there, but I've never been one for talking. I use my hands, you know, to work through my shit, and building this cabin..." I look up, taking it all in. "It helped. When Plum and I moved in here, she was about two years old, and the land was part of my parents' property. You can walk through a trail to get to their house, and I remember Plum and I, we'd walk down to my parents' house most every night for dinner that first year. I was trying to get my bearings."

"And now you feel grounded?" Meadow asks.

I nod. "Yeah, but it's strange. I've never had a woman over in this house. Not once." I exhale. "I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't be telling you all this. My story is a sad one."

"And you lost Beth in a car crash?" she asks. Beth’s name being spoken feels so sweet.

"She was in a car accident with Plum. Somehow Plum made it out just fine. Not a single scrape, but Beth, she didn't survive. It was fast."

"And you were married?" Meadow asks.

"We'd been high school sweethearts. Knew each other most of our lives and we were dating senior year. She got pregnant. But we were young and in love and felt like we could do anything. So we did. We got married and our parents had opinions, but I've always been the kind of person who, once I put my mind to something, it's hard to dissuade me."

Meadow smiles. "That's a good quality. You know what you want. You know who you are."

"Yeah," I say. "What about you, Meadow? Do you know who you are?"

"For a long time I thought I was just the product of my parents. I didn't quite see myself as separate from my family, but now I do. Now I know that I have dreams that don't just consist of me singing songs with my guitar. I want to be settled somewhere. I want to put down roots."

The room goes still. Our voices hushed. It's just the two of us and hell, we can talk as loud as we want, but Meadow's energy is graceful, gentle. I feel like when she talks, it's a big old hug wrapping around me.

"I'm sorry if kissing you was too forward," I tell her. "I wasn't trying to put you on the spot. I know my life is a lot and..."

"No," Meadow says. She presses a hand to my chest. "I don't want you to apologize. That kiss was everything." She licks her lips now. "I think you're an incredible man and I think you're lucky to have such a great family."

"I like that family means a lot to you too.” I chuckle. “Your dad, he didn’t give me the fifth degree. I was worried he might. Those triplets though, they are a handful!”

Meadow smiles. “Yeah. They’re a handful.” She reaches into her tote bag and begins pulling out lettuce, peppers, an onion, and a bottle of wine. "They're crazy but I love them," she says. "They're the three Js."

"What do they play in the band?" I ask her.

She grins. "The banjo, the harmonica, and the ukulele."

"Eclectic," I say. I pull out the chicken from the fridge that I had been marinating for the last few hours and some vegetable kabobs. "You want to come outside?" I ask her. "We can fire up the grill."

A few minutes later the meat and vegetables are cooking and we're each holding a glass of red wine. I watch as Meadow tosses the salad. She tells me she made the dressing and I like that. She reminds me of my mom in that way. Clearly knows her way around the kitchen, but not just that. She is confident in a way that isn't loud or demanding. Like she's comfortable in her own skin.

"So," I say once the food's ready and we're sat down at my kitchen table. "Can I make a toast?"

"To what?" Meadow asks, lifting her wine glass.

"To first chapters."

"To fairy tales," Meadow says. She smiles softly and I know she's thinking about what Plum said this afternoon, about Rapunzel. Our glasses clink and we each take a drink before picking up our forks and beginning to eat.

"I kind of want to know everything about you," I say.

She laughs. "Okay. Well, I already told you my hobbies, something I'd like to make into a career. My family means everything to me."

"What's it like living in a RV?"

"It's awesome in a lot of ways. We get to see new places all the time. When my dad got laid off from work, I was probably like ten years old and my parents decided to heck with it. We were already being homeschooled and our life had always been kind of simple, so we just decided to hit the road as a band. We never looked back. When we got older, Nate married Jessica, that's my sister-in-law, and they bought their own RV so then we had two. And I don't know, we've just always been on the road."

"That's crazy," he says. "Not in a bad way, in a brave way."

"Yeah. I have a feeling my parents are just going to keep driving around this country for the rest of their lives. They love it, and I must admit, it’s a really cool childhood. I always got to see new places, meet new people. It helped me grow up. I never was scared of the unknown because every week or two, we’d be in a new place at a new campground, starting over. Playing music, enjoying music festivals and summer concerts. I feel pretty lucky."

"I want to take Plum camping this summer," I tell her. "We haven't done a proper camping trip yet and I think she's ready."

Meadow smiles. "Yeah. For a couple nights at least."

"My parents, my family, they have a hunting cabin up in the woods. It's nothing fancy, but I could always take her up there for a few nights too."

"A cabin's different than camping in a tent though," Meadow says.

"Do you like being in the outdoors?" I ask her.

"I love it. I basically grew up outside,” she says. “I love new campsites and sometimes still, even though we have the RVs, if we go to a really beautiful place, I like to set up a tent in the summer when the weather's good because there's something about waking up with the birds chirping and the morning dew." She smiles, her cheeks rosy. She's beaming. "It feels like a fresh start all over again. Do you know what I mean?"

I nod. "I totally get it. So," I say, "it must be pretty hard to date if you're on the road."

Meadow laughs. "Yeah. A little bit. Besides being on the road and traveling so much, it’s also hard to date when your family is always up in your business.” She pauses. “It might be a red flag, right? The fact I haven’t dated before and you’ve experienced so much in life."

I nod, sitting back in my chair, wiping my mouth with my napkin. "We do have different life experiences. That's for sure. I had so much love and loss all packed into such a short amount of time, enough to last a lifetime, really. I loved Beth, but I’m no longer the man I was when I met her. Back then I was just a kid. I didn't really know what I wanted. What really mattered. Losing her changed me. You know? Taking care of Plum on my own made me grow up real fast. And I always knew that family was important, but I know that on a deeper level now," I say, blinking back tears. "Damn. Sorry. It's just, family's everything to me. I like that about you, Meadow. Your family and you, you're as thick as thieves."

She exhales. "You're making me real emotional. You know that, Reuben?”

"Do you not usually cry?" I ask, seeing the tears in her eyes.

"I'm not all hard edges, no, but I don't know. Just sitting here with you, talking, I feel like you see me in a way no one else ever has. Is that crazy?" She pushes back from the table. "Sorry," she says, "I feel like..."

I stand, walking over to her, pulling her out of her chair. I take her hand in mine. "What do you feel, Meadow?"

"I just feel like I was supposed to meet you today. Like maybe I fell just so that you could carry me here."

"So I could carry you home?"

She looks up at me and I lean down. I kiss that girl again deeply, with passion, with care. I kiss her knowing I don't want to stop, but eventually she pulls away.

"I'm sorry," she says with a grimace. "I'm balancing on one foot and it's hard as hell."

I chuckle. "Let me help with that," I say. I lift her up in my arms and I carry her over to the couch. Sitting beside her, I ask, "Is that better?"

She lets her legs rest over my knees, her hand cupping my cheek, running through my beard. "That's better," she says. "Now kiss me again, Reuben." So I do.