Cursed by Bandits (Once Upon A Curse)

30. Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty

I couldn’t sleep. It wasn’t because I wasn’t tired. Exhaustion had taken up residence in every part of my body except my brain. I tossed and turned, thoughts racing through my head faster than a galloping horse. One thought kept coming back: why was Milo so insistent on participating in the tournament? At first, I believed that it was to help me out. Maybe he would try to position himself as my opponent and let me win, but that hadn’t happened. Instead, I watched him have his ass handed to him in the joust and him struggle, winning by the smallest margin in almost every other event. He had managed to stay in the top five contestants, barely .

In a fit, I threw off the covers. There was no reason for me to lay here in bed with all these questions when I could just go ask him. Especially if it would ease my mind so I could finally get some sleep.

I changed into my favorite black pants and tunic, for once leaving my room feeling like myself instead of someone else. I crept through the hall, once again sticking to the shadows until I was standing outside of the keep and in front of Milo’s lab.

I stood in front of his door wondering what I was doing there, if I should turn around and go back to my room. I took a deep breath, the chilled night air filling my lungs, and raised my hand to knock. My hand stopped and hovered there, inches away from the door. I wasn’t sure if this was a good idea, but after everything, shouldn’t I be allowed to ask him questions and get honest answers? I rapped on the door a few times and waited.

The only sound to reach my ears was silence, at least at first. After a few moments, I could hear footsteps approaching. The door opened with a deafening creak that pierced the quiet of the night. I looked around, worried someone would hear the noise, investigate, and find me standing alone at night in front of a man’s home. That’s how nervous I was .

From behind the door, Milo’s face appeared. His eyes widened in surprise. “Rowan? It’s late. What are you doing here?”

I glanced around yet again, this feeling of being constantly on edge, waiting to be caught, wearing on my psyche. “I need to talk to you. Can I come in?”

He opened the door wider, stepping to the side so I could get through. Upon entering, I was hit with an array of scents from various herbal concoctions. I always forgot that he did more than invent things, that he was always looking for herbal remedies, better ways to grow food, and so much more. Milo’s lab was a chaotic smattering of beakers, scrolls, and other devices. The cluttered space, so much like my room, helped to put me at ease.

He cleaned off a stool so I could sit.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Milo leaned against his workbench, knocking a few things over as he did so. He tried to catch them, but they only ricocheted off his hands. He bent down to pick them up and his glasses slipped off the top of his head and clattered on the ground. “For fuck’s sake. Really?” He put the items down, grabbed his glasses from the floor, and shoved them on his face.

I stood and looked around at the table and all the papers on it, pausing when I saw drawings of some buildings. “I don’t understand why you’re taking part in the tournament. I thought it was to help me win, take the loss if you had to, but after today, I know there’s some other reason. I need to know what it is.”

Milo’s expression was unreadable as we stared at each other, and he sighed. “I knew you would ask, eventually. I even tried to tell you the other day, but you were so tired. I have plans for something that I think will be great here in Lockersley.”

“So you entered to try to win me, like I’m some sort of trophy instead of a human being?” I turned to leave. Did I really need to hear any more?

Milo grabbed my hand, preventing me from walking out the door.

“No, it’s not like that at all. There’s something I want to do for the town, but I don’t have the funds for it. There’s a monetary prize for the runners’ up. I was hoping I could at least place and get some prize money for my project. And if I did win, I would give you the choice of marrying me or not. I would never assume you would choose me and I would always want you to feel in control of the outcome in your life. You’re not a trophy or a prize.”

I frowned, trying to reconcile his constant support with what he was saying right now. It felt like he had been lying to me this entire time. “But why now? While I’m risking everything to win this for Lockersley? You’ve become my actual competition.”

He met my gaze and grimaced upon seeing something in my eyes he didn’t like. “It really wasn’t ever like that. I believe in you and what you’re doing. I never believed I would beat you. I couldn’t when we were teenagers. Why would it be different now? But if I could just reach the top three, everything would have worked out perfectly. I could have continued carrying out my plan, and you and Lockersley would get everything you need. But after today, it doesn’t look like I’ll finish in the top three.”

“What do you need the money for? What is your plan? You know all of mine. Why are you hiding yours? I want to know what you want for yourself, for Lockersley.” My voice was soft, disguising the anger I was trying to contain. I needed to know more because his answers had so far left a huge gap in reasoning. Something wasn’t adding up, and it felt like the betrayal was growing because of the unknown.

He hesitated for a moment, then nodded and grabbed the drawings I noticed earlier. He pushed them towards me. “It all has to do with that.”

I raised an eyebrow, still very unsure of what I was looking at.

“I want to open a school. Not one for children to learn how to read and write, but something that will have more of an effect on the area. I could teach advanced farming techniques, the mixing of herbs for medicinal purposes, how to build something that’s just an idea in your head. I’ve been working on it since before your father passed.” Milo paused for a moment, shoving his hand through his hair and pinching the bridge of his nose. “He was going to sponsor it. But then everything changed. I know there’s no use going to your uncle.”

“Is this why you’re always late? You’re working on these plans.” I looked down at the drawings. It would be a wonderful addition to the town.

“Yes and no, I’m late because I’ve already started tutoring some people. The stable boy, Thomas, is one. His mind is very mechanical, a lot like mine. When we’re working, I’m always losing track of time.” Milo’s eyes lit up as he spoke, and excitement danced across his face.

I felt betrayed. We had been working together since I had formulated my first plan for Lockersley, and he had kept this all to himself. Did he think I wouldn’t care about the things he wanted to do, that I only cared about myself and my goals?

“Why didn’t you come to me? I could have helped . . . No, I would have helped. All that gold we stole from my uncle’s room—some of it could have been set aside. ”

His head snapped towards mine as he heard the hurt laced through my words. “I wasn’t intentionally keeping things from you. You were dealing with enough. Some would say, too much.”

He reached for me, but I backed away, not ready for physical contact because I knew it would only confuse me.

I looked at him as he shifted from one foot to another, his hands twisting some tool of his. “You should have let me in. Given me the opportunity to support you the way you’ve been supporting me.”

“But . . .” He started to say something that would defend his choices.

“No buts. I’ve always thought of us as partners. Even before I left. We support each other. It’s never a one-way thing, and it never should be,” I explained.

“You’re right. It just didn’t seem important, and you had so much weighing you down. I didn’t want to be another thing dragging you down when I could lift you up, or at least shoulder some of your burden.”

I shook my head. “As chivalrous as that sounds, it’s only taking away my ability to make choices for myself. Maybe I would have told you I couldn’t help with the school just yet. That I had other things I needed to focus on, or maybe I would have jumped in and been right beside you trying to get it built. But you will never know because you chose for me. Don’t ever do that again.” It was impossible for me to put into words how I was feeling. I wasn’t angry with him, but there was something else . . .betrayal, untrustworthy . . . like I wasn’t worth confiding in.

I wrapped my arms around him and laid my head on his chest. “Thank you for telling me, even though you should have told me sooner. As often as you tell me I’m not alone, you should know that you have my support as well. And if you weren’t sure of that, I’m sorry.”

Milo was stiff in my embrace at first, but as I spoke, he leaned into me, his arms encircling me. “It’s not that at all. I didn’t want to burden you. You came home to find out your father had died and your uncle was driving your hometown into poverty. Then you were so determined to fix it all— I couldn’t give you anything else to worry about.”

I looked up at him but didn’t let go. “I get to decide what I’m capable of doing, not you or anyone else.” I laid my head back on his chest before I got a crick in my neck. “And if I haven’t said it before, thank you for believing in me. Just . . . be careful, okay?”

He nodded before he kissed my forehead. I could feel the small smile on his lips. “I will. And you get some rest, alright? You’ve got a big day tomorrow. ”

I stood on my toes and pressed my lips to his. “You too. Goodnight, Milo. I’ll see you in the morning.”

As I left his lab and made my way back to my room, I couldn’t help but think about our conversation. We were all fighting our own battles, struggling to reach our own goals. It was important that we work together, because together we would find a way to win.