Crave (Beneath The Secrets #3)

34. Alexei

CHAPTER 34

ALEXEI

Song, What If I Told You That I Love You, Ali Gatie.

Taking a spot in my nightly viewing area, I can get glimpses of my girl in the window, and watch out for any intruders.

Once she’s asleep, I’ll go in and check on her.

It’s not enough to stand in the shadows, I need more of her.

Unwrapping a lollipop, I shove the wrapper in my jeans pocket and sit back on the bench. She looks tired today. She’s been restless in her sleep, so maybe that’s why.

I look on as she empties the dishwasher, but then my phone starts vibrating in my pocket. Digging it out, her name flashes up on the screen and my heart does that jumpy thing.

“I missed your voice,” I greet her before she can even say hello. I don’t even know why I blurt that out.

She giggles. “Me too.”

It’s followed by a long sigh which wipes my smile.

“Are you okay?” I press her.

“Yea. Well, no. I don’t know. I keep being told I’m wrong, but I thought that you’d understand me. I think someone is watching me. But, I don’t know if I’m just a bit fucked up from the kidnapping. Maybe?”

“What do you mean ‘watched’?”

I’m always looking out for her, more so recently, I can’t risk her being taken again. I would have seen if there was someone lurking around, risking her safety.

“Like, stalked,” she says in a hushed tone.

Jumping up from her yard furniture and pace around the front of the house, making sure I’m tight to the hedgerow so I don’t trigger the security lights.

The last thing I want to do is to scare her.

“I would know if someone was stalking you, Lara. But, I’ll check it out.”

As I round the house to the front, I stand and listen, nothing. No movement, no cars.

“Thanks, Alexei.” The panic in her voice has subsided.

“Can I kill them if I do find them? You want me to bring you their head, or…?”

She lets out another small laugh and my heart races.

That is all I need to do. Make her smile, make her worries go away. If she‘s happy, I am too.

“I think it would be more Volkov style to cut the balls off first.” she says almost seriously.

I instinctively rub my own through my jeans. Getting my dick pierced hurt enough, having my nuts carved would be worse than death.

“You’re one mean woman, Lara. But for you, I will deliver stalker balls.” I know she can’t see me, but I cover my heart in a solemn oath.

“Is there anything you wouldn’t do for me?” she asks softly.

I don’t hesitate in my answer. “Nothing, Lara. There is not one single thing you could ask of me that I wouldn’t do…” I pause. “Except to not be in your life.”

“Neither of us would ever let that happen.”

I hear her sigh and want to break the door down and get to her, wrap her in my arms and kiss her again.

It plays in a loop in my head over and over.

The memory makes my dick twinge and that’s bad.

Nikolai and Mikhail would kill me if I went there again. Yet, every time I smell her Chanel perfume, or she smiles at me, all I can picture is bending her over and sinking inside her.

I’ve never done any of that before, but I think about it often with Lara. It’s always her.

I bet her pussy tastes even sweeter than her lips, and her moans are as incredible as the sound of her laughter.

Seeing her naked would ruin me.

There will never be another, nor has there ever been. My life is dedicated to one woman only.

“But, Alexei?” Her soft voice pulls me out of the porn scene I have going on in my head that’s making my dick piercing hit against my zipper.

“Yes, pchelka?”

“We haven’t been the same since the, you know.”

“Kiss.” I finish her sentence.

“Nothing has changed.” I rub my palms against my jeans. Fuck, have I upset her?

“You don’t come over anymore, I’ve barely seen you on your own. I feel like I’m losing you and I can’t.” She hiccups and that’s it.

I knock on her door. “Open up.”

I cut the call and shoot a quick and simple message to Enzo.

ME

I need security cameras tomorrow.

He replies instantly.

Enzo

Tell me why first.

I roll my eyes. I’m not as stupid as they all think.

ME

Lara thinks she has a stalker, I want to keep watch. The others don’t need to know I’m taking care of it.

ENZO

Don’t make me regret this, Alexei. I’ll have my guys go by tomorrow.

ME

Don’t tell Lara.

Enzo

… Continue

I knock again.

ME

I don’t want her panicking.

ENZO

Fine.

She opens up with her face glowing, her silky hair wrapped around some weird contraption over her head, and in a white robe.

Shit, I can see her nipples through the material.

I clear my throat and grin at her.

“I, umm, excuse the state of me.” She gestures down at her outfit and hair.

“Beautiful always, Lara.” I mean it. Like I do every time she asks if she looks okay in her clothes, or if it seems like she’s gained a few pounds.

Same answer because it’s always true. No matter what, no woman has ever come close to Lara.

She tips her chin down, making me shake my head.

“Why do you never believe me?” I say, stepping in front of her.

Her breath catches as I grip her chin between my thumb and finger bringing her blue eyes to mine, pushing her back so she is against the wall.

I stare at her lips but drag my eyes away to focus on her.

“You trust me with your life, right? You always have, always will?” I ask sternly.

I never bring this harsher side out in front of her. I try to hide it from her, keep her away from the dark that plagues me.

“You know I do, more than anyone else.”

“But you don’t trust my words? When I say you’re beautiful, I mean it. I may be many things, Lara. A liar is not one of them, especially to you.”

She opens her mouth and snaps it shut.

Cute. This is the first time I’ve had her speechless.

“Come on, say it, I know you want to.”

That smile that makes my heart race flashes across her face and I relax slightly.

“You said one kiss wouldn’t change anything between us. You lied.”

Our noses touch, her lips just a breath away from my own.

As our eyes lock, time stops around us.

And then I get a flash image of Nikolai slicing my head off with a machete. I can’t protect her if I’m six feet under.

I close my eyes.

Dammit. I did lie. One kiss did ruin everything. It made me realize the truth that I buried away.

But I can’t pull away if it causes her so much pain.

So I do the only thing I know how to do.

“Tell me that you stocked up my sweet jar,” I say with a smirk.

I sense her disappointment, I feel it in my bones. Sadly, this is how it has to be.

Releasing my grip on her face I step back.

I’m a fucking idiot. I know I want her.

She keeps her composure, smoothing out her robe, yet her cheeks are bright red, like that time I caught her stealing liquor from her dad’s cabinet when she was nineteen.

Her lip rolls between her teeth. “It’s half full, I wasn’t sure if you were coming back over so I left it.”

Guilt riddles me. “I didn’t lie. We can make this work.” I hold out my hand and she laces her fingers through mine.

“We have to.” She tightens her grip.

“So, tell me more about this stalker,” I say, leading her into her kitchen. I sit myself up on the counter by the refrigerator and she does the same on the one opposite, snatching the half full sweet jar and opening it.

I catch the gummy worm that she tries to hurl at my head and rip a bite off with my teeth.

That reminds me, I need to get Sheila some more fishies. Well, and Bruce. The damn birds are eating me out of house and home.

Maybe I should get a snake?

They might be easier.

“I might sound mad.” She begins.

I look up at her taking another bite of the candy. “Probably. All the best people are, Lara. Nothing wrong with that.”

She rolls her eyes. I gesture for another treat, this time she gets her aim right and a hard candy hits me in my eyebrow.

“What? It’s true. Now tell me before I get cranky.” I put on my best fake angry voice.

“Oh no, I’m so scared.” The sarcasm drips from her voice. She holds her palms up in surrender, and then belts me in the head with another sweet and she bursts into a fit of giggles.

There it is, my favorite sound.