Cursed by Darkness (Once Upon A Curse)

36. Juniper

THIRTY-SIX

Juniper

With the gods and goddess gone from their world, the humans returned to their lives. But the time of peace did not last. They soon realized that the lake still gave magic to those who drank from its waters. And the valley was the only area of land that gave access to it easily. Both kingdoms surrounding it wanted control of Valétoi, and so they returned to war.

D espite insisting she could ride horseback, Juniper and Bodin traveled by carriage to the war camp. They’d been journeying north for two days now, only stopping when the soldiers, healers, and horses needed to rest.

Bodin had seemed beyond surprised when over a hundred men and women volunteered to fight. Even Inaya had asked to join them to help with the wounded. However, none of it shocked Juniper. Many of their people were still wary of the king, and she knew it would take time for them to overcome that, but she also knew that just as many supported him. Those were the ones who showed up to go with them, understanding that they might have been marching to their death.

In the carriage, Richard taught Juniper about her magic. He explained that it hummed in their veins, and it was simply a matter of calling it forward when needed. Bodin had explained that his was similar, so together, they tried to show her how to find hers. On their short breaks, they switched to attempting to use it.

Nothing worked though, and Juniper was growing frustrated.

“Take a deep breath,” Bodin said in a too-calm voice that grated on her nerves.

She glared at him in the dim light of the coach. The sun was setting below the trees, taking its heat with it. Juniper crossed her arms. “This isn’t working.”

“It might take a while,” Richard said, sitting across from them. “Especially since you were made to fear and hide it for most of your life.”

“We don’t have time,” she snapped. “We need Lumen healers to win this fight.”

“That doesn’t fall solely on you though?—”

“I am the queen,” she said, cutting off Bodin. “This is the way I can help our people. Except, I can’t. Because apparently the magic only appears when—” Juniper slammed her lips shut with a glance at her father.

No one spoke for a long moment. Until the horses neighed and the sound of hoofbeats slowed.

Bodin broke the silence. “We’re stopping for the night. Richard, would you mind checking in with Laurent? We need a moment of privacy.”

“Of course, Your Majesty.” Richard dipped his chin, and as soon as the carriage rolled to a stop, he squeezed Juniper’s hand and climbed out.

Juniper slumped down in her seat and listened to him telling the driver and guards that they needed a few minutes to speak alone. She closed her eyes, focusing on her breathing, her pulse. But the magic wasn’t there. When Bodin didn’t say anything, she sighed and looked at him. With a sad smile, he leaned closer. It wasn’t her he was reaching for though. He closed the curtains on the windows beside her, then he shut the ones on his side, letting darkness consume them.

“Give us some light,” he commanded.

She almost laughed. “I can’t, Bo.”

“Yes, you can.” He put a hand on her leg. “You’re overthinking this.”

“Of course I am,” she hissed. “How can I not?”

His fingers inched higher, and she jumped as his scruffy beard tickled the side of her face. He pressed a kiss to her jaw. “I can think of a few ways to get you out of your head.”

“You mean out of my clothes?”

Bodin chuckled. His touch found his target, and she sucked in a breath.

“We can’t do this here,” she whispered. “There are so many people around.”

“Then, be quiet.” He nipped at her earlobe, making her groan.

Pushing him away, she climbed atop him. In the dark, she stumbled and struggled, but eventually, with his help, she straddled his lap and kissed him. It wasn’t hard and quick though. She gently eased his lips apart, tasting him, breathing him in. His arms wrapped around her and she stopped to rest her head on his shoulder. Just sitting here in his arms calmed her in a way nothing ever had. Surrounding them were the sounds of people setting up camp, but here in the dark, it was only them. Like they were secluded from the rest of the world and its troubles.

“I want to be able to help,” she admitted.

Bodin rubbed her back in a soothing gesture. “I know.” He kissed her temple. “The people adore you, June. I’ve heard the whispers. More than that, I know how they feel about seeing royals at the warfront. Just being there will raise their spirits and rally their efforts. Knowing you are there for them, supporting them, seeing how they fight for us… that helps.”

“It’s not enough though.”

“Then, keep trying to reach for your magic,” he said in a soft tone. “I know better than most how infuriating it is not being able to control it, but you will get there.”

She marveled at his confidence in her. “How can you be so certain?”

“Well, for starters, you are a fighter. You don’t give up once you set your mind on something.”

“Is that your way of calling me stubborn?”

He chuckled, his chest vibrating beneath her. “Absolutely.”

Juniper let out a quiet laugh.

“But you’re also incredibly intelligent,” he went on, stunning her. When they argued a couple weeks ago, he’d made her feel otherwise by implying she was na?ve and ignorant. To hear him say this now meant a great deal. “And you care more than anyone I’ve ever met; you have the biggest heart.”

The carriage began to lighten around them a fraction. At first, she thought someone had opened a curtain, but it was still just the two of them.

“So, I know you will do everything you can to figure this out and help our people,” he finished as the light brightened.

Her eyes pricked with tears, and she leaned back to glance down at her glowing body.

Bodin’s palm cupped her cheek, lifting her gaze to him. “You don’t need me to find these emotions that draw forward your magic. It’s inside of you; it always has been. Grab on to this feeling right now and follow it. Find it deep in your heart and soul so that you know where to pull from in the future.”

“Bo,” she gasped his name then quickly wrapped her arms around his neck to hug him tightly. She could feel it, just as he described. There was a tugging, like a link from the magic to her beating heart. An invisible thread she imagined grabbing ahold of and tying it to her wrist.

Even as the light started to fade, she could still feel it beneath her skin. Closing her eyes, she imagined pulling it closer again. Behind her eyelids, she could sense the glowing light around them, flooding the carriage. A shaky breath escaped her lips just before Bodin kissed her again and said, “See. I knew you could do it.”

She grinned up at him. He had believed in her, without a doubt.

“Let’s go show Richard,” she said, reluctantly climbing off of his lap.

Bodin opened the door and led her into the surrounding camp to find her father and brothers. He squeezed her hand in silent reassurance, and she found herself once again thanking Ronna for this marriage. For a husband who loved and supported her so much.

But he was wrong about one thing.

She did need him. She needed him like she needed the air in her lungs. He was the other half of her soul and the reason she was able to accept her magic as a blessing instead of a curse.

He was her reason for fighting. Because she wanted more time with him. She wanted to have his children, grow their family, and rule this kingdom side by side.

She wanted to wake up in his arms every morning for the rest of her life.

And to do so, they needed to end this war.

It was well into their fourth day of travel by the time they finally arrived at the war camp near Valétoi—the one place she never thought she would see in her lifetime.

“I know we said we were in this together,” Bodin started as the carriage rolled to a stop, “but are you wanting to go with me to meet with the generals? Or would you rather go to the healing tent and help there?” Before she could reply, he added, “I’m honestly asking, not suggesting you do one over the other.”

Around them came the sounds of soldiers preparing, others moaning in pain. She could even make out the faint shouts and fighting from the battlefield northwest of the camp. It was already overwhelming, and she hadn’t even seen anything yet. The curtains were still drawn.

When Richard decided to ride horseback on the last leg of the trek, giving them more privacy in the carriage, they’d used it to their advantage. Bodin had seen how nervous she was about arriving, and he’d made it his mission to distract her.

He had done an excellent job. But now, the memories of her biting his shoulder to muffle her screams when he hit that perfect spot inside her over and over faded into the worry again.

Taking a deep breath, she said, “I’ll help the healers.”

Bodin nodded but seemed to hesitate. She understood the need to savor this moment. Lacing their fingers together, he brought her hand to his lips. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” she whispered.

“I’ll have someone come show you where our tent is later this evening, unless I can get away to show you myself.” He pushed open the carriage door and hopped out then helped her down.

Chaos greeted her. Everywhere she looked, people were running about. It was as if they’d stepped into one of Bodin’s portals. A nightmarish one full of death. And it was more than just the soldiers dying. The little grass left in this area was brown and dry, crunching beneath their feet. A few trees were interspersed, but they too were lacking life and color. Even the sky here had become gray and gloomy, drizzling cool mist, the temperature dropping.

As if the world itself wept from this never-ending war.

“June,” Bodin said, drawing her attention back to him. “Stay close to Richard. Keep trying to use that Lumen magic to heal, but if you can’t, do not let it deter you. You’ll get it; I know it.”

Richard joined them now, along with Laurent and her brothers. She didn’t want to say goodbye to any of them. Then, Inaya walked over, as did Samuel. Her new friends and family, all gathered in a place of so much loss.

Bodin squeezed her hand, likely sensing her sorrow.

“I’m going to go find Del, catch him up on everything,” Hugo said, leaning in to hug her tightly, almost like he was trying to make up for the years of missed hugs, while also letting her know, without words, how much he loved her.

Juniper pulled him closer for just a moment, silently communicating the same. “Tell him I said thank you.”

Hugo stepped back and nodded then turned to walk away. Laurent watched him curiously for a second before catching her eye. “I’m… going with him.” With a wink, he dove in for a quick peck on her cheek and said, “I’ll see you later, my love.”

She smiled and lifted a hand in a small wave, fighting back tears. Rafe gave Samuel orders, who took off too.

“We should get going,” her brother said. “Are you coming, or…”

“Going to help the healers with these two.” Juniper indicated Richard and Inaya.

Rafe visibly relaxed and inhaled before pulling her into a tight hug as well. “Do not leave that tent without someone you know.”

“I’m not going to sneak off in the middle of a war, promise.”

He laughed quietly, holding on for another few seconds before releasing her and stepping back, as her husband moved closer.

She faced Bodin with tears in her eyes. Swallowing, she said, “Be careful.”

Bending down to her level, he brushed his lips along hers. “I always am.”

And then, the two were walking away, taking her heart with them. A hand gently squeezed her shoulder as Richard said, “Come on, Princess. Let’s get to work.”

Juniper mentally shook herself, agreeing, and then she looked to Inaya, who nodded as well. Together, they headed toward a wide tent at the center of camp. The sight that greeted Juniper churned her stomach. She, Inaya, and Richard went straight inside the wounded tent to help where they could, but there were so many outside of it too. The camp was full of dying soldiers in every direction.

“Stick with me,” Richard said over the din of mayhem as he stepped closer.

“This is…”

“I know.” He put a hand on her back and guided her farther into the tent.

It was quieter in here, but only just. Many were groaning, begging for aid. Healers and other soldiers ran from bloody cot to bloody cot, doing what they could.

Juniper wasn’t a healer, but she could apply bandages and help move people around. She’d also observed Bodin stitching up a few men after the attack in Kehlir and thought she might be able to handle that if necessary. Richard stayed with her the entire time, also lending a hand.

Two days passed of the same nonstop rushing around. Her father was reluctant to use his gift at first, despite Bodin lifting the law, but he soon realized just how badly they needed it. He’d managed to do so discreetly, so only those who’d been healed were aware of what happened. At least, those who stayed awake understood. Most were wary but grateful. Juniper kept trying to find that ability within, practicing when she could without drawing attention.

Each day, she worked alongside her father and Inaya. Each night, she collapsed in the small tent she shared with Bodin. Both of them exhausted.

It felt as if this would truly never be over. That they would be stuck in this traumatic, overwhelming state of living forever.

But all things had to come to an end. Sometimes, long before people expected it.