Curse of Stolen Flame (Firebird, #1)

CHAPTER 56

Despite his obvious pain and discomfort, Jasper smiled at her when she entered.

Cocooned in his bed, her husband’s face was pale and gaunt, his eyes bleary. He looked terrible. Judging by the way his gaze flashed with concern, so did she. Tomas left them with a swift bow.

The two silently regarded each other for a few seconds, as if they were both processing that the other was alive.

“Well,” Jasper spoke first, voice hoarse, “how’s that for a wedding night?”

Kindra could not even bring herself to fake a chuckle. “Your father just told me he wants me to fight in the war.”

Any humor drained abruptly from his expression. “What?”

She nodded and rose from her chair. Her knees wobbled slightly, but she slowly limped her way over to his bed and crawled onto it, settling down next to him. She stared up at the ceiling, unable to look directly at him as she spoke. “He says he wants to use me sparingly. But he expects me to use it. My… power.”

“But it doesn’t work like that.”

“He knows, Jasper. He set it all up. He mentioned Scalya on purpose to me at the ball because he knew you’d suggest the journals, and he knew I’d read them.” A tear rolled down her cheek and she didn’t bother to wipe it away. “He essentially told me the only thing that could get me killed is my own foolishness, and we both know what he meant by that.”

She felt Jasper’s eyes on her. “We’ll find a way to get you out of this. You’re not a weapon, Kindra. ”

She turned to look at him then and smiled sadly. “Yes, I am, Jasper. I always have been. But I was a weapon I could control.” She let out a shaky breath. “But I’m not the one in control anymore. Since the second you came to get me, I haven’t been in control. Those days are over.”

“Hey.” Jasper reached out a hand and touched her cheek. It was cold and clammy against her skin. “That’s not true.”

“I thought we were past you trying to sell me bullshit.” No bite in her voice. Just defeat. Exhaustion.

He was silent; there was nothing to really say, after all.

“I’ll come with you, obviously,” he finally said. “I don’t want to hear any arguments.”

But Kindra only nodded fervently, her face crumpling under the weight of her relief. She hadn’t wanted to ask him outright, but she’d known from the second the king demanded this of her that the only way she’d survive it would be with Jasper at her side.

He tugged her closer to him, holding her as tightly as he could without hurting either of them.

She pulled away from him after a few moments, raising her head to look him in the eyes. “I love you,” she said—finally. Finally . She felt a weight ease from her as she did. “I should have said it before I raced off to fight. I should have—I should have said it weeks ago.”

“You’re saying it now,” Jasper said hoarsely, looking as if he might cry. “Oh, how I’ve dreamed of hearing those words.” He pulled in and kissed her, feather soft. “I love you, my beautiful, brave wife. We’ll get through this together, Kindra.”

“Even if we have to run?” she asked, needing to know if what he’d told her a few weeks ago was still true. “Because Jasper, I don’t—I don’t think I can be what he wants me to be. I can’t walk onto a battlefield and just call on Scaldor to win this war. I wouldn’t want to do that even if I could. The brutality, the murder he’s asking—forcing—me to commit—”

Jasper’s hands cupped her face, snapping her out of her spiral. “Yes. Even if we have to run, Kindra. At the ball, watching you use that power…” A shudder ran through him. “You are right. It is an awful, awful thing. I don’t understand how my father saw that and felt anything other than terror. ”

“I think terror is exactly what he felt,” she replied, “and that’s why he is doing this now. Fire is only useful when it can be controlled, Jasper. If you allow it to go unchecked…” She shrugged. “You said it yourself, remember?”

He nodded as he recalled his warning to her, that first night in the castle. “I shouldn’t have expected anything different. I guess I just didn’t think he’d do this when we still have the curse to think about.”

“He doesn’t give a damn about the curse. He said as much. I don’t think he believes I can break it any more than we do, honestly. At least, not through the bloodline.” She grimaced, feeling sick.

“Does a curse really matter if all your enemies are dead? If Alverin wins, once and for all?” Jasper murmured, voicing her thoughts aloud. Because Kindra knew what the king was thinking. She’d read those journals. They’d both read Scalya’s passages on the mass destruction she caused when channeling Scaldor.

Kindra’s panic swelled again. “I will not be a tool for mass murder, Jasper. I just won’t. I love the people of this kingdom, and I don’t want them to suffer, but…”

“I know,” Jasper said, cradling her. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “And I would never ask that of you. Hel and Em wouldn’t, your mother wouldn’t. I don’t think even the people of Alverin would. So, we will go, if we have to.” She grabbed hold of his promise and tucked it away in her heart.

“You are the brightest light in my life, Kindra,” he said. “I’ll do anything I can to keep you from burning out.”

Three days later, Emeline appeared at Kindra’s door, alone.

“May I speak with you?” Emeline asked, unusually hesitant.

“Oh, I suppose I could spare the time,” Kindra replied drily, waving her hand to indicate just how busy she was, which was to say, not at all. She’d been practically bedridden since her initial waking. Even her brief visit with the king and Jasper had drained her for an entire day. Her body still ached horribly. Even the simplest of movements were agonizing.

At least tonight, the Head Healer had cleared her to sleep with Jasper in his chambers. The two of them were finally recovered enough that the Head Healer was not worried about them hurting themselves with whatever activities they might get up to. But as much as Kindra wanted to lose herself in Jasper, she was still not feeling physically up to it, and it didn’t seem like Jasper was, either.

Her joke did not bring a smile to Emeline’s eyes like she thought it would. The Wavebreaker gave nothing more than a small, stiff smile, and came to sit at Kindra’s bedside.

“Emeline, what’s wrong?” Kindra asked, concerned at the lack of her friend’s usual spark.

Emeline did not answer. “I’m very glad to see you are recovering smoothly,” she said instead.

Kindra reached for humor again. “Oh, I don’t know if you could call this a smooth recovery,” she joked lightly. “I practically cry every time I have to get out of bed.” Again, nothing more than a twitch of Emeline’s lips. “And I’m glad to see that you and Helena were unharmed in the attack,” she added seriously.

Emeline nodded, looking away. “I’m very relieved as well. It was horrible enough to witness you and Jasper and Antone getting injured. I don’t know what I would have done if Hel had been injured as well.” Something akin to guilt flashed across her face.

Kindra studied her closely. “Emeline, what is it? This isn’t like you.” It was making her uneasy.

There was a brief silence, where Emeline appeared to be searching for the courage to speak. When she found it, what she said rocked Kindra to her core. If she were not already sitting, it would have knocked the world out from under her.

“What if I told you there was a way to break the curse? One that doesn’t involve heirs?”

For a moment, Kindra could only stare. Then she said, slowly, “What do you mean?”

“Exactly what I just said. That there’s a way to break it, and you wouldn’t have to do any of this bullshit.”

“What is it, then?” Kindra pressed, feeling hopeful for the first time in days.

“Ah,” Emeline looked away. “I can’t tell you right now.”

“Em. Come on. ”

“I’m serious. It’s not—it’s not safe, right now.” There was fear—real fear—in Emeline’s blue eyes when she looked back at her. Telling this to her was clearly a huge risk, though what exactly she was risking, Kindra wasn’t sure.

“Okay.” Kindra took a deep breath, wincing as she did so. “So when can you tell me?”

Emeline relaxed slightly, some of the tension bleeding from her shoulders. “In two days. Midnight. Tess will be waiting for you outside of your chambers. Or Jasper’s, if you decide to move to his.”

“I have to wait two whole days?”

Emeline nodded. “Yes. I’m sorry, but we just—things have to be arranged, that’s all.”

Gods. What was this? “Who’s we? You and Tess?” She tried to ignore the stab of betrayal she felt; how long had Tess and Emeline been hiding this? Something she’d hoped so much for these last few months? How long had they known there was another way? She tried to remind herself that she didn’t know what the other way was; it could be something impossible.

“Yes, and—well, you’ll see. It’s—” Emeline took another deep, stabilizing breath. “It’s the only way, Kindra. Know that.” Again, that flash of guilt and apology.

“Okay,” Kindra said softly, feeling like she was speaking to a frightened child. “I can wait.”

“Great.” Emeline stood; her mission accomplished. “I have to tell Tess that you’ve agreed. I will stop by again soon; perhaps we can share a meal together? Get some semblance of normalcy back.” She smiled at Kindra, some of the light returning to her eyes.

Kindra tried to return it, but her head was spinning with all the new information. “Yes, that would be nice.”

Emeline’s exit was swift, and Kindra was left wondering how, in such a brief conversation, everything had been turned completely upside down.

She knew one thing for certain: if there was even a chance of there being another way, a chance for her to regain her freedom, a chance for her to not be the king’s personal weapon—she would at least hear them out. It would kill her to not know.

She hoped this discovery wouldn’t tear her away from the person she loved, but she had a feeling there was no way it could be that simple.