Cruel Alpha Daddy (Silver Meadows Wolves #4)

Chapter 1 - Rider

We have been far too long without a home.

As I look out over our ragged camp, this thought consumes me. Loneliness aches in my chest like a fresh wound to the heart. I feel cold and empty, but at the same time, so full of rage and pain, it’s as if my body literally cannot stand it.

The camp is quiet, most of the pack still asleep. Smoke curls from the remains of the fires, drifting up in lazy circles towards the clear air of the peaks. The early morning light shimmers against the snow-covered slopes, creating a world of light and color.

A place that could be heaven.

But feels like hell.

I walk slowly through the camp, listening to the sleepy sounds of my pack members inside their tents. Even though some are stirring, it looks like I’m the only one awake.

Somewhere nearby, a child cries. The sound is sharp and plaintive, a wail of discomfort and fear. My entire body reacts, my chest constricting around the rapid beat of my heart.

I was supposed to do better for them—for all of them!

After we lost our fight against Bailey’s pack six months ago, I vowed to change things for all of us. Finally, with a decent man in charge, we could find comfort, purpose, and stability.

We could make a home. A real one.

Instead, we’ve wandered through the woods, moving camp every few weeks. We leave our trucks at parking lots or abandoned scrap yards, using them to store supplies and occasionally travel to surrounding towns. There is no safe place for us to go, nowhere to build a home.

In Sawpit, the previous leaders of this pack had semi-legitimate businesses. A bar at the rougher edge of town and some shop fronts, but all of it is barely legal and caught up in a few generations’ worth of crime. If I want to help the innocent members of the pack, I can’t let them touch that dirty money, or live amongst criminals.

The baby cries again, and I hurry towards the sound. I can hear the mother inside the tent trying to comfort the child, soothing him with her voice. Hurrying to collect some firewood, I manage to get a decent blaze going before the woman comes out of the tent.

“Oh. Good morning, Rider.”

“Good morning, Lilah. How is Todd?”

“A little fussy, as you can see. I’m sorry he woke you up.”

I shake my head, hurrying over to her. “I was already awake, Lilah. I’m not like the other alphas that ruled this pack. I won’t punish you because your child is hungry and cold.”

I see tears gathering at the edge of her eyes, and Lilah holds Todd tightly against her chest.

“Thank you, Rider.”

“Do you need anything?”

At first, she shakes her head, then I see conflict in her eyes.

“Tell me, Lilah. Don’t hold back.”

“Well… I could use some formula and diapers. We can go without if it’s too much trouble.”

“Not at all,” I reassure her gently. “I’ll do a supply run to the trucks, and if we don’t have enough, I’ll send someone to the nearest town to buy some.”

“Do we have the money?” she asks.

No.

“Don’t worry about it,” I say, smiling gently. “We can cover it. Can I help you make some tea?”

“No, thank you, Rider. My sister will be up soon.”

“Okay. Don’t hesitate to ask me if you need anything.”

She simply nods, turning her face away from me. I can see how drawn and tired she is, but she still doesn’t want to complain.

She’s just like all of us. So damaged, lost, and broken that she believes she deserves this punishment.

I walk away from the camp and jog up the slope so that I can look out across the ranges and our little camp huddled beneath me. We will have to move soon; we’ve almost bled this spot dry of resources. I’ll have to scout around for an abandoned mine or a patch of forest that is well-sheltered with access to water and animals to hunt.

We lived rough like this for so long because it was the way Jethro wanted to live. When he took over from Elton—the psycho alpha Bailey killed a few years ago—Jethro moved most of the pack out into the wilderness and began his new regiment of violence and pain. The biker faction stayed in Sawpit to run the crime rings.

There was plenty of money from the crime rings, and the old alpha had access to decent resources, but Jethro taught that comforts like this were a weakness. True wolves only need the forest. It was the only way we could be truly free.

And I believed it.

The sun breaks through the peaks, and the warm rays caress my cheeks. I loved that life, running wild in the forest with my brothers. It wasn’t until Jethro was killed and I became alpha that I realized there were innocents to care for. People who depended on me to keep them safe.

I intended for us to live rough for a short time while I secured housing for us. We couldn’t settle in Sawpit. It was far too dangerous there.

I stopped the raids on random businesses and forbade the biker faction to engage in crime. I know they didn’t listen to me, which is even more reason to keep the women and children out of Sawpit.

A sigh eases through me, making my breath fog the air. We are two packs now, not one. I am well aware that the bikers don’t respect me or recognize me as alpha, but are only paying me lip service. They want the entire pack for themselves, and to return to the bloody, hellish conditions Jethro reveled in.

What would they do to the innocents if they managed to take control from me?

I shudder just thinking about it. They don’t want an all-out bloodbath—at least, not yet. If they can undermine me and gain the trust of the others, then they can simply kill me and do as they like with the women and children. If they start a war, there might be no one left for them to oppress once it’s over.

I turn away from the camp and look up to the icy peaks. The urge to run is almost overwhelming. I can feel it, smell it. The joy of escape, the pure freedom of only worrying about myself and no one else.

But all I have ever done is run.

I close my eyes briefly, feeling the ache in my chest intensify. If I had never known love, maybe I could run.

But I have, and that’s why I can’t abandon the others.

When Kyle was here, I knew the love of a brother. The pain in my heart rips through me, making me want to howl at the sky. I still can’t forgive him. I can’t ever forget what he did to me.

If he was going to run, why didn’t he tell me? I thought he trusted me.

That brief time I was friends with Kyle taught me the value of brotherhood, of friendship. Now that I know what it feels like, I can’t abandon the pack the way he abandoned me.

I want to be angry with him. I wish I could hate him, but I understand him too well.

Turning from the peaks, I jog back down to the camp. I don’t shift into my wolf shape because I know that lonely howl is still trapped inside me. If I give it the slightest chance, it will spiral from my throat, consuming me with pain.

All around camp, people are coming out of their tents, lighting fires and making breakfast. There is a lot of laughter and comradery, which lightens my heart but also adds to the weight of my responsibility.

Heading up to the top end of camp, I’m struck by the silence. That’s when I realize the biker guys aren’t here. They always make an ungodly racket when they first wake up, announcing their brutality and lack of consideration for the rest of the pack.

Fuck! Not again!

I hope they’ve simply headed to Sawpit to get drunk or make a quick grab for cash, as they often do. It’s far more likely, though, that they have gone out to cause trouble.

What will it be this time? Burning down a campsite? Bar brawl? Trashing houses and cars?

Walking through their end of the camp, my suspicion grows. It looks like they didn’t even spend the night here, so they have had a lot of time to create a real mess.

One I will have to clean up.

I hurry back towards the main camp to call together a meeting. There are a lot of good men in this pack, men who want to protect their mates and their pups. I know every single one of them is fighting with me to turn this pack around, but I also know they are afraid of the biker faction.

And its leader.

Tobias.

A growl slips out from between my lips, and I swallow it quickly. Tobias is one of the most evil creatures I have ever encountered, and I’ve known some monsters. I expected him to challenge me for leadership right after the battle with Bailey’s pack, but he didn’t.

I know that fight is inevitable, though. All I want is to make sure the innocents are protected before it happens.

If I die, if they kill me and the other good men here—what will they do to the women and children?

I shake my head, forcing my thoughts away from the bloody, painful images that flash through my mind. I pick up my pace a bit, intending to get all my loyal brothers together so we can talk about the situation, maybe even prepare for whatever trouble Tobias is going to bring back with him this time.

As I come through the thick trees, the wind flutters the leaves above me and seems to speak. Closing my eyes, I stop and tune all my senses to the forest.

It’s almost as if I’ve caught a familiar scent. One I can’t consciously remember, but something inside me knows it. I draw a few hard breaths, holding them in to examine the crisp, early morning air, but all I can smell is an array of scents from the forest itself.

When I open my eyes, I see the camp ahead of me, drenched in sunlight. Lilah is walking along in front of the tents, carrying baby Todd as she walks with Donny, her mate. The family scene touches me to the core, and the emotions that rise in me threaten to break down a huge barrier of memories from my past.

I have no mate.

I thought I did, once. A long time ago, before I joined Sawpit Pack. I was just a drifter, wandering from town to town, barely surviving. She showed me kindness and cared for me, and for a while, I believed in the power of love to heal all wounds.

But she betrayed me. Just like everyone always does.

It was a loss that drove me into Sawpit Pack, which turned me into a violent, bloody monster. For a short while, I thought Kyle was my chance at redemption, but he left me, too.

My only solace now is to protect my pack. To make sure none of them ever have to feel lost, abandoned, or betrayed.

I raise my nose to the wind again, looking for the scent that triggered me before. It was just a hint on the wind, a whisper of vanilla and honey.

It was probably just some wild jasmine, combined with my overactive imagination.

I hurry into the camp, calling out to the others to meet me at the main bonfire. I’m barely halfway into the camp when I hear high-pitched screams of laughter and wild barking from the north end of the forest.

Tobias.

My heart falls as I head towards the tree line to greet them. My more loyal pack members begin to gather around me, all of us sharing looks of worry.

What have they done now?

The breeze drifts by my face, and for the briefest moment, I can smell sweet vanilla right under my nose. I open my mouth a little, letting it fall against my tongue.

Don’t think about this now!

But how can I not? Even when I am trying desperately not to think about her, she is right there behind all my conscious thoughts, living under my skin.

Fiona.