Curse of Stolen Flame (Firebird, #1)

CHAPTER 28

The pain was gone when Kindra woke up, replaced with the dull ache of exhaustion.

As she crawled back to consciousness, she became more aware of where she was. She felt the plush mattress beneath her, the silk of her bed sheets. She heard the low crackling of the fireplace and the voices of several people.

“She cannot start this with him,” somebody was saying, voice song-like even in anger. Helena.

“She’s not starting anything with him, Hel, she’s just trying to do what she can to protect her home.” That was Jasper.

“He’s going to treat this like another game—"

“I don’t think he will,” Emeline’s raspy timbre butted in. “I think he respects her, after today.”

“Em, you cannot be serious—” Helena’s voice was getting higher with every word.

Kindra made some kind of noise—a mix between a groan and a whimper, and they fell silent.

She opened her eyes and took in the scene before her.

She was in her room, tucked into her bed. Sitting in a chair at her side was Sala, who was dozing, her head drooping onto her chest. Her brown skin was waxen, her cheeks gaunt—Sala must have expended a lot of energy when healing her.

And across the room, by the fireplace, stood Helena, Emeline and Jasper, where they’d clearly been in intense conversation. They’d frozen where they stood, staring at her with wide eyes .

“How—" She tried to speak, but her throat was paper dry, choking off her voice as she fell into a coughing fit. This woke Sala, who scrambled to pour her a glass of water as the others rushed over.

“Kindra,” Jasper said her name like a prayer. He reached her first, crawling onto the bed towards her as she gulped down water. He looked a mess: his hair was disheveled, pulled in a hundred directions. He had discarded his jacket, leaving him in just his shirt and trousers. The top few buttons of his shirt were undone.

He brushed his fingers against her cheeks, her forehead. She let him, too tired to jerk away, even though she was uncomfortably aware of Helena and Emeline’s eyes on them.

“How do you feel?” he asked.

She pulled the glass away from her mouth. “Tired,” she answered, and he gave her a watery smile.

“I’m sure you are.” He tried to laugh, but it came out as a battered exhale instead.

Kindra studied him, then the others. They all wore similar expressions. She glanced at the windows. Outside, it was growing dark, the sun having just set, leaving the sky a smear of pink and purple.

“How bad.” She didn’t bother to phrase it as a question.

Helena shook her head. “Don’t worry about that. You’re all right, that’s all that matters. Sala did her duty beautifully.”

“How bad, Helena.”

The princess swallowed thickly. “It was bad, Kindra. You—when you collapsed—when Sala got you out of the nerushmyr… your whole side was—”

“It was practically black,” Jasper whispered. He looked haunted.

Kindra nodded slowly. “I thought—I thought I cracked a rib, when I hit the ground.”

Emeline snorted. “ A rib? Kindra, you broke three . It’s a damn miracle you didn’t have a punctured lung.”

Gods. “Well, Ryle was quite the opponent.” She paused. “Speaking of him, is—"

“He’s fine,” Helena soothed her worries. “The Healers patched him up good as new. He’s resting now but will be back on duty in a couple days.”

She nodded again, feeling very fragile. “And I’m—I’m okay? ”

“You’re okay, my Lady,” Sala said, voice thin and weak. She reached out and rested her hand on Kindra’s. It was clammy and cold, so unlike the warm touch she was used to. “I wasn’t strong enough—to mend everything entirely. You will be sore, but nothing more.”

Kindra squeezed her Healer’s hand. “Sala, thank you. A little soreness is nothing I can’t handle. I didn’t have you to soothe away my every ache and twinge in Harthwin, remember?”

The young woman smiled, some color returning to her pallid cheeks. “No, I suppose you did not.”

Kindra looked at Jasper, who still looked shaken. She reached out and gently laid a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry if I scared you.” She glanced at Helena and Emeline as well. “All of you.”

Emeline sighed, sitting on the foot of the bed. “I’m going to be honest, there was a minute when we thought you were fucking dead, Kindra. Healers can only do so much. There’s some damage even the most powerful of them can’t mend.”

“I-I know,” Kindra whispered, staring down at the blankets.

“Hel wants to lecture you,” she continued, ignoring her wife’s attempt to silence her, “about all sorts of things. She wants you to stop sparring.” Kindra flinched. “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Emeline said. “I told her there was zero chance of that happening. I mean, you just beat a Windspinner, and one of our best, at that. We can’t stop you now. But she’s concerned about what message you’ve sent the king, what this might have started.” Emeline sighed. “What likely started the day you tried to get into the War Chamber.”

“I wasn’t trying—” Kindra looked up, eyes wide.

Emeline’s blue gaze was sympathetic. “To start anything. We know. The king asked you to prove yourself, so you did.”

“It’s just that the more attention he gives you and the more respect you manage to earn, the more furious he will be,” Helena interrupted, speaking quickly. “When—you know.”

Kindra leaned her head back into the pillows. “Yeah. I know.” She gazed up at the ceiling, focusing intently on Cyrie’s glowing face. Exhaustion weighed her down, pulling her deeper into the bed.

“Let’s leave her to rest.” Sala stood and began to gently shepherd the rest of them out. “I’m going to go fetch you some dinner, Lady Kindra. ”

Kindra grabbed Jasper’s hand before he got up. “Stay. Just for a minute,” she whispered. He settled back down on the bed. Emeline and Helena said their goodbyes, promising to stop by tomorrow, and then they and Sala were gone, leaving Kindra and Jasper alone.

“Are you all right?” she asked as soon as the door shut.

He chuckled. “You should not be the one asking that question, Kindra.”

“Still. Are you?”

He traced circles on her hand with his thumb. “Yes,” was his answer when he finally spoke. “But I wasn’t. From the moment I walked in and saw my father sitting there to the second you woke up, I wasn’t all right.”

“I appreciate you not trying to stop me.”

“I can’t imagine it would have gone over well with you or my father if I’d tried. Besides, I knew what it meant, him being there. The chance it gave you.”

“Yes, well, we’ll see what good it did me, in the end,” she sighed, heavy with resignation. “If what Helena said is true, and this is just a game to him—”

“If you were anybody else, it would be. He’d move the goal posts until you ended up getting yourself killed, because your life would be meaningless to him. But you proved yourself today, in front of most of the court, as well. And those that weren’t there have already heard all about it.” He rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “You’ve gained their admiration very quickly.”

Or their fear. “That’s nice, I suppose.”

Jasper started to speak, then closed his mouth, clearly considering his next words very carefully. “I don’t… I don’t want you to think that I only sit there and worry, as I watch you train,” he began, speaking very slowly. “I also love to see you use your magic. I think it’s magnificent. You have no idea how you look. It’s like… I can’t really describe it. When you threw that dagger at Ryle and then limped, bloodied, over to him, and still— still —you surrounded him with fire, demanding his surrender… I know you don’t like it, but even I understood then why people are saying you’re Scaldor-blessed.”

Oh. That was new. She hadn’t heard that yet .

“They all believe I’m going to break it, don’t they?” She felt very frightened all of a sudden.

Jasper squeezed her hand. “Let’s—let’s not worry about that right now, okay?” He smiled thinly. “We still have to get married. And actually have a—”

“Let’s not worry about that , please.” She shifted awkwardly, face burning. As comfortable around Jasper as she was getting, the thought of that still made her stomach turn with fear.

A beat of uncomfortable silence stretched between them, broken by a knock on her door, followed by the entrance of Sala, who held a tray laden with steaming food.

“I brought two meals, in case His Highness was staying for dinner.” She set the tray down on the bed. On it were two bowls of a thick, hearty vegetable stew, along with a loaf of freshly baked bread and a slab of butter.

“Would you like me to eat with you?” Jasper asked.

“That would be nice, thank you,” Kindra mumbled, her stomach rumbling as she took in the food.

Sala placed a kind of table across her lap, then set the tray atop it. She poured the both of them glasses of water, then curtsied. “If you need anything, I will be just outside.”

“Where’s Cerulle?”

Sala blinked. “She’s posted outside as well, my Lady.”

“I think just Cerulle is fine for tonight, Sala,” Kindra decided. “You can go rest. If I need something Cerulle can’t handle on her own, we’ll be sure to call for you.”

The Healer’s shoulders slumped with exhausted relief. “Thank you, my Lady.”

Alone with Jasper once more, Kindra focused on her bowl of stew. She reached for her spoon, only to be halted by Jasper’s hand.

“Let me.” He grabbed the spoon and dipped it into the stew.

“I can feed myself,” she protested, moving to take it from him, but he shook his head.

“I know. But how long has it been since you’ve let somebody take care of you?”

She frowned. “Cerulle and Sala take care of me. ”

“That’s their job. How long has it been since you’ve let somebody care for you simply because they wanted to?”

Years. It had been years since she’d let somebody feed her like this. Even her own mother had learned not to try since she became a teenager, except for one time at seventeen when she’d been so ill she could hardly move her mouth to chew. Even the village Healer’s magic hadn’t been enough to help her.

Grumbling, she opened her mouth. Jasper grinned, victorious, and brought the spoonful to her lips.

The stew was delicious, of course, warming her to her bones. She accepted the next bite from Jasper much more willingly, and before she knew it, he’d fed her the whole bowl.

Still hungry, she reached out and dug into the bread, dragging it through the remains of the soup as Jasper finally fed himself.

After they were both finished, he took the table off the bed and the tray of dishes to the door, handing them to Cerulle. Then he came back to the bed and settled down next to her once more.

Kindra was feeling sleep beckon, and she snuggled down into the blankets, yawning. Jasper watched her, fondness sketched plainly across his face.

“Thank you for feeding me,” she murmured.

“Thank you for letting me.” His eyes darted away, flitting around the room once before settling back on her. “I didn’t know if you’d ever let me do that,” he admitted. “I didn’t know if you’d ever even let me touch you unless you had to.”

She was too tired to flinch, but her chest twisted. “Well, you didn’t exactly make the best first impression. Why…why didn’t you act like this? When you came to get me?”

“You would’ve thought it was a ruse. And I thought it would make it easier to get you to come without resistance if I acted like an asshole.” He winced under Kindra’s sharp glare. “Sorry.”

Her spark of anger died. “It’s all right. I guess I understand. And it worked.”

“I hated doing it,” he whispered. “And I hated the fact that you believed it even more. My father, my brothers—they thought I should keep it up at least until we were married, if not forever, because of how important you are, how necessary it is that you’re compliant and obedient.” He winced again. “Their words, not mine. And I think they were hoping I’d finally become less soft , as they’ve often called me. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t even last three days.” He shook his head. “That doesn’t make me a good person, I know. But even though I’ve had to give up my ability to choose who I marry, I can’t… I can’t give up the chance to make that marriage a happy one.”

Kindra said nothing. She didn’t know what there was to say, really. “Thank you,” she repeated, when she finally spoke, her eyes drifting shut. “You are a good person, Jasper.”

Jasper didn’t respond, just took her hand and squeezed it lightly as she slipped into sleep.

When she awoke the next morning, he was gone. But there was a head-shaped dent in the pillow next to her, and the surface of her blankets were ruffled in a way that suggested somebody had spent the night sleeping atop them.