Cowboys & Navy SEALs

Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

“ O kay, what’s going on?” Delaney asked when it was just the two of them.

Addie let out a long sigh, shifting in her seat. “Oh, you know. Life.”

Delaney laughed. “Yep, it can be a real kick in the pants sometimes, huh?”

A giggle gurgled in Addie’s throat. Man, she liked Delaney—how real and down to earth she was, calling it like it is. “Yes, it can be.”

“I’m glad you’ve been safe. Corbin and I’ve been worried about you.”

Guilt soured her stomach. “With all you’ve had going on, I’m sorry I added to your stress.”

She waved the comment away with a flick of her wrist. “That’s what family’s for.”

A wave of tenderness went through Addie. “Corbin and I may give each other grief,” her voice caught, “but I’m so grateful for him. I don’t know what I would’ve done if he hadn’t stepped in to help during all this.”

“He only wished that he could be there himself.” Delaney gave her a perceptive look. “Knowing he couldn’t, he sent the next best man to do the job—someone who loves you as much as Corbin.”

Addie choked out a strangled cough.

Delaney smiled. “You’ve got it bad for Maddox, don’t you?”

It was on the tip of Addie’s tongue to deny it sheerly out of spite, but she knew the answer was written all over her face. “Yes,” she admitted, “I’m in love with him.” It felt good to say the words out loud.

“Okay, you love him. From what Corbin says, Maddox is madly in love with you. What’s the problem?”

Tears gathered in Addie’s eyes. “Everything.” She clenched her fists. “How do you do it?”

“What?” Delaney frowned.

The intensity of her feelings shook her body as she rattled out the words. “You and Corbin have a baby together. How do you live each day, not knowing for sure when he walks out the door to some dangerous situation that he’ll come back?” She looked at Delaney, desperation clawing at her. She needed reassurance, something she could hang onto.

Understanding seeped over Delaney’s features. “I don’t,” she said simply.

Addie’s heart dropped through her chest and spilled onto the floor in a tattered heap. “That’s what I was afraid of,” she said hoarsely, looking down at the bed.

Delaney reached for her hand. “Addie, look at me,” she commanded.

Despite her best effort to hold them back, tears dribbled down Addie’s cheeks. “I’m sorry,” she muttered, “you must think I’m a complete idiot.” She gritted her teeth, hating herself right now. She hated her fear, hated her weakness. And hated that she couldn’t be more like Delaney.

“No, I don’t think you’re an idiot at all. Of course I worry about Corbin. I’d be stupid not to.” She paused. “The thought of losing Corbin tears me up inside. Don’t you see? None of us has any guarantees. Any of our lives could end tomorrow—today, including yours, Addie.”

“Yeah, believe me,” she chuckled darkly. “I’ve got that reality cemented in my brain after Jordan’s death.”

A shadow crossed Delaney’s features. “As you know, my growing up years were rough. Before I met Corbin, I feared I was so damaged by my past that I’d never be able to love anyone again.” Her eyes misted. “I was at my lowest when Corbin entered my life. Not only did he save me physically, but also emotionally. My life started anew when I met Corbin.” A tender smile curved her lips. “Then I met Wallace, you, and now we have Hope.”

Delaney’s eyes held such wisdom that Addie felt like she was seeing into her soul.

“Yes, Corbin and Maddox have dangerous jobs.” Delaney let out a sardonic laugh. “Life is dangerous.”

“Amen,” Addie quipped.

“You can’t spend your life mourning the hypothetical. You need to learn to be happy in the moment, for those moments are the stuff life is made of.”

Addie jerked, remembering the card on her refrigerator. “What did you say?”

“You need to learn to be happy. Trust Maddox. Trust yourself.”

Be happy . It always came back to that. “I don’t know if I can do it,” she lamented. “I’m not brave like you. I can’t knowingly enter into a relationship that’s so risky.” She shuddered. “As much as I want to, I just don’t think I can go there.”

Delaney gave her a wise smile. “That’s just it, Addie. You keep talking about your relationship with Maddox as if it’s something that’s going to happen in the future. The truth is you’re already there.”

“Huh?”

“You’re in love with Maddox.”

“Yes,” she said, feeling like she was stepping into a trap.

“It has already happened. You’re in a relationship with him now. You keep questioning if you’re brave enough to handle whatever may come—dreaming up all types of scenarios in which you lose. We have a saying for that in the South. It’s called borrowing trouble.” She gave her a pointed look. “Stop borrowing trouble.” She shrugged. “So you’re afraid? Big whoop. We’re all afraid.” Her voice quivered with intensity. “Do you not think I was scared out of my mind to give birth to Hope? I was a high-risk pregnancy.” Her eyes softened. “No amount of fear could compare with the joy I felt when I held my little girl in my arms for the first time. The bravest of heroes are scared. They push forward into action, leaving the fear behind. Then comes the victory.” She gave Addie a pointed look. “Are you happy without Maddox in your life?”

“No, I’m absolutely miserable,” she muttered.

“You can’t imagine your life without him, right?”

“Right.”

She smiled. “There you go. That’s your answer.”

There was a knock at the door. They turned as a nurse entered the room, holding Hope in her arms.

A sense of awe came over Addie as she looked at the red-faced bundle, swaddled in a pink blanket. She stood and scooted her chair back. “She’s beautiful,” she uttered, looking at Hope’s squinty, determined face. She was unprepared for the swift feeling of love that rushed through her.

Hope went stiff, belting out a whiny cry.

“She’s hungry is what she is,” the nurse said with a laugh. “You should probably sanitize your hands before you take her.”

“Of course. Would you hand me that?” Delaney asked, pointing at a bottle of hand sanitizer on the nearby table. When Addie gave it to her, Delaney liberally rubbed the solution over her hands, up to her elbows. Meanwhile, Hope’s cries became more insistent. Delaney held out her hands as the nurse placed Hope in her arms.

“There,” Delaney said soothingly as she held her against her chest. Gently, she rubbed a finger across Hope’s cheek. Hope turned her mouth to Delaney’s finger, the rooting instinct taking over as she sucked Delaney’s finger.

“Look at that,” the nurse cooed in delight. “Preemies normally have a hard time learning to suck, but Hope’s catching on fast. I’ll be right back with the bottle of breast milk that you pumped earlier.” She turned, walking briskly out of the room.

It was amazing how natural the instinct of motherhood seemed to come to Delaney as she rocked Hope, making shushing sounds to calm her. Addie had the feeling of witnessing utter perfection.

Delaney seemed to be reading Addie’s thoughts as she looked up and flashed an unencumbered smile so joyous it brought tears to Addie’s eyes.

Be happy. The words swirled through Addie’s mind, finding their place in her heart. Just like that, the muddy water cleared. She laughed inwardly. She’d been borrowing trouble for a long time. When real trouble came knocking, Maddox was there for her. Delaney was right. It was time to stop mourning the hypothetical. As much as she wanted to stay here with Delaney and Hope, she needed to find Maddox. “I have to go.”

“You’ve got this,” Delaney said, giving her a reassuring nod.

She touched Delaney’s arm. “Thank you.”

A smile ruffled Delaney’s lips. “You bet. That’s what family’s for.”

When Addie got to the door, she paused for one last look at Delaney, who was peering down at Hope, totally consumed in the softness and wonder of her new baby.

“One of those perfect moments that life is made of,” she uttered softly, gently closing the door behind her.

Addie found Corbin and Pops standing in the hall. “Where’s Maddox?”

“He went home,” Corbin answered.

The words came at her like an invisible punch to the stomach. Her hand went to her throat. “He left? Without telling me goodbye?”

Corbin gave her a funny look. “Just to get some rest. He said he’d come back in the morning to check on you and see Hope.”

“Seeing as how you treated him earlier, he probably thinks you don’t want anything to do with him,” Pops added, reproof sounding in his voice.

“We hope to have information soon on Brent Barrett,” Corbin said. “Then we’ll know for sure if the threat against you is over.”

Meaning Maddox would then go onto his next assignment, she thought glumly. For an instant, the old familiar despair settled over her like a boulder around her neck. No! She straightened her shoulders. She couldn’t lose Maddox again. She held out her hand to Corbin. “I need your car keys.”

His eyes rounded. “What?”

“I’m going to talk to Maddox. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

“Do you even remember where he lives?” Corbin asked, looking at her like she’d grown another head.

“I can figure it out,” she snapped.

Corbin gave her a probing look. “What’s this about, Addie?”

She lifted her chin. “None of your business.”

A new light came into Corbin’s eyes, a smile tugging at his lips. “You’re going after him, aren’t you? That little heart-to-heart with Delaney must’ve done you good,” he taunted. He wiggled his eyebrows. “Addie’s in love.”

Heat crawled up her neck as she shoved him. “You’re such an idiot,” she growled.

Pops gave Corbin a warning look. “Stop teasing her.” His eyes smiled. “Time to finally come out from underneath that tree, huh, Squirt?”

“What?” Corbin asked dubiously.

Addie rolled her eyes. “Never mind. Your pea-sized brain’s not big enough to comprehend it, even if I explained it to you.”

Corbin shook his head and chuckled. “I can tell you one thing—Maddox has got to be one tough cookie to put up with you. Or a long-suffering sucker.”

She was about to tell him off, then saw the laughter in his eyes. He tipped a smile. “Love you, sis.”

“I love you too,” she admitted. She held out her hand, eyeing him. “The keys please?”

“Go ahead and give them to her,” Pops urged, “before she changes her mind.”

A laugh rumbled in Addie’s throat. “I’m not changing my mind.” She lifted her chin. “Not this time.”

“If I give you my keys, we’ll be stuck here,” Corbin lamented.

Pops chuckled. “What’re you talking about? You haven’t left here for days. A few more hours won’t hurt you.”

Addie leaned forward, sniffing. “I thought I smelled something.”

“Hey,” Corbin protested.

When Pops gave him the look , he sighed. “Fine. But don’t be gone too long. And whatever you do, be careful with the Lexus. Delaney’s particular about her car.”

She laughed, rolling her eyes. “Delaney’s particular? More like you are. Don’t worry. I’ll be careful,” she chimed. When she got a few steps away from them, she turned. “Hey, would you be a good boy and text me Maddox’s address?”

“Ah-ha! I knew you couldn’t remember how to get there.” He smirked. “You can’t find your way out of a bathtub.”

It was true. She was terrible at directions. “Oh, put a cork in it.” She stuck her tongue out at him. “I need it for backup, just in case.” She turned to rush away.

“Hey, Addie.”

She stopped and glanced back over her shoulder. “Huh?”

“Good luck.” Corbin gave her a genuine smile. “You’ve got this.”

Those were the same words Delaney had used. They had the power to melt her heart as she returned his smile, realizing in that moment how much she truly loved her big brother. “Thank you.”

Anticipation licked through her veins. Delaney and Corbin were right. She had this! For the first time in a long time, she felt like she was running to something instead of running from it. She smiled a little, remembering how those were Maddox’s words about joining the SEALs.

She quickened her pace, anxious to get to Maddox as soon as possible.