Cowboys & Navy SEALs

Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

A ddie rubbed an appreciative hand over the vanilla leather upholstery on the plush seat as her gaze trailed over the patterned, monochromatic carpet and glossy, mid-toned wood accents of the sleek private jet. Maddox was sitting across from her, a small table separating them. She reached for her glass of ginger ale and stirred her straw through the ice before taking a drink. Had they not been traveling to New Jersey to question the man who most likely killed Jordan, Addie might’ve thought she was in a dream. Working for Sutton certainly had its perks.

She placed her drink back on the table and sat back in her seat, pulling a travel magazine from a nearby rack. She spread it over her lap to appear as though she were reading it, while surreptitiously glancing at Maddox. He was staring out the window as if lost in thought. She smiled inwardly at his unruly curls that went in all directions. A lock fell over one eyebrow, giving him an adventurous, boyish look. Mentally, she circled a dot on the spot on his cheek where his dimple appeared when he smiled. She allowed herself one glance at his muscular biceps before her eyes swept to his torso. His t-shirt formed to the definition of his pecs and flat abdomen.

Heat simmered through her as she looked at the clean lines of his chiseled jaw. Then her eyes settled on his lips, remembering the burn of them against her own. She felt a smidgen of guilt for slapping him. Mostly, it was a knee-jerk reaction when she realized that she’d let her guard down, once again, and was kissing him with reckless abandon that would’ve made Madonna blush. Geez. Did she have no self-restraint whatsoever where Maddox was concerned? She knew he had a girlfriend, meaning that she’d been relegated to the role of the “other woman.” When Maddox was kissing her, that meant he was two-timing Felicity.

Maddox felt her gaze and gave her a slow, leisurely smile that unleashed butterflies in her stomach. She was hyper aware that the only other person on the plane, besides the two of them, was the pilot. Dang Maddox! All he had to do was smile and she turned to a puddle of mush. This had to stop! She took a deep breath, mustering up her resolve. It was time to talk turkey.

“How ya doing?” Maddox asked.

“Okay.” She homed in on him with a laser focus. “You were going to tell me about your thing with Felicity.” She didn’t try to hide the accusation in her voice. It was the make-or-break moment in the game when all gloves were off.

He scratched his forehead. “Um, yeah.” He motioned at the sofa to their right. “Shall we?”

Her pulse bumped up a few notches. The idea of sitting beside Maddox in a private jet was the stuff dreams were made of. Him having another woman—the stuff of nightmares. She frowned, a thundercloud of irritation rolling over her. “I’m fine where I am.”

He stood and came around the table. “Come on.” He reached for her hand.

She tried to jerk it away, but he held on tight. Her eyebrow shot up as she gave him a questioning look.

“Come on,” he urged. “I don’t bite.”

“It’s not biting that I’m worried about,” she retorted.

He pulled her to her feet and to the sofa. She gave him a hard look. “I’m only going along with this because I want to give you the benefit of the doubt. I figure I owe you that much for protecting me.”

An amused grin slid over his lips. “That’s mighty noble of you, Adelaide Spencer.”

The taunting edge in his voice came at her like a thousand needles pricking her all at once. “You think this is funny?” She gritted her teeth. “I don’t appreciate being made a fool of.”

Concern filled his eyes, all joking vanishing in an instant. “What’re you talking about?”

She balled her fist. “You have no right to kiss me the way you did when you have a girlfriend.”

He rubbed his neck, blowing out a long breath. “It sounds like my thing with Felicity’s getting under your skin.”

She rocked back, hardly believing the words that had come out of his mouth. “Now you’re taunting me about it?” The nerve! Heat burned up her neck, making her feel like her head would explode as she jumped up. “You think this is all a big joke?”

He sprang to his feet. “No, I don’t think it’s a joke.” His jaw tensed. “I didn’t think it was a joke when you dumped me.”

“Well, you couldn’t have taken it too hard because you found another woman a day later!”

“Sit down, so we can talk about this like rational adults.”

She slung back her head as she barked out a laugh. “Ha! You would pull the adult card!”

“Addie, sit down, please.”

They stood there eyeing one another until finally Addie sat back down, mostly because she had no place else to go. “I’m listening,” she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

Maddox rubbed his jaw, laughing humorlessly. “I don’t understand you, Addie. You’re acting like you’re the one who was wronged, when you’re the one who broke up with me.”

She tried to interject a comment, but he held up a hand. “Let me finish.”

She clamped her lips shut, glaring at him.

“You act like I’m the only one who found someone else, but that’s not true.”

“I don’t have anyone else,” she countered, her voice escalating.

His eyes burned into hers. “You sure about that?”

“Of course!” Had he lost his freaking mind?

“Can you sit there and honestly tell me that you haven’t gone on any dates in the past few weeks?”

She went hot all over, then stone cold.

“Yep, just as I thought,” he said, giving her a vindicated look.

“T—that’s not fair,” she sputtered. “Going on a few dates is not the same as going steady.” The need to defend herself was all-consuming. Her throat went impossibly small as she swallowed.

The hurt in his eyes darkened them to indigo, his voice taking on a musing tone. “Let’s see if I can paint a picture for you. You’re standing in the resort. Your curls piled high on your head, sporting that green dress I got you for your birthday—the one that hugs your figure in all the right places. Your long legs showcased in sleek, high heels.” His jaw hardened, eyes searing into her soul. “A guy approaches. Hands you roses. Leans in and says something. You laugh and look at him with moon eyes.” Disgust coated his voice. “Need I continue?”

Her lungs shriveled to the size of Tic Tacs, and she had the feeling of tumbling off a cliff into thin air. Somehow, she managed to find her voice. “There’s no way you could know that unless?—”

“I came to see you?” Condemnation burned in his eyes. His voice took on a reflective quality. “Two days after I got back to the states, despite the fact that you dumped me, I came.”

Guilt gnawed at her gut as her mind whirled like a tornado. “I thought you were dead.”

His voice was as unyielding as the packed snow on the Black Diamond ski trail in February. “No, by that time, I’m pretty sure word had gotten out that I was still alive.”

She shook her head, trying to explain. “Yes, I know. But before that, I thought you were dead. Sadie, my assistant?—”

“I know who Sadie is,” he cut in. His voice was frigid, exact. “I met her today, remember?”

“Quit interrupting me!” she sneered, jerking a hand through her hair. “I’m trying to tell you why I was on a date.”

His eyes glittered with a hard amusement as he sat back and folded his arms over his chest. “I’m listening.”

She drew in a breath, her chin going high as she pushed out the words. “Sadie, whom you met—” she enunciated the words, giving him a scathing look— “was worried about me. She set me up on a date with her cousin. The date had been set for a few weeks by the time I realized you were still alive.” She sighed heavily, throwing her hands up in the air. “Anyway, I don’t know why I’m trying to explain myself to you. We weren’t a couple then.”

“Exactly. Meaning you have no right to keep throwing Felicity in my face.” He smirked. “Not to sound like a broken record, but you dumped me, remember?”

Her stomach hardened with the gloom of that knowledge. “Yes, I did,” she said quietly. Because you’re a coward! her mind screamed. “It was the biggest mistake of my life,” she uttered.

He cocked an ear. “I’m sorry? I didn’t catch that.”

“Never mind,” she mumbled, waving a hand. Maddox had come back for her! She felt the ridiculous urge to jump up and pump a fist in the air. He’d come for her and saw her with another man. The one time she went on a date and Maddox happened to stop by at the same time. Cruel, stupid, idiotic fate! She looked at him, her eyes lingering on the lines of frustration carved over his features. A smile tugged at her lips. “For the record, my date that night was a total disaster.”

He flinched in surprise. Then, a smile pulled at his lips, giving her a glimpse of those adorable dimples. “I’m glad.”

Time seemed to stand still as warmth spread through her. She felt such a deep connection to Maddox that, for a split second, she could almost believe the two of them had never been apart.

But they had been apart. They were still apart.

She frowned. “I felt you there. I went to find you and came across the yellow calla lilies. Why did you leave without saying anything to me?” A lump of emotion lodged thick in her throat. “I thought I was imagining things, that the calla lilies were a cruel coincidence.” She hesitated. “I assumed that because I’d broken it off you didn’t want anything else to do with me.” Her eyes misted as she gave him a wan smile.

He placed a hand over hers. “Nothing could be further from the truth.” He exhaled a long breath, his eyes going murky. “The truth is, I was a mess at that time—inside and out.” He chuckled dryly. “I looked like a half-starved, yard chicken.”

“From your imprisonment and torture in Syria,” she uttered, the horror of it causing a shiver to slither down her spine. She couldn’t imagine what Maddox had been through.

“Yes.” He paused, swallowing. “When I saw you with that other guy…” His voice hardened as he released her hand. “I wanted to rip him apart limb by limb.”

She flinched, the darkness in him scaring her a little. There it was—the undercurrent that Maddox managed to keep hidden most of the time with his charm and wit. Still, it was there. Could she live with that? The dark side of things Maddox dealt with on a daily basis?

He forced a smile. “I figured it was better for both of us if I left. In retrospect, us being apart was a good thing. It gave me space to sort things out.”

She gave him an intense look. “And have you? Sorted things out?”

He looked surprised. “Yeah, I mean, I’m working on it.” He grinned, becoming his charming self once more. “I’m like the Sistine Chapel, a work in progress,” he teased.

Addie wasn’t ready for him to get playful. She needed more answers, needed to understand the man he truly was. “So, after you saw me with my date, you high-tailed it to San Diego?”

Wariness seeped into his eyes. “Yes.”

She leaned forward. “When did you start dating Felicity? The day you got back?” She cringed inwardly at the jealousy in her voice. Even to herself, her feelings weren’t making sense. One second, she thought she could never be with Maddox. The next, she was irate because he’d found another woman. Maybe she was the one who needed counseling!

He rubbed his neck, a nervous laugh escaping his lips. Then he gave her a perceptive look, his eyes sparkling with laughter. “It really sticks in your craw that I’m with Felicity.”

The taunting edge in his voice made her want to slap him. She drew back. “On the contrary. I don’t give a flying flip who you date. Like I said this morning, I feel sorry for her,” she sniffed.

The corners of his lips pulled down. “I’m glad you brought that up. I wanted to ask you about that.” He scooted close and leaned in, closing the space between them. “What do you mean? Why on earth would you feel sorry for Felicity?” His eyes moved over hers in that leisurely way that made her blood pump faster. He was so close she could feel his warm breath on her face. Her breath caught when he trailed a finger down her cheek.

“Maddox,” she protested.

“Huh?” His finger moved to her neck. With tantalizing lightness, he skimmed her collarbone lingering on the throbbing indention at the base of her throat. Then he wrapped a finger around one of her curls.

He brushed her lips with his. “What do you mean?” he implored.

Delicious tingles circled down her spine. Geez . How was she supposed to think clearly with him this close?

“Because …”

He kissed the side of her mouth. “Hmm?” he murmured, his lips moving to her ear.

She closed her eyes, anticipation singing through her veins, as he trailed a string of soft, shivery kisses down her neck.

All Addie could think about was Maddox and how he consumed her heart and soul. Finally, she couldn’t stand it any longer. She took his face in her hands and pulled him closer. When their lips connected, fire leapt through her veins and sizzled through her with a tantalizing persuasion that zapped her strength, melting her to him. Her heart soared infinitely higher than the altitude they were flying as his lips explored hers. His hands tumbled through her hair with an eager intensity that left her breathless.

When the kiss was over, he pulled back, giving her a quirky grin. “You were saying about Felicity?”

The comment was a frigid splash of water dashing all residual desire as she stiffened. “You’re such a jerk.” She moved to get away from him, but he caught her arm.

“You love me and you know it,” he laughed.

Yes, she did love him, but a thousand armies couldn’t drag it out of her. Her eyebrow shot up. “You certainly have a high opinion of yourself, Bama boy.” No one could rile her faster than Maddox. She stopped, a thought occurring to her. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“The kiss? Yes, I enjoyed it very much.” His eyes danced. Lightly, he fingered a tendril of her hair. “Thanks for initiating it … again.”

Her eyes rounded as she lightly slapped his arm. “I’m such an idiot,” she groaned. “I promised myself that I wouldn’t kiss you again.” Her brows furrowed. “Not while you’re with her ,” she spat.

He laughed. “Felicity?”

“Yes.” Addie scooted back and clamped her arms over her chest. “You shouldn’t be kissing me either. Unless you enjoy being a two-timing snake.”

A deep, warm bubble of laughter left his throat. “You’re really cute when you’re jealous,” he teased.

She flinched. “I’m not jealous,” she countered. “Just concerned about your behavior towards Felicity.” Even as the words left her mouth, she felt like an idiot. Concerned about his behavior towards Felicity. Really?

He brought his lips together and held up a finger, his voice holding a hint of mockery. “It’s nice of you to be so concerned about a woman you’ve never met.”

“Yeah, I’m altruistic that way. Just call me Mother Teresa,” she quipped.

He gave her a boyish grin that turned her insides to warm caramel. She couldn’t help but smile back. She straightened her shoulders, pulling in a breath. “Okay, are you going to tell me about your thing with Felicity? When you started dating her? How serious it is?” Her heart tightened a little at that. She couldn’t stand the thought of Maddox being with another woman.

“All right. I’ll tell you what you want to know. But first, you’ve gotta tell me why you feel sorry for Felicity.”

There was no way around it. The elephant in the room was always there. She might as well get it in the open. “Fine, but you go first.” She eyed him, daring him to disagree.

He rubbed his neck. “I started dating Felicity as sort of a rebound thing.” He gave her a sharp look. “I’m sure I don’t have to spell it out for you. Some curly haired vixen broke my heart.”

She shifted, giving him a nervous laugh. “Hah! With hair like yours I don’t think I’d be talking about mine.”

He pumped his eyebrows. “Think of the kids we’d have together—all that hair. Maybe I’d better call my broker and order stock in a gel company.”

Heat crept up her neck as she giggled. “Stop with the side notes and get on with the story already.”

“Hold your horses, woman,” he drawled. “I’m working my way into it.”

She chuckled, tucking her leg underneath her. “What does that expression even mean? What type of horses do you have?”

He flexed his bicep. “Clydesdales, of course.”

Yeah, his muscles were impressive. Too impressive. She forced her eyes to his face, grunting. “More like Shetland ponies.”

He burst out laughing. “That was good,” he said admiringly, sending a warm glow over her.

She made a circular motion with her hand. “Back to the story.”

He sighed. “Oh, yeah. Let’s see … I was talking about my broken heart.” His face pulled down in mock sadness. “It was terrible. I couldn’t eat. Couldn’t sleep. I wandered the streets, barefoot in ragged clothes, searching for my purpose. Trying to figure out how I could possibly forget about the green-eyed, curly haired vixen who’d bewitched me.”

She rolled her eyes. “All right. I get the point.” Secretly, however, she enjoyed the thought of him pining away for her. She’d certainly done her share of pining away for him.

“Anyway, I met this girl who lives in my condo complex. She seemed nice enough, so we started going out.”

He said it casually like he was discussing the weather. She leaned forward, her heart picking up its beat. “How serious is it?”

Time seemed to stop as his eyes held hers. “Do you really have to ask after our kisses?”

An inexplicable feeling of joy rose in her chest, a stupid grin spilling over her lips. “So, you’re not serious,” she said, stating the obvious.

“There’s only one woman who has claim to my heart.” His expression grew serious. “The question is—what will she do with it?”

She saw the cautious hope in his eyes and wanted more than anything to tell him that she could be the woman he needed her to be. She wanted to be brave, to love him fiercely in the moment. She wanted to come to terms with the high risk of losing him to the constant danger of his job.

How? How could she do it? Thinking he was dead nearly did her in, and that was after they’d broken up. Didn’t she tell herself then that not having him in her life was worse than living with the constant fear of losing him? Now that the moment was upon her, however, she was torn and confused. She clasped her hands tightly in her lap, trying to make herself small.

“Addie?” He caressed her hair, a sad smile touching his lips. “You wouldn’t make a good poker player. Why do you feel sorry for Felicity?” he asked quietly, even though she could tell he already knew the answer.

“Do you want me to say it out loud?” Her heart ached. “I love you,” she admitted. A tear rolled down her cheek. “I never stopped loving you.”

Lightly, he brushed the tear away, his thumb lingering on her cheek.

“I wish I could tell you that I could be that woman, the one who will stand by your side—” her voice choked “—the woman who will give her whole heart, not knowing if you’ll come back when you walk out the door in the morning.” She gave him a pleading look. “The truth is, I’m not sure that I can.” Panic fluttered in her stomach when she saw his anguished expression.

“We’re back to square one, huh?”

The hurt and accusation in his tone tore at her heart.

Her voice went hoarse. “I don’t know what else to tell you. I’m just trying to be honest about my feelings.”

He nodded, his lips clamping into a thin line. “I appreciate your honesty,” he clipped.

She could feel a wall going up between them.

“I’m so sorry,” she uttered, jumping to her feet and rushing to the bathroom before he could see her lose it.