Curvy Nanny for the Nerd

24. Toni

Chapter 24

Toni

E nough is enough, Toni. Get your shit together.

I had the same pep talk with myself every morning for the past few days as I stared at puffy red eyes in the mirror, a sad expression and lifeless eyes. I cried a little, okay, I cried a lot for the first couple of days after Brady accused me of whoring myself out for gifts. I cried because once again I thought he was a nice guy who was scarred or wary after a few bad experiences.

Once again, I was wrong. He wasn’t scarred, he was just an asshole.

Now that I knew who Brady really was—another rich prick—I could move on with my life. Today was Friday and I had the whole weekend ahead of me to wipe away all traces of the hot nerdy asshole.

As soon as Brady walked in the door, I hugged Layla goodbye and made her promise to be a good girl for her uncle and then I went to my apartment where I enjoyed a body scrub and then a long, hot bath. I scrubbed my skin raw to remove the scent of him from my flesh. I rubbed until I could no longer feel his hands on my body.

Two hours later I felt clean and refreshed and ready to be out amongst the people, but not exactly on a solo mission tonight so I picked up my phone and called a friend. “Molly, hey. It’s Toni. You up for drinks tonight? On me?”

She let out a heavy sigh followed by a harsh laugh. “Well I guess that does sound better than peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and Netflix on my cousin’s sofa. When and where?”

An hour later Molly walked into The Happy Heifer looking as if her week was just as shitty as mine. I waved her down with one hand and poured a tall glass of beer for her. “Rough week?”

She nodded and accepted the beer with a tired smile. “You could say that. my employer’s new girlfriend thinks my curves are too tempting and they let me go.”

“Insecure bitch,” I growled and flagged down the waiter for shots. “I’m sorry that happened, Mols.”

She sighed and scrubbed a hand over her face. “It’s fine, really. I mean, it pisses me off but it’s not like this is the first time and it probably won’t be the last.”

“It’s bullshit, you know that right?” I shook my head, so fucking sick of this stupid mentality. “Your body is gorgeous. Women go under the knife to get what you have naturally and having curves doesn’t make you slutty or easy or any of that shit,” I growled.

“I know but thank you for saying it out loud, Toni.” Molly was a sweetheart, which normally would piss me off but just like Lucy it was so genuine it was hard to dislike her. “Why are you drinking tonight?”

I sighed and raised my shot high in the air, knocking it back without a toast. “I don’t wanna talk about it but let’s just say that men suck.” Even saying that much about it just brought back all the things I was trying like hell not to think about. But the dark look on Brady’s face when he spit those hateful words at me? Top five things I’ll never forget. But tonight wasn’t a night to think about it so I let out a heavy sigh and shook off my feelings. “Do you think I’m a difficult woman?”

Molly blinked in surprise as if she didn’t want to answer but then she did something people rarely do, she thought about it before she answered. “No. I think you’re great and I wish I had even half of your confidence and courage. People don’t mess with you because you just seem like you’ll kick their ass and that’s enough. Most of the time I don’t even know who I am.”

I flagged down the waiter for more shots as Molly’s words sank in. “Knowing who you are and being yourself isn’t always everything it’s cracked up to be. Don’t get me wrong, I like myself just fine. No, scratch that, I love myself, but sometimes I wonder if I’m paying too heavy a price for being myself.” It was something I never admitted out loud but often wondered about.

“Toni,” Molly growled with more ferocity than I knew she was capable of. “The price of not being yourself and being miserable? That price is too high. I’ve twisted myself into knots and been who I was supposed to be and what did it get me? Nothing. At least you haven’t given up yourself to still not be enough for other people.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s a good point too.” I shook off the melancholy that threatened to turn me into a drunken, morose mess. “I’m happy to go shopping with you to help you find clothes that fit your body, your style and your personality.”

She flashed a sweet smile I could never pull off and knocked back her second shot. “That would be great, Toni. Thanks.”

I order a third round of shots and when they arrived, I raised my glass. “All right let’s toast to being happy with who we are…once we figure it out.”

Molly laughed and finished off her third shot with a frown. “Hot damn that stuff burns but it’s also smooth.”

“That’s because it’s top shelf tequila.” We ate too much barbecue and drank too much beer and tequila, and two and a half hours later we stumbled out into the street, tipsy and laughing as we fell into a rideshare, our troubles seemed a million miles away.

For the moment anyway.

It didn’t take long thought for thoughts of Brady and his careless words to invade my mind once again. Then again, maybe the words weren’t careless. Maybe he meant every syllable he’d said, which only pissed me off more. No more, I promised myself when my eyelids finally started to grow heavy.

Sleep was near and I was counting on the booze to help me have a peaceful sleep that didn’t include thoughts of the mysterious Brady Winsome.

The next morning I woke up early and made breakfast because it was the only day I could enjoy breakfast without seeing familiar silver-blue eyes that tried too hard to figure me out.

“You made breakfast?” Molly reached her hands high above her head, stretching and yawning while she moaned over breakfast.

“I did. Dig in. You still up for shopping today?”

“If you are, I’m game,” she said uneasily which meant it was up to me to take control.

After breakfast we spent five hours updating Molly’s wardrobe before we settled into a booth for late—but healthy—lunch to make up for last night’s misery indulgence. “I’m tapping out, at least for today,” I told her as a yawn cracked my jaw.

Molly laughed. “Oh, thank god! I thought you were going to suggest more stores.”

“Hell no. I’m going home to sit on my ass and watch movies until I have to go back to work.”

“Want some company?”

Did I? Being alone would only allow me to wallow in thoughts of Brady and that was the last thing I wanted. I liked my job. I loved being the one who got to spend time with Layla and show her the world, show her that she could be anybody she wanted. Which meant I needed to get over it.

Fast.

“You know what, Mols? I would love some company.” It was too long since I had a proper girls’ day since all of my girls are all loved up and having babies. This weekend was just what I needed. When Monday rolled around it would be like the past few weeks never even happened.

Fingers crossed.