Cruel Alpha Daddy (Silver Meadows Wolves #4)

Chapter 16 - Fiona

After we serve breakfast to the pack and do a few hours of baking, the women and I go out to the open paddock behind the main hall. It looks like it was once a sports field or an arena of some kind. It’s completely clear and flat, even though it’s overgrown with years’ worth of tall grass and weeds.

“How long should I leave that bread to prove, Fiona?” one of the younger girls asks. Her name is Maddy, and of all the women, she has the best natural talent for baking.

“Leave it for at least an hour, then go back and knead it and set it to prove again. Take Jean with you to help.”

“And the cupcakes?”

“Go and check on them in half an hour,” I answer. “Then leave them to cool before we make some frosting.”

“We’re almost out of powdered sugar,” a woman named Kay says. “And yeast.”

“Unfortunately, those are things we can’t produce ourselves,” I say thoughtfully. I have enough stock back in my bakery to keep us going for months up here, but it’s not like I can just walk back in there and take it.

How strange that I don’t really miss my life that much. Now that I have Rider, I don’t need my busy routine. The only thing I miss is Caleb.

“Okay, girlie. We’re gonna try this again,” Jen drawls in my ear. We all pull up chairs to sit in a big circle in the sun. There are stacks of wool and thread in baskets in the center.

“I don’t think I’m ever going to get it, Jen,” I say defeatedly.

“Nonsense. Just keep practicing, and you’ll be fine.”

I scowl at the embroidery needle in my hand. The girls have taught me a bit of everything—spinning thread, stitching clothes, and repairing shoes—but I’ve been utterly hopeless at everything so far.

“I can barely even knit,” I moan, getting my stitches tangled already. “Clearly, embroidery is beyond me. Shouldn’t we separate ourselves into teams so that all of us work on what we’re best at?”

“We definitely should,” Jen agrees, smiling. “But everyone needs to learn the basic skill set. Especially you, Luna.”

I groan inwardly, giving Jen a mock frown. She laughs and gives me a friendly shove. Even though I’m starting to take full responsibility as luna, I’m still guided by Jen, who is the oldest woman in the pack.

After a couple of hours, I begin to relax, and my stitches flow more easily. Jen looks over my work with approval, nodding over my shoulder.

“Pretty,” she acknowledges. “Yesterday, you couldn’t even do a line, let alone a swirl.”

“Hmm.” I glare at my strip of green fabric with its loopy silver pattern. “That’s a bit of a worry because I was trying to do a straight line.”

Laughter erupts up and down the circle. I laugh, too. Having all these women close to me makes me realize how isolated I was back in my pack. I only interacted with Lucy and Caleb. My customers, other moms at school, even good friends like Carla—I never let them really get to know me.

It feels good to have a real family.

My heart aches as my mind pulls away from that thought.

It can’t be a home. Not until Caleb is here, and I can’t bring him here until it’s safe.

Maddy calls for help with the baking, and I gratefully put down my needle and hurry inside. We bake several loaves of bread a day now, as well as cakes and biscuits for treats. The men usually come in at midday for a snack, and we set out a big dinner every evening.

Supplies are getting low. We have to do something soon.

Maddy and I hand out pieces of cake and cups of tea, and all the women stop for a break. There are fifteen of us, with twelve children of varied ages between them. Over the last few days, some of the men have come in to learn cooking skills, and more women have come to learn how to do repairs and construction. Jen’s idea to give everyone experience in necessary tasks is a good one. It will keep the pack strong.

“This really is bliss,” Maddy says, taking a sip of tea. She’s sitting in the center of the sewing circle with her young daughter, who is eating cake so enthusiastically, she’s getting most of it all over her face.

“It is,” Kay agrees. “I haven’t felt this good in such a long time.”

“I had a hot bath last night!” Sarah exclaims. “Can you imagine!”

Most of the women laugh. I get the feeling it’s been a long time since there was anything to laugh about.

“Rider is doing a brilliant job,” Lilah says. “Don’t you agree, Jen?”

“I do,” Jen answers. “I was born into this pack. Lived rough for as long as I can remember. My mother was a feral wolf, and she followed old Elton with passion. After she died, I was so angry with the world, I stayed savage. Jethro taking over only made me worse. It wasn’t until you girls came and started to have babies that I realized no one should have to grow up the way I did.”

“How old are you, Jen?” I ask.

“Fifty-five this year, I’d say,” she answers. “Can’t be completely sure. Too old for these painful bones to be living rough. If the old alpha or Jethro were in charge… I’d have to do my duty to the pack.”

The other women seem to go completely silent at the same time, looking anywhere else but at Jen and me.

“What does that mean?” I ask.

Jen looks at me, her eyes cold and hard. “Once you’re too old to hunt and care for yourself, you head out into the wilderness alone in the dead of winter. You run as far from civilization as you can, going until your strength runs out. Then… death. Either by the elements or wild animals.”

“Jesus!” I cry. “That’s barbaric.”

“It’s how my mother went,” Jen murmurs.

The realization that there are no pack members over a certain age hits me hard. I wonder how many poor souls have died this way, and how long this brutal tradition has gone on.

Probably hundreds of years.

“We’re very grateful to Rider,” Maddy says, wiping cake from her daughter’s face. “Some of us were members of the pack before Jethro, and some of us joined because we found our mates here and then couldn’t leave. I remember when I got pregnant—”

Maddy gulps down a sob and looks down at her daughter. She strokes the little girl’s bright hair and smiles when the child giggles and reaches for her face with sticky hands.

“When I got pregnant, Jethro told me if I held up the pack, he’d leave me behind. As I started to get heavy and slow, he warned me the pack wouldn’t wait for me. When I was nearly going into labor, I was lucky that we had a good, semi-permanent camp. I was still terrified that he would just leave while I was trying to have my baby.”

“What about your mate?” I ask, shocked.

Maddy looks up at me with tears shining in her eyes. “Jethro told me he’d put him in the fighting ring if he tried to stay behind. If I couldn’t give birth and keep up with my pup, I didn’t deserve to be part of his pack.”

I just stare at her, trying to understand this horror.

“We were afraid of Rider at first,” Kay admits. “We thought he might be worse. But now we have homes, and protection. He’s an alpha worth fighting for.”

“He really is,” Jen agrees, taking my hand and squeezing it. “He’s a good man.”

I swallow back a lump of emotion, trying not to cry. I can’t believe what these women have been through. The more I hear, the more determined I am to improve their lives.

We spend the day working through our gardening, sewing, and cooking. As it gets to late afternoon, we all go off for a break before cooking dinner.

We are so low on supplies. I need to talk to Rider about it.

My stomach twists painfully as I think about all the things I need to tell Rider.

We can’t go on like this.

When I walk into the kitchen, he’s sitting at the table, drinking coffee. He barely raises his head when I come in. I put a plate of biscuits down in front of him.

“Have a treat,” I say. “You look like you deserve it.”

“Thanks,” he mutters, taking a cookie. He stares off into space as he eats it, as if he’s not even tasting it.

I make myself some coffee and sit down across from him. I have to wave to get him to look at me.

“Are you okay?”

“No,” he admits. “The pack business is heating up. I got some bad news this morning, and I’m not sure how to deal with it.”

“Tobias?” my voice comes out in a tiny squeak.

“Yeah.”

“Why don’t you just kill him?” I ask, almost yelling. Normally, I'd never suggest killing anyone, but my fear of Tobias, coupled with the stories from the other women, have given me a new perspective.

“I can’t,” he says, a pained look on his face. “He wants me to try, or to call an official leadership challenge. He has support, and if I go after him, it could split the pack. There would be war.”

The implications of this take some time to sink in. I have absolutely no doubt that if Tobias had his way, he’d kill the men and take all the women for himself and his supporters.

It would be worse. Far worse than the conditions they lived in before.

“What are you going to do?” I ask.

“I don’t know,” he answers. “Right now, I’m waiting for information. I know this thing is going to blow sky-high any minute now. I want to catch it before it explodes, but if I jump at the wrong time, I’ll be the cause of everything going to hell.”

“Rider,” I whisper, reaching across the table to take his hand. He looks up at me with his big, dark green eyes.

“I swear, I will never abandon you again, Fiona,” he says. “I won’t let any of this come between us, and I’ll fight to my last breath to make sure you are safe.”

“Hopefully, it doesn’t come to that.”

I squeeze his hand, and his eyes soften. At that moment, I see his son in him so clearly, it’s almost as if Caleb is in the room with us.

Pressure builds in my chest, and I can feel the words hanging on my lips.

Rider. You have a son. His name is Caleb…

The idea of dropping these words into the stillness between us is terrifying. My imagination serves me up a variety of reactions Rider might have. None of them feel pleasant.

And then what? We go get Caleb and bring him back here in time for the pack war?

I close my heart down again, trying to keep my face calm so Rider doesn’t suspect I’m hiding anything.

After I tell Rider… I have to tell Caleb, too.

I’m not sure which thought scares me more.