Crossfire (Cross Duet #1)

22. IVY

22

IVY

“I wasn’t sure you were going to show.”

Grayson’s smile dismantled the thoughts that had been echoing in my head the entire walk to the coffee shop. Things like, I shouldn’t date anyone right now. My life is a complete mess. My ex-boyfriend turned out to be a total jerk. And the last person I trusted tried to kill me.

But that smile. My God, that smile was what truly unraveled me.

Clad in a black shirt that hugged his frame in just the right way, accentuating the lean, muscular contours of his torso, and sleeves bunched to his elbows, he was a vision of casual elegance. The jeans he wore clung to his hips, tracing the lines of his body with an allure that seemed almost criminal in its perfection, while a pair of sleek black shoes, coordinated with a matching belt, completed the ensemble with a touch of sophistication.

His hair, dark and short, was styled in a way that seemed as if he’d just run his hands through it, achieving a level of disheveled charm that was as unfair as it was captivating. His eyes, a shade of green as clear as it was intense, held a glimmer of light that seemed to pull me deeper, reflecting a mix of intrigue and a silent longing as they met mine.

And then there was his cologne—a thick mix of sandalwood and vanilla that was beyond intoxicating, evoking images of warm, sunlit beaches and promises whispered in the breeze.

Grayson tucked his hands in his pockets, his deltoids rounding as coffee cups clinked and a hum of conversations blended into the sharp scent of freshly brewed caffeine.

“I wasn’t sure I would either,” I admitted.

“I’m sorry if I offended you yesterday.” His face tightened.

I shook my head. “I’m just in a weird place in my life.” And I had started to feel things for Grayson that I wasn’t expecting or prepared to feel.

In bed last night, I tried to convince myself whatever I felt was nothing more than a physical attraction, but standing here now, I couldn’t run that denial play anymore.

There was something so calming about his presence, and it wasn’t just the chemistry radiating between us. It wasn’t because he was the most attractive guy I had ever seen—he was—or how I felt the pull to him when he was near. To be honest, whatever eased my muscles and tension when I was in his presence was something I didn’t fully understand.

Grayson arched an eyebrow, his attention fixed on my scrubs.

“You’re a nurse?” he asked with a ghost of a grin.

“I work in the ER.”

He tilted his head back. “So, you spend your days saving lives.”

My lips twitched. “That was my goal when I chose this profession, but the reality is, I spend most of my time making sure patients get the best care they can for things like broken limbs or infections.”

“Well”—Grayson’s gaze glided over my face, inciting a buzz of fireflies in my stomach—“it takes a special kind of person to take care of the sick. My mother had some incredible nurses before she passed. They made her final days bearable.”

While he was looking at me with a newfound respect, I was looking at him with an ocean of empathy.

“You lost your mom, too?” In addition to his father, who he’d lost to violence?

Grayson nodded, sadness flickering across his face. “Cancer.” His voice was low, like he was trying to bury the pain, but it stretched in the space between us, making my heart sink as I realized the depth of his loss.

Both parents, gone. And here I was, sulking about my own mother giving me a hard time over something as trivial as bills. At least Mom was still alive and loved me, and I could call her or hug her anytime I wanted.

Shame on me for taking her for granted. If Dad’s death taught me anything, it was that we should cherish our loved ones while we had them because we never knew when they might be gone.

“I’m so sorry,” I said.

“It was a long time ago,” he replied, trying to brush off the hurt. But I could see by the slight dropping of his features how much it still haunted him.

My heart swelled because he’d opened up and shared something so deeply personal with me. Locked in a wordless exchange, we lingered, lost in the moment of vulnerability and connection.

“Well…” Grayson’s voice changed to an upbeat tone as his focus swept over the bustling coffee shop, The sound of patrons chatting and milk steaming filled the air. “Looks like no ex today.” He raised an eyebrow mischievously. “Maybe we scared him off.”

I managed a smile, trying to shake off his heavy profession and focus on this lighter topic.

“A girl can dream.”

“We could stay here and see if he shows, but…” Grayson leaned toward me.

My stupid heart gasped a little, over him being a silly few inches closer.

“It’s such a beautiful day,” Grayson said. “Won’t be many more of them before winter hits. Would you like to take our coffee to go and enjoy a walk?”

Grayson stood strong, a flirtatious smile threatening his lips, his face full of hope and charm.

“Yes,” I decided. “I’d like that.”

He probably didn’t realize the significance of my decision, but after spending the morning wondering if I really wanted to take any step, no matter how small, to get to know him better, the answer became resoundingly clear.

Yes.

Yes, I did.

A few minutes later, Grayson and I stepped out into the unexpected embrace of sixty-two-degree weather. The sun beamed down, its rays gently caressing my face with a tender warmth—tricking us into thinking a brutal winter wasn’t on its way—while a playful breeze danced around us, carrying the aroma of fresh pastries. The city’s pulse thrummed in the background with cars gliding past, their engines humming. Somewhere in the distance, the piercing wail of an ambulance sliced through the air, a stark reminder that someone was in need of urgent medical care.

When we stepped out onto the sidewalk, Grayson moved to my left, placing his hand on my lower back.

My breath caught slightly from the sudden jolt of warmth from his touch, and it took me a second to realize what he had done—placed me in the safer position on the sidewalk by putting his body between me and traffic.

It was a small gesture, but one that had a large impact on my heart.

This guy was chronically protective, wasn’t he? From big things, like a person grabbing my arm; to emotional things, like an ex-boyfriend trying to hurt me; to everyday things, like the risk that a car could veer off the road and hit a pedestrian.

I had never had anyone shield me like this, and while I was an independent woman, his efforts to protect me spoke volumes about his character.

And made me like him even more.

“You know, hearing that you lost both parents…” I gripped the warm ridges of the to-go cup between my hands. “It has me thinking…ever since my father died, I’ve been fixated on his death and the problems that it left behind. Maybe I’ve been taking everything else in my life for granted.”

Grayson seemed to consider this for a beat, and when he spoke, his voice was like warm caramel. “Anyone in your shoes would want answers, too, Ivy. And you also inherited quite a financial problem. Your attention has been where it should be—to try and move forward. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

One. Two. Three.

That’s how long he stared directly into my eyes, and it took a loud honk from an irritated taxi driver in a nearby intersection to pull me from the little spell I’d been in. Swooping a runaway section of hair from my face, I tried to swoop away how much it meant to me—that he didn’t chide me like everyone else did.

“Maybe they’re right,” I wondered. “Maybe I should stop searching for answers as to why my dad ended his life. I have enough to worry about with the bills for my grams’s care.”

We stopped at an intersection, waiting for the Walk sign to illuminate as vehicles bulldozed through the lanes.

“What’s your next move?” Grayson asked once we started walking again.

Oh Lord. What an anxiety-inducing thought. “First, I need to talk to their billing department in person, see if I can negotiate a little more time. I’ve already tried picking up extra shifts at work, but the hospital system I work for is actually reducing hours, due to budget cuts, so I’m applying online for other floating positions.” I took a sip of my coffee, wishing I could swallow my anxiety with it. “I’ll figure something out.”

I had to. And in the meantime, I really didn’t want to think about this, because it stressed me out too much.

“What about you?” I asked as we turned a corner. Here, the air dropped nearly ten degrees when a thirty-story building blocked the warmth of the sun, draping us in a cool and dark shadow. “What do you do for a living?”

Grayson took a sip of his coffee, his Adam’s apple bobbing as it cascaded down his throat.

An Adam’s apple was now on my list of sexy things.

“I work in risk assessment.” His voice was low and steady.

“Risk assessment.” Was that even a thing?

“I’m an independent security consultant who helps evaluate threats against United States citizens.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Really?” That’s not a job you hear about every day . “What kind of threats?”

Grayson looked away for a moment, a shadow crossing his face before he continued, “I can’t disclose too much due to confidentiality, but let’s just say I try to keep people safe from potential dangers.”

Wow. “It sounds like a noble profession. Do you like it?”

“Gives me a purpose in life,” he replied.

“But?”

He studied me. “Who says there’s a but ?”

“I can hear it in your tone.”

Grayson’s lips curled up on one side. “Let’s just say, my current assignment is not one that I particularly want to do.”

“Can’t you tell them no?”

“It’s…complicated. I can’t say anything more than that.” Grayson sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “But enough about me.” His voice was husky with intrigue. “I want to hear about you. So far, I know your father passed away, your grandma is in a medical facility, and you have an ex-boyfriend that’s a complete douchebag.” His gaze flickered over my body, igniting a spark of attraction. “And you’re a nurse. Tell me more.”

Wow. It was flattering that he’d cataloged all that information. “Like what?”

“Where did you grow up?”

“Chicago,” I answered.

“Siblings?”

“None.”

His head tilted back in surprise. “Really? I have three brothers.”

“Are you guys close?”

He took a sip of coffee, appearing to consider his response. “We all drifted apart after the death of my mother, but we’re working on it.”

“I always wanted a brother,” I admitted. “But after my mom had me, she had some kind of complication and had to have a hysterectomy. So, it was just me, growing up.”

“Happy childhood?”

“It…was…” Until…

Grayson picked up on my tone, watching me intently, clearly wondering if I’d continue. But this wasn’t something I wanted to talk about.

That day, when I was thirteen, changed my life forever.

“Anyway,” I said, “I was always really close with my dad. Daddy’s girl and all that. Whenever I was with him, I felt whole.” And safe.

And when he died, I’ve felt broken ever since.

It was like Dad was the earth’s surface. Without him, I was in a free fall, grasping to try to catch myself, but each time my hand would grab something, my anchor would snap off, and I’d fall further into the center of the earth.

I didn’t want to fall anymore. I needed to find my anchor.

“Tell me if I’m prying,” Grayson said. “But it sounds like his death was a surprise?”

A lump formed in my throat.

“He was acting depressed, and we all sensed something was off. Maybe I was in denial, not seeing it as severe depression that would lead to suicide. Police said he had several reasons to want to end things.” My voice cracked slightly. “Two years prior, my mom and dad got divorced.”

Dad had worshipped the ground my mother walked on. I couldn’t imagine the pain he must’ve gone through when she left him.

“Shortly after that, his mom had a stroke. It was one of those all-consuming medical emergency situations, where he was at the hospital day and night, and then his job started to suffer because of it. My grandma was in ICU for four weeks and in the hospital for nine weeks total. Not including the rehab she went to after. My dad was struggling to pay his bills and had no line of sight to how to fund my grandmother’s medical care. She was on Medicare, but she had never taken out supplemental coverage.”

Another vehicle honked angrily nearby, reminding me what a hostile world this could be—especially for someone who was struggling, like my father.

“My dad was stressed, but…”

Still.

“You think there’s another reason that you haven’t uncovered yet?”

I shrugged. “Early on, police speculated that maybe it was for life insurance. My dad had a policy on himself that would’ve been big enough to pay for my grandmother’s medical needs, but I told the cops that didn’t make any sense. A few years ago, my dad’s cousin committed suicide. His cousin’s mother was left with the funeral costs because his life insurance policy had a suicide provision and refused to pay out. It was a big debacle in our extended family, so my dad would’ve known that suicide wouldn’t pay out his policy.”

I looked down at my feet.

“Anyway, I’ve always had this intuition that there was something more going on, but…maybe it’s just a coping mechanism. The more I distract myself with trying to get answers, the less I’m processing that he’s really gone.”

There it was. The ugly fear that all my questions were nothing more than a distraction, postponing a chunk of my grief. When someone you love dies, you want there to be some earth-shattering reason for it. When there’s not, the hole left by their death feels even bigger and emptier.

I couldn’t believe some of my darkest fears had spilled out, but something about Grayson’s warm and nonjudgmental attitude allowed me to let down my guard.

“Pete kept telling me to move on. Maybe I should have listened to him.”

Grayson’s face hardened, and we shuffled across the intersection.

“I wouldn’t have adhered to a word your ex said either,” Grayson mused. “In fact, I probably would have done the opposite.”

I smirked.

“Is that what you do? The opposite of whatever your exes want you to do?”

“I don’t have any.”

“Any what?” I asked.

“Ex-girlfriends. I haven’t had a girlfriend since high school, and none of those were serious.”

RED. FLAG. ALERT.

Grayson looked to be about thirty years old. He should have a bunch of exes in his rearview mirror, so what wasn’t I seeing? He was charming, polite, protective, and so good-looking, he turned heads everywhere we went.

“Why?”

Grayson cleared his throat, silent for a few seconds, like he was debating answering the question. “After my dad died, I was kind of a mess for a while, and by the time I got to high school, I started getting into a lot of trouble. Fights, things like that. My mom tried to get me help, but I wasn’t really interested in improving. I found that beating the shit out of bullies in high school to be a perfectly adequate grief mechanism.”

God, at least I had my father through my adolescence. I couldn’t imagine how much it would’ve crushed me to lose Dad at such a young age.

“Then, my mom got sick,” Grayson continued. “She was in and out of treatments for a while, so the last thing I wanted to do was go out on dates. She made it a few years. After she died, I just”—Grayson shrugged—“buried myself in my career.”

Totally understandable. Tragically sad, but understandable all the same.

“Have you ever wanted to date?”

Something passed over Grayson’s face, something I couldn’t place.

“My job isn’t very conducive to relationships. It requires a lot of travel, often with very little notice. So, I’ve never really entertained the idea.”

“Until now?” Did I seriously just say until now out loud? Kill me now, please . If embarrassment had an alarm, mine would be blaring like a firetruck siren, so loud that you’d have to slap your hands over your ears. What the heck, Ivy? Get it together.

“You know you’re kind of adorable when you blush,” Grayson said.

My cheeks flamed hotter.

Dammit. He totally noticed that.

Look at that smirk on his face; he enjoys making me blush. I hate how much I’m enjoying it, too.

We walked in silence for a few seconds, sipping our coffee and ambling among the buildings of the city. Pedestrians seemed happier than usual, probably on account of the warmer weather and the sun.

I couldn’t help but think how lovely this was, enjoying a walk with a handsome new love interest on a beautiful, fall day.

Such a stark contrast to a traumatic, near-death experience.

Without realizing it, we soon crossed in front of the medical building that housed my grandmother. I hadn’t consciously chosen to walk here, but my feet must have done it out of habit. After all, my impending conversation with their billing department played in the back of my mind, nerves settling into my chest.

I took a deep breath, steeling myself for the difficult conversation that awaited me inside. Little did I know, my world was about to be turned upside down once again.