Cosy Nights & Snowball Fights (Little Duck Pond Cafe #36)

CHAPTER ELEVEN

‘Josh was asking after you,’ was Maddy’s opening line when I walked into the café on Friday morning.

‘Was he?’ I said casually, as if I really didn’t care.

‘You’ve obviously made an impression on him.’

‘Well, I don’t see how.’ Taking my coat off, I turned away so she wouldn’t catch my blushes. ‘He only met me for about three minutes.’

‘Sometimes that’s all it takes,’ she said enigmatically. ‘He was wondering if you’re planning on going to the radio station’s charity fundraiser event on Sunday.’

‘Oh. Well, I don’t think so,’ I hedged. ‘My parents will be here. They’re arriving tonight.’

Before I’d left for work, I’d tidied my room and put fresh linen on the bed, all ready for their visit. They’d be here in time for dinner and I was so looking forward to seeing them and giving them both an enormous hug. Chatting on the phone was lovely, of course, but being in their company was the boost I sorely needed. Especially after the near-clash with Jo the other day.

‘It’ll be a really fun day,’ persisted Maddy. ‘I’m going to be helping out. It’s in aid of a brilliant charity and there’s loads going on.’ She looked at me enquiringly.

‘Yes, but my parents will be –’

‘Well, bring your mum and dad along. As I said, it’s in aid of a really –’

‘Good cause. I know!’ I snapped. I’d seen the posters around the village. I knew what cause they were supporting. But all they’d evoked in me were horrible memories.

Maddy looked at me in surprise. ‘Sorry. Did I say the wrong thing?’

‘No, no. Sorry. I didn’t mean to –’

‘Me and my big mouth.’ She grinned. ‘Okay, I promise I’ll stop trying to matchmake you and Josh.’

I laughed, feeling relieved I didn’t have to explain. Maddy clearly thought my touchiness was because of Josh.

‘You would make a lovely couple, though.’

I did a fake growl and she held up her hands. ‘Okay, okay. I’ll stop. Can you see if the dishwasher’s finished yet, please?’

‘Of course.’ I smiled. ‘I’ll go and empty it.’

I didn’t mind her going on about Josh. But there was no way her attempts at matchmaking were going to come to anything. I’d slid the business card he’d given me into my bedside drawer (it would have felt rude to just throw it away) but I wouldn’t be phoning his number any time soon. Josh seemed lovely, but you had to be in the right place emotionally to start dating – and I most definitely wasn’t there yet.

My ex-fiancé had a lot to answer for...

*****

I’d been seeing Gavin for just a month when we decided we were serious enough to meet the parents. And after three months, we were already talking about our joint future together – planning holidays we wanted to take and how we’d work it so we saw both sets of parents on Christmas Day. Friends were a bit wary of Gavin at first. They saw him when we were out charming everyone and being the centre of attention. But I knew him much better than they did – I’d seen him in action many times when we worked together – and I knew it was just his nature. He was a flirt, but as I said to Jo, ‘He flirts with everyone – men as well! It’s just the way he is.’

I think even Jo realised that eventually because once she’d got to know him properly, she’d match Gavin with his flirty banter, knowing it made me laugh to listen to them. And it really did. I knew it didn’t mean a thing.

It was just something amusing they did. And I’d trust both of them with my life. (Jo had had a few brief relationships but never anything serious. She always said she was waiting for ‘the one’ and she refused to compromise.)

Christmas that year was perfect, with romantic kisses under the mistletoe and opening presents together. We even went to see a pantomime. I’d always loved pantomimes, ever since Jo’s family started including me in their annual visit when I was about eight. I hadn’t been for years but I managed to persuade Gavin to go that year. He made a big jokey fuss about it, saying he was going to be bored witless and exactly how old was I? But he belly-laughed louder than anyone at the antics, and afterwards agreed he’d had a surprisingly good time.

‘So can we go again next year?’ I asked, as we left the theatre, arms around each other.

He grinned and planted a kiss on my nose. ‘Absolutely.’

I felt like I was floating on air. I couldn’t have been happier.

And then on New Year’s Eve, I came down to earth with a massive bump.

I’d never particularly liked New Year. I didn’t drink so I always felt like a party pooper and Gavin didn’t exactly help. He was always trying to get me to try alcohol again... to take a drink from his glass. I think it irritated him, my sobriety, and I lost count of the times I tried to make him understand why the smell made me feel sick. He hated Jackie for giving me such a chaotic and dangerous childhood, but he couldn’t understand why, after all this time, I was still affected by something so trivial as a smell.

That New Year’s Eve I had a headache. It had started in the afternoon and later, I wondered if it was stress because we were going to a big party organised by Gavin’s work and I’d be mixing with people I used to work with, who I hadn’t seen for over a year. I was half-way through my two-year beauty course by then, and absolutely loving it.

I told Gavin I didn’t feel well, hoping he might say we could ditch the party and open a bottle of champagne at home, just the two of us. But instead, he seemed disgruntled. So, not wanting to spoil his night, I gave in and we went along. And at first, it was fine. I chatted to lots of people and they all wanted to know how the course was going, and I was having a good time. Gavin, of course, was off charming everyone, but I was used to it. I certainly wasn’t expecting him to be glued to my side like many of the couples seemed to be. I actually rather liked that he was a party animal; we were good together. We balanced each other out, what with me tending to shyness and Gavin being an extrovert. Sure, he flirted all the time, but it never led anywhere. He never left me in any doubt of his feelings for me, and I felt completely secure in his love.

But as the people around me partied and grew louder and began losing their inhibitions, I shrank a little into myself. Events like this, where the alcohol was flowing freely, still had the power to bring back unhappy memories. And my headache was still nagging away.

I decided at last that I’d had enough. I needed to get home. Gavin would understand. He could stay at the party and get a taxi home later...

I went in search of him but he wasn’t in the bar area or on the dance floor. I tried phoning him but there was no signal, so I went outside – just beyond the main doors – in search of one.

Yes! It was ringing.

It took me a few seconds to realise that there was an echoing ring nearby. It must be Gavin. But where was he?

And then I saw him.

There was a taxi parked in the road with its lights on, presumably picking up a fare from the party. And two people were lingering beside it, chatting. It was Gavin and just then, I heard the girl’s peel of laughter and realised it sounded very familiar. Ella from accounts.

He ignored my call and continued their conversation, and I hurried over there, thinking maybe he’d helped Ella order a taxi and was now gallantly making sure she got away safely. It would be just like him to do something like that. I was about to call out to him when suddenly, Ella moved closer and kissed him. He drew away slightly and I heard him laugh awkwardly as if she’d taken him by surprise. But she kissed him again. And this time, he didn’t resist. As I watched in mounting horror, he slipped his arms around her, pulled her against him and then they were kissing passionately, not realising I was standing just a few steps away watching them.

At last, they broke apart, laughing, although Gavin’s hands were still round Ella’s waist. They looked so natural together, standing there murmuring to each other words I couldn’t quite catch, and I wondered just how many times this had happened. He’d always told me he thought Ella was quite a sad sort of person, but maybe that had just been a front to conceal what was really happening...

And then Gavin laughed at something she said and looked away for a second. And that’s when he saw me standing there.

Afterwards, when I’d calmed down and was actually talking to him again, he pleaded and pleaded with me to forgive him, saying that Ella had come on to him and he’d been so surprised and hazy with drink that he’d just let her kiss him. But I’d seen them together with my own eyes and I knew it hadn’t been as one-sided as he was making out.

It was over, as far as I was concerned. I could no longer trust him.

I felt completely devastated. I’d been planning a future with this man, but now I couldn’t get the image of him and Ella kissing passionately out of my mind, however much he told me he loved me and would do anything to make it right between us.

If it had been just a surprised kiss, I could probably have got over it. But far worse was my memory of how relaxed they’d seemed together, which to me indicated it wasn’t the first time. The scales had fallen from my eyes. Gavin’s tendency to flirt wasn’t as harmless as I’d thought. Far from it...

We had a week in Lanzarote booked, leaving two days later, and I was all for cancelling it. But somehow Gavin managed to convince me that apart from being a terrible waste of money, it would be good for us to get away from everything familiar and have time to ourselves. He said he’d accepted that it was over between us, but that if there was even a tiny chance that we could talk and find a way through it, we’d be fools not to take it. Maybe the holiday was exactly what we needed.

So I allowed myself to be persuaded. I told myself that I needed a holiday and it would be fine. There would be no romance, obviously, and I made sure Gavin realised that. He agreed immediately and I could tell he was as shocked as I was by our break-up and he was doing everything he could to keep me, even if only as a holiday companion...

I didn’t tell any of my friends about Gavin and Ella because I knew what they’d say... that I was a fool to even think of going on holiday with a man who’d cheated on me like that.

But the thing was, I loved Gavin. I was truly, deeply in love by that time. And I suppose a part of me, deep down, was still hoping against hope that we could make it over this devastating bump in the road. I wasn’t ready to lose him...

Gavin proposed on the third night.

And I accepted.

Starry-eyed with happiness, I told myself that every relationship went through rocky times. But the past was the past.

This was a new beginning for both of us.

Now, as I cleared tables in the café, I thought sadly how blinded by love I must have been to let Gavin win me over so easily and even agree to marry him...