Crying in the Rain (Hiding Behind The Couch Character and Festive Episodes)

9 Scripted

Kris

K ris finished the last inch of his second beer and scrolled distractedly through the script he’d loaded onto his phone so he’d look less like a man who had been stood up, which he wasn’t…yet, but he was convinced that every notification would be from Ade saying he couldn’t make it. Given he’d called twice, first to say he was going to be half an hour, then an hour late, Kris didn’t think he was being pessimistic in preparing himself for disappointment.

“Can I get you anything else?” the bartender asked as she picked up Kris’s empty glass.

“Will you kick me out if I say ‘no, thanks’?” He didn’t want to spend the evening sozzled or running to the gents’ every five minutes.

“Depends how busy we get.” She winked and continued her circuit of the few occupied tables. “Hot date?”

“Hopefully.” Quiet as it was in this bar on a weeknight, he kind of wished he’d picked somewhere he’d never been before because he was blushing brighter than the recording light above Ade’s studio door, and not out of embarrassment that his ‘hot date’ might not turn up. Just thinking about Ade had Kris’s heart leaping around like a cartoon heart on a spring, and he was sure everyone could see it boinging against the inside of his shirt.

Feeling terribly conspicuous, he checked for messages—no new ones—and tried the script again, but it wasn’t holding his attention, so he resorted to watching the bartender flirt with a guy at the bar. She was so laid-back and natural, leaning in to listen, a subtle flash of cleavage, a smile, always in control…the total opposite of Kris, who, when Ade walked in a minute later, gave himself hiccups and almost fell over his feet getting up to greet him.

It went from bad to worse, as Kris hesitated, unsure if they should embrace, exchange a quick peck on the cheek, or lips, or shake hands. They both danced from side to side for a few seconds before Ade laughed and initiated the same kind of hug and air kiss they’d shared earlier in the day.

“Mm,” he murmured against Kris’s cheek. “Love your aftershave. You smell really good.”

“So do you.” Shower-fresh with a subtle woody cologne.

They released each other, and Ade took a step back. “And you look great, although I was expecting…more colour? Is that my fault? It is, isn’t it?”

“Not at all,” Kris assured him. “I do wear plain shirts sometimes, and…I don’t know. I just…”

“Dressed down for my benefit? You didn’t have to do that.”

Kris shrugged. He felt he did. Whatever Ade’s reason for no longer wearing bright colours, it hadn’t sounded like a freely made choice.

“Are you OK with this table or would you prefer to sit somewhere else? Or move on?”

“Here’s fine,” Ade said, looking amused but flattered when Kris pulled out a chair for him. “Why thank you, kind sir!”

Kris smiled—couldn’t seem to stop smiling—and resumed his seat. “You’re welcome.” He waved to garner the attention of the bartender, who nodded to acknowledge she’d seen him.

“They have table service here?” Ade asked.

Kris nodded. “For regulars.” That made him sound like a barfly. “Not that I’m in here all the time. We come here maybe once or twice a month at most. What would you like? They have Coke and juice and mixers—not sure about non-alcoholic beers. A tonic water?”

“Erm…sorry? ”

“Well…you’re driving, aren’t you?”

“I drove here.” Ade sounded defensive. Kris cringed.

“Sorry, that came across as bossy and judgemental.”

“A little, but I know that wasn’t what you meant. To be honest, I need some gin in my tonic water tonight, even if I have to abandon the car and hitchhike home.”

The bartender arrived as Ade was speaking. “A G and T?”

Ade glanced Kris’s way before he answered. Kris shrugged—externally. Internally, he was banging his head against a wall.

“I’m having another beer, so…”

Ade smiled at the bartender. “Yes, please.”

“Ice and lemon?”

“Fab, thanks.”

“And a beer, Kris?”

“Yes, thanks.”

She returned to the bar to prepare their drinks, leaving them in an uneasy silence. Kris couldn’t believe how badly he’d screwed up. He wasn’t a drinker, and the two pints he’d had was usually his limit, but he’d never police other people’s alcohol intake. He tried to come up with something to say that wasn’t yet another apology, but they knew almost nothing about each other. The little he had picked up from Ade told him they’d both had more than their fair share of trauma, and it didn’t make for good first-date material, especially as Ade’s seemed to be ongoing. Not that Kris had any real idea of what did make for good first-date material, seeing as he’d been on precisely three, including this one.

Perhaps that was a good place to start.

He peered across at Ade, who was immediately attentive and seemed to have forgiven Kris’s latest faux pas.

“I was thinking…we should get to know a bit more about each other?”

Ade nodded, though he had that same look about him as this morning, the one that suggested he might bolt at any second .

“I’m happy to set the ball rolling,” Kris offered. “I have a feeling it might be easier for me than for you?”

Ade nodded again, still a little uptight, but he adjusted his position, so he was turned towards Kris, and settled back against the seat.

“OK, well…” Kris paused for their drinks to be delivered, along with a knowing grin from the bartender. Kris thanked her and gave her a tip even though he had an open tab and usually tipped when he settled up. “I’ve always been an actor, which you probably know already from my CV. I moved to England with my family when I was three. I have an older brother, Lars, and we have nothing in common whatsoever. He and my parents moved back to Sweden when I was in my twenties.”

“They left you here all on your own?” Ade looked horrified.

“It wasn’t a moonlight flit or anything. We came here for my dad’s work, and it was always the plan for us to move back when he retired, but by then I was in a long-term relationship with Shaunna, and we have a daughter…well, she’s my stepdaughter, but my parents always accepted Krissi as their granddaughter. They offered to pay for the three of us to resettle in Gothenburg, but we decided to stay in England.”

“Wow, OK. So you and Shaunna settled down pretty young.”

“Er, yeah, you could say that.” Kris chuckled. He’d come back to that, assuming he hadn’t chased Ade off before he got that far.

“Were you together a long time?”

“Twenty years. We only separated last year, and…” This could be make or break, but he wanted to be honest with Ade. “We still share a house.”

“Oh!” Ade blinked a few times in surprise and picked up his drink, half-emptying the glass before he said, “I guess if it works for you…”

“It has until now.” Even though he and Shaunna had discussed what they would do with the house when it stopped working, it had been more of a technicality, an if…then rather than a when , and Kris could feel the foundations shifting beneath him. He was no longer on solid ground, and it was disorientating but also exhilarating.

“Hey,” Ade said, resting his hand on Kris’s. “It’s not a deal breaker.”

That smile…

Kris vented a breath and followed Ade’s example, taking a less-than-sensible glug of his beer. He’d been so worried how Ade would react, and he honestly couldn’t have wished for a better response.

“Can I ask…if Krissi’s your stepdaughter…”

“Why is she named after me?”

Ade nodded.

“The short version—I was the first person Shaunna told she was pregnant, and we came up with this mad idea to tell our parents the baby was mine. We couldn’t keep up the lie, but we were always together, and I got to see this bump growing and feel first kicks, so by the time she was born, she felt like she was mine.”

“You were at the birth? Amazing!”

“Yep. As was Krissi’s biological father, although we didn’t know back then. But that’s a whole other story.” And absolutely not one for a first date.

“I need pics!” Ade snapped his fingers bossily. Kris laughed.

“I think I can oblige.” He opened his photos on his phone and passed it to Ade. “There’re a few on here from the summer. That’s Krissi.” He pointed to her. “And that’s Shaunna.”

“Is this your garden?”

“No. Dan and Adele’s—friends of ours. Don’t tell them I said this, but our garden’s much nicer—completely Shaunna’s doing, I hasten to add.”

“I won’t say a word.”

Ade spent a long time examining the photo, zooming in on Shaunna and Krissi, occasionally nodding or sipping his drink. He flipped through a few more of the photos, all of them much the same—Shaunna and Krissi laughing at something or other, Shaunna and Krissi drinking from their glasses at the same time, Shaunna and Krissi smiling at the camera… If it hadn’t been clear already from what he’d said, the photos confirmed that Shaunna and Krissi were Kris’s life.

“They’re very alike,” Ade said eventually. “Other than their hair and skin tone. I’m guessing Krissi’s dark complexion comes from her biological father?”

“Yeah, and she’s a lot like him personality-wise too. She’s one of those roller coaster fiends, and he’s into extreme sports.”

“Risk-takers,” Ade mused. He handed the phone back. “I may be a little biased, but Shaunna’s hair is gorgeous.”

Kris’s eyes strayed to Ade’s gelled copper spikes, which were a few shades darker than Shaunna’s ‘ginger-nut orange’, as she called it. “It is. It’s beautiful.”

Ade smiled, acknowledging the compliment applied to him too. “You still love her a great deal,” he observed. Kris nodded. “So why are you separated?”

“It’s hard to explain…” Kris wasn’t sure he knew himself, and his rehearsed answer of we just grew apart wasn’t going to cut it. “We maybe should have just been best friends all along. I think that’s all it is. We’re really good together as friends and parents. We always have been. And Shaunna is the most amazing mum—she’s one of those people who looks after everyone else, you know? Including me. Last year…” He paused, knowing if he went any further, Ade would probably be out that door in five seconds flat and never look back. But what other option did he have? Build another relationship on half-truths and have it blow up in his face twenty years from now? This felt like the start of something important, and he wanted to get it right, but Ade also deserved to know what he was letting himself in for if they did take it further.

“I had a breakdown a couple of years ago,” Kris said before he bottled out, although that was only the prelude. “Krissi decided she wanted to find her biological father, and it put a lot of strain on us all, but Shaunna…she’s a lot tougher than me. She to ok care of me, made sure I took my antidepressants, picked up extra work while I was sick. Then I went back to work, and I’m ashamed to say…I had an affair, which I suppose only brought things to a head because we were no longer living as husband and wife, if you see what I mean.

“Even now, our friends question us because they say we act like we’re still together, and on one level, I get it. We’ve got everything we had before, bar the sexual intimacy. But on another… I don’t know. Something changed between us, or we’re not who we used to be. Maybe that’s all it is—we’re different people now.”

“You grew apart,” Ade said, though he seemed lost in thought, a little pensive, staring into the mid-distance. He blinked and looked back at Kris. “Can I ask you a personal question? Or should I say another personal question.” He rolled his eyes, and Kris laughed. “You don’t have to answer.”

“Go on.”

“Are you bi?”

“Yes, I am.”

“OK. I wasn’t sure. I’ve always known I’m gay, but some people don’t for a long time, and I wondered if that was why things ended with Shaunna or if I missed something.”

“Missed something?”

“This isn’t meant as a criticism, but it sounds to me like you pretty much had the perfect relationship.”

“We did.”

“But it was a closed relationship?”

“Yeah. I mean, we never discussed it, but I never wanted to be with anyone else, and I don’t think Shaunna did either.”

“Yet you had an affair.”

“I don’t know why I didn’t just say no when he made his move, which isn’t me saying I’m without blame. I guess I was missing the intimacy—not necessarily the sex. Being physically close to someone. But in a new relationship, you don’t usually get one without the other, and he was in the same situation as me, or so he said. ”

“He was cheating on his wife,” Ade stated. Kris nodded.

“When I told him we were done, he claimed theirs was an open marriage, apparently forgetting he’d previously said he was in the middle of a divorce.”

“What an arse.”

“Yeah.” Kris smiled ruefully. “In conclusion, I screwed up my marriage and threw away my job, and he just carried on as usual.”

“Wait—” Ade held up a finger. “It’s not Jack Malton, is it?”

Kris somehow kept his groan to himself. He felt like such an idiot. Of course Ade would know Jack. They worked in rival radio stations a couple of blocks apart, although Jack was a show host, not a producer.

“I’m going to assume by your silence, and the fact that you look like you want a black hole to suddenly appear and swallow you whole, that’s a yes.”

Kris nodded. He couldn’t even meet Ade’s eyes.

“I can see why you fell for him. He can be very charming. And very…controlling.”

Kris glanced up. Ade smiled gently.

“I’m sorry you went through that.”

“Don’t be.” Kris didn’t want sympathy. He didn’t deserve it.

“Just remember, we all make mistakes,” Ade added cheerfully. “Now…” He glanced around the bar. “How do I summon your admirer?”

“Who?”

“The bartender.”

“Oh!” Kris laughed and blushed. “She flirts with everyone.”

“Uh-huh. If you say so,” Ade teased. “Ooh, there she is!” He waved and caught her eye. “Same again?” he asked Kris.

“Just a Coke, please. I’m a lightweight.”

The bartender arrived for Ade’s order. Kris listened to their interchange, feeling vindicated when she proved his point by flirting with Ade, although all traces of smugness were wiped out when Ade turned back and dazzled him with the most incredible smile. Kris’s heart leapt back onto its spring. He wanted this, more than anything, and he wanted to make sure Ade knew that.

“I hope telling you this doesn’t scare you off…”

“Nothing has so far,” Ade said.

“I know we’ve only known each other for two days, but I think I’ve fallen for you already.”