Crown of Hate (Soulless Empire)

Chapter 27

27

ALYA

The world stops spinning. I’m sure of it. And I swear, if I went outside right now, the stars will have stopped twinkling, too. It’s like the universe itself is holding its breath.

Even my lungs forget how to function. My brain short-circuits. I’m frozen in time, gawking at Mikhail like a slack-jawed idiot because, holy hell, he just dropped the L-bomb on me. This has to be some kind of fever dream… right?

Well, if it is, I never want to wake up.

Mikhail breaks our kiss, and I huff nervously, trying to brush it off. “Come on. Don’t tease me like that.” But I’m still trembling from what he just did to me. Everything feels weak, including my resolve.

In response, Mikhail hauls me closer and presses me against his wet, muscular frame. “Feel how fast my heart is beating. Does it sound like I’m teasing you?”

He’s not lying. His heartbeat is wild and frantic, matching my own. “No,” I mumble mostly to myself. “It doesn’t.”

Mikhail isn’t the type to crack jokes about something like this. But it’s so hard to believe that this powerful, enigmatic man could actually love me—me, of all people—especially with how we reacted to my declaration.

It just doesn’t feel real, no matter how badly I want it to be.

His finger finds my chin and he tilts my face up. Our eyes lock, and suddenly I’m drowning in those impossibly intense blue pools. “I don’t know when or how I fell in love with you. Maybe it was love at first sight, maybe it took a second. Who the fuck cares. But out of everything in my life, only one thing is certain right now: I love you, Alya, and I’ve been in love with you longer than I ever realized.”

I blink at him, my jaw practically on the floor. “But at the club?—”

“I was a fucking idiot. You took me by surprise, and I choked. There’s a war coming, and I kept thinking, what if I don’t make it back to you?”

A little wave of nausea washes through me at the thought. I squeeze my eyes shut, inhaling deeply. When I open them again, I cup his cheeks and smile. “You’re not that easy to kill, Mikhail Zhirkov. You’ll always find your way back home. I know you will.”

“My home is with you.”

My cheeks flush. It’s all so overwhelming. I don’t know what to say—and it finally helps me understand what he must have been going through when I confessed my love to him.

The nausea settles.

“Well, I’m right here,” I manage to mumble.

“Not for long,” he nods. “We’re leaving for Russia in two days.”

“What? Why?”

“I’ll explain everything, don’t worry. But I need to know you’re in. That you want to come with me, even if it means leaving behind everything you have here.”

I only hesitate for a second before instinct tells me exactly what I need to do—or maybe it’s not instinct, maybe it’s just love.

“I’m in.”

“Are you sure?”

I nod. “As sure as I’m ever going to be.

Mikhail kisses my forehead. “Then it’s settled. We’ll be together, no matter what happens.”

“Always,” I whisper back, my heart swelling.

Another forehead kiss, gentler this time. “I’m sorry for being such a bastard,” he says, then hesitates before forcefully adding, “I’m so lucky to have you, Alya. You have no idea.”

Oh, but I do. Because I’m the one who struck gold here. Losing my papa was hard as hell, but Mikhail stepped in and filled that void. He became my protector, my husband, and my friend. He’s more than I ever dared to hope for—even if he truly is a bastard sometimes. At least he’s my bastard.

A smile fills my face… but I feel it falter when that wave of nausea hits me again.

My heart plummets to my stomach as realization dawns. Deep down, I know what it means—I’m pregnant. My usually clockwork-regular cycle is a week late, my breasts hurt a lot more than usual, and this persistent nausea and weakness… I’ve been in denial because I’m afraid to face the truth.

What if Mikhail doesn’t want a child?

He’s only just confessed his love for me. What if a baby changes everything? What if he isn’t ready to be a father?

Suddenly, I don’t feel so warm and satisfied.

Does this monster’s love come with conditions?

I fear I’m about to find out.

“You’re dressed up.”

I nearly jump out of my skin, whirling around to find Mikhail sitting at the dining table, newspaper in hand.

He looks criminally good in the preppy, navy-blue shirt and khaki cargo pants he’s wearing. His hair is perfectly tousled, and it looks like his stubble has grown a little more since last night. It should be illegal to look this good.

My body tingles all over from just looking at him. It’s downright criminal how handsome he is. But hey, this gorgeous specimen is all mine, so who am I to complain?

“I have a brunch date with your sister,” I say as I walk up to him and lean against the table. “She’s picking me up soon.”

I bite my tongue, holding back the pregnancy bombshell and our little detour to the hospital. I need to be a hundred percent sure before I drop that nuke on him.

My heart is doing the cha-cha against my ribcage, but I plaster on my best smile and pray it’s enough to keep him from suspecting that I’m nervous.

He closes the newspaper with a snap and tosses it beside me on the table. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I forgot,” I blurt out, my voice sharper than intended. “I mean…” I slide my legs between his, a distraction tactic worthy of a spy movie. “You know how… busy we were last night.”

He stares at me intently, but his blank mask makes it impossible for me to read him. After what feels like an eternity, he exhales. “Okay. But you’re taking your bodyguards with you.”

I go still. Shit, no. I can’t have Dimitri and Igor follow me. They’ll spill the beans before I even decide whether there are beans to spill.

“They can’t come. It’s a girls-only brunch. Sophia will be there too.” I release my secret weapon: the puppy dog eyes, cranked up to eleven. “It’ll be creepy with two hulking dudes lurking around. Everyone will be uncomfortable.”

“Oh, Kira is used to it. Sophia will have to adapt if she wants to keep hanging out with you,” he says, rising to his feet. “They’ll take separate cars and try to keep their distance.”

I jump up. “Mikhail, I don’t?—”

“There’s a war, Alya,” he cuts me off. “I have many enemies, and a good number of them have figured out you’re my weakness. I’m not letting you go anywhere alone until all of this is over.”

“And when will that be?” I mumble to myself.

“One more thing. Remember, we’re leaving for Russia tomorrow. Don’t worry about packing anything; we’ll buy whatever we need there.”

“My mom. I’m not leaving her here.” I have a million questions, but I was so caught up in the heat of the moment last night that I didn’t think to ask. Still, I meant what I said about him being my home. “With Akim still lurking around alive and well, there’s no telling when he’ll put her in his crosshairs. And trust me, with you gone, he definitely will.”

“We’ll bring her along.” His lips quirk with a smile. “I hope you don’t think I’m a controlling husband. Your safety is my top priority.”

I nod despite myself. “I know.”

He plants a kiss on my forehead. “See you later.”

I nod again, words failing me.

He sighs, but it’s not in relief or exasperation. It feels like there’s something he wants to say, but he’s holding back. “Stay safe.”

“You too,” I manage.

He walks away, leaving me with a whirlwind of emotions. Outside, Dimitri and Igor are already waiting for me. I greet them halfheartedly, my attention drawn to the sound of approaching tires and blaring music.

A white Rolls-Royce Sweptail rolls into view, and the next second, it’s parked in front of me.

The tinted passenger window slides down, revealing Kira’s grinning face. “Hey, girl.”

An instant smile splits my face. She’s cool, just like her brother. “Hey, nice wheels.”

“I know, right? Hop in.”

I climb in, shutting the door behind me. The car is bathed in a soft feminine perfume I can’t quite place, but it smells heavenly. “Mikhail wants them to follow. They’ll tell him everything if we let them.”

Kira smirks with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Roll up that window.”

I do as she says, already sensing where this is going.

“Let’s see if those meatheads can keep up,” she winks, gunning the engine. We peel out of the driveway, leaving Dimitri and Igor in our dust.

I buckle up, feeling the excitement bubbling up despite my nerves. A little reckless driving might be just what I need. “Can you really lose them?”

“It’s my specialty. Ilya’s bodyguards have never been a match for me,” she says, chuckling.

Her laughter is infectious, and I find myself joining in. “Thanks for this.”

She spares me a brief glance. “You’re Wally’s wife, which makes you my sister. Trust me when I say I’ll do anything for you, no questions asked.”

“Wally?”

She laughs. “His nickname. Long story. I’ll tell you all about it sometime. But now…”

My stomach drops a little as she puts pedal to the metal, tires screeching as we race ahead.

For a little bit, I’m silent, just trying to brace myself against the speed, but eventually I get used to it.

“Mikhail said we’re moving to Russia,” I say, hoping I’ll find some support in Kira. But I narrow my eyes on her when she doesn’t even flinch. “You knew?”

“Ilya told me last night. If my brother succeeds in becoming Pakhan, you’ll both have to live in Russia,” she says, her voice laced with a hint of sadness.

I look down, feeling a pang of uncertainty. The news came so suddenly that I haven’t even had time to process it. Leaving everything I know here behind, even Kira, feels… unreal. But I have to take things one step at a time, starting with finding out if I’m pregnant.

“Don’t look so glum. We’ll visit each other. You know I will.”

“I know,” I say softly. “But Russia is a whole new world. I don’t have a life or friends there. And if Mikhail isn’t around…”

“Mikhail will always be with you, Al.” She checks the rearview mirror. “Do you see them?”

I twist around and search for Dimitri and Igor’s car. Nothing. I breathe a sigh of relief. “I think we lost them.”

Kira beams with pride. “Told you. I’ll stop at a hospital where no one knows Ilya or Mikhail.”

“Perfect.” I point at the radio. “Mind if I…?”

“Go for it.”

I connect my phone to the car speakers and start playing Beyonce’s Texas Hold’em.

Kira and I sing along, momentarily forgetting the weight of the world.

Moments pass and soon we’re pulling up to a nondescript white hospital. We climb out, and I find myself glaring at the building like it’s a cursed castle, until I feel Kira’s warm hands on mine.

She flashes me a reassuring smile. “I know you’re freaking out, but I’m here for you. If you’re pregnant, Mikhail will be over the moon., trust me. He’ll love the baby.”

I hope she’s right, but I can’t shake the doubts. I don’t voice them, though. Instead, I just nod, and we head inside.

After what feels like a lifetime of tests, we’re finally sitting in the doctor’s office, waiting for her to read the result. My heart is threatening to break out of my ribcage while I steal glances at Dr. Jenkins, hoping that she’ll hurry up. Doesn’t she know how much the suspense is killing me? My mind is racing with what-ifs, and my fingers are drumming anxiously against my thighs. I clasp my hands together to keep them still.

I glance at the doctor again, searching her face for any hint of the news. Then she actually does look up, smiling. Her smile is warm and professional, but I can’t shake the feeling that she’s about to turn my world upside down.

“Congratulations, Mrs. Zhirkov,” she says, passing me the paper with the test result. “You’re five weeks pregnant.”

My vision blurs, and it feels like the room is spinning. Five weeks. My hand moves instinctively to my stomach, as if I can already feel the life growing inside me.

I’m pregnant.

With Mikhail’s baby.

Our baby…

Joy, terror, and a thousand other emotions war within me, but one thought blazes through all the others: How the hell am I going to tell Mikhail?