Composed at Randy’s (Diner Days)

7. Wren

Chapter 7

Wren

W hen I wake up, the sun is blinding me through a crack between the curtains. It may be October, but, man, when the sun wants to shine in New England, it goes all out.

I fight my way free of Bael’s bed for the third time today, and I gotta tell you, if I'm going to be struggling in this bed, I don't want it to be due to stuffies and bedding. Once I'm free, I look around, but there's not a single Bael to be seen.

Huh. I wonder where he went?

Since he's not here, I poke around his bedroom because I didn't really get to see much of it earlier. I make my way over to one of the little couches and notice the pillows on it are all squished, and there's a blanket on the floor in front of it.

The idea of Bael scrunching his huge body down enough to sleep on such a tiny couch makes me laugh.

I wish I'd seen that.

Along one wall is a huge entertainment system with the largest number of video games I've ever seen in my life. On another is a spectacular collection of toys and figurines.

This guy knows how to live. It's never even occurred to me to do something like this. I make a mental note to discuss with Kai the logistics of having something like it in my condo as soon as possible.

I could play with his video games and toys right now, but I'd rather go find Bael. Maybe we could play with them together. I should probably leave after that, though, because I don't want to wear out my welcome. Also, any day now, one of my people will come looking for me, and they’ll freak out if they don't find me.

After poking around in Bael’s closet (He has an amazing assortment of clothes, and if they weren't too big for me, I would try everything on.), I finally leave his room.

Why did I poke around in his closet? Because I can’t find where the dirty clothes I wore last night went, so all I have to wear is a robe so big it drags on the floor behind me, and I had to wrap the belt around me three times in order to keep it from dragging on the floor too.

I take a deep breath and steel my spine before going out into the hallway. I tell myself that these people won't care what I'm wearing because none of them seem like the judgmental kind, and if they are, they should have left me some fucking clothes to wear.

Once I get to the common room, I don't see Bael or the guys I met last night. Instead, I see Laura and a woman I've never met before having coffee and laughing together. I pull the robe around me tightly and join them.

“Good morning, sweetheart. Did you sleep well?” Laura asks. I forgive her for infantilizing me because she doesn't know me, and I probably look like a child in this massive robe. Generally, I don’t mind my loved ones treating me like a little cutie pie because I am and should be treated as such. Strangers though? They gotta earn that right.

I nod mutely and realize doing that probably made me look even more like a child.

Goddammit.

“I heard you weren't feeling well, so you should let us take care of you until the boys are back. Are you hungry?”

“I could eat,” I say, realizing that my stomach is growling like crazy. “I don't want oatmeal.” I had enough of that this morning, thank you.

“Noted,” Laura laughs. It's lovely, musical, and takes away all my reservations.

“Hello, new person,” I say shyly to the lady sitting beside Laura.

The woman stands and says, “I'm Allie, and you must be Wren.” She holds out her hand for me to shake, and I take it awkwardly.

“That's me.” Jesus, I'm an awkward person. I really need my Kai. I don't realize how truly bad I am at socializing until he's gone.

“Let me go fix you something to eat in the kitchen,” Allie says. “I'll be right back.”

“Watch out for Elvis,” I call to her back as she heads towards the kitchen.

She waves her hand in acknowledgement and then she's gone.

“So how do you know my son?” Laura asks. “I didn't get a chance to talk to you before I got caught up with Mel.”

“I don't know him actually. Bael brought me here while I was sleeping. Do you know where I am right now?” I'm used to being fuzzy on the details of my daily life, but this is information I probably need.

Laura looks at me incredulously. “Oh, honey. Please tell me they didn't kidnap you.”

“Of course they didn't.” I'm probably not lying here. I did tell Bael that he could take care of me, after all. “I was very sleepy last night.”

Laura nods like what I said explains everything. Bael did tell me everyone has a wonky sleep schedule, so maybe everyone's sleepy all the time and they're all just weird here.

This place sounds perfect actually. I hate to have to leave, but after I eat, I'm really going to need to get out of here. If Bael isn't here, there's no reason for me to stay.

This thought makes me super sad, but there's nothing I can do about it. It's just common sense. Overstaying my welcome is the last thing I want to do to such nice people.

That doesn't stop me from snarfing down everything in sight when Allie returns with a great big honking tray covered in a delicious assortment of healthy food.

I'm not a huge fan of that last part, though. Healthy food is very meh for me, but at least Allie made sure it was all the yummy kind.

Laura and Allie are both charming breakfast/ lunch companions. Laura tells me stories about her clients and her Onlyfans platform. She sounds like the coolest mom ever, and I hope Shay knows how lucky he is. Even if I’m pretty sure Laura banged Mel last night.

It's gotta be weird to have your roommate hook up with your mom. But I don't have a mom, so I'll take anything I can get, and Laura sounds like the cream of the crop when it comes to moms.

Once the food is done, I offer to help carry everything to the kitchen and help wash the dishes. Sure, I'm a little nervous about Elvis, but he didn't bother Allie, so I'll probably be safe, right?

“Thank you, hun, but I can't let you do that,” Allie says and takes all the food away to the kitchen.

“Does Allie live here?” I ask Laura.

“No, she just arrived this morning. Only Shay, Mel, Bael, and Travis live here. This is their base of operation. Even though they hop around a lot, they always come back here. Eventually, they decided to take up permanent residence in this hotel because they like it so much.”

Laura's answer sparked so many questions in me that I don't know where to start, so I address the last part first. “Hop around?”

Laura leans back and studies me. “What do you know about the boys?”

“Literally nothing.”

“Oookay then.” It’s way suspicious, but Laura’s been nothing but nice, so I let it pass. Laura keeps going though, saying, “The boys finished most of their, um… business here in Boston last night, so they'll be moving on to Connecticut soon.”

“Business?” The questions just keep rolling in, and I'm fighting to keep up.

“You really have no idea, do you? You’re not just playing dumb.”

“I just showed up last night.” Do I sound defensive? I’m pretty sure I do, but wow, I hate when people call me dumb. I can use it when I talk about myself, but other people should keep it as an inside thought, don’t you think?

I don’t call her on it. My fingers do start getting twitchy though.

Whenever I’m uncomfortable or feeling wiggly inside, it always makes me want to draw. It’s a coping mechanism I developed when my parents died. When the inside stuff gets too big, I put it on a page and it becomes way more manageable.

It’s not something that usually sends me to Artland because it’s a conscious choice, but it’s enough of a danger that I know better than to ask for paper and pencil. I’m in a strange environment with a stranger. Kai made me promise to hell and back again that I wouldn’t draw unless I was somewhere safe.

“You belong to Bael, right?” Laura asks, and it's such a non-sequitur that I forget all about my twitchy fingers.

“I don't belong to anyone.” Belonging to Bael sounds nice though, and my stomach wibbles from admitting I don’t. I don’t want to draw anymore. I just want to run away. “Actually, I need to leave now, but it was really nice meeting you.” I get up from the couch and search for the exit.

“Wait!” Allie calls from the kitchen and races into the common room. “Before you leave, I need you to sign something.”

“Sign something?”

For the first time since meeting Bael, alarm bells go off in my head. Why do I need to sign something before I leave?

Allie shoves about a million papers in my face. “It's a standard NDA. All hookups are required to sign one.”

What the ever-loving fuck?

“We-we didn’t hook up. Bael just let me crash in his room for the night.” Does Bael do this sort of thing often? He doesn’t seem like the type of person to ditch a person after fucking them. And if he is, it’s pretty mean of him not to bang me before ditching me.

Great. Now I'm sad.

My face must be showing that, because Laura jumps up and gives me a hug. “Sweetheart, don't let a one-night-stand get to you. You're too good for him, and if he's bailing on someone like you, he's not worth being sad over.”

“I absolutely second that, Wren,” Allie says, but then she sticks the papers in my face again, completely ruining the sentiment. “Once you sign these, I can get you a ride anywhere you need to go. You’ll never have to see him again.”

I dodge the papers Allie is thrusting in my face. Kai told me never to sign anything if he isn't there, and I gotta tell you, I hope to god Kai never even finds out I was here.

If he does, he’ll never buy my favorite breakfast cereal ever again. In fact, I'm willing to bet on him going directly to the company and every grocery store in town and terrorizing them into making sure I'm never able to buy them myself either.

Kai is a wholeass experience.

I'm pretty sure it takes someone that extra in order to keep me alive, though. Plus he’s better at playing Cards Against Humanity than any other person on the planet, including Marty, who has the darkest sense of humor of anyone I’ve ever met. Every time Kai joins the game, he makes me laugh until I’m ready to throw up.

I keep going on about Kai, don't I?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not in love with Kai, I don't want to have his babies (EW!), and I'm not pining over him or anything. But if you see somebody every single day of your life and they’re deeply invested in keeping you alive and happy, you're going to become a huge fan of them. Unless they’re an asshole, but Kai isn't. I may bitch and complain about his tyrannical ways constantly, but I absofuckinglutely adore him.

Just not in a dirty way.

Okay, moving on.

Allie and I play a vigorous game of I'm not touching that NDA so please get it out of my face for a bit before Laura finally intervenes.

“If you were going to make him sign those, you really should have done it before he came into the penthouse.” Laura is trying not to laugh at how Allie has me pinned face-down on the couch while I windmill my little arms and legs as hard as I can in an attempt to get her off me.

“I’m sorry, kid, but I have to do my job.” Allie only relents when Laura grabs her by the arm and pulls her off me. At least Allie has the decency to look embarrassed.

“Your job sucks,” I say as I pull together my last shreds of dignity and the lapels on my robe. Yes, I’m nearly naked at this point. Yes, I forgot I was only in a robe when I was about to leave this place a minute ago. And yes, you can shut your cake hole about it.

If the robe wasn't as big as it is, I would have shown these two ladies far more than I ever planned to share with them. Fortunately for me, they only got the dollar peep show and not the full Monty. Small though it may be, I paid good money for my downtown amusement park, and someone had better at least buy me a nice dinner before they see it.

Once I get myself put back together, I’m ready to magnanimously forgive Allie for mussing up my person, but when she tries to stick the papers in my face again, I leap off the couch and shout, “You’re a lot less nice than I thought you were!” Then I race back to Bael’s room.

I lock the door and ignore the knocking that happens two seconds later by putting on a set of headphones from Bael’s entertainment system and playing the shit out of Undertale for a while.

Out of pure spite, I overwrite the game he’s in the middle of. If he wanted me to be a good guest, he shouldn’t have had his person rough me up.

Thirty minutes into the game, I get a fantastic idea. I drop the controller, run over to the door, and put my ear to it. When I don’t hear anything, I drop to the floor and peek under the crack. I see no feet, which probably means the coast is clear, so I hop up and tear ass to Bael’s closet. I dig through it until I find something that could remotely stay on my body for an extended period of time. I end up putting on a slinky fishnet shirt with a silky underlayer, and I slap on a belt.

Now I have a fancy new dress!

A very manly one, thank you very much.

Armed with my new dress and no shoes—why the hell are Bael’s feet so big? Fuck it, I don't need shoes—I take stock of my body and see that I’ve gained a lot more energy after getting a good rest and putting two solid meals in me. I should be able to do this.

I burst out of Bael’s room, putting on as much speed as I can, and I race for where I think the door is. I'm in luck because I see a big, fancy, gilded double door just as I hear Allie shout “Wait!” behind me.

Sucks to be you, Allie. I’m outta here.

Or so I thought, but when I get the doors open, I slam face first into not one, but two meat walls. Outside the doors are two men who could have easily been extras in the Men in Black franchise.

I let out a little urk! as I’m hoisted into the air by Meat Wall #1. He only uses one hand to do it, by the way, and I'm terribly insulted by this. He could have at least pretended to need two hands.

I lash out at Meat Wall #1, kicking my feet with everything I have in me. When Meat Wall #2 grabs my feet, I go feral and dig my teeth into Meat Wall #1’s hand.

He lets out a very satisfying scream, so I bite harder. Maybe next time he'll know better than the fuck with a tiny person.

I know the meat walls are miles ahead of me in the ass-kicking department, but I decide that if I'm going down, I'm leaving permanent scars in my wake.

I can see Allie’s arm through a crack between the meat walls. And I hear her shout, “Oh my god, stop!” but I am not fucking stopping. It's personal now.

“If I let him go now, I might not be able to have kids later,” Meat Wall #2 says in a strangled tone. Yes, I nailed him directly in the man berries with a well-placed kick, and yes, I'm very proud of myself.

“I am so getting fired,” Allie sounds close to tears, which means if I try really hard, I can get Meat Wall #1 in a sensitive spot, and then I'll have made all three of them cry. They might take me down, but at least I'll make them all deeply regret it.

I'm okay with not making Laura cry. She seems actually nice, not fake nice like Allie.

Just as I am about to achieve my goal, a thundering, “What the fuck is going on here???” booms through the hallway and interrupts my stride. This allows the meat walls to get a firm grip on me and I'm left hanging in their hold.

That's when my tiny store of energy drops me in a ditch, and I feel my whole body start to shiver.

Fuck me and my life.