Cursed by Darkness (Once Upon A Curse)

10. Bodin

TEN

Bodin

Centuries passed with generation after generation killing each other. The battle of light versus dark seemed never-ending, and Ronna couldn’t ignore it anymore. In secret, she took the form of a woman, and with the help of her people who cherished unity above all else, she began to scheme. But in her planning, she never took into account the one other thing humans seemed to fight over most… Love.

S weet peals of laughter drifted into the dining room before Juniper and Laurent did.

As much as Bodin enjoyed seeing the two happy, the sight of them together had started irritating him lately. Especially when Juniper had been distant with him over the past few days. Ever since that woman told her that he was dangerous, his wife had become quiet around him, almost shy. They continued eating together, but she had avoided him the rest of the time when she could. Even their evening chats had become nights of silently sitting together.

He hated that as soon as she walked into a room and saw him, her smile faded.

He hated that he couldn’t tell if she now watched him with fear or pity in those beautiful green eyes.

He hated all of it, even if he knew it was for the best.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. But somehow, here he was, caring about the woman he’d met mere weeks ago.

Juniper and Laurent strode in, chatting with wide smiles on their faces and their arms linked. The two had become close; it was evident to anyone who saw them together. Bodin had no reason to suspect anything was going on—he knew his best friend would never cross that line—but the fact that Juniper seemed so open and joyous with Laurent instead of him…

He pushed to his feet as they neared to pull her chair out, nearly toppling his own in the process. He could have sworn Laurent rolled his eyes, but the man didn’t comment as he rounded the table to the other side. Juniper paused for a moment before taking the seat. “Thank you.”

“How was your day?” Bodin returned to his own place at the head of the table. The truth was, he’d started missing her throughout his days. And it was weighing on him.

“Well, thank you.” She filled her plate with chicken and potatoes while a maid poured her wine. “Nadine walked with us down to one of the streams, and we had a picnic for lunch.”

“And what were you two discussing when you came in? You seemed amused.” He glanced from her to Laurent on his right.

The latter smirked, as if he understood exactly why Bodin was asking. As if he could see through the fa?ade straight to the jealousy. “Oh, you know, just trying to convince her to run away from the monster with me. She’s in denial, but I have no doubt she’ll realize how deep our love is soon.”

Bodin knew the man was teasing him. He knew Laurent was only trying to get a rise out of him. And yet, hearing his fear joked about out loud set off his temper. He glared at his friend, his chest heaving with each breath.

A soft hand landed on Bodin’s arm, and he realized he was bending his fork from gripping it so tightly. He tossed it onto his plate.

“Stop,” Juniper said, entwining their fingers instead of pulling away like he’d assumed she would. Like his strength and anger didn’t frighten her in the slightest—a confusing concept considering the way she had kept her distance recently. “Ignore him, Bo.”

Hearing his nickname on her tongue for the first time steadied his heart and mind.

“He’s being extra obscene today. I was telling him that I wanted to ask you about which door to go through next.” When he finally turned his attention to her, she beamed at him. “I was hoping maybe you could accompany me tomorrow.”

Other than to get Juniper out that first day, Bodin hadn’t been through one of the portals in years.

He knew Juniper had returned to the meadow portal a couple more times; he’d felt her in there. She had also visited one that opened into a snowy forest with a path that led to a small cozy cabin, as well as a door that had a beach on the sea along with a beautiful gazebo also set up for a light meal. He should suggest taking Nadine there next time; she loved sitting on the sand with her toes in the water. Did Juniper even know Nadine was aware of the doors? He hadn’t told her, but he wasn’t sure if Laurent had or not.

“I told her it might not be possible with so much going on,” Laurent said in a more serious tone, giving him an out. He knew how big of a deal this was, how long it had been since Bodin had used the doors himself.

But he wanted to do this with her. “No, it’s fine. Actually, would you like to go after dinner?”

Juniper’s eyes widened, her lips curving upward. “Really?”

Taking a chance, he lifted her hand to kiss the back. “On one condition.”

“What?” She raised a dubious brow, even as her cheeks turned pink. He loved seeing how she reacted to his touch, especially when it showed just how unafraid she was of him.

Squeezing her hand, he said, “I get to pick the door.”

Bodin’s heart raced in his chest as they descended to the familiar round room. He took in the doors, refusing to look at the last one on his left.

He’d asked Richard to stay behind, which was more difficult than negotiating this entire marriage deal and getting Rafe to let him retrieve Juni before he left—he was beginning to wonder if these men were capable of being anything but difficult where his wife was concerned. Eventually, the man caved, but only after arming Juniper with a dagger and informing them that if she didn’t return within an hour, he would come in looking for her. To which Bodin had to remind Richard that he was the king, and she was, in fact, the queen, so if they wanted to spend the rest of the night alone in one of the magical lands, they would. The man had relented with a huff. Bodin saw the fierce protectiveness he had over Juniper and couldn’t fault him for that.

I promise nothing will happen to her. She’s safe with me , he had vowed before leaving.

Her hand slipped into Bodin’s, bringing him back to the present, and he tore his eyes away from the portals to look at his wife. She stared up at him in silent question, as if she could sense his reluctance. Fingers entwined, he led her to the seventh door from the right and stopped. “Have you been in this one yet?”

He knew the answer but wanted to see how she answered. She shook her head. “No, I keep going to the first because it’s so peaceful. I’ve also gone through the third and fourth.”

“I know.” Bodin chuckled and held his free hand out.

“Laurent told you?” She put the iron keys in his palm, and he selected the correct one for the intricately carved door that looked like a starry night sky over trees with swirls twisting between the many trunks, branches, and leaves.

“Something like that.” He unlocked the portal but waited to open it.

“Then, why’d you ask if you already knew?”

Bodin leaned closer to press a gentle kiss to her temple. Not answering, he instead told her, “There’s plenty of time, but you should visit the rest to see if another sparks your interest more.”

Juniper smiled and accepted his avoidance of her question. She seemed to do that a lot—sense when a topic was too sensitive for him to discuss just yet. And without fail, she always dropped it and moved on. “Will you visit them with me?”

He opened his mouth then shut it, unsure what to say. “It seems like you enjoy Laurent’s company. Would you not prefer to go with him?”

“Laurent has become a good friend, and I do like coming here with him.” She squeezed his hand and angled toward him, as if making sure he was really listening to her. “But he’s not you, Bodin. He’s not my husband; you are. And I’d like to spend more time with you if I’m being honest.”

Letting a long breath out, he said in a soft tone, “After what that woman told you, I wasn’t sure how you felt. You’ve been keeping your distance, so I thought…”

She shook her head with something akin to horror in her gaze. “Not because I believed her.”

“Then, why?” He couldn’t keep the pain from leaking into his voice.

Juniper stared at him for a moment, as if debating on how to reply. Taking a deep breath, she started rambling.

“Because I hate that they think that of you. Because I want to yell at everyone who cowers away from you that they’re wrong, even though I’ve only known you for a few weeks.” She lifted a hand to his cheek, and it didn’t escape his notice that she touched the scars without a second thought. “Because you don’t let them see this wonderful man who I’m starting to…” Sighing, she stepped back and dropped her arms to her sides, seeming to need space to finish what she wanted to say. “I just hate that you close yourself off from them even while offering everything you can to help them. And it fucking terrifies me that I feel so strongly.”

“Juniper,” he whispered in disbelief. She really felt that way? Reaching for her, he hugged her close and kissed the top of her head. His pulse quickened as she held on to him just as tightly. “I’m scared too. I didn’t expect this.” I didn’t expect you .

“I’m sorry I was distant. It’s also been…”

He pushed her back enough to see her face. “What?”

“For years, I spent most of my time alone in a tower. Having so much freedom, seeing so many people every day, it’s been a little… overwhelming.”

Shit . Bodin hadn’t really considered that. “That’s why you keep returning to the meadow, why you stay in our bedroom so often.”

She nodded, and the walls around his heart crumbled a little more.

“If it’s too much?—”

“No,” Juniper said quickly. “I love it, truly. I just need a break at times. I need to retreat to my solitude.”

Bodin swallowed, hesitating to ask his next question. “Would it be all right if I retreated with you on occasion? We don’t have to speak or anything, but could I sit with you in our room? Explore these portals with you when we need to escape it all?”

Her smile returned in full as she nodded. “I would like that very much.”

“Then, let’s start here.” He moved to open the door he’d unlocked. Juniper gasped and stepped forward through the portal, ever the eager woman wanting more in life, and it brought him an unexpected joy to be able to give that to her through these portals that he’d kept secret for so long. Bodin followed her into the dark forest.

“Bo…” she whispered.

He walked ahead of her so that he could turn back and watch her. The strings of small lanterns glowing in the trees overhead reflected in her wide green eyes. Her other hand lifted to cover her mouth.

“Welcome to my favorite place.” He led her down the twisting path, lined on either side by luminous flowers in an array of blues and purples. Fireflies fluttered around, and quiet music floated on the light wind. All of it combined to create the most magical, ethereal setting.

At the end of the path was a clearing big enough for tables and chairs. He always thought it would be perfect for a ceremony. Right now, a lone bench sat at the center. Even empty though, with just a single place to sit there, the space had a sense of serenity and happiness he rarely found elsewhere.

“This is your favorite spot?” Juniper asked as they lowered onto the bench.

“Yes. I used to come here to relax, to think, to remember…” He looked down at the grass.

She leaned into his side. “To remember?”

“My first wife, Camille.” He pulled away, immediately wanting to take back the words. “I’m sorry. You don’t want to hear?—”

“Stop,” she said, cutting off his apology. “You don’t have to hide your pain from me or pretend you never loved another woman.”

Bodin swallowed past the lump in his throat, his mind catching onto one specific word in that sentence. Another . Refocusing, he said, “I made this portal in memory of her. We used to visit a similar place near her childhood home. It didn’t have the music or magical flowers, of course, but it was peaceful and felt enchanted all the same. I haven’t been here in a while…”

Juniper tilted his chin toward her, making him meet her understanding gaze. “Thank you for bringing me here.” After a moment of what seemed like hesitation, she asked, “What was she like?”

Her question caught him off guard. When he remarried the first time, Beatrice hated hearing Camille’s name, let alone details about their time together.

Maybe it was strange to bring her here, and were she anyone else, he might have doubted her motives, but Juniper seemed genuine in everything she did and said. He hadn’t really thought too much about it before choosing this door; he’d just wanted to share meaningful moment with her. It felt so natural having her with him. A warm breeze drifted by, letting him take a deep breath and giving him the courage to continue. He laced their fingers together again. “I’d known Camille most of my life. She was the daughter of one of my father’s advisors, who was a nobleman. We weren’t really friends, but as you know, the life of a royal can be lonely at times.”

He immediately cursed himself. She didn’t have the same childhood as most royals. Her loneliness had been because she had truly been left alone. By her family. He still didn’t understand why. She said it was for her protection, but from what? None of her brothers had been kept apart from the rest of the world.

“Sorry…” he started.

“It’s all right. Keep going.”

It wasn’t all right, but that was a conversation for another time. Perhaps the next time Rafe came to visit, as he’d promised he would. So, Bodin kept going. “Whenever there was a gathering, we usually ended up together, avoiding our parents’ friends. As I got older, I sought her out more and more outside of events because I…”

“What?”

He sighed. “I really shouldn’t be talking about her with you.”

It wasn’t fair to this sweet young woman.

“It’s fine. I promise.” When he didn’t continue, she angled toward him and pulled one leg up under her as she said, “I know that most wouldn’t want to hear about another woman that their husband was in love with, but I’m under no illusions about this marriage, Bodin. I know you don’t love me, and probably never will. But I’d like to be friends. I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything.”

There was that word again. Another . He couldn’t bring himself to tell her she was wrong about what their marriage would mean, but he also couldn’t agree and say he would never fall for her. As much as he didn’t want to, she was making it very difficult, so he didn’t address the former statement, simply choosing to say, “I’d like that too.”

Juniper nodded. “Good. So, tell me more.”

He smiled, feeling lighter than he thought possible. “When my father suggested it was time to look for a wife, I knew I wanted it to be her. We’d grown close, so I asked her privately if she would be interested. I didn’t want to put her on the spot in front of everyone else. But it didn’t matter, she still said no.”

“Wait. What?” Juniper chuckled before slamming her lips shut.

Bodin nodded with his own smile. “She said no and asked if I’d gone mad because there was no way she could ever be the queen,” he said, remembering the way she’d rolled her eyes and scoffed at him. “She also thought it would be strange for us to be together… intimately, since we were such good friends. So, I suggested we experiment.”

Juniper’s jaw dropped. “You didn’t.”

“I did, and she kissed me .” It was over thirteen years ago, but he could still remember the way she’d stared at him in shock after. She had then shrugged and told him, Fine. I guess you’ll do. He had laughed and kissed her again, marveling at the desire in her eyes.

“Clearly, things went well.”

“Yes, they did. We were married a few months later and were very happy together.” He trailed off, unable to continue. Everyone knew the next part of the story. Camille had become pregnant almost right away, but she hadn’t made it through the birth of their son. Bodin still saw the blood in his nightmares. The baby hadn’t screamed or taken a breath; the only cries in the room were from his wife as they realized what had happened. He held her as she cradled the unmoving child who would never open his eyes.

Then, there was only silence.

Her bleeding hadn’t stopped.

And he was left alone.

“I’m so sorry.” Juniper shifted toward him, embracing him in a hug, and this time, he didn’t pull away. He put his arm around her as she said, “I can’t imagine losing someone like that. I… I’ve never had anyone like that in my life, but I know losing Rafe or Richard would hurt like hells. Even Hugo would break my heart, and he’s barely tolerated me for the last decade.”

Their lives growing up really were worlds apart. Despite his kingdom struggling with this war and the pressure from his father to be the best at everything, Bodin had never felt unloved. Sure, he’d been lonely at times, but it wasn’t because he didn’t have anyone . He’d always had his parents, Laurent, and Nadine, not to mention their respective families. Many of the noble families had cared for him too.

This beautiful, kind woman had no one but her brother and the guard who seemed to look out for her more like a parent than anything. He wondered if Juniper saw how much the man adored her. It wasn’t simply because it was his job that he stayed by her side.

Bodin glanced around the forest that had once been his sanctuary. “Maybe it was a bad idea to come here,” he breathed.

She shook her head and stood. Tugging at his hand, she said, “No. It was a wonderful idea, and I’m glad you shared this space with me. It will always be for her, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy it too. And if you ever feel the need to come here alone, I understand.”

He let her pull him to his feet. “What are you doing?”

Giving him another glorious grin, she pulled him close. “Dance with me.”

Bodin lifted her hand above her head to twirl her in a circle. Her soft giggle as she stumbled struck something deep within him. Something he never thought he would feel again. He wrapped an arm around her waist to steady her then swayed to the airy melody, a part of him feeling lighter simply by holding her.

Juniper stepped closer, resting her head on his shoulder. She seemed to do that more and more these days, and it made him wonder if she was feeling the same connection that he struggled to deny.

“Where does the music come from?” she asked in a hushed tone, as if not wanting to disrupt it.

“Magic,” he managed to whisper through the ever-expanding lump in his throat.

“But how?” she asked. “And where are the people? I’ve yet to see anyone in these places.”

He ran his fingers along her back.

Before he could answer either of her other questions, she asked, “How does it work? Can you create portals to anywhere? Could we use it to visit my home?”

Brushing his lips against the side of her head—another thing he seemed to be doing frequently, as it became impossible not to touch and comfort her—he knew it was time. “Let’s go to another one and I’ll explain.”