Cowboys & Navy SEALs

Chapter 4

Chapter Four

L emon rocked back and forth on the bed, hugging her arms. It was silly, freaking out because a mother she couldn’t even remember had Alzheimer’s. The feelings had risen up like a tidal wave, consuming her. Desperation clawed at the base of her skull. It was like two parts of her brain were battling. She needed to remember who she was. Yet, every time she tried, she was filled with an inexplicable terror. A terror so black and fierce that she couldn’t face it.

She almost jumped out of her skin when a knock sounded at the door. She gulped, swiping her nose. “It’s not a good time,” she squeaked. Shame filled her. Jaxson and his dad probably thought she was a loon.

Hot prickles pinged her body. Was she a loon? Doctor Jepson had talked about how rare her condition was. People normally didn’t forget their entire identity.

She heard what sounded like knuckles rapping against the door. “It’s me,” Jaxson said. “Can we talk?”

She pushed out a heavy breath. “Yeah.” She stood. Her eyes were big and sore. She hated how lost and fragile she felt. Pausing long enough to rake a hand through her hair, she opened the door, forcing a smile. “Hey.” Jaxson was supporting his weight with his crutches. Again, she felt guilty for putting him in this situation.

“Come in.” She went to the bed and smoothed out a spot. “Sit down. Do you need any help?”

“I can manage.” He went to the bed, wincing as he collapsed onto it.

“Here, let me take these.” She reached for the crutches and propped them in the corner of the room.

“I’m so sorry,” she began, fidgeting with her hands. “For everything.”

He patted the spot beside him. “Come here.”

Her eyes widened. The thought of sitting next to Jaxson on the bed quickened her blood. He was so dang handsome. Too handsome. If she weren’t such a wreck right now, she’d be intensely attracted to Jaxson. She wondered again if the two of them had been involved. The notion sent ribbons of warmth stirring through her stomach. She traced the outline of his broad shoulders and chiseled torso. Sheesh . He was as cut as a bodybuilder. A lean, rugged bodybuilder. Jaxson was one hundred percent male—a cowboy to the core.

A grin tugged at his lips, making him look boyishly adorable. “I promise, I don’t bite.”

She giggled. “It’s not the biting that I’m worried about.”

His dark eyes smoldered with promise as they flickered over her. She wondered if he liked what he saw. She hoped so. She was in desperate need of clothes that fit, makeup, and hair products.

“Come ‘ere,” he murmured.

Heat wafted through her—a slow, delicious heat that titillated her senses. It was intoxicating, making her forget for a moment that she was a total basket case. Her breath ran faster as she went to his side and sat down. He shifted to face her. She caught the flash of pain in his eyes.

“Your ribs?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“I wish there was something I could do to help.” Her head turned back and forth. “I’m so sorry. If it hadn’t been for me—” She stopped mid-sentence when he placed a finger over her lips.

“Stop apologizing,” he murmured.

The gentle pressure of his finger drove her to distraction. She could hardly form a clear thought with him so close. This attraction was so unexpected, given her current situation. His eyes were warm and deep—the kind of eyes she’d never grow tired of looking into. Her breath caught when he touched her cheek. His thumb stroked her skin. His touch was light, exhilarating. He moved closer, his eyes going to her lips. She parted them expectantly, wondering for one wild second if he might kiss her.

Several emotions she couldn’t read flicked through his eyes, and then the moment passed. She swallowed, realizing it was for the best. She wasn’t in any shape to have a relationship. Her mouth started moving at warp speed. “I’m sorry about earlier. You know, for freaking out.” She laughed nervously. “You probably think I’m a complete moron.”

“Not a complete moron,” he joked. Laughter danced in his deep brown eyes, turning them to warm caramel.

“Hey,” she protested, nudging him. His hand moved to her hair. He stroked the length of her tresses. It felt so good and right to be here with Jaxson. As it happened the night before, she had the distinct impression of a key fitting into a lock. Did she have the courage to turn the key? No, not yet. Soon, maybe. As long as Jaxson was by her side.

“You don’t have to go through this alone. I’ll be here for as long as you need me.”

“Really?” she squeaked, tears rising to her eyes.

“Really,” he echoed firmly.

She loved the deep, confident timbre of his voice, how compassionate he was. He searched her face. The tenderness of his expression fit like a warm glove around her heart. She was having feelings for Jaxson … feelings that couldn’t have sprouted from nothing. She studied the sharp angle of his jaw, his even features. Jaxson had meant something to her at one time. She was sure of it. On the other hand, if they had been an item, then why weren’t they together now? Earlier, at the kitchen table, he said they’d been apart for years. Was that because he was married? A sudden fear stirred her breast as she glanced at his left hand. No ring, thankfully. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t involved with someone. A hot dart of jealousy ran through her as she chuckled inwardly, chiding herself. This was the worst time ever to get involved with anyone. She searched his handsome face. “Why’re you being so good to me?” People weren’t this good. No one did anything without a hidden agenda. She went cold all over as a face flashed before her eyes. A handsome face with black, cutting eyes. She shuddered.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he prompted.

“Nothing,” she said quickly, forcing a smile. “Tell me something good.”

He looked puzzled. “Huh?”

“Something good about my past.” She took in a quick breath, hoping it would help steady her erratic heartbeat. Somehow, in a way she couldn’t explain, she knew that the memories from her childhood were safe. It was the recent memories that lurked like ravenous wolves in the shadows, waiting until the flame of her resolve snuffed out long enough for them to pounce. I shouldn’t remember! Have to keep the lid on the box. She balled her hands to stay the trembling. She hoped Jaxson wouldn’t realize what little hold she had on her sanity right now. She needed a lifeline to pull her safely to shore. How easy it would be to lean on Jaxson’s strong, capable shoulders. Was it so wrong to do? If ever she needed help, it was now. Maybe she should just be grateful that he was here instead of second-guessing everything.

He pursed his lips. “Let’s see … something good.”

Something to help me take my mind off whatever terror I can’t seem to face , she added silently.

“You were a cheerleader in high school.”

“I was?”

“Yep.” He slid his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer. His touch was thrilling, igniting her cells with a firestorm of anticipation. His voice grew recollective as he chuckled. “We were quite the pair, you and me. The cheerleader and the quarterback.”

A blip of pleasure ran through her as she giggled. “The cheerleader and the quarterback,” she quipped, “sounds like some cheesy romance movie.”

“Oh, it was cheesy and romantic.”

She stiffened, giving him a questioning look. They had been a couple! The revelation pleased her immensely. Some of the heavy weight left her chest.

He forged ahead in an easy, conversational tone. “If you want a good memory, I guess I shouldn’t tell you about the times we skipped class to go to the swimming hole, or that time we got in a whole heap of trouble for tipping cows.”

Her jaw dropped as she shifted to face him. “We tipped cows?”

He removed his arm from her shoulders, laughter dancing in his eyes. “Nah, that’s a myth. Cows don’t sleep standing up. Only horses do that.”

“Whew,” she sighed in exaggeration, swiping her forehead, “that’s a relief.” She cocked her head, some sort of understanding coming back to her. “You know, I think I knew that about cows and horses.”

“Yep,” he said with a touch of admiration. “You love horses.”

“I do?”

He shrugged. “At least you used to … when we were growing up. You wanted to start a business where you used horses to help troubled kids.”

“Really?” It was good to hear that she’d been somewhat altruistic. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask Jaxson what she’d actually done career-wise, but she was too afraid of the answer. She didn’t know why, but she was.

“We did skip class to go swimming,” Jaxson continued.

Her eyebrow slid up. “Okay, we liked to swim. Good to know.” Her mind added swimming to the list of things that Lemon Massey enjoyed. It was strange and unsettling to realize that she knew nothing about herself. It was like she was a student, trying to learn about Lemon Massey using logic, while pushing aside any feelings on the subject.

“We swam a lot—” his eyes deepened to a rich chestnut color as his voice grew husky “—and we did a few other things.” He made a point of looking at her lips.

She made a gurgling noise in her throat as her eyes flew open wide. “Oh,” she uttered, color rushing to her cheeks. Her hand went up around her neck. The air was electric as her gaze settled on his lips. Would they feel firm or soft against hers? Her heart picked up its pace as she lowered her hand and instinctively moved closer. A mixture of emotions flickered over his features. “What?” she asked softly. Did she dare kiss him? Was Lemon Massey so bold? Yeah, she’d do it, she decided.

His hand moved to her hair. His touch was light. “I don’t want to take unfair advantage,” he murmured.

“Of me?” She forced a laugh. “I hardly think it would be taking advantage. After all, we’re both adults.” She wanted to be here with Jaxson. And dang it, she wanted a kiss!

“I would be taking advantage of the situation. You have no idea who you are or what even happened between us. It wouldn’t be right for me to …” His voice trailed off as he shook his head. “It just wouldn’t be right.” A steely resolve replaced his uncertainty as he removed his hand.

A gloomy disappointment descended over her. She appreciated that Jaxson was trying to protect her … even if that meant protecting her from herself. For all Lemon knew, she could be involved with someone else. Married or engaged. A snapshot of the man with ebony eyes flashed before her face. Alarm slammed against her ribcage like an iron fist. A cold sweat broke over her body. Her lungs squeezed, making it hard to breathe.

“What’s wrong?” Jaxson asked, concern touching his features.

Her throat was closing up. She swallowed, trying to force it back open. “I don’t know,” she squeaked. “One minute, I’m perfectly fine.” She coughed to clear her throat. “The next, I have this feeling of impending doom.” She shuddered. “It’s so deep and vast that I’m afraid it will consume me.” Tears rushed to her eyes.

“It’s okay,” he soothed, rubbing circles over her back. “Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.”

She did as he instructed. A few minutes later, she felt a little better. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. You’ve been through a terrible ordeal.”

A hard laugh rattled her throat. “That’s the assumption, right?” She gave him a weak smile. “We don’t actually know what happened to me.”

He rubbed her arm. “You will … eventually. When your memories return.”

She nodded. “I appreciate all that you’re doing,” she said quietly.

He switched gears. “I never did tell you a good memory.”

“That’s right.” She was grateful to have another direction in which to channel her thoughts.

“There was a guy in our class who walked with a limp. Jimmy Maloney. Kids made fun of him.”

“That’s terrible,” she grimaced with moral outrage.

He chuckled. “Yep, you thought so then too. You heard some guys making fun of him in the cafeteria—a few of the football players. Cody Kittrell started walking behind Jimmy, mimicking him. You were sitting at a table with the cheerleaders. You jumped up and tromped over to that table full of football players and gave them a tongue-lashing so severe that it curled their toenails.”

Surprised laughter rose in her throat. “You make me sound so fierce.”

“Oh, you were. You ate nails for breakfast.” His lips twitched. “Without any milk.”

She smiled. “Ha ha. Funny guy. Where’d you get those lines?”

“I might have lifted them from SpongeBob SquarePants.”

“The cartoon?”

“Yep. I’m a closet cartoon watcher.” He winked. “Don’t tell my siblings. I’d never hear the end of it.”

“Your secret’s safe with me.” She made a zipping motion over her lips. It occurred to her that she didn’t know how many siblings Jaxson had, only the ones that he’d mentioned. “So, are Zoe and Ramsey your only siblings?”

Jaxson laughed. “Not hardly. There are six of us.”

“Six?” she sputtered. “That’s a lot.”

“That’s what people tell me.” He shrugged. “For me, it’s normal.”

Her head swung back and forth. “Wow. Where do you fall in the lineup?”

“Second to the oldest. There’s Zoe, Me, Ramsey, Noah, Cash, and Mason.”

“So, you just have the one sister?”

“Yep, and she’s meaner than all the rest of the boys put together.”

Lemon looked down at her clothes. “Well, she must not be too terrible. After all, she did let me borrow her clothes.”

“Actually, Zoe’s great,” he said with a note of affection.

“She’s getting married soon, right?”

“In December. This is her second marriage. She’s finally marrying the guy she should’ve married from the get-go. Briggs is a great guy. He and Zoe were childhood sweethearts. Briggs is the ranch veterinarian.”

Lemon nodded, taking it all in.

“Zoe has two kids, a boy and girl—Milo and Madison. They all live at the ranch. Right now, Zoe and the kids are in the main ranch house.”

“That’s right. I remember you talking about that with your dad yesterday.” She glanced around. “You moved into this guesthouse to give Zoe and her kids more room.”

“Yes, that’s right. See you’re remembering already.”

She grunted. “My memory is crystal clear of the recent events. I just can’t remember anything past yesterday.”

His eyes met hers. “What’s it like?”

“What?”

“Everything you’re experiencing right now.”

She took in a breath, attempting to compose her thoughts. “It’s weird. When you mentioned SpongeBob SquarePants, I knew exactly what you were talking about. I know you’re right about me liking horses.” She bit her lower lip. “Sometimes, I’ll have whispers of memories. I know they’re trying to come back.” She hesitated. “But when I try to retrieve them, I get this horrible, black feeling.” A shiver snaked down her spine as she hugged her arms. “Whatever happened … well, I just can’t go there right now,” she uttered.

He placed his arm around her shoulders. “So, you do know that something happened to you. It’s not just an assumption.” He gave her a perceptive look.

“Yes,” she said quietly. I dreamed of stairs and a door. And there’s a man with midnight black eyes and a cruel smile. Her pulse ratcheted up. She forced herself to take a calming breath so she could continue speaking. “I know I should be asking more about who I am, what I did for a living.” She chuckled darkly. “A thousand other questions about my life.”

“But?” he prompted.

She sighed heavily. “But I can’t deal with it right now.” She turned to face him, needing him to understand where she was coming from. “I—I just can’t open that door.” Tears wet her eyes. “Not now.”

He rubbed her arms. “You don’t have to.” His soothing voice was a healing balm. “You can stay here as long as you need to … remember things on your own terms.”

“Thank you,” she uttered, tears brimming in her eyes before dribbling down her cheeks. Tenderly, he wiped them away. A petrifying thought wedged its way into her brain. It fell from her lips before she could call it back. “What if someone comes looking for me?” Her heart began to pound.

“Who?” he asked, scouring her face for any clues.

She thought of the man. A handsome, influential man. He was cold, ruthless. “I—I don’t know,” she stammered. “People will know that I’m missing, won’t they?”

“It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours since the accident. People may not realize yet that you’re gone.”

She nodded, a swift relief flowing through her. “That’s true.” She tensed right back up, thinking of something else. “What we don’t know is when I lost my memory. It could have been several days or weeks before the accident. After all, I was just wandering the road. I’m glad the police have my purse, but I still don’t know why I didn’t have a phone. The whole thing is a blank.”

“Speaking of your purse, we need to go to the station and get it.”

“Can you even drive right now?”

“Yeah, I think I can manage.”

“I’ll drive us there,” she inserted. “If we happen to get pulled over, I’ll just tell the officer that my license is at the station.”

He grinned. “That’ll work.”

“Do you care if we go somewhere and get me some new clothes?” She made a face. “Not that I don’t appreciate these.” She tugged on the hem of her shirt.

“I have just the place. My mama owns a dress shop in town.”

“Really?” She liked Birdie Romeo. She’d been so kind at the hospital.

He nodded. “Zoe has an art gallery a few doors down. We can pop in and say hello to her. We could stop and grab lunch … make a day of it.”

“That sounds great.” It was nice to have some immediate plans, something to occupy her mind.

“Lemon,” he prompted gently, “do you know who you’re afraid of?”

Just like that, her heart squeezed like it was caught in a vise-grip. Jaxson’s eyes were compassionate, searching. It was so tempting to tell him what little she knew. Even as the thought ran through her mind, her insides shriveled. No, she couldn’t tell Jaxson about the man or the dream. She had to protect him and his family. How she knew this, she had no idea. But the knowledge flowed through her all the same. It was so sure and fierce that it nearly stole her breath away.

He cupped her cheeks with both hands. Her skin thrilled under his touch. “I promise you that I’ll be right by your side the whole time. You don’t have to be afraid.”

“Thank you,” she smiled, tears pressing against her eyes. She swallowed them down, not wanting to be a total blubbering mess. She had to pull herself together. She searched his eyes. “We were a couple, weren’t we?”

He blinked a couple of times. She could see his hesitation, could tell he was wondering how much to share. “Yes,” he answered softly.

“Do I dare ask what happened to bust us up?”

Pain streaked through his eyes as he lowered his hands.

“Scratch that question,” she said quickly. “I don’t wanna know. I’ll just deal with whatever it was when my memories come back.” If my memories come back.

He looked relieved.

“I do need to ask you one more question though.”

“Okay, shoot.”

She got the feeling that he was bracing himself for whatever she would ask. “Are you involved with anyone?”

A large grin filled his face. “Nope.”

She didn’t try to hide the smile that overtook her face. “That’s good to know.”

He lifted an eyebrow, a partially amused expression flitting over his features. “Oh, yeah? Why’s that?”

She knew she was being reckless … knew this could end badly. But the temptation was too great to ignore. “No one will mind if I do this.” Her heart felt like it would explode with anticipation as she leaned forward and brushed her lips against his with a teasing feather lightness. Sparks tingled through her mouth, pushing currents of desire through her veins. She felt his surprise as her mouth moved against his in gentle persuasion. Her emotions skidded and whirled like jubilant leaves caught up in the rush of the wind. The faint taste of orange juice was intertwined with his own distinct masculine scent. Her hand slid around his neck as she pulled him closer, her lips growing more insistent. Her spirit soared high on wings of fire, sending a tumult of emotions pulsing through her. She’d no doubt kissed before. She had no way of knowing how this kiss compared to the rest, but she didn’t see how it could get any better than this. The completeness of the experience was only matched by the exhilaration.

When she pulled back, she caught a flicker of amusement in Jaxson’s chocolate eyes. She tensed. Was he laughing at her? Seriously? She’d gone out on a limb here and didn’t appreciate being made fun of. “What?” she demanded, a hot shame covering her.

“That was pretty good,” he said lightly. There was a look of superiority on his handsome face.

Her eyes trailed down to the dimple in his chin. “Pretty good?” she scoffed, irritation swarming like hornets inside her. From now on, she’d make sure to keep her distance from Jaxson Romeo. He thought he was the greatest thing on the planet. Probably had legions of women falling at his feet, and she’d just added herself to the list. Not her smartest move.

He shrugged, a boyish grin tugging at his lips. “Yeah.”

Her eyes narrowed. “You think you can do better?” The nerve!

“I guess there’s only one way to find out.” His eyes deepened with intensity as they moved over her face, thoroughly and completely like he was memorizing her every feature. How was it possible for him to thrill her so? Her angst fled in an instant, and all she could think about was that it was heaven to be looked at like this. Her lips parted as she tilted her mouth to his. She didn’t dare breathe for fear of breaking the spell. He kissed the tip of her nose before moving to her lips. Deliberately, he kissed one corner and then the other. Time seemed to stand still as she waited for the rest.

He slid his hand around her neck and pulled her to him, his lips crushing hers. She trembled under the masterful forcefulness of those magnificent lips. He kissed her until she thought she’d go mad with desire. She wanted to fling her arms around his neck and draw him closer, but then she remembered about his ribs and didn’t want to hurt him. He pulled back. “Well?” he asked with a smirk.

“It was okay,” she shrugged, “for an amateur.” Her palms were resting against his rock-hard torso. Sheesh . He was cut.

His rich laughter was as surprising as it was spontaneous. “You haven’t changed a bit.”

“Is that a compliment or an insult?” she retorted.

A crooked grin pulled at his lips. “I’ll let you decide.”

Warmth rose in her cheeks. “Were our kisses always like that?” He’d lit her on fire. Lemon wasn’t sure what the future held, how things would look when she regained her memories. But she imagined that she’d always want and need Jaxson in her life.

His eyebrow went up. “Like what?” he asked innocently.

A grin tugged at her lips. She liked it when he teased her. “Oh, you know … dull … boring.” She faked a yawn. “A sleeper.”

He laughed. “Yep, that’s how it always was.”

Her hands moved over his smooth chest muscles. She caught the flicker of desire in his eyes, could tell that he was as attracted to her as she was to him. It gave her a blitz of satisfaction.

“We should never do it again.” His eyes went to her lips.

Her breath ran faster. “Never,” she uttered as his lips took hers.