Court of Aether and Shadows (Crowned Monster Trilogy #1)

44. Depths Of The Void

Depths Of The Void

~ N YX~

"Your power runs deeper than you let others see," Lord Helios observed quietly as we maintained our healing energies around Sparrow. "I wonder why someone of your capabilities chooses to hide behind chaos and mischief."

I kept my eyes fixed on Sparrow's sleeping form, not wanting to meet his all-too-perceptive gaze. "I don't hide anything," I said, though the words felt hollow even to my own ears. "I simply am who I am."

"Are you?" His harmonious voice carried centuries of understanding. "Because I see someone who deliberately downplays their mastery of void magic. Someone who uses pranks and rebellion to deflect attention from their true potential."

My galaxy eyes flickered involuntarily to his face, finding his iridescent gaze fixed on me with unsettling insight. "With all due respect, my Lord, you don't know me."

"Don't I?" He adjusted the healing matrix around Sparrow with delicate precision. "I know what it's like to be different. To feel as though you don't quite fit into the neat categories others have created."

Something in his tone made my carefully maintained barriers waver. "The mighty Lord Helios? An outcast?" I couldn't keep the bitter edge from my voice. "Somehow I doubt you've ever known what it's like to be truly unwanted."

"Haven't I?" His perfect features arranged themselves into an expression of such profound understanding that I had to look away. "To feel as though your very existence challenges others' comfortable assumptions about how the world should work?"

My void energy flickered erratically, betraying my emotional state. "It's different," I muttered, focusing on stabilizing my contribution to the healing matrix. "You're still... you're..."

"Male?" He finished softly. "And therefore automatically granted certain privileges? Automatically assumed to be powerful and worthy of respect?"

The truth of his words hit too close to home. I fought to keep my power steady, to maintain the mask of casual irreverence I'd perfected over years of survival.

"Tell me, Lady Nyx," he continued, his voice gentle but relentless, "do you downplay your abilities because you truly wish to, or because you've learned that a powerful female makes others uncomfortable?"

My hands trembled slightly where they hovered over Sparrow. "I don't..."

"You can maintain a perfect void duplicate while simultaneously concealing your true presence from some of the most magically sensitive beings in our realm," he noted. "Your understanding of void mechanics rivals masters thrice your age. Yet you let others believe you're nothing more than a trouble-making wolf who occasionally dabbles in void magic."

"Stop," I whispered, the word carrying more vulnerability than I'd intended.

"Why?" He pressed, though his tone remained kind. "Because I'm seeing too clearly? Because someone is finally acknowledging that your 'chaos' is a carefully constructed shield against a world that would rather you be small and manageable?"

Emotions I'd buried beneath years of practiced indifference threatened to surface. My galaxy eyes burned with unshed tears as I stared at my sleeping friend, at the Omega who had walked into our lives and somehow made me feel seen for the first time in centuries.

"Power like yours shouldn't be hidden," Helios said softly. "It shouldn't be diminished to make others more comfortable with their own limitations."

I swallowed hard against the lump in my throat, unable to voice the fear and loneliness that had shaped my existence. The constant pressure to be less, to shrink myself, to hide my true nature behind a facade of rebellious chaos.

His next words were barely a whisper, but they shook me to my core: "You are not wrong for existing exactly as you are, Lady Nyx."

The healing matrix around Sparrow wavered as my control slipped, void energy responding to my emotional turmoil. Helios's celestial power compensated smoothly, supporting mine without taking over.

Just like that first day in the void court gardens, when I'd realized I would never fit their narrow definition of proper female behavior, tears slipped silently down my cheeks. But this time, someone saw. Someone understood.

And in the depths of those understanding eyes, I found something I'd never expected from the Lord of Aether:

Recognition.

Here's the continuation of the chapter:

"I was like you once," Helios spoke softly, his perfect features softening with memory. "Young, gifted beyond measure, and so terribly angry at a world that seemed determined to force me into their predetermined molds."

His iridescent robes shifted through darker colors, reflecting the weight of his words. "The Aether Court expected perfection - not just in power, but in presentation. Everything had to be light and pure, pristine and controlled." A bitter smile curved his lips. "But my magic... it burned too hot, too bright. It wasn't the gentle illumination they wanted. It was wild, dangerous - beautiful in its intensity but frightening to those who preferred their light safely contained."

My tears slowed as I listened, caught by the raw honesty in his voice. His celestial energy maintained its healing flow around Sparrow, but I could feel ancient pain bleeding through his usual perfect control.

"They tried everything to 'fix' me," he continued, his harmonious voice carrying echoes of old wounds. "Binding spells to dampen my power, endless lectures about proper court behavior, constant reminders that I was bringing shame to my bloodline. My own father..." He paused, swallowing hard. "He suggested having my magic permanently sealed - said it would be better to have a weak heir than an uncontrollable one."

"What happened?" I whispered, galaxy eyes wide with horrified understanding.

"I broke," he admitted quietly. "Shattered into pieces so small I thought I'd never be whole again. Considered walking into the Void realm and letting the nothingness take me. Anything to escape the constant pressure to be something I wasn't."

His iridescent eyes grew distant, lost in memory. "I was at my lowest point, standing at the border between courts, ready to step into oblivion. And then..." A smile touched his lips, transforming his face with genuine warmth. "Then I met someone who looked at all my jagged edges and saw beauty instead of flaws."

My breath caught as understanding dawned. "Lord Aetheron?"

"He was just the shadow prince then," Helios said softly. "Wild and unapologetic about his own nature. The first time he saw my power - my true power, not the carefully controlled version I showed the courts - he laughed with pure delight. Called it magnificent."

The healing matrix around Sparrow pulsed with the emotion in his voice. "He didn't try to change me or contain me. He pushed me to burn brighter, to embrace every aspect of who I was. For the first time in my life, someone saw me - really saw me - and wasn't afraid."

"What happened to change that?" I asked, though I suspected I knew.

Pain flickered across his perfect features. "The courts happened. Politics happened. The Council's rigid views on what relationships should look like..." He shook his head. "We let them separate us, let their fear and prejudice poison something beautiful. It's my greatest regret."

He looked down at Sparrow's sleeping form, something complex and tender crossing his face. "But she... she reminds me of that time. When I was finally brave enough to be myself, consequences be damned. She has that same fire - that refusal to be diminished."

"Like someone else I know," he added pointedly, meeting my galaxy eyes. "Someone who hides her true power behind pranks and chaos, just as I once hid mine behind perfect control."

The white fox chirped softly, rubbing against my hand in what felt like encouragement.

"The difference," Helios continued, his voice gaining strength, "is that you don't have to make our mistakes. You don't have to let them make you smaller. Be exactly who you are, Lady Nyx - all of your power, all of your complexity. Let them fear your greatness if they must."

His iridescent eyes blazed with conviction. "Because I see you, just as Aetheron once saw me. And you, my dear void wolf, are magnificent exactly as you are."

The words hit me like a physical force, breaking down walls I'd built over centuries. Fresh tears fell, but these weren't born of pain or loneliness. They felt like release - like finally being able to breathe after holding my breath for far too long.

"Thank you," I whispered, the words carrying the weight of years of hiding, of pretending to be less than I was.

Helios simply nodded, understanding in his ancient eyes. Then his gaze shifted to the shadows near the door, a complex smile curving his perfect lips.

"Isn't that right, old friend?" he called softly.

Lord Aetheron materialized from the darkness, his golden eyes holding centuries of shared history as they met Helios's iridescent gaze.

"Always," he replied simply, the single word carrying more meaning than volumes of poetry could express.

And in that moment, watching the way shadow and light reached for each other across centuries of separation, I finally understood that being different wasn't a flaw to be hidden.

It was a gift to be embraced.