Cowboy’s Healing Heart

5. That’s What Mamma’s Do

FIVE

THAT’S WHAT MAMMA’S DO

KRYSTAL

I can feel the weight of Shane’s gaze on me as I stand here, my heart pounding in my chest.

We’ve been dancing around each other for weeks now, the tension simmering between us, and tonight it finally snaps. I want him, and he knows it.

I can see the desire burning in his eyes.

“Come here,” he says, his voice low and rough.

I cross the room, my body moving without my brain’s permission. When I reach him, he pulls me against his chest, and I feel the hard planes of his muscles under my palms. His hands slide up my back, sending shivers down my spine, and he whispers, “I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you.”

His mouth crushes down on mine, and I moan into the kiss. It’s hungry and demanding, and I can taste the desperation. My hands fist in his shirt as I pull him closer, needing to feel the length of his body against mine.

He tastes like whiskey and something uniquely him—a hint of spice and something else I can’t name.

Shane’s hands move down, cupping my ass, and he carries me to the bed, his mouth never leaving mine. I wrap my legs around his waist, arching into him, wanting to feel more.

He groans, the vibrations rumbling through his chest, and his hands slide under my shirt, his thumbs brushing my nipples. I tug at his shirt, wanting it off, needing to feel his skin against mine.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he mutters, his lips trailing down my neck, sending sparks of pleasure through me.

I’m breathless, my head spinning as he works open the button on my jeans. He slides his hand inside, and I gasp as his fingers find my core, already wet and aching for him.

“You like that, baby?” he asks, his voice a husky growl.

I nod, unable to speak, as he adds another finger, stretching and filling me. “You’re so fucking tight. Gonna feel so good wrapped around my cock.”

I whimper, my back arching as he teases me, his thumb circling my clit "Shane... Please...”

“Tell me what you want, Krystal,” he says, his eyes locked on mine.

I can barely think straight, but I manage to choke out the words, “I want you inside me.”

He grins wolfishly, and then his fingers are gone, and he’s yanking my jeans and panties down my hips. I lift my ass to help him, and then I’m naked and spread before him, my heart pounding in my ears.

He stands, his eyes dark with desire, as he pulls his shirt over his head, revealing a body chiseled from stone. He kicks off his jeans, and I suck in a breath as I see the size of him.

“Fuck,” I whisper, my eyes widening.

“Like what you see?”

I nod, unable to speak, as he grabs a condom and rolls it on, and then he’s crawling up the bed, his hands on either side of my head.

“You sure you’re ready for this?”

“Yes,” I say, and then he’s pushing inside me, stretching me impossibly wide. It’s perfect.

I cry out, and he captures the sound with his mouth, his tongue teasing mine as he sinks deeper.

I cling to him, my nails digging into his shoulders as he begins to move, his hips snapping as he thrusts into me.

“That’s it, Krystal,” he grits out, his eyes burning into mine. “Take it all.”

“Yes!” I cry, my head falling back as he angles his hips, hitting a spot inside me that makes my toes curl.

Shane’s fingers grip my braid, tilting my head back and exposing my neck. His teeth scrape my skin as he thrusts harder, faster, chasing his own release.

Heat coils inside me, building with each thrust, and I know I’m close.

“Shane,” I whimper, my hands gripping his shoulders, nails digging in.

“Let go, Krystal. I’ve got you,” and then his hand is between us, his thumb finding my clit.

I do as he says, my orgasm exploding through me like a bomb, my body shaking and trembling as he continues to fuck me through it, drawing out the pleasure.

“Fuck, yes,” he grunts, and then he’s following me over the edge, his body shuddering as he comes.

We collapse on the bed and stay wrapped in each other’s arms, and I know that tonight has changed everything.

Shane pulls me to his chest, his lips brushing the top of my head.

I want to push him away. This was a mistake. A huge mistake.

But I’m too exhausted and too sated to move, so I let him hold me and let myself pretend, just for a moment, that this is something more.

We lay, my body spent, the sheets tangled around my legs. Shane’s room smells like him—a heady mix of soap, sweat, and something deeper, something that makes my head spin.

My chest rises and falls with each ragged breath. I can still feel the ghost of his touch, the way his calloused hands roamed over my skin, setting every nerve ending ablaze.

Shane shifts beside me, the mattress dipping under his weight. I can’t look at him, not yet. If I do, I might get lost in those blue eyes again, and God knows where that would lead.

Instead, I focus on the ceiling, tracing the cracks with my eyes. Anything to keep my mind from wandering to dangerous territory.

But it’s no use. My gaze is drawn to Shane like a magnet, drinking in the sight of him. His tousled hair, the sheen of sweat on his chest, the way his muscles ripple with each movement.

He props himself up on one elbow, his eyes locked on me with an intensity that makes me shiver. I can practically feel the heat radiating off him.

“You okay?” he murmurs, his voice low and rough.

I nod, not trusting my voice. My throat feels tight like there’s a lump lodged there that I can’t swallow past.

Shane reaches out, his fingers grazing my arm. The simple touch sends sparks shooting through me, and I have to fight the urge to lean into him.

“Krystal...” He says my name like a prayer, and something inside me cracks open.

I shake my head, sitting up abruptly. The sheet pools around my waist, leaving me exposed from the waist up. I clutch it to my chest, suddenly self-conscious.

“I can’t do this,” I blurt out, the words tumbling from my lips before I can stop them. “We can’t...”

Shane frowns, his brow furrowing. “Why not?”

“Because...” I falter, grasping for an excuse that doesn’t sound pathetic. “You work for me. And we’re only here for a few more months. Then we’ll both be gone, off to the next job.”

It’s a flimsy argument, and we both know it. But I cling to it anyway, like a life raft in a stormy sea.

Shane sits up fully, the sheet falling away to reveal his bare chest. My eyes are drawn to the smattering of scars there, souvenirs from his time in the military.

“So?” he challenges, his gaze holding mine. “That doesn’t mean we can’t...”

He trails off, but the implication hangs heavy in the air between us. I swallow hard, my mouth suddenly dry.

“It means we can’t ,” I insist, my voice sharper than I intended. “This was a mistake. A one-time thing that can’t happen again.”

The words taste like ash on my tongue, but I force them out anyway. I have to be strong, for both our sakes.

Shane’s jaw tightens, and I can see the muscle ticking there. He’s holding something back, some emotion that’s simmering just below the surface.

“You don’t mean that,” he says finally, his voice low and gravelly.

I open my mouth to protest, but he cuts me off with a shake of his head.

“Don’t lie to me, Krystal. And don’t lie to yourself.”

His words hit me like a punch to the gut, knocking the wind out of me. Because deep down, I know he’s right. This thing between us, whatever it is, isn’t just physical. It’s deeper than that, more dangerous.

And that terrifies me.

I scramble out of the bed, clutching the sheet around me like a shield. My legs are shaky, but I force myself to stand tall.

“Promise me,” I say, my voice wavering despite my best efforts. “Promise me this won’t happen again.”

Shane’s eyes bore into mine, and for a moment, I think he’s going to refuse. But then he gives a curt nod, his jaw clenched tight.

“I promise.”

The words hang in the air, heavy and final. I nod, turning away before he can see the tears stinging my eyes.

I gather my clothes quickly, dressing with my back to him. Every fiber of my being is screaming at me to stay, to crawl back into that bed and lose myself in his embrace.

But I can’t. I won’t let myself be that vulnerable, that open to heartbreak.

Not again.

With one last glance over my shoulder, I slip out of Shane’s room and into the cool night air. The walk back to my cabin is a blur, my mind a whirlwind of conflicting emotions.

Shame. Desire. Longing. Fear.

By the time I reach my door, I’m trembling from more than just the chill. I pause, leaning my forehead against the rough wood, trying to catch my breath.

What the hell am I doing? How did I let things go this far?

I squeeze my eyes shut, willing the tears not to fall. I’m stronger than this. I have to be, for Ashanti’s sake, if nothing else.

I walk over to the rocking chair and pull out my phone.

“Hey, Tink. Everything okay?”

The sound of my mother’s voice opens up the dam. “No, ma’am.”

“What is it, baby?”

“Everything, mamma.” I cry, missing her, missing home.

“Baby, you’re strong, and whatever it is ain’t got shit on you.”

I chuckle. “Woman, you’re crazy.”

“Damn straight when it comes to my kids. What happened?”

I shake my head, looking out into the night. “Jordan, calling again. And I need to look for another job.”

“Want me to call June Bug?”

I throw my head back and laugh. “Oh, hell nawl. That man is one can short of a six-pack.”

We laugh until I can’t breathe.

“You better, baby?”

“Yes, ma’am, just don’t know what I’m gonna do.”

“Well, when you don’t know what to do…”

“Come home.”

“That’s right, baby. Come home. We can handle anything together.”

I nod, knowing I can return to Atlanta. But that’s not my home anymore, not after experiencing life outside the city. And I don’t trust living in the same city as Jordan.

“I still have eight weeks in my contract. I’ll keep you posted.”

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll talk with you Sunday.”

“Yes, ma’am. And thank you, mamma.”

“No thanks are required. That’s what mamma’s do.”

I hang up, feeling lighter. But it doesn’t solve my issue with Shane or Jordan.

Taking a deep breath, I walk over to open the door. Ashanti is asleep on the couch, a book lying open on her chest. The sight of her, so peaceful and innocent, steadies me.

This is what matters. My daughter, our life here at the ranch. Not whatever twisted game Shane and I are playing.

I scoop Ashanti into my arms, cradling her against my chest. She stirs, blinking up at me with sleepy eyes.

“Mom?” she mumbles, her voice thick with sleep.

“Shh, baby,” I murmur, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

As I tuck her into bed, smoothing the covers over her small frame, I make a silent vow. No more games, no more giving in to temptation.

Shane Kennedy is off-limits from now on. I won’t let him get under my skin again.

I can’t afford to.