Curvy Nanny for the Nerd

14. Toni

Chapter 14

Toni

I t was late enough in the evening that Layla was already asleep, but early enough that I wasn’t. Brady was holed up in his office doing his mystery work that he didn’t want me to know about, so when the phone rang and Lucy’s face lit up, I answered with a smile.

“Well, well, if it isn’t Mrs. Rush who’s forgotten the little people.”

Lucy’s laugh sounded down the line, putting a smile on my face. “You’re hardly the little people, Toni. You’ve got more personality in your pinky finger than most of us have altogether. How’s the new placement?”

I rolled my eyes with a heavy sigh. “It’s great. Layla’s a wonderful little girl. She’s wicked smart, and she’s so spunky she could’ve been me in an alternate universe.”

Lucy shared my laughter. “That’s great. And how are things with Mister Hot, Neryd and Mysterious?”

“Complicated.” That was the simplest answer for a situation that was anything but simple. “Very fucking complicated and not in the good, he makes me feel all torn up inside kind of way either. Just plain complicated.”

Lucy laughed again. “Does he make you feel all torn up inside?”

Yes. “Maybe.”

“Liar,” she shot back, her tone good-natured. “You slept together.”

“Yes. A lot over the past few weeks.” My bed still smelled like him, which only made me remember all the things we’d done together and to each other in the bed beneath me. But it also served as a reminder that we were always in my room, never his. Because behind his door were his secrets.

Lucy squealed with excitement. “That’s a good sign. Isn’t it?”

“No, Lucy. It’s not good. It’s terrible.”

“Oh,” she said, slightly deflated. “Is he that bad in bed?”

My head fell back and laughter exploded out of me because only Lucy, so in love with her hot, sexy husband, would sound so devastated by that fact.

“No, he’s terrific in bed. It’s the best sex I ever had, period.”

“Okay, now I’m really confused. The sex is so good you’ve been banging nonstop and he hasn’t fired you. What am I missing?”

“Everything, Lucy,” I said dramatically. “We’ve been sleeping together. We live together and eat meals together, and we spend time together after Laya goes to bed. It all feels very intimate, like it’s going somewhere, but it isn’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because he clearly doesn’t trust me. I still don’t know his last name or the name of the company he works for, or even if he owns the damn company! And that’s not the worst part.” I felt like a crazy person right now, overly emotional and paranoid, which was exactly why I’d stayed away from relationships these past few years. Men were more trouble than they were worth.

“What’s the worst part, Toni?”

I looked over my shoulder and lowered my voice. “It’s like he goes out of his way to make sure I don’t know anything about him. When he talks about work he makes a point not to say the name of the company or offer up any details about his work. I only know its gaming, because Layla said something about it once, probably by accident.”

“Maybe he’s just not good at opening up?”

I appreciated Lucy’s effort, but I shook my head despite the fact that she couldn’t see me. “It’s a trust issue I think.”

“Trust takes time to build. Remember the rocky road Dante and I had to get to where we are today.”

“Yeah, I know, but he’s not even giving me a chance. He’s already decided that I’m not someone he can trust with something as basic as his identity.” Not just that, he’s already decided that I’m clearly someone who chased after money and status, which meant he still didn’t know me either. If that was the case, why was I so worried?

Lucy sighed. “Sometimes rich men are weird about people’s motivations for getting close to them. You know that.”

“Exactly! Despite the things I’ve shared with him, he still doesn’t know me if he thinks that.”

“It’s a hard habit to break,” she offered sympathetically. “Dante told me about the nannies who tried to seduce him. The women who looked at him with dollar signs in their eyes. It creates a complex, and I mean, who wouldn’t want Dante with or without his millions?”

I laughed. “Spoken like a woman madly in love. Though I will concede your husband is smokin’ hot.”

“Right?” She laughed for a long moment before it died out. “But it definitely made it difficult for him to trust me. Remember when Alex came to visit?”

“The difference is that he was jealous, Lucy. He was jealous because he had feelings for you and worried you might be using him. Brady hasn’t given me a chance.” The truth of that statement rocked me. I sat up as realization dawned. “You know what? I’m not worried about it anymore. I can’t be.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means,” I stood and paced the length of my room. “It means that I can’t keep sleeping with him because he doesn’t trust me or know me, and he doesn’t want to.”

“You have feelings for him, don’t you?”

“No. Maybe. Hell, I don’t know Lucy. But what I do know is that I can’t engage in a risky relationship like that with a man who can fire me. It would be worth it if it was going somewhere, maybe, but since it’s not, it definitely isn’t worth it.” I could find casual sex anywhere that wouldn’t impact my career or my professional reputation. “You’ve been a big help this time, Lucy.”

“Thanks, I think,” she laughed just as the sound of a baby whimpering interrupted her. “Let me know how it goes,” she said before ending the call abruptly.

Resolved, I continued to pace until I burned off the nervous energy that pulsed through my limbs. From this moment forward, Brady was just my boss. Our relationship was strictly professional. No more stolen kisses or late night talks. No more toe-curling sex.

No more earth tilting orgasms.

That saddened me, but it was what had to be done. I could get just sex anywhere, I didn’t need to bring it to work with me. Sex was easy, but the connection we had wasn’t as easy to find. Clearly Brady didn’t feel the same way.

So, it was settled.