Crying in the Rain (Hiding Behind The Couch Character and Festive Episodes)

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Kris

“I need to warn you,” Ade said, unfolding the T-shirt and shorts Kris had offered as sleepwear and laying them out on the bed. “I have a couple of bruises on my arms from being…held a bit too tightly.”

Midway through threading a pillow into a case, Kris lost his grip on it, and it plumped to the floor. He picked it up and gave it a shake. A really hard shake. “If you want me to leave while you change—”

“Oh, no! I just didn’t want you to get a shock, that’s all. I bruise easily, you see, and…well, they look a lot worse than they are, I promise.”

Kris really hoped he never came face-to-face with Ade’s ex, because right at that moment, if they’d been in the same room, Kris may well have got himself into hot water. He wasn’t a violent man, far from it, but bullying, abuse, domestic violence—any exercise of power over someone who couldn’t fight back—was an instant and devastating trigger for him. And here was this incredible person, attractive, funny, sweet, hurting and trying not to shock, because of a hideous scumbag of an ex-boyfriend. However angry Kris was, it wouldn’t help Ade to know it.

As it was, Kris didn’t get to see the bruises on Ade’s arms, as he shoved his shirt off and pulled the T-shirt on in almost one motion, and it was a size too large for him, so it covered much of his arms. Not so the bruises around his neck. Kris turned away, to conceal his shock, but wasn’t quick enough.

A shaky breath escaped Ade. “It’s really ugly, I’m sorry. ”

“That’s not why… I just…” Kris turned back and made sure Ade saw him looking at the bruises and not shying away. “I can’t believe someone would do this to you.”

Ade bristled. “Don’t pity me, please. That makes me feel worse.”

“It’s not pity. I want to get in a taxi right now and hunt that bastard down.”

“It’s not your fight. It’s mine.”

Ade’s eyes beseeched Kris to let it go, and he was trying, but it was hard with the purple bruises that clearly formed the impression of two hands around Ade’s neck, symmetrical thumb prints below his Adam’s apple. Suddenly the urge to hold Ade overwhelmed him, and Kris pulled him in tightly.

“Oh God, Ade. He could’ve killed you.”

“Yes. He could, but he didn’t,” Ade said, or that was what it sounded like. His voice was muffled by Kris’s shoulder. Ade laughed and jutted his chin against Kris’s collarbone. “Could you let me go?”

“Sorry.” Kris loosened his grip, but he didn’t—couldn’t—let go completely. He backstepped, steering Ade towards the bed. “Which side would you like?”

“I don’t care.”

Kris released him, finally, and stood back to give him the choice.

“It’s your bed. Get in it and I’ll follow.”

Kris huffed in protest but moved to the left side of the bed. He paused again. Ade nodded to encourage him. Kris got into bed, and Ade climbed in next to him.

For a while, they lay on their backs, side by side, arms touching from shoulder to fingertip, the spark of arousal from earlier lost. Kris was desperate to hold Ade, but seeing his bruises had been a painful reminder of the importance of consent at every stage, and he’d already mis-stepped.

Ade slid his hand under Kris’s and laced their fingers together. “Is that OK? ”

“Yes.”

“Are you going to turn out the light?”

“Soon.” Letting go, Kris rolled onto his side and propped up on his elbow so he could look at Ade as he spoke. “I haven’t done this in a long time either.”

“Slept with the light on?”

“Spent the night with someone.”

“You share a house with Shaunna.”

Kris sighed in mock exasperation. “Bringing someone back…not that I’ve ever brought anyone back here, but you know what I mean.”

Ade smiled up at him. “I do,” he said, the smile becoming a frown. “I don’t think I’ve ever spent the night with someone I wanted to.”

Kris reached across and smoothed his fingers over Ade’s cheek, trying to make sense of his mixed emotions—sadness that Ade had never experienced this before, elation at being someone he wanted to spend the night with… “I feel like we’ve done this forever. What I said earlier about new relationships and that you can’t have the closeness without sex? It’s the furthest thing from my mind right now. I mean, I’m not saying no to sex if it’s something you want…”

“What’s in your head?” Ade asked.

“What d’you mean?”

“When you think about us, now, what do you see?”

Kris lowered his eyes. “I don’t know if I should tell you because it’s kind of…lovey-dovey.”

“Come on,” Ade goaded. “Tell me.”

“OK, well…I see birthday cards and breakfast in bed, watching fireworks together, opening Champagne and drinking Bucks Fizz on Christmas morning.” Kris met Ade’s gaze and found no ridicule there. Just the soft glow of the bedside lamp and maybe something more before Ade’s eyelids began to droop.

Kris switched off the light and shuffled down under the duvet, taking care not to jostle the bed. Ade stirred anyway and nestled his cheek in Kris’s hand .

“Mmm, this is nice,” he murmured drowsily.

“Can I put my arm around you? Is that OK?”

“Uh-huh.”

Kris rested his arm lightly on Ade’s side. “Good night,” he whispered, placing a soft kiss on his palm.

***

Ade

“G ood morning .”

Ade took a second to get his bearings before opening his eyes and smiling at the vision of a perfect start to the day. “Good morning.”

“Sorry to wake you, but I wasn’t sure what time you needed to leave.”

“What time is it?” Ade asked.

“Just gone six.”

“Are you working today?”

“This afternoon.”

Ade rolled onto his side, bringing him closer to Kris, and snuggled in. It was so blissful. Comfy, cosy. Safe.

“Can we stay here a little longer?”

Kris kissed him on the forehead. “Of course.”

*

“…It’s almost nine.”

Ade slid up into a sitting position and watched Kris sidestep along the wall to set a mug of coffee on the cabinet on Ade’s side of the bed.

“How did you know?”

“That you were a coffee-in-the-morning person? You have it at work, plus your comment last night about it being too late for coffee implied you usually drink it rather than tea. Did I do bad?”

“Not at all. Thank you. You’re very observant.” Ade waited for Kris to move to the other side of the bed and then pulled back the covers in preparation for getting his phone to call work. He could go in over the weekend to catch up if need be, but for now, he wanted to stay in this idyllic escape, free from the stress of Fergus’s constant harassment.

“What would you like for breakfast?” Kris asked. “Can you eat OK now?”

“I managed the meal last night.”

“Kashmiri chicken curry for breakfast?”

Ade laughed. “Maybe not. Give me a minute to make this call and then we can discuss it.”

“I’ll go give you some privacy.”

“No need. I’m only ringing work to tell them I won’t be in today.”

“OK.” Kris picked up his coffee and ebook reader and settled back against the headboard.

The call started out well enough. Ade worked flexibly, and he frequently did more hours than he was contracted for, so his boss was fine with him taking the day off. It was what came next that threw him straight back into turmoil.

“Your mate from upstairs is sitting with me. I’ll hand you over. See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, bye.” This couldn’t be good.

“Hi, Ade.”

“Hey, Pip. What’s up?”

“You-know-who turned up here this morning.”

“What?”

“Yep. He was getting in the lift as I arrived. Apparently, he told the guard you forgot your lunch.”

Ade was on his feet, too agitated to stay still.

“What time was that?” he asked but missed her response when he caught sight of his reflection. The colour had drained from his face and neck, and the bruises were dark as a thunderstorm sky. Nauseated, he turned away and tried to tune back in to what Pip was saying, but he’d heard enough to get the gist.

“I’m sorry, Ade. I didn’t know how else to get rid of him. ”

“It’s OK. I’ll call him now. Thanks, Pip. Love you.” Ade hung up and slumped down on the bed, staring at his phone screen. Not a single missed call or text, and still Fergus was getting what he wanted. What was the point in even trying to get away from him?

“Ade?”

He brought up Fergus’s number, but his hands were shaking and he accidentally clicked the wrong button.

Block and report? Confirm/Cancel

Kris’s face appeared in front of him. “Ade, what’s happened?”

He clicked Cancel and locked his phone. “He went into work looking for me. Pip saw him charm his way past the security guard and intercepted before he reached the studio. She thought that’s where I’d be. She told him I didn’t want to see him, and he acted like she was lying and asked her to pass on a message.”

“Which is?”

“He wants what’s his and he loves me.”

“He wants what’s his? Has he got clothes at your place?”

“That and…he means me. He thinks I belong to him. And yes, I know it’s insane, but he thinks because he financially supported me when I was an intern, he owns me.”

Kris shrugged. “I financially supported Shaunna when Krissi was little. I don’t own her.”

“I’m not saying I agree with him. But that’s how his mind works, and he has a point. I do owe him.”

Kris drank his coffee and stayed quiet, but what he thought was patently clear.

“Plus, there is still quite a lot of his stuff in my apartment,” Ade added.

“Does he have a key?”

“Not anymore. I’m going to have to go home.” The thought of what he was going back to made him want to abandon the flat and everything in it, but damn it, he’d worked his backside off to keep it this long. He couldn’t just walk away.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Kris asked .

“Thanks, but no. It’ll make him worse, and I need to deal with it.”

“So what will you do? Leave his things outside?”

“That’s my plan.” Ade opened the notes app on his phone and visualised his apartment, trying to recall everything that belonged to Fergus.

“What are you doing there?” Kris asked casually, though his expression was anything but.

“Making a list of Ferg’s things.”

“So that’s his name.”

“Yeah.” Ade paused, surprised he hadn’t mentioned him by name to Kris before now. He hadn’t intentionally avoided doing so; despite Kris’s remark about hunting Fergus down, he was a very gentle, albeit persistent man.

“Didn’t you say you were together for ten years?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“No reason really…”

Ade gave Kris a pointed look.

“All right. I was thinking about all the stuff in this house. Other than our clothes, toiletries, jewellery and whatnot, none of it’s mine or Shaunna’s. It’s ours .”

“You were married.”

“True. I’m not sure it matters, though, because if you’re sharing a living space, don’t the fixtures and fittings belong to you both?”

“Well, legally, I suppose it’s all mine, as my name’s on the mortgage, but there’s no point fighting him when some of it’s always been more his than mine.”

“Like?” Kris pressed. No doubt he had Ade’s best interests at heart, but it was stressing him out. He went back to his checklist, saying aloud each item as he added it.

“The TV. The stereo is fifty-fifty, but he can have it. What else in the living room? The PlayStation’s mine…I think that’s it. In the kitchen—”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t understand this,” Kris interrupted. “What do you mean, the TV’s his? Did he buy it? ”

“He chose it. I didn’t really want one that big.”

“So you bought it?”

“We bought it together.”

“Then it’s yours too.”

“It’s only a TV.”

Kris pursed his lips, but Ade knew what he was thinking. It’s only a TV… It’s only a stereo… The rate he was going, there’d be nothing left.

With a great deal of care, Kris put down his cup and rounded the bed. “Shower,” he mumbled as he left the room.

Heated towel rail Ade added miserably to the list because it was a compulsion. People commented all the time on how organised he was; none of them realised he couldn’t stop. Except maybe Kris had.

At least when Kris returned from his shower, Ade had managed to set aside his phone and drink his coffee. He smiled and shrugged in defeat.

“You’re right,” he admitted. “But what can I do? If I don’t give him what he wants, he’ll keep coming back again and again.”

Kris sat on the edge of the bed and took Ade’s hand. “I’m sorry about the way I spoke to you before. I kind of lose my mind when it comes to people like him.”

“I’ve noticed,” Ade muttered with no venom at all. “And I know that even if I do give him all that stuff, he’ll find other reasons to keep coming back. I just want him to leave me alone.”

“If I can help you, tell me. I’ll be there. I promise.”

“Thank you.” Ade looked up and smiled again, with a little more feeling. “It’s not the best way to woo someone, is it?”

Kris leaned sideways and kissed his cheek. “I feel very wooed,” he said playfully.

Ade rolled his eyes.

“I’m joking, Ade. Or kind of joking. I’d gladly spend the rest of the day in bed together, but not when you have this looming over you, unless you wanted to?” Kris shook his head, swallowed…turned pink. “What I mean is, I’m not rejecting you, but I’m tr ying not to put any pressure on you either. Does that make any sense at all? You know what? I’m just going to shut up. I don’t—”

Ade kissed him, and that did shut him up but also put temptation in Ade’s way, as Kris tasted delicious, of mint and cologne, and he was wearing only a towel.

Ade eased back from the kiss. “It makes perfect sense, but I’m not made of porcelain, and you don’t need to protect me. In fact, I’d rather you didn’t try so hard to do the right thing.”

That wasn’t true, as being cared for was quite a turn-on, and he loved that Kris paid such attention to how his actions might put Ade under duress. But he’d achieve nothing by delaying. He needed to go home and sort out his apartment, then face Fergus.

Face Fergus . Two words with the power to make him tremble until he thought he might shatter to pieces, but he was going to bloody well do it, even if it meant giving Fergus every last piece of furniture in the apartment. This was it. The end of the road. Do or die. I hope it’s do.