Crown of Ellova, Vol. 1 (Crown of Ellova Duology)

Chapter 38

CHAPTER 38

L eon is quiet the next morning. His smiles are soft and his touches are frequent, but a wrongness lingers between us. It hangs in the air, tormenting me, but nothing can be said that I haven’t already voiced. How we feel about each other does not change our situation. I’m ready to accept it, prepared to grieve and scream and cry and try to find a way to live a half life without him.

Leon seems determined to fight fate ’til the end.

I can’t decide if I want to kiss him for it or fall to my knees to beg him to abandon me. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to continue resisting when he makes his desires so clear.

We spend our last day at Quartzridge by the sparkling lake, the four of us lounging in long, woven chairs, sipping on cold juice, and enjoying the sun. Nueena’s sisters splash in the water nearby; Kaylena’s happy screams join the chorus of singing birds and several musicians’ soft melodies. I sit next to Nueena in an attempt to keep some physical distance from Leon. Nueena and Tavien both eye us with concern, having noticed the tension.

“How was the Airvell Spring?” Tavien asks cautiously.

“Collecting blutells went well. The bag is in our room. The part where I almost killed Leon did put a damper on the day, though. ”

Tavien reaches out and takes Nueena’s drink to prevent her from spilling it everywhere right before Nueena sits up so quickly her chair shakes.

“What?” she demands.

Leon sits up as well. “She did no such thing. The crown thought I was attacking her and reacted; it was not her fault. Something I keep trying to tell her.”

Nueena and Tavien glance at each other before Tavien narrows his eyes at Leon. “Why, exactly, did the crown feel you were attempting to do her harm?”

Leon looks briefly offended at Tavien’s tone but is quick to explain we were just having fun and I was never in any real danger. Nueena relaxes, lying back down and taking her drink back from her Zemra.

“Well,” Nueena says, “this does prove the crown will protect against even perceived threats.”

The crown needs to make up its fucking mind. Does it want to protect me or kill me? The way everyone’s sympathetic eyes slide to me tells me it’s clear they all had the same thought.

We have one last meal before we will travel back to the High Palace.

Lazalai sees us off and I can no longer escape her presence. “Will you stay a few moments after our royal family leaves?” Her signature happy disposition is not there and her question implies it was not a suggestion.

I have no choice but to agree.

“I’ll see you back at the palace later tonight,” I whisper to Nueena, who nods, and I hand the enchanted bag of blutells to Tavien so he can get them to the apothecary.

“I’ll stay with you,” Leon interjects, visibly displeased with his instruction to leave with them.

I shake my head. “You have work to do with Tavien.” Leon opens his mouth to argue but must think better of it and nods instead.

Lazalai and I wait for the last of the party to disappear before we turn to each other. “Let’s walk, my dear.” She loops her arm with mine. “I’m not sure what is going on, but you’ve been avoiding me, and after a century of adamantly avoiding romantic entanglements, you have Leon following you around like a lost pup. I’m worried about you.” She stops and faces me when we reach a low balcony overlooking a lush garden. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine, just overwhelmed with all the coronation preparation.” I smile at her. “I would come to you if it was something you could assist with.”

She rubs her temple. “Della, I know something is wrong. I can sense it. I won’t demand honesty if you will not freely give it. I know much of your loyalty and life lies with the High Court, but you have a home here too. You’ve made vows to this court, and to me.” She takes my hand. “I’m here if you need me.”

“I know. I’ve always known that.” Guilt mixes with affection for my Guardian. “Thank you for everything.” I pull her in for a hug, unwilling to add to the lies, but I have no truth to offer her.

She pulls away and with a mischievous grin asks, “So which court is Leon from?”

“He’s a healer, and we are not together. Or not in the way you think. He’s working with Tavien and only here for a short while. Once he is finished, we will part ways. I really must be getting back to them.”

“You might want to let him know that,” she says, her eyes kind and her words sympathetic.

“What do you mean?”

“He looks at you the way Tavien looks at Nueena, just with more open longing. It’s sweet.” She reaches up and cups my cheeks. “You deserve to be happy for whatever time is offered. Don’t let the ending ruin the beginning.”

To assuage my own guilt, I stay with Lazalai most of the evening, reminiscing on our past and all the current court drama, knowing that I have at least completed my task of acquiring the blutells and that Tavien and Leon can make progress while I’m here. When I finally return to the High Court, the royal wing is empty. As I lie in bed, the moon is high in the sky before I hear the library door open. I hold my breath, waiting to see if Leon will join me, but then his bed creaks when he sinks into it, and my heart follows.

Maybe this is for the best, but my bed has never felt so cold.

T he early-morning sun is bright and spilling through the windows as I take deep breaths through the sharp pain in my abdomen. After slowly making my way to the bathing room, I strip off my stained nightgown, drop it to the marble floor, and pull down one of the large shells, letting the hot water flow out of the wall into the small bathing pool in one corner, next to the large green translucent windows.

I pour in fragrant oils and dried sea foam from the Meridia Cove tide pools.

Large bubbles cover the top of the water as I sink into it, twirling my hair around the crown in a twist. Some falls back in my face but I do not have the energy to fix it. The warmth helps to ease the pain crawling up my spine.

I’m resting my eyes when a knock sounds and Nueena pokes her head in. She’s wearing a purple gown that wraps tightly around her with a deep neckline that crosses below her neck. The long train of it follows her. She’s barefoot and takes a seat at the edge of the pool, her legs tucked under her.

“Bleeding started during the night?” she asks.

I can only nod and rub my hands over the soft flesh of my stomach, letting the warm water soothe the muscles. “Unfortunately. It will be over in three days, plenty of time before the ball.” I try to control my breathing through the pain. In and out, in and out.

“Want me to get the healer for some herbs?”

“No thank you, they never work anyway. What’s on your schedule today?”

Nueena picks up one of the oils, inhaling its sweet scent. “We are meeting with some court representatives about the ballroom decor, wine tasting at the Court of Green’s vineyard, and attending a birthday celebration for the Court of Shells’ Guardian at their pool pavilion this evening if you are feeling well enough.”

I groan, not from the pain within me but from missing a trip to the vineyard. “I think I will take a rest day. Will you tell Leon I’m not feeling well and keep him entertained for the day?”

She laughs. “If you wanted a man to leave you alone when you are ill, you shouldn’t have chosen a healer. He can come with me and Tavien, of course, but I’m sure he would much prefer to be by your side.”

I lie in bed in fresh linen pants lined with folds of fabric and a soft wrapping around my breasts to help with the temporary ache in them. The bath helped some of the pain, but it still feels like a hot dagger has been sheathed through my insides as the cramps continue. Maybe I should try to read in bed, but the ache in my chest completely unrelated to my bleeding threatens to hurt even more.

I recognize what you are to me, Izadella. Fate has destined our souls to be forged together. No Guardian’s opinion matters, and no temple is necessary to prove what I feel for you, what I can sense deep within me. I don’t need to hear it back tonight. If we part ways tomorrow, know that my soul is forever bonded to you, even if we never receive a soulbond.

This man! This beautiful, protective, and kind mortal man. Leon is everything I never hoped to find. How could the sweetest words burn so painfully? He gives his heart so freely to me, asking for nothing in return except that we try. Try to find a way to make this impossible relationship work. To give him my heart as freely as he’s given his.

As if my thoughts summon him, the bedroom door that is rarely kept closed immediately swings open after a frantic knock without waiting for a response. Leon swiftly walks in and looks me up and down, assessing me.

“Why didn’t you call for me?” That strong jaw clenched tight.

Guilt trickles in. “Leon, everything is all right. It’s not something I wanted to worry you about.”

“Are you ill? Nueena said you weren’t feeling well and tried to recruit me to approve ballroom decorations and go swimming.” He hovers over me with impatient concern on his handsome face.

“You have excellent taste. I’m sure you’ll be helpful.” It’s meant to be a tease, but a cramp hits and I suck in a breath involuntarily.

He looks even more alarmed at this.

“Calm yourself, Leon. It’s just my bloodline bleeding, nothing I haven’t been dealing with for a century. I promise, it’s fine. Please go enjoy a day about the palace. Nueena and Tavien will keep you fully entertained today, and the pool at the Court of Shells’ pavilion is divine. Let the Ellovian royals show you a good time.”

He sits on my bed. “It won’t be a good time if you’re not there. Now, what hurts?”

I sigh. Fae are open when it comes to our bodies, but I’ve heard mortals have different ideas. Though, as a man of medicine, Leon is likely far more understanding. “Just temporary pain. Please go with them. There are parties happening all over the kingdom, and as Nueena’s guest, you have an invitation to all of them.”

He is about to argue with me again, but we both look towards the strong knock on the open doorframe. Nyvenah stands there with a smile and a covered tray. She wears an embroidered deep purple sleeveless robe over a vibrant green gown. Leon stands and gives her a deep head nod that makes her laugh.

“None of that. Please sit back down.”

Leon follows her instructions as she brings the covered gold tray to my desk and uncovers its delicious contents.

There are two golden teacups and a short milk pot, and matching it all is a teapot with little emerald leaves on its base. Next to the teacups is a small tray of creamy dark chocolate truffles with crushed golden shortbread on top. Pouring the tea into a cup, she adds in a generous splash of the milk and brings it, along with the truffles, over to me. “How are you feeling, my dewling?”

“Better now, thank you.” I hold up the cup in gratitude before taking a sip of the sweet almond tea with its nutty notes layered with honey and a hint of caramel.

“Good.” She gives me an affectionate pat on the top of my head as she always did when I was a dewling. “I’ll come check on you later and see what you would like for dinner if you cannot make it down to the dining chamber, all right?”

Her motherly concern has always been such a gift in my life. “Thank you, Ny.”

Nyvenah gives Leon and me another bright smile before leaving.

Leon waits ’til he hears the front doors close before giving me a puzzled expression, but I only give him a smile as I sip on my delightful tea, watching him with amusement as he thinks of how to phrase the question I know he is finding a polite way of asking.

He takes a moment before speaking. “Why is the Realm Keeper of Ellova personally bringing you tea and chocolate in a palace overflowing with helpful attendants?”

“Cause I’m not feeling well and she loves me, hence the tea and chocolate.” I give him an innocent smile.

Setting the teacup down and picking up the plate, I choose the biggest piece of chocolate and plop it into my mouth. It melts on my tongue, and a happy moan escapes my lips at the rich, bitter flavor of the cocoa.

I offer him a truffle. “No chocolate in Adreania compares to the taste of Ellova’s candy.” And I eat another one.

He only watches my tongue dart across my lips as I lick away the chocolate there.

“And she was made aware of your monthly bleeding because?”

I give in to end his confusion. “I’m on shyrell. It is what we call resting during bleeding. Magic is passed down through birth. Since any fae bleeding typically displays the possibility of fertility to carry on the magical bloodline, it is a sacred tradition for the heads of the family to bring tea and sweets. It is like a little thank-you for the suffering to one day continue the family’s magic in a way. Bleeding is treated with great care and rest here, and I am, unfortunately, more mortal than fae in this regard so I suffer five or six times a year instead of only once, but it only lasts two or three days.”

His eyes soften at that. “And Nyvenah treats you like her own.”

I only nod and close my eyes, savoring the chocolate flavor .

“Are you having cramps now?”

Nodding again, I feel him shift from the bed, and I peek one eye open as he stands above me.

“I’ll be right back, then.” He leaves the room and returns a minute later with his worn leather medical satchel. “I have something that will help. That is, if you would allow my touch.” He holds up a crystal vial of a soft pink oil.

“Of course, Leon.” Before I can stop myself, “Always” slips out.

His relief is immediate, as if he expected me to say no. “I would need access to your stomach to massage it in.”

A flutter of tension builds low in my gut at his words. It is on the tip of my tongue to say that I possess the ability to place the oil on myself, but I’m hungry for his touch, greedy for it, and I need to make things right between us. “All right.”

He moves onto the bed. “I will need to get close.”

I pull back the blanket and spread my thighs wide to give him space. He pauses for a moment, looking at my exposed skin as if surprised by the invitation of the intimate position. He slowly kneels in front of me, between my thighs, and I drape my legs over his knees. The wrap covers my breast and I pull the light pants lower, exposing more of the round softness of my stomach as he pours the oil into one hand.

He holds eye contact, staring down at me, his green eyes lit with such hunger as he rubs his hands together to heat the oil. His fingers are light touches, and they start low on my hips and work their way up, moving in soft circles, pushing the oil into my skin. I close my eyes as the scent hits me.

It smells like him.

Bright strawberries and woodsy herbs.

His hand movements are bordering on sexual, not the massage of a skillful but indifferent healer, but the hands of a lover. He knows exactly where to apply pressure over the pain but is gentle when he moves around my hips and waist.

I moan freely as the pressured circles dissolve the pain, the dull ache of the cramps fading away every second his hands are on me.

“Turn over. Let me massage your back.” It’s a soft demand, and for a moment I debate which I want more, his hands on me again or to kiss him. I cannot stand another moment without his lips on mine, so I grab the front of his tunic and pull him down over me.

His lips open to me greedily, his tongue sweeping in. I moan into his commanding kiss. Leon’s hands circle around my waist; my back bows as he pulls me up towards him. We stay like that for a long time, locked in a tight embrace but never going beyond soft kisses. He kisses me until I pull away with a small gasp, needing air. His lips move down my neck to show the skin there attention with gentle sucks.

“Leon,” I breathe and he moans into my neck at the sound.

“I know, Strawberries, I know.”

The dull ache in my lower back demands his healing touch, and he lets me go so I can flip over. I hate the clothes we wear, the separation it brings. I want us skin to skin.

Leon rolls down my pants even lower to just above my backside and leans forward to place a lingering kiss between my shoulder blades, undoing the tie around my breasts so my back is fully exposed. He gets more oil and moves up and down my back, switching between blissful pressures. Starting at the top near my shoulders, he makes loops and swirls, going side to side. He presses low to my backside before working his way up, just to repeat the caress. I giggle into the silk pillow as he does it two more times, each of his playful touches getting a little lower.

The scent of him is so strong I can almost taste it. The warmth of his palms, the deep strokes, the gentle caresses, relieves the ache in my back and head. The press of his hands softens until he is drawing lazy swirls on my back with his fingers, which draws me towards sleep.

It is truly divine.

I can sense the smile on his lips as he kisses my cheek. “Get some sleep.” I expect him to leave, but he re-ties my top and lies down with me.

I curl into his side and he pulls me close before he gently places the blanket over us.