Crown of Ellova, Vol. 1 (Crown of Ellova Duology)

Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

D esperation to escape claws at me. Off to one side of the bazaar is a stone archway leading to a long hallway only servants use. My heeled boots echo in my attempt to flee Grayden and his atrocious words. They are sinking into my skin and my stomach turns; my skin feels contaminated where I can still feel his foul grasp.

What if Grayden is following me? I almost stumble turning around, but the hallway is empty. Frantically seeking somewhere near to hide. If he decides to find me again, he will know I came through the castle’s main entrance and will search for me there. I need to slip out through one of the back exits that wrap around to the front. It’s impossible for me to leave now; I cannot risk anyone following me to Cyanna’s door.

Grayden can never make the connection between my cousin and me.

I race down the hall, music fading with every step. I almost miss the sliver of the night sky behind thick blue curtains not completely pulled together. I pause for a moment before taking a few steps back.

A balcony garden.

I push the heavy curtains out of my way and pull on the iron door handles. Thankfully, the large glass doors open with ease, letting in the icy air, and I slip inside. Dark clouds promise a storm-filled night. The scents of roses and rain linger in the air, and I take deep, desperate breaths. Closing the door, I press my back to the chilled wall for a moment.

Unlike the chaos of Nueena’s garden, this one is meticulously organized. Wooden planter boxes with a variety of plants and flowers take up most of the space. Vibrant pink flowers with glossy green points on their stems peek out next to a small patch of buds with dark leaves with red veins. Vedesdron, a powerful poison, and in the other corner, a small rose bush is nestled with geraniums.

Eyes closed, I try to relax, but at the sound of heavy steps approaching, fear fills me again, the knot in my stomach twisting painfully.

If Grayden has followed me and we are without an audience, I can fight him off; of that I am sure. The low likelihood of me getting safely out of Adreania if I fight him makes me hesitate. His guards are always close by, willing to turn a blind eye to his cruelty. My hand hovers over my leg, ready to pull out the dagger strapped to my thigh. The steps grow louder and stop at the door. The handle slowly turns as my fear digs its claws into me.

Please don't be Grayden.

A tall shadow stretches across the balcony, the light from the hallway hiding their face.

“Arra?” Leon shuts the door behind him, head moving back and forth, searching for me. He holds a large lantern that illuminates the garden. The relief of Leon finding me has a soft noise escaping my lips and he whips around to find me half-hidden in shadows.

Our eyes meet, and he takes broad steps. Suddenly he’s in front of me. I tilt my head up to see him and my heart sputters. Leon’s green eyes frantically roam my face and, arms looking for any sign of harm, brows pushed together above a heartbreaking frown.

“Arra, are you hurt? I saw you run from him.” His tone is sharp with an undercurrent of unmistakable rage, but softened with the genuine concern in his eyes. I get a little lost in them; they are a green hue, so rare in color. I wish a gemstone like it existed so I could make a necklace out of it and wear it forever. Not unlike an emerald but darker green, with more depth to the color.

Slowly nodding, I continue to stare at his handsome face. My throat tightens and my eyes start to water. This is surely the last time I will ever see him. I can never come back here, to this castle, to this kingdom.

I try to memorize his features as if I were a painter instead of a jewelsmith and could capture him forever in oiled paints and stretched canvas.

As tears form in my eyes, he takes a step closer to me and caresses my cheek, replacing Grayden’s sting. He uses his thumb to wipe the lone tear making its way down my flushed face and I lean into his touch, closing my eyes. The ring he wears is cold against my skin. If I don’t leave soon, I’m afraid of what I’ll say to keep him close. The secrets I’m willing to whisper, the truth on the tip of my tongue.

“Arra, did he do anything? Did he put his hands on you?”

Without the word Lady , it feels intimate to hear my false name on his lips. Even if it’s not my real name, I love the way he says it. He says it like a prayer, and not for the first time, I wish he knew to call me Izadella.

To hear that would truly be a gift.

It would mean I could be honest with him, that he could truly know me.

When I do not respond immediately, he must fear the worst because concern leaves his face and is replaced wholly with anger at the implication the silence brings.

I shake my head and lie. “Just vulgar words and vague…threats.” Threats, promises of whatever nightmare he has imagined for the cursed day he becomes king. “Did he follow me?”

He shakes his head. “No, the royal family retreated to their chambers for the evening. Arra, you need to leave,” he whispers, his breath on my skin with the closeness of a lover.

I only have a moment to say goodbye but the words are caught in my throat. How do I tell a man I barely know what light he brought to my life in such a short time? That even if my words were a falsehood, my feelings for him were forever true?

“Arra, do you hear me?” he asks over the sound of the rain that starts to fall, pelting the glass that surrounds us. I nod dreamily without comprehending his words. His hand still touching my face is all I can think about. I want his hands touching me everywhere. He closes the space between us, our chests touching now. What was he saying, for me to leave?

“I’ll go home,” I whisper, looking at his lips.

“No, not home anymore. Home isn’t safe.”

That pulls me out of my thoughts. I almost laugh at the thought of the Ellovian palace not being safe, but if Grayden has the coronation fruit, we might all be in danger. Then I realize he speaks of the false life I’ve built here in Adreania, a life built on outright lies and half-truths. The little apartment above an empty jewelry shop that never opened with three children whose names I can never remember.

“Tomorrow after sunset, take your family to the fisherman’s cove. There you will find a tavern on the north side with a blue door, the Black Bell. In the darkest corner, find a grumpy fisherman named Oliver. He owns a boat called Hanolis’ Sun . Give him this.”

He removes his hand from my cheek, leaving it so cold it’s tempting to grab his palm and put it back. Leon holds out a necklace I recognize. He had commissioned me to make it the night we first met, years ago. An A is etched on the oval gold locket. My hand shakes as I take it. The tangled chain is warm from his pocket.

I opened the little door to find a tightly folded note.

He covers it with his palm. “Do not open it yet. Only open it when you meet with him. It’s his instructions to take you and your family away from here. You will leave and sail to safety. Grayden will destroy everything when he inherits the crown and you need to be somewhere safe. Please, let me protect you.”

He watches me slip the locket into my pocket before continuing.

“I have a small plot of land waiting. The house is old but has enough room for everyone. The local blacksmiths will help you start over. You will not need to worry about anything; that I can promise. You will be safe. Your…husband—” He stumbles over the word. “—will be given work and your children an education. You can start over somewhere you will be cared for.” Pain and desire are etched in every line on his beautiful face. “Safe.”

His mix of sweet herbs and tart strawberry burns through me, leaving in its wake a fever of longing, of agony.

The desire to scream that there are no little ones or husband, that this has never been my home. I want to tell him who I really am and beg him on my knees to forgive me for lying for all these years, how desperately the truth begged to be told every time he stood before me.

He’s gone to such great lengths to ensure my safety, and it’s breaking my soul into shattered pieces of desperation. He stands close to me, but I need him closer, and I can hold back no longer. I wrap my arms around his center and draw him against me, no space left between us, and still he doesn’t feel near enough. His arms are instantly around me, clinging like he never wants to let me go.

I rest my forehead on his broad chest, savoring him.

The last few minutes we have left to share in this lifetime are over and I try to memorize every heartbeat we share chest to chest. Mine is swift like the beat of hummingbird wings, while his mortal one is slow and rhythmic. A bitter reminder that in a few decades he will fade away, but as fae, I will live on for hundreds of years without him. Our brief moments spent together under each full moon will be the only remnant of him. The last memory he existed at all in my life, a balm to soothe the ache his mortal death will one day bring.

I truly was a fool to fall for this mortal, but I can’t bring myself to regret him.

He’s never been this close before, always standing across the table from me when he bought my jewelry month after month. I want to get drunk on the smell of him, taste it on his skin. Run my tongue up his throat and…

“Healer Leon!” someone calls in the distance, and his arms tighten around me. The faint press of his lips in my hair breaks something within me and I close my eyes, relishing the touch, desperate to stay with him.

“You need to go, Arra.” He whispers it in my ear, leaning down to press a soft, lingering kiss to my cheek. I nod, of course I do, but I still cling to him, not wishing to part from this man. The thought of doing so brings physical pain. He looks down at me with open longing, hunger in his eyes. “I will see you again, all right? Grayden will get what’s coming to him. Men like him always do. Trust me.” The last part he says through gritted teeth.

“Goodbye, Leon.” I press my lips together to keep myself from laying bare my agonized soul and ripping apart the tapestry of lies woven to him in this place.

“Healer Leon?” The guard’s voice shakes with uncertainty.

“WHAT?!” Leon bellows at the incoming guards through the door, his arms still around me.

“The…the king,” one stammers, voice slightly muffled, “he isn’t well.”

Leon presses his forehead down to mine and mutters under his breath to me, “Obviously not. He’s fucking ancient.”

I cannot help but giggle at that.

He yells back to the guards, “I’ll be there shortly.”

Their footsteps fade away. We spend our final seconds together staring at each other, leaving so much unsaid.

Finally, we pull apart. I move deeper into the balcony shadows, and when Leon is certain I will not be seen, he opens the door but turns back for one last moment with me. “You look beautiful tonight,” he says before walking back into the hall.

I take a few deep breaths and attempt to ignore the misery forging itself inside my chest before I walk through the side halls, desperate to leave Adreania and never return to this horrid castle.

The servants’ hallway running parallel to the ballroom is crammed with castle staff working into the night. Almost at the end, I see Theodore and Clive, who are standing with a group of bored soldiers. They rise to attention when they see me. I’m too distracted to pay attention, and with the burning in my eyes clouding my vision, I collide with someone. The young woman’s metal serving tray loudly meets the floor. Her hands fly to her mouth, eyes wide in horror when she sees my sash.

“I’m so sorry, my lady. I’m so terribly sorry. This is all my fault.” She whimpers and now I am not the only one holding back tears.

She drops to the floor, head bent, her cheeks a bright red as she tries to clean up the spilled food. Kneeling to assist her only seems to fluster her more.

“No, no, my lady, let me.” She shakes her head furiously, which loosens the twisted bun of the same reddish-gold hair color as mine, a rare shade here. She is shorter than I am, with a leanness to her figure that tells me that in a castle full of food, even the scraps are out of reach. More servants rush to help her, Theodore and Clive close behind. With the small army of servants who have appeared to help clean up, the overwhelming urge to return to Nueena overtakes the desire to offer my unwanted help.

“I wish to depart.” Not bothering to wait for Theodore and Clive, I start walking towards the main gates, refusing to be delayed any longer for the carriage to be brought. They chase after me; their armor that has never seen battle clamors as they run to keep up. Once they reach me, they flank either side.

“My lady, the carriage will be brought around as soon as possible,” Theodore pleads, breaking the rule not to speak with me. Guilt slips in; if anything happens to me, they will be held responsible.

“No need. I have nothing left to sell and no one would dare rob me. Let’s go.” They look at each other but follow me for the short journey back. The streets are quiet, and finally, I reach the shop. Turning to face them, I give a fake smile. “Thank you for the escort. I bid you a good night.” My tone is harsh, hoping it discourages any further conversation.

Clive nods at my dismissal, but Theodore looks concerned and continues to break the rule of not engaging me in conversation.

“Are you sure you are all right?” Theodore whispers.

“Yes, thank you, just tired from the excitement.”

They both nod knowingly, looking convinced, and I fight not to roll my eyes at how quickly men assume the weakness of women .

I slam the door shut and turn around. Once the front door is locked, I lean my back against it so I do not collapse. The rush of panic slowly eases, leaving only a desperate need to lie down. My soul aches at leaving Leon. The only solace is the rising bittersweet relief that now I no longer need to live Arra’s life, but never seeing him again seems like too great a cost.