Court of Aether and Shadows (Crowned Monster Trilogy #1)

11. Home At Last

Home At Last

~SPARROW~

“ I ’m still falling?”

The wind whistled past my ears as I plummeted from the rooftop, my heart racing with a mixture of fear and exhilaration.

Marco's betrayal, the chaos of the mission, the strange shift between a world of unexplored territory and tempting reality — all of it swirled in my mind as the ground rushed up to meet me.

For a split second, I try to wonder, who I once was.

What life did I live that encouraged the senseless death of the innocent? I wouldn’t kill a family, would I? An entire village? Maybe…not intentionally?

Key pieces were missing in this trivial riddle, and Marco knew that. He wanted me to feel guilty. As if I deserved to spend my last moments of life thinking of the terror and turmoil I caused to him and a family I never knew existed.

A village within a place of starlight and a fae prince that betrayed his court for me.

All of it sounded preposterous to me, but if it was nothing, would I keep pestering my frazzled mind over it? There was a sense of familiarity with the situation, but I didn’t…pity him. Pity them. It felt deserved.

A punishment plagued the lands as a reminder of who carried the scythe of judgment in their grasp.

A shame to admit, I didn’t feel bad in the slightest. I guess it was a blessing when I dared think about it. To not feel a hint of remorse, because truthfully, there was nothing to be ashamed of.

At least, that’s what my very being told me.

Just as I braced for impact, convinced these were my final moments, the world around me shimmered and rippled. It felt as if I was passing through a curtain of cool mist, and suddenly, I was no longer falling through the frosty city air.

Instead, I plunged into chilled water, deep and startlingly clear.

HUH?!

The shock of it drove the air from my lungs, but some instinct – one I didn't even know I possessed – took over. My body moved with a grace and certainty that felt both foreign and achingly familiar, propelling me upward through the crystalline depths.

As I swam, I caught glimpses of impossible beauty, especially when I realized just how deep I’d fallen within this paradise of underwater bliss.

Schools of fish with scales that glowed like living jewels darted past me. Plants in shapes I'd never seen before swayed in an unfelt current, their fronds reaching out as if to caress me as I passed.

The water itself seemed alive, tiny motes of light dancing through it like underwater fireflies.

When I finally pierced the surface, I gasped, filling my lungs with sweet, fragrant air, unlike anything I'd ever breathed before.

It tasted of exotic flowers and sun-warmed fruit, with an underlying crackle of energy that made every nerve-ending tingle.

Holy fucking hell…I made it. I…survived?!

"I'm... alive?" I sputtered, treading water as I tried to make sense of my surroundings. Gone was the dark city night, the looming threat of capture or death.

Instead, I found myself in a world that defied everything I thought I knew about reality.

The lake I'd landed in was a mesmerizing swirl of blues and purples, with flecks of what looked like starlight dancing beneath the surface. It stretched beyond me, vast and serene, its shores lined with trees whose silver leaves shimmered in a non-existent breeze.

In the distance, I could see mountains that seemed to float, their peaks wreathed in clouds that glowed with inner light. How strangely beautiful it was — the shades of copper and evergreen decorating the mountain tops were, with hints of snow that twinkled like Christmas decor.

But it was the sky that truly took my breath away.

It was a painter's dream – warm, golden tones blending seamlessly with soft pinks and lavenders. Ribbons of color danced across the heavens, like an aurora but more vibrant, more alive.

And there, hanging impossibly large and beautiful in the sky, was a blue moon that seemed close enough to touch. Its surface was etched with intricate patterns that shifted and changed as I watched, telling stories I could almost, but not quite, understand.

Still in shock, I swam to the edge of the lake, hauling myself out onto a bank covered in soft, iridescent grass. Each blade seemed to sing as I touched it, a melody just on the edge of hearing. My combat gear was soaked and heavy, but somehow, I felt lighter than I ever had before. It was as if some great weight I'd been carrying my entire life had suddenly been lifted.

Looking down at my hands, I was startled to see my skin glowing with a soft, inner light. Intricate patterns, like the most delicate lace, swirled across my flesh. They pulsed in time with my heartbeat, growing brighter as I focused on them. A few dared to swim in orbit, moving at a constant pace that stressed the importance of balance in my mind.

"What... what is this place?" I whispered, my voice shaky with a mixture of awe and rising panic. The beauty around me was overwhelming, but so was the enormity of what had just happened.

One moment I had been falling to my death, betrayed and cornered, and the next...

My head pounded as I tried to reconcile the impossible.

Instead, I found myself in a world that defied everything I thought I knew about reality.

The rational part of my mind – the part trained for combat and survival – was screaming that this couldn't be real. I must have hit my head in the fall. Or maybe I was dead, and this was some kind of afterlife? Heaven at best? Just minus the angels they talk about.

But another part of me , a part that felt ancient and newly awakened , whispered that I was finally where I belonged.

That this was the home my soul had been craving for.

Centuries lost and memories buried deep within.

As I stood there, caught between wonder and fear, I became aware of a strange sensation building within me. It was as if the very air, the earth beneath my feet, the water still clinging to my skin – all of it was reaching out to me, welcoming me home.

Power thrummed through my veins, foreign yet achingly familiar.

I closed my eyes, overwhelmed by the sensations coursing through me.

In that moment of stillness, memories flickered through my mind – not of my life in the human world, but of this place.

Running through fields of flowers that sang as I passed.

Swimming in lakes of liquid starlight.

Dancing beneath a sky filled with more moons and stars than I could count.

It made a smile creep onto my parted lips, allowing my pounding heart to slow as I basked in the blissful glee of these joyous memories that made me feel innocent and free.

But with those flashes of joy came darker images.

A great battle, the sky torn asunder by forces I couldn't comprehend.

A crown, heavy with the weight of destiny.

And faces – so many faces – looking at me with hope, fear, and expectation.

My smile faded as disappointment consumed me. It felt as if so many peoples’ hope laid upon my shoulders and I’d suddenly let them down. It made me feel pitiful. Like all this power coursing through me still couldn’t protect everything I cherished.

So…what led to me sacrificing it all?

My eyes snapped open, my breath coming in short gasps.

What were these visions?

Why did they feel so real, so much a part of me?

All of this felt so damn confusing. Like I was two different people, fighting desperately to figure out the past that wasn’t mine while dealing with the confusing uncertainty of my current life that I obviously ran from.

I couldn’t comprehend what I wanted.

What answers do I yearn for?

"Princess?"

The voice, tinged with shock and something like reverence, made me whirl around.

The sudden movement sent a wave of dizziness through me, reminding me of how close to exhaustion I truly was. As I struggled to focus, I saw three figures standing a few yards away.

One was a woman who looked startlingly familiar – Elenore, the medic who had tended to me after I was shot. But she looked... different . More radiant, her eyes glowing with an inner light that matched the patterns swirling across her skin. Her hair, which I remembered as a plain brown, now shimmered with strands of living gold and sparkled with shimmering orange.

Matched with her turquoise blue attire, created in a sort of combat one piece, she looked a radiant princess ready to hop on a horse and gallop through the fields to ignite a war.

Beside her stood a man I didn't recognize, tall and regal, with features that seemed to shift and change as I looked at him. One moment he appeared young and vital, the next aged and wise. His eyes, a swirling vortex of colors, fixed on me with an intensity that was almost physical.

The most striking thing about him was his vivid red hair that shifted to silver — the red shade complimenting his youthful appearance while the silver ignited that onset of aged perception.

In between them was an older woman whose silver hair floated around her as if she were underwater. I could see the familiarities between her and Elenore, especially with the magnitude of golden tinsel strands that mimicked similarities.

Her face was lined with age, but there was a timeless quality to her as if she had seen the birth of stars and would witness their deaths as well.

Our eyes met, instantly igniting a warmth of recognition and peace despite never meeting this woman. At least, not in this lifetime. When she smiled at me, I felt a wave of comfort wash over me, easing some of the panic that had been building.

Having the three of them stare at me with a mixture of awe and disbelief made me feel like I was some long-lost treasure that was suddenly found.

Or a deer in headlights.

They were all staring at me with a mixture of awe and disbelief as if I were some long-lost treasure suddenly returned to them.

“Okay…” I began, staggering back to try and steady my gait. The world was still spinning, despite my attempt to stay completely still. I was still in a bit of the water, but it felt as though a soft path of grass cushioned my step — lending me strength that I didn’t register I needed. “W-Where am I? How did I get here? And who the hell are you?”

I circle my fingers but pause on Elenore.

“Except for you. I remember you, Elenore…though you were less…glowy?”

She nervously smiled at that, showing her perfect set of teeth.

The older woman stepped forward, her movements graceful and fluid despite her age. It was mesmerizing to witness the energy that danced around her — an aura of various shades that twinkled with gold and swayed with hints of light and shadow.

"Oh, my dear," she said, her voice rich with emotion. "You've finally come home to us.” Her eyes dare to water, growing glassy as if the sight of me has brought her immense joy. It made me feel as if I was a lost child finally being seen by a Mother who had been searching for years. Decades even. “After all these years, our lost princess has returned."

Home?

The word echoed through me, stirring something deep in my soul. The single word echoed. Again and again, a pounding reminder of what I’ve craved and yet couldn’t grasp was my current reality.

But how could this be home? I’m… Sparrow…wasn't I? A street kid…orphan…turned assassin…with no family…no roots...just me and my best friend, Liam…and yet...

And yet…

I know there’s a missing piece that’s desperately trying to click in place. I felt a sense of rightness that I'd never experienced before. The air itself seemed to embrace me, filling me with strength and vitality that defied the exhaustion of my recent ordeal.

"But I'm not..." I started to protest, but the words died on my lips as another wave of memory washed over me.

A grand hall filled with beings of impossible beauty.

A throne of living crystal, humming with power.

And a name whispered with reverence and fear:

Lirael.

There it was.

That missing piece of my soul has been desperate to click in place.

The world suddenly tilted around me, colors blurring and swirling in a dizzying kaleidoscope. My legs gave out, and I felt myself falling backward towards the water.

The last thing I heard before darkness claimed me was the sound of voices calling out:

"Princess Lirael!"

My consciousness began to slip away, just like how my body began to sink into an endless abyss. I could have been having a mental breakdown, but I always pictured those as overdramatic moments of chaos — the crying and screaming were usually a bonus in theatrics.

My mind thought it was funny to ponder upon this Princess.

Whoever this Princess Lirael was.

Clearly, she’d have loads of explaining to do because certainly, that couldn’t be me. Royalty? What did that even mean in a fleeting world of endless color and lasting opportunity?

That wasn’t what I was afraid of.

I just didn’t want to admit it.

Acknowledge that if I were this Princess in this terrifying yet alluring world that felt like home, the me I’ve known for as long as I could remember was…

A lie.

The little girl who watched people come and go, looking at the child with odd black and white strands of hair, delivering stares of conflict and disappointment. How the world ignored my existence, despite my pleading eyes for help.

For salvation.

To be in a nice cozy home that would open their arms to me.

That would give me a chance to survive.

Instead, all that suffering and turmoil led me to the Underground where I spent all that time fighting desperately to prove my worth.

What the heck was all of that for?

Was it all for nothing?

Where were these visions and tales before that?

It felt like my world was shattering, and it hurt.

Burned like my lungs that were desperate for air, while the world sunk further.

If my life is but an illusion does that mean…

Sparrow isn’t real?

Sparrow…is…dead?

Who is Sparrow?

As I drifted into unconsciousness, the world around me seemed to sing a lullaby. The melody was tender as if to comfort me as I struggled to grasp this identity crisis.

Voices whispered my name — dancing between Sparrow and Lirael — in voices of rustling silver. It sounded like the rustling of trees, which was odd when I was certainly underwater.

The water lapped at the shore, each wave a promise of adventures to come, which again, seemed odd, when I had to be sinking to my final destination of death.

And the sky, that impossible, beautiful sky, seemed to embrace me like a long-lost child finally returned to its mother's arms.

So maybe I wasn’t sinking…I could be floating.

I really couldn’t grasp what was reality and what was a fleeting dream, but I couldn’t fight this internal battle any longer. My will was too weak, my motives wavering with the uncertainty of what the future upholds, and I guess I feared I’d be walking a new path that left me feeling as though I’d be alone.

Only…deep down, I know I won’t be.

Not this time.

As the last tendrils of consciousness faded, I felt a smile curve my lips. It could be an act of insanity, or maybe determination to pull out from another challenge that begged to see my end.

I told myself whatever happened, this wouldn’t ruin me.

That I’d just have to defy the odds…like I always had.

Only, there would be a catch.

I wouldn’t lose me. Sparrow. No matter if this new world yearned for me to forget those vines of life and return to my roots where it all began.

There was a sense of rebellion bearing fruit within, and I was going to be the first to enjoy the juicy taste my resilience would deliver. If it meant I was broken — or different — so fucking be it.

I never was a rule follower. I certainly wouldn’t be in this world.

The game had changed.

This path had morphed into something more gratifying.

And if that meant keeping both sides of this new coin, I’d do exactly that and prove to this world and all those in it, that I could still be the entity they spoke of while maintaining the person I had been.

The person that brought me this far.

Internal acceptance gave me the confidence to give in to the clawing darkness — all my sensations fading, even as it felt like I was finally being pulled upward.

I allowed myself to rest —to dream of crystal spires and starlit skies, of power that flowed like water through my veins, and of a destiny that stretched out before me like an unwritten story, waiting to pick up the pen and begin.

Tomorrow would bring challenges and revelations.

But tonight, I’d allow myself to dwell in this brewing sensation.

The hum of joy one feels when they’re finally home…