Crying in the Rain (Hiding Behind The Couch Character and Festive Episodes)

30 Boyfriend

Ade

“F or fuck’s sake ,” Fergus muttered darkly. A mania flashed across his face, which was quickly checked, but Ade had seen it, and it terrified him. Fergus leaned in and stared into his eyes at close quarters, a warning not to raise the alarm. He let go of Ade and moved towards the door.

“Don’t!” Ade warned. He followed Fergus along the hallway, in no rush to stop him, yet at the same time dreading what came next. There was only one way that he would get Fergus out of the apartment, or only one where Ade also got out alive, and even then there were no guarantees. For now, it was safer if Fergus believed Ade was on his side, and so he stopped him from opening the door. “She’ll call the police.”

Fergus clenched his fists and turned back. “So? What are they going to do? We’re just having a wee chat, aren’t we?”

“Yes, but…” Ade was starting to wonder himself. What would the police do? He was still waiting for a court date for the restraining order, and while that was officially on record, they’d been through this a dozen times before and Ade had always refused to press charges. Even if Mary did call them, they might decide it wasn’t worth following up, but maybe he could persuade Fergus to leave before it came to that.

Persuade him to leave and never return? Unlikely, not the way he was acting, with that crazed emptiness in his eyes. Behind the brave facade, Ade was a shivering, frightened mess, and it was taking all of his willpower and concentration to keep at the forefront of his mind that Kris was waiting for him .

“Tell Mary all’s well,” Fergus said.

It took a few seconds for the words to filter through. Ade stared at him in bewilderment. “I think it’s time for you to leave.”

Fergus shook his head, his face fixed in a tight-lipped, arrogant sneer as he used his body to steer Ade, until he was once again pinned to the wall. “We’re not done here.”

“I am,” Ade asserted bravely. If this was the end, he was going down fighting. A shadow forewarned of the blow and Ade braced himself.

“Damn you, Adrian. You make me so fucking mad.” Fergus flexed the fingers of the fist that had put a dent in the wall millimetres from Ade’s left cheek.

“No. You make yourself mad and try to blame me. That’s how it’s always been. That’s why we’re over. This rage that you direct at me—it was never meant for me, yet you choose to try to destroy me rather than face the truth. We’re finished for good, Ferg, and I truly am sorry. But it doesn’t change the fact that you need help so you can deal with whatever happened to turn you into this.”

“Don’t you dare blame me,” Fergus snarled. He reinstated his grip on Ade’s wrists. “I was never good enough for you. Everything I wanted, you threw back in my face, but you still made your demands.”

“What are you talking about?” Ade’s eyes were watering from resisting the urge to cry out at the pain in his wrists. It felt like his hands were going to burst.

“Kids, Adrian. Kids and houses and a fucking dog. All that time, I paid out so you could work for nothing, and still you wanted more. Yet you wonder why I’m angry? It must be fucking fantastic inside your little bubble, thinking the world revolves around you. But it’s never your fault, is it? It’s always fucking mine.”

This time, the fist made contact just below Ade’s shoulder blade, winding him. He doubled up and Fergus’s knee rose, but Ade’s reflexes kicked in and he grabbed Fergus’s leg, pulling it sideways and sending him crashing to the floor. Ade was out of his apartment before Fergus had a chance to move never mind retaliate. He banged on Mary’s door. It opened, and she pulled him inside.

“Call the police,” he gasped, still breathless from the punch.

“I already did, lovey. And Kris.”

On those words, Ade bolted.

“Ade! Come back. It’s safer here.”

“Need to warn him,” Ade said, hurtling down the stairs, out of the external door and straight into Kris.

“Whoa!” Kris grabbed him by both arms and kept hold.

“He’s…Kris…I…”

“All right,” Kris said calmly. “Slow down for me, Ade. That’s it. Take a breath.”

Ade was struggling to breathe at all, let alone deliver his warning, but it was too late. The door flew open, and Fergus stormed out of it, ramming into Ade and Kris hard enough for Kris to be thrown backwards, lose his footing on the kerb and fall into the road. Brakes screeched, and Ade screamed.

“No! Oh my god. No. Kris!”

He jumped in front of the stopped car, vaguely aware of movement around him, people running, blue lights. The car reversed and sped off, taking the blue lights with it.

“Mr. Simmons?”

Ade heard but wasn’t listening, his thoughts only on Kris. He crouched next to him, swiping away the tears blurring his vision. “Are you OK? Babe?”

“I’m OK. Are you?”

“Yes.” Laughing in relief, Ade held out his arm. Kris grasped his hand but then saw the burns around Ade’s wrist and let go, bearing his own weight. Once he was on his feet again, the two of them embraced and cried like babies. Mary and Benny had made it down the stairs and were standing in the doorway, watching.

“What a pair of pansies,” Benny said in a very loud voice.

“Benny!” Mary shouted .

Ade lifted his head from Kris’s shoulder, all set to give Benny a piece of his mind, soon discovering that Mary was already on the case and had clamped a hand over his mouth. Ade started laughing.

“Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Simmons…”

Ade turned to look behind him. “Oh. Sorry. I didn’t see you.”

The police officer smiled swiftly. “Can you tell me what’s happened here this evening?”

Ade nodded resolutely. “Yes, I can. Fergus Campbell forced his way into my apartment and physically assaulted me. I would like to make a formal statement, please.”

*

O nce the police were aware that Ade and Kris had been on their way to a night out, they took enough details to make the arrest and arranged for Ade to give a full statement the following morning. He and Kris made it to the pub before everyone moved on to a club. Not one person commented on Ade’s shirt being gaudy or out of fashion, though plenty took the time to tell him how great it was that he was able to come and how healthy and happy he looked. He was exhausted but determined to enjoy himself and drank and danced the whole night away.

At four in the morning, Ade and Kris staggered up the stairs to the apartment and flopped into bed, too drunk and too tired to consider anything more than sleeping.

A few hours later, they were up again, showered, dressed and talking to the police. Fergus had been held overnight and released on bail, on condition that he made no attempts to contact Ade, but it wasn’t enough. The phone calls started while the police were taking Ade’s statement, and they listened in, making a note of what was said before advising Ade to block Fergus’s number. This time, he did.

After the police left, Kris made tea and they sat in silence. Ade was trying not to think about how close he’d come to letting Fergus destroy everything again, but he was struggling .

“Do you want to talk about something else?” Kris asked.

“Yes, please.”

“OK, well, I’ll tell you again when you’re paying attention, but…after what you said about me auditioning for TV stuff, I asked my agent to keep me in mind if anything came up. She phoned yesterday to say that they’re auditioning for a new crime series. The main character needs to be fluent in English and Swedish and good at regional accents.”

“Oh, wow! That was written for you. Are you going for it?”

“I think I might.”

“That’s great, babe.” Ade gave Kris a congratulatory kiss and tried to be enthusiastic, but it was tough. His smile faded. “I’m going to have to move,” he said, finally resigned to the truth. The apartment had been his home before Fergus bullied his way into his life, but for as long as he knew where Ade lived, Fergus would never leave him alone.

“What will you do?” Kris asked. “Buy another place around here?”

Ade hadn’t thought any further ahead, but his mind was spinning now. If he moved somewhere else, Fergus would come after him at work instead, and much as he loved his job, he’d already wasted too many years living in constant fear and wondering when the next attack would happen. He wasn’t about to waste any more.

“I’m going to resign from the studio, go and stay with Jules for a bit until I get something sorted.”

“OK. I can see the logic in that,” Kris said diplomatically, because it sounded spur-of-the-moment, but it wasn’t.

“Of course,” Ade said, “that does depend on you to a certain extent.”

“Me? Why?”

“Well, it’s too far from Julia’s place to yours to just meet up for a drink and go back again, even once I’ve bought another car.” Ade paused, unsure if he could make the request. His common sense was telling him five weeks wasn’t long enough to conclude he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Kris, but that was how he felt.

“If you want to look for somewhere together, I’m OK—” Kris started to say, but Ade cut him off.

“No. Or at least, maybe, one day. I’ve seen how happy you and Shaunna are sharing your house, and I’d rather take it slowly, which isn’t to say I don’t think we’ll stay the distance. I want to be with you, Kris.”

Kris took Ade’s hand, kissing it over and over, doing a sterling job of ignoring the red ring and blossoming bruises around Ade’s wrist.

“So, what I was going to suggest,” Ade continued, “is—”

Kris pressed his finger lightly to Ade’s lips. “Can I just tell you this first?” Ade nodded mutely. “I love you, Ade Simmons.” Kris removed his finger, but Ade was speechless. “Carry on,” Kris prompted.

For several minutes, Ade remained still and quiet. He’d lost track of what he’d been saying, which all seemed so inconsequential now, although he did have big plans. For a while, he’d been considering setting up in business as a touring production company for gay performers. The only stumbling block had been the set-up costs, and if he sold the apartment, he could use the proceeds to get the business up and running. If it failed, he’d be homeless, but if Julia and Kris would support him, he stood a reasonable chance of succeeding. Kris’s love declaration simultaneously guaranteed his support and complicated matters, unless Ade felt the same way.

Unless Ade owned up to feeling the same way.

Get some balls, Simmons!

“Ade?”

“Yes, babe?”

“What were you going to tell me?”

“Apart from ‘I love you too’?”

“I didn’t say it with any expectation for you to say it back. You’ve been through a lot lately. ”

“And you’ve been through it with me. You’ve scooped me up from the floor—literally—and you’ve been shoved in front of oncoming traffic—again, literally. When I was walking home last night, I remembered what I’d said to you about still loving Fergus, but it’s not love, it’s obligation.” Ade took both of Kris’s hands and looked him in the eye. “I don’t ever want you to feel that kind of obligation to me.”

“That won’t happen.”

“What I mean is, don’t give up your life for me like I did for Fergus. I want to start my own business, and I’ll be relying on you because it’s the only way I can do it, but if we don’t work out, then—”

“I want you,” Kris said, no disguising his desire.

“What, now?”

“Yes, now. Right here, on your sofa.”

Ade’s eyebrows rose. “What happened to is this OK? and if it’s what you want… ?”

Kris shrugged and pushed Ade onto his back. “You were right. It should be good for me.”

“And this is good for you?”

“ You are good for me.”

“I am?”

Those were Ade’s last words before he once again succumbed to the charms of the handsome Scandinavian actor who had helped him find the strength to fight back and start to turn his life around. Whether it worked out or not, he had to admit that Kris was good for him too. For the first time in a long time, Ade felt optimistic, ready for the challenge. He was looking forward instead of watching his back. Cliché that it was, it was as if he had been roused from a deep, nightmarish sleep—or maybe this part was the dream because it all felt just a little too good to be true.

“Babe?”

“Mmm?”

“Pinch me. ”

Kris lifted on his arms and stared at Ade in horror. “Never.”

Ade smiled up at him. “I suppose a kiss would work just as well.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Just k—”

The rest was lost to that kiss, the much-needed confirmation that it wasn’t just a hopeful dream.

Ade was, finally, awake.