Cursed by Darkness (Once Upon A Curse)

26. Juniper

TWENTY-SIX

Juniper

The battle lasted decades, lifetimes for most humans. But to the gods and goddess, it was the blink of an eye. The destruction of their people and world meant little to them anymore. All they cared about was power, just as their father had always intended.

P acing back and forth across the hard floor of her bedroom, Juniper repeatedly tapped the iron key against the palm of her hand. She knew deep in her soul that it was the key to the twelfth portal. She also knew that Bodin had hidden it away for a very good reason. He didn’t want her, or anyone, going through that door.

Except, she couldn’t get past this feeling like she was meant to find the key.

When he first told her that one stayed locked because it was too dangerous, she’d been beyond curious about what it was. Now, she knew why.

But it didn’t put to rest that urge to see for herself. She’d returned to the pages about it, reading it over and over. In his notes, Bodin described the monster as powerful and vicious, unstoppable. He’d trapped it in there to protect his people. That was why he’d created the first portal. He couldn’t kill the creature, but he’d managed to lure it through the door then locked it inside.

Something tickled at the back of her mind again, that guiding feeling that had been present most of her life. The warmth she’d believed was Ronna growing up.

And right now, that sensation was begging her to go toward this monster. It was important.

A horrible thought flittered through her mind. If it was that vicious, could it somehow be used against their enemies? Unleashed on the battlefield to take out the opposing army?

But then what? According to Bodin, it was invincible. There was no way to kill it or control it, so it would be just as dangerous to them as it would be to their enemies.

Regardless, she wanted to go down there now and see the being for herself, get a better grasp of what it was. And Bodin wasn’t here to stop her. Neither were Laurent or her brothers. There was no one to tell her that it would be a horrible idea.

That was what she told herself until the door to her room opened and Nadine walked in. The maid must have seen Juniper’s thought’s playing out on her face because she stilled, automatically suspicious. “What?”

“Nothing.” Juniper curled her fingers around the key and nonchalantly lowered her arm to her side. She’d already hidden the journal in the chest at the end of her bed so no one else would stumble upon it.

“You look guilty.” Nadine continued to the armoire, where she hung up a couple of freshly laundered dresses. “What did you do?”

“Nothing, really.”

Her friend didn’t seem to believe her, but instead of pushing her, she asked, “Did you find anything?”

“No.” Juniper wasn’t sure why she was lying. Then, as if she couldn’t stop herself, she said, “I just… I was wondering what’s behind the last portal door.” Did the woman know the truth?

Nadine slowly turned toward her. “Bo doesn’t let anyone in there. We know better than to push him about it. It’s the one thing he will not bend on.”

Sighing, Juniper sat on the edge of her bed. “I know he said it’s dangerous, but what could be so bad in there that he doesn’t let anyone use it? What’s he hiding?”

“You know how they work, right?” She moved to lean against the corner bedpost with her arms crossed.

“He created them with his magic,” Juniper said. “They’re places he’s either visited or imagined, brought to life.”

“They come from his mind.” Nadine nodded and pushed off the bed to go grab a dress for Juniper to help her get ready—as the time was apparently much later than she’d realized.

Juniper had agreed to make it down to dinner since a few of the advisors had gathered, but now she was regretting it. She had other things she’d much rather do.

Nadine returned with a pale lavender gown that reminded her of what she might wear back home, with its layered skirts instead of the thinner ones she’d started getting used to. The top, however, was where the similarities ended, with its low cut, leaving her shoulders exposed. “So, it stands to reason that it’s a private place. It’s a piece of him he doesn’t want to share.”

Juniper still couldn’t tell if Nadine knew the truth. He’d written that only Laurent knew, but it appeared as if he hadn’t added anything to the journal in years. She thought maybe he’d shared it since then, but she really couldn’t be sure. Regardless, she understood what her friend was saying. It didn’t make her any less curious though. If anything, it made her want to see it even more. Almost like something was physically pulling her there.

Nadine shrugged. “We all have our demons—secrets we keep to ourselves. As the king, he has many.” Before Juniper could ask more, she started helping her change. “He’s opening up to you. You might not see it, but those of us who knew him before you got here definitely do. He loves you, trusts you. If he wants to share that place with you, he will, but it might take time.”

Juniper nodded then went quiet as she continued getting ready, taking in her friend’s words.

Keeping the key hidden from the maid literally dressing her was tricky, but she managed it. Once she was set, Nadine left, wishing her luck and telling her she would see her tonight.

Juniper opened her fist to look at the key again. She knew Nadine was right, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t drown out the nagging curiosity. The need to see what was behind the door for herself was like an ever-present itch she couldn’t—and probably shouldn’t—scratch.

All she would have to do is sneak away from her guards, go down, and unlock it. The physical act was simple, but did she want to go behind Bodin’s back to do it?

Grabbing the dagger and sheath Bodin had gifted her sent a pang of guilt and longing through her. She missed her husband so much it physically hurt. Missed his rare smile that he reserved just for her, the way he accepted her, cherished her. The feel of his hands on her body when he first strapped the blade to her thigh beneath her dress. The soft brush of his lips over her skin and how he filled her so completely—body, heart, and soul—when they finally shared a bed.

Her skirts didn’t have a slit—which was annoying now that she’d gotten used to the Mesairlan style of always having them—so the dagger stayed near her ankle, and she slid the key into a small pocket she found sewn into the soft fabric. A plan had already taken root by the time she was heading toward the door.

Juniper made her way to dinner, a smile in place and her chin raised like Bodin had taught her. She greeted the councilors and apologized for her absence today, to which they waved off her concern. As they discussed plans on how to secure Kehlir from future attacks, she managed to force down her potatoes and pork, but only in small bites. Her stomach was too twisted up to eat much—whether from guilt, anticipation, or a combination of the two, she wasn’t sure.

The entire time, she felt the weight of the portal key in her pocket. She needed to know if the creature locked away from the world could save them all. She needed to know if there was a way to use it to their advantage.

Though, she wasn’t entirely sure how to figure that out.

She hoped seeing it in person would help. At this point, the urge to do so was too strong to deny. It was as if a force outside of herself was pushing her to go.

Then, a word caught her attention, and she nearly choked on a carrot. One of the men started to stand, but she shook her head. “I’m fine. What did you just say about Umbra?”

“Just that we weren’t having any luck on that front, Your Majesty.”

She cleared her throat and took a sip of her water to give her time to find a way to ask what he was talking about without seeming clueless.

Thankfully, Lewis jumped in, as if reading her mind. “We’ve had our spies searching for them since the man from the attack confessed they were part of the rebel group, not Gilarn’s army, but none have been able to infiltrate far enough to figure out if there was a bigger reason behind the attack here. The king asked us to keep him updated, but since he is not here, we thought we would at least let you know it’s still in progress.”

“Yes, thank you.” She nodded, trying to hide her surprise. Umbra was behind the attack. What else did Bodin think they were connected to? He’d written their name over and over in obvious pain in his journal, so it was clear he thought them responsible for the deaths of his family in some way. She just didn’t know how.

When they continued their discussion, she met Lewis’s gaze and gave him an appreciative smile. The older man dipped his head once. Bodin had been right about him. He was a good one to have around.

Waiting an appropriate amount of time, she excused herself, claiming she still had a headache and needed more rest. They each stood as she exited, bowing their heads, but none made to follow. Thank the goddess.

“Are you all right, Your Majesty?” Samuel asked as he and Richard followed her toward the stairs.

Juniper nodded. “Just tired. I’ll be fine.”

She avoided Richard’s gaze as they walked through quiet, darkened corridors, lanterns and candelabras lighting her way back to her room. The sun had fully set while they were eating.

She had just told him yesterday how strange it was not to need to sneak away anymore, yet here she was, about to do just that. Unlike ever before, however, she felt truly guilty for making his job more difficult.

“Richard, can I ask you a question?” she finally asked as they reached her floor.

“Of course.”

“All those years I was running off, why didn’t you stop me?” She’d always wondered, but now she had more she needed to know, and this was the first step. “How did you know I would always return to the castle?”

He sighed as she faced him near her door. “I didn’t.”

“But you never tried to stop me from leaving…”

“No, I didn’t.” Richard crossed his arms and tilted his head slightly. “Because I never agreed with locking you up. I understood that the world was growing more dangerous, but it didn’t make sense to keep you so… imprisoned when none of your brothers were treated the same.”

So, he really didn’t know the truth. She clasped her hands together in front of her, wringing her fingers. “What if I’d tried to run away? Would you have just turned a blind eye?”

“Of course not,” he said.

Her heart broke a little bit.

Until he added, “I would have gone with you.”

Her throat tightened. “W-what?”

“If you had wanted to really leave, I would have gone with you.” He stepped closer, lowering his arms and taking one of her hands, forcing her to stop twisting her fingers. “Why do you think I insisted on coming here? I honestly thought the wedding would be the last straw and you’d make a break for it. I wanted to be here if that happened. So long as I’m living, you will never be alone.”

“Richard,” she whispered, tears burning her eyes. “Where were you during the assassination?”

Samuel had remained quiet behind her, to the point where she almost forgot he was with them, but she could practically feel the way he tensed at the question.

“What?” Richard’s brow creased, but she saw the concern in his hazel-green eyes. He knew what she was talking about.

“Prince Elias. We were playing in the garden when we spotted the assassin sneaking into the palace. H-he killed him, and n-no one was—” Her words cut off with a shaky, involuntary breath.

Samuel moved closer, his presence at her back a silent comfort. She hadn’t known the man long but knew without a doubt that he was loyal. He had been with this family for nearly a decade. Therefore, he knew how much Bodin had struggled over the years.

“Juni, what are you accusing me of?” Richard’s hushed voice was full of a pain she felt in her own chest.

Shaking her head, she said, “I’m n-not. I just don’t underst-stand why we were alone. You were always with m-me, but on that day, you were… you were gone.”

“You ran away from me that morning.”

“But you always follow me,” she said, her tone growing harsher.

“Juniper.”

She ripped her hands away and stormed into her room. It didn’t surprise her when he followed. He always followed—until he didn’t, it seemed. Snatching up her cloak, she draped it over her shoulders and marched right back out with both guards on her heels.

“Where are you going?” Richard demanded. When she didn’t answer, he grabbed her by the arm and turned her toward him, something he’d never done before. Before he could speak though, Samuel was there.

“Let go of her.”

Richard held her gaze, silently begging her to listen to him, but she couldn’t right now. Too much was swirling through her head. She needed fresh air. She needed a place she could scream and cry without anyone hearing her.

She needed to go where she would be able to feel connected to her husband.

“Richard,” Samuel barked. “Release her. Now.”

He slowly let her go. Only when she started to turn away did she notice Samuel’s hand on the pommel of his sword. As if he’d been prepared to fight one of his own for her. She swallowed and then looked at Richard again. The man she’d always trusted more than anyone in this world.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

And then, she was running. She raced away from them, ignoring Richard shouting her name and cursing as they chased after her.

She darted through the palace, taking a roundabout route to hopefully throw them off. By the time she was sneaking through the art gallery, all sounds of her guards were gone. Only when she finally reached the circular room did she pause. She pulled the key out of her pocket and stared at the door just to the left of the stairs. The first portal Bodin had ever created.

Slowly, she moved closer and ran a hand along its carvings. The pattern was strange and unlike the others with its bare trees. Darker, somehow. She traced a curling vine along the edge of the door, then she put her hand against the lock in the center.

Could she really do this? She didn’t want to betray Bodin, but it was eating away at her, making it impossible to think about anything else.

A warm presence enveloped her, encouraging her to continue. Her hand raised with the key almost of its own volition, but then she stilled. That guidance stopped, as if giving her the final choice. Her heart thundered in her chest as she thought through everything Bodin had written about this place and the monster within.

When the door opened at the top of the stairs, she knew her time was up. It was now or never. Before whomever rounded the curve in the stairwell—presumably Richard, as Samuel still hadn’t been to the room of portals—she inserted the key and turned it. Taking a deep inhale, Juniper entered the twelfth portal and closed the door behind her, turning the lock to keep others out.

As soon as she lifted her eyes to look around, her stomach sank.

And just like that, she understood exactly why Bodin kept people out of this place.