Cowboy’s Healing Heart

12. A Heart Divided

TWELVE

A HEART DIVIDED

KRYSTAL

I sit at the long dining table, surrounded by Shane's family, feeling like I've stepped into another world.

The china clinks softly as we eat, the sound echoing in the tense silence. Shane's father, Richard, sits at the head of the table, his piercing gaze sweeping over us all. Courtney, Shane's ex-fiancée, sits across from me, her perfect smile never wavering.

I stare at the extravagant setup around me. The ranch's main house has been transformed into a scene straight out of a high-society dinner party. Five courses, china clinking, and everyone dressed to the nines. I roll my eyes, ready to get out of this dress and back in my jeans and boots.

"So, Krystal," Richard says, his voice cutting through the quiet, "Shane tells me you're a mechanic."

I nod, swallowing a bite of food. "Yes, sir. I specialize in heavy machinery."

Richard's eyebrow arches. "Interesting career choice for a woman."

I force a smile. "It's a challenging field, but I enjoy it."

Courtney leans forward, her blonde hair cascading over her shoulder with practiced ease. "How... charming. I suppose hard work comes with a certain appeal, doesn't it?"

I grip my fork tighter, fighting the urge to snap back. Shane's hand finds mine under the table, giving it a gentle squeeze. I glance at him, but his face is unreadable, his jaw set in a hard line.

"It can be," I say, keeping my voice even. "But it's rewarding."

The conversation moves on, but I barely hear it. My mind is racing, trying to make sense of this new reality. Just yesterday, Shane and I were in our own little bubble, away from all of this. Now, I'm thrust into a world of wealth and expectations that I never asked for.

As dinner wraps up, I excuse myself, needing a moment alone. I step out onto the porch and inhale the cool night air. The ranch stretches out before me, familiar and comforting, but even that feels different now.

"You okay?" Shane's voice comes from behind me.

I turn to face him, crossing my arms. "I'm fine. Just needed some air."

He steps closer, his hand reaching for mine. I let him take it, but I can't shake the feeling that something's changed. The warmth I've come to expect from him feels muted, overshadowed by his father's presence.

"I know this is a lot," he says, his voice low. "But it'll get better when we're in New York."

I want to believe him, but doubt gnaws at me. "Will we? Because right now, it feels like I'm losing you to all of this."

Shane's brow furrows. "What do you mean?"

"You're different around them," I say, gesturing back towards the house. "Colder. Like the Shane I know is disappearing, and it's only been twenty-four hours."

His gaze stares aimlessly out to the horizon, a gesture I've come to recognize as a sign of stress. "I'm just trying to navigate this, Krystal. It's not easy for me either."

I pull my hand away, stepping back. "I get that. But I need to know if this is what our life is going to be like. Because I'm not sure I can do it."

Shane's eyes widen as if he's surprised by my words. "We're just adjusting to each other, Krystal. Once we're at my place, we'll have more space. I promise."

I open my mouth to respond, but the sound of the door opening cuts me off. Courtney steps out. Her smile is as perfect as ever.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she says, not sounding sorry at all. "Am I interrupting?"

Shane steps away from me, his face hardening again. "No, we were just talking."

Courtney's eyes flick between us, calculating. "Well, your father wants to discuss some business matters, Shane. He's waiting for you in the study."

Shane nods, then he turns to me, his eyes softening for a moment. "We'll talk later, okay?"

I nod, not trusting myself to speak. As Shane walks away, Courtney lingers, her gaze fixed on me.

"You know," she says, her voice dripping with false sweetness, "this world isn't for everyone. It takes a certain... strength to handle it."

I meet her gaze, refusing to be intimidated. "I'm stronger than you think."

She laughs, the sound like tinkling glass. "Oh, I'm sure you are. But strength isn't everything, darling. Sometimes, it's about knowing when to let go."

With that, she turns and walks back inside, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I stare out at the ranch, my mind whirling. This morning, I agreed to marry a man I thought I knew. Now, I'm not sure of anything.

I make my way back to my cabin, needing to see Ashanti. I can't shake the feeling that I'm being watched as I walk.

Ashanti is sitting on the couch when I enter, her sketchbook open on her lap. She looks up, her eyes widening at whatever she sees on my face.

"Mamma? What's wrong?"

I sit next to her, pulling her close. "Nothing, baby. Just a long day."

She pulls back, studying me. "Is it about Mr. Shane? How'd it go? Are we still moving?"

My heart clenches at her words. How many times have I uprooted her, always running from one thing or another? I take a deep breath, steeling myself for the conversation I never wanted to have.

"Ashanti, we need to talk about some things. About Shane, and about our future."

She nods, her face serious beyond her years. "Okay. Is it bad?"

I shake my head, trying to find the right words. "Not bad, just... different. Shane has asked us to move to New York with him. To be a family."

Ashanti's eyes widen. "Really? Like, for good?"

"Maybe," I say, not wanting to make promises I can't keep. "But it would be a big change. We'd be leaving the ranch, starting over in a new place sooner than we planned."

Ashanti is quiet for a moment, processing. Then she looks up at me, her eyes determined. "If it means we get to stay with Mr. Shane, I'm okay with it. I like him. He makes you smile."

Her words surprise me. When did my little girl become so perceptive? I pull her close, fighting back tears.

"You're right, baby. He does make me smile. But I need you to know that no matter what happens, you're my priority. If you're not happy, we don't have to do this."

Ashanti hugs me tighter. "I know. But I think we should try. Maybe this time, we can have a real home."

I nod, unable to speak past the lump in my throat. We sit there for a while, just holding each other. As the night wears on, hours after Ashanti goes to bed, my mind is still racing.

I'm on the couch, nursing a glass of wine, exhaustion washing over me. The events of the day play on repeat in my mind. Shane's proposal, his family's arrival, and dinner tension. It all feels surreal as if I'm watching someone else's life unfold.

A soft knock at the door startles me. I open it to find Shane standing there, his face a mask of concern.

"Can we talk?" he asks, his voice low.

I step aside, letting him in. He stands like a stone wall.

"I'm sorry about dinner," he says finally. "My family can be... intense."

I snort, unable to help myself. "That's one word for it."

Shane's gaze holds mine as if he's looking for something. "I know this isn't what you signed up for. If you want to back out, I'd understand."

His words hang in the air between us. Part of me wants to take the out he's offering, to run back to the safety of my old life. But another part, a part that's grown stronger over the past few months, can't bear the thought of letting him go.

I take a step closer to him, my hand reaching for his. "I don't want to back out, Shane. But I need to know that the man I fell for is still in there somewhere. Because the person I saw at dinner tonight? That's not the Shane I know."

He pulls me close, his arms wrapping around me. I let myself melt into his embrace, the familiar warmth of his body a comfort I didn't realize I needed.

"I'm still here," he murmurs into my hair. "I'm sorry if I seemed distant. It's just... being around my family brings out a side of me I don't like. But I promise you, Krystal, the man you know is the real me."

I want to believe him. God, how I want to believe him. But doubt still lingers, a nagging voice in the back of my mind reminding me of all the times I've been hurt before—all the times men have abandoned me and left me to deal with the fallout.

"I need you to prove it," I say, pulling back to look him in the eye. "Not just with words, but with actions. Show me that we're in this together, that you're not going to disappear into that world and leave me behind."

Shane nods, his eyes serious. "I will. I promise."

I just hope I'm not trading one cage for another.

He leans in, his lips meeting mine in a tender and desperate kiss. For a moment, I let myself get lost in the feeling of his arms around me, the taste of his lips. But as we break apart, reality comes crashing back in.

"We should get some sleep," I say, stepping back. "It's been a long day."

Shane nods, his hand lingering on my arm. "You're right. We'll talk more tomorrow, okay?"

I nod, walking him to the door. As he steps out into the night, he turns back, his eyes meeting mine.

"I love you, Krystal. Never doubt that."

Before I can respond, he's gone, disappearing into the darkness. I close the door, leaning against it as I try to steady my breathing.

I love you too , I think, the words catching in my throat. But is love enough?

As I get ready for bed, my mind won't quiet. I think about Ashanti, about the life I want to give her. I think about Shane, about the future he's offering us. And I think about Jordan, about the last time I let myself believe in a man's promises.

I climb into bed, my body exhausted but my mind alert. As I drift off to sleep, one thought echoes in my mind: I'm engaged.

I lift my left hand and look at my ring finger. Marriage is something I never gave much thought to until I gave birth to Ashanti. Laying in the hospital bed alone with my bundle of joy caused life to take on a new meaning. The sacrifices my mother made to raise three children alone, barely having enough of anything—money, time, energy.

In that bed, I had never felt more alone, and the reality that Jordan would be no help rang true and loud. I assumed I'd be like my mother. Raising my daughter on my own. And as I stand on the cusp of a new reality, I'm unsure how I feel.

Am I afraid? Am I still independent? Am I ready to be Shane's wife?

Just as I'm about to fall asleep, my phone buzzes. I reach for it, squinting at the bright screen in the darkness. My heart stops when I see the message:

Jordan Hendricks: Congratulations!

I sit up, suddenly wide awake. The peace I'd found crumbles, replaced by a familiar fear. As I stare at the message. Then, it buzzes with an incoming call. It's Shane. My heart skips a beat as I answer.

"Hey," I say, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Hey." His voice is laced with concern. "Are you okay?"

I take a deep breath, the weight of Jordan's message crashing over me again. "I...I need you here. Now."

There's a pause, and I can almost see him nodding, understanding without needing further explanation. "I'm on my way."

Relief washes over me, and I end the call, my hands shaking slightly. Part of me can't believe I'm doing this—letting someone in, allowing myself to be vulnerable. But the thought of facing Jordan alone is too much to bear.

It doesn't take long for Shane to arrive. I hear the crunch of gravel outside as his truck pulls up and then a soft knock at the door. I open it to find him standing there, his expression a mix of worry and determination.

"Come in," I whisper, glancing toward Ashanti's room. She's asleep, blissfully unaware of the turmoil swirling around us.

Shane steps inside, his eyes searching mine.

I tilt my head up, meeting his gaze. His eyes are soft, filled with a tenderness that makes my heart ache. Without a word, he leans down and kisses me, pouring every ounce of emotion into that single moment.

I take his hand and guide him to my bedroom. He pulls the door closed, and without a word, he starts to undress, stripping down to his boxers. I feel a flush creeping up my neck as I watch him, my body reacting to his proximity in a way I can't control.

I gesture toward Ashanti's room, and he nods, understanding my silent request.

"Trust me," he murmurs, his voice low and reassuring.

Those two words hang in the air between us, loaded with meaning. He's asking me to do the one thing I swore I'd never do again—trust a man with my heart. But as he stands there, waiting patiently beside the bed, I realize that's exactly what I want to do.

I swallow hard, my throat suddenly dry. "Please don't break my heart," I whisper, the words slipping out before I can stop them.

Shane's eyes blaze with an intensity that makes my pulse race. "Never," he says fiercely. "Breaking your heart would be like breaking my own."

His words hit me like a physical force, and I feel the walls I've so carefully constructed around my heart begin to crumble. It's as if Shane has become an integral part of me, woven into the fabric of my being without me even realizing it.

When did he go from being the cocky ranch hand to being my Shane? The man I want to spend the rest of my life with, the man I'm willing to risk everything for?

I sit and pat the bed beside me, and he crawls in, pulling me into his embrace. His skin is warm against mine, and I exhale slowly, feeling a sense of rightness settle over me. This is where I belong—in his arms, safe and loved.

We sit in silence, our bodies intertwined, drawing strength from each other's presence.

"You awake?" I whisper.

He rolls over, his blue eyes meeting mine in the darkness. "Yeah."

I reach out, tracing the line of his jaw. He catches my hand, pressing a kiss to my palm.

"I miss you," I say softly.

Shane's brow furrows. "I'm right here."

I shake my head. "No, you're not. Not really."

He sighs, pulling me closer. I let him, even as part of me wants to pull away.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs against my hair. "This isn't how I wanted things to go."

I close my eyes, breathing in his scent. "I know."

We lie there in silence, the gap between us feeling wider than ever. I want to bridge it, to find my way back to the man I fell for. But I don't know how.

Shane's arms tighten around me, and I feel his lips press against the top of my head. We're lying in bed, the sheets tangled around our legs. Ashanti's sleeping in the next room, so we're keeping our voices low. It's the middle of the night, but neither of us can sleep.

There's too much to say and too many secrets to share.

"Tell me about your family," I whisper, tilting my head to look up at him. "The real story."

Shane takes a deep breath like he's steeling himself. I can feel the rise and fall of his chest.

"My family...they're not just wealthy. They're billionaires."

I blink, trying to process his words. "Billionaires? As in, multiple billions?"

Shane nods, his jaw tense. "My dad built an empire—Innoventis Defense Tech. They're one of the biggest military contractors in the country. It's his life's work, and he expects me to take over."

My mind reels as I try to wrap it around this new information. Shane—my Shane—is the heir to a billion-dollar fortune? It seems impossible, incongruous with the man I know.

But I listen as he tells me about growing up in New York, about the pressure to be perfect, to live up to his father's expectations. It's a world so far removed from anything I've ever known.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask, unable to keep the hurt from my voice.

Shane's expression softens, and he kisses my lips softly. "I wanted you to see me for who I really am, not just the family name. You've never treated me differently because of money or status. That's one of the things I love about you."

I shake my head. "You should know me better than that by now, Kennedy."

He smiles at the use of his last name when he's creeping beneath my skin. "I do know you. That's why I'm telling you this. I need you to understand what you're getting into with me."

I frown. "What do you mean?"

Shane's expression turns serious again. "My family...they're not going to let me go that easily. Especially now that I've found you."

I lean into his touch, my anger dissipating. "So why are you telling me now?"

Shane takes a deep breath. "Because I want you to know everything. No more secrets."

"And Courtney?" I ask, trying to keep the jealousy out of my voice.

Shane sighs. "An arranged marriage. Our families thought it would be good for business."

I feel a pang in my chest. "Do you love her?"

"No," Shane says firmly. "I never did. It was always just... expected."

I nod, processing this information. It's a lot to take in, and I'm not sure how I feel about it all. Part of me is angry that he kept this from me. Another part understands why he did.

"I'm always seen as Black, ballsy, and a bitch, or rather intense," I say, voicing the thoughts that have been swirling in my head. "I don't know how to be this."

Shane looks at me, confusion in his eyes. "This what?"

"What you need," I explain. "I'm not soft and dainty."

"You're not a bitch. You're direct," Shane chuckles, pulling me closer. "That's why I need you. And the other two? I'm starting to crave them."

"Crave what, Kennedy?"

"That you don't take no bullshit. And need that?"

"Bullshit?" I joke, fighting the way my heart and soul run to him without restriction.

"No, Krystal. You ."