Curvy Nanny for the Nerd

26. Toni

Chapter 26

Toni

I woke up an hour early, or rather my body woke me up an hour before my alarm clock was scheduled to go off as my stomach tried to kick its way out of my midsection. My body was coated in a thin sheen of sweat and every time I tried to sit up, my stomach lurched did a high-kick and then a back flip before it lurched again. Moisture coated the inside of my mouth and I tried to swallow to get rid of the taste of nausea. “Mistake,” I shouted to myself and jumped from the bed, making a beeline to my bathroom.

A few minutes of heaving later and I didn’t feel better exactly but I no longer felt like I was going to be sick. It was just a general feeling of pure crap so I washed my face, put my hair up in a bun and tried to get dressed for the day. Try being the operative word since my stomach did another twirl and dance before I found myself bent over the toilet once again. After the third visit to the toilet I was really tempted to tell Brady that I couldn’t work today but I knew more accusations would fly so I dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, grabbed a bottle of sparkling water and went in search of my charge.

“Good morning, Toni!” Layla bounced in her chair with a welcoming smile.

“Good morning. Did you sleep well?’

She nodded. “I had a dream about my mom and me and I wasn’t sad about it.”

“That’s great, kiddo. I’m happy for you.” Thankfully Brady was nowhere to be found so we ate a quick breakfast of toast with peanut butter and bananas before getting the day started. “I’m not feeling too hot today so we’re going to stick close to home. Are you a good swimmer?”

She let loose an exaggerated nod. “I’m the best swimmer. I can go almost as fast as my dad.”

“Wow, that is fast.” I searched my brain for other things we could do to fill the time and I settled on another activity that would take time. “But first, let’s pack a picnic lunch and one activity to do after lunch.”

“Okay!” Layla’s excitement was enough for me to push through making sandwiches with diagonal cuts, slicing fruit and cheese and all the other things to make a picnic seem fancy to a little girl. The nausea returned in fits and starts but my stomach managed to hang onto my breakfast until late afternoon.

The pool at Brady’s place was incredible with sun loungers set up on one side and accent chairs on the other side, perfect for sunbathing and relaxing. The pool house was small but well-appointed with drawers full of brand new bathing suits for men and women, a small fridge stocked with expensive sun creams and lotions. Just behind the hot tub was an outdoor kitchen space with a grill, stove and glass door fridge. “Wow, this is great. What do you think Layla?”

Her eyes were wide with shock as she took in the area that we’d both never seen. “Is this ours? We can swim here?”

“It’s not mine but it’s yours and your uncle’s. Ready for a dip in the water?”

“Is it going to be cold?”

I laughed, steadfastly ignoring another wave of nausea. “Probably but the longer you’re in the water the more you adjust to the temperature. Unless you changed your mind?”

“No,” she shouted and then flashed an apologetic expression. “Sorry. I mean no, I haven’t. I just wanted to know.”

“Come on. Let’s do it together so it’s less scary.” We stripped out of our coverups and stood at the edge of the pool.

“One,” Layla began.

‘Two,” I continued with a smile.

“Three,” she said and jumped straight in the water like a cannonball and when she popped up to the surface she was laughing. “It’s not cold at all!”

Layla was right but I still took my time, going into the pool in small baby steps until I was waist deep and then chest deep in the water. I kept an eye on Layla as I floated the length of the pool while Layla swam and kicked and had a good time. The sun combined with the warm water was like the perfect band-aid. The sickness remained but it wasn’t as bad as it had been all morning.

“Watch me, Toni!” Layla stood at the edge of the pool, toes curled over the edge and a determined look in her face as she watched the water.

“I’m watching,” I told her with a smile. I kept an eye on her but the sickness returned with vengeance, making my belly do somersaults as black spots popped up all around my vision. I heard the splash of Layla hitting the water but it was muffled along with her laughter. Everything was muffled and the world started to tilt. “Oh no,” I whispered just before everything went black.

I didn’t know if seconds or minutes had passed when my eyes opened under water, but I swam up to the surface and gasped for air. It was just a dizzy spell , I told myself.

“Toni!” Layla shouted my name and her tone was so full of fear I started swimming before I knew where she was. “Are you okay?” The breathless question was like a kick in the heart.

“I’m fine,” I told her in a soft voice, trying to reassure her with a hand to her back. “I’m a little sick today and I just got a little dizzy. It happens sometimes but I promise you that I’m fine.” I pulled Layla against my chest and hugged her tight. “Don’t you worry about me, little girl. I’m the adult which means it’s my job to worry.”

She was so quiet that I knew she wouldn’t soon forget what she’d seen. How could she when she’d already lost so much? I needed her to think about something else, anything else and I knew just the topic. “You’re really okay?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I’m good. So good I want you to tell me about what kind of guitar you’re planning to get?”

It was the perfect distraction because she spent the next twenty minutes talking about different styles and colors of guitars, the sounds they produce and even what the strings were made from. I smiled and listened but I made sure my feet stayed on the pool floor where they belonged. The afternoon stretched ahead long and lazy. We swam and I read while Layla drew and the next thing I knew, the sun sank below the horizon and it was time to go inside.

I felt exhausted, like I ran a marathon this morning and worked a full shift at a busy restaurant during the afternoon, or maybe played in a professional football game. My legs dragged across the grass and into the kitchen before making my way upstairs.

“Thank, Toni. Today was super fun,” she said after we finished a quick bath to wash away the day. “Dad used to take me swimming.”

I flashed a sad smile for the little girl who would only have memories of her parents. “I hope today made you remember him with a smile.”

“It did,” she admitted.

“Good, and I’m glad you had fun today Layla. Sometimes we have to stop and smell the roses.”

Her nose wrinkled. “Why?”

I shrugged. “It’s a way of saying to live in the moment and enjoy the little moments, like swimming with a friend or drawing under a bright and sunny day.”

“Oh. Okay. I’ll do that.” She flashed another smile and fidgeted as if she didn’t know what else to say.

I put a hand on her shoulder and guided the energetic little girl back down the stairs and to the kitchen. “How about we split a banana?”

“Okay!” She bounced up and down on her toes and turned those beautiful silver-blue eyes my way. “Will you stay for dinner tonight, Toni?”

Dammit, I should have known she would ask mostly because she asked nearly every damn day with hope shining in her eyes. “Sorry, kiddo. Not tonight. I need to get the progress reports done for this week. Maybe another night?”

“You always say that,” she pouted.

She was right and I felt bad that my absence at the dinner table was felt so keenly. It was my own damn mistake for ever eating a meal with the family. It wasn’t against the rules but I didn’t do it generally. “I know and I’m sorry, but you have your uncle.”

“Since those progress reports are for me, I won’t mind if they’re a little late.”

I clenched my jaws so tight I think one of my teeth split in half. The last thing I wanted was to have dinner with Brady and pretend that things were all right between us when they weren’t. He knew it too.

He doesn’t care.

I shrugged and feigned rubbing my forehead. “Thank you for the offer but I’m not really hungry. Had a big lunch.” I was off my game because at my words, a look of concern crossed Layla’s face.

“Are you okay, Toni? Are you dizzy again?”

I froze at the question but I recovered quickly. “I’m not dizzy but I am still feeling sick so I’m going to lay down and cross my fingers that I’ll feel better tomorrow. Okay?”

“You sure?”

“Positive,” I said and tried for a smile that would make me sound believable to Layla. I knelt down and wrapped my arms around the little girl, giving her a tight, reassuring squeeze. “I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow. Okay?”

She nodded but sadness lingered in her gaze. “Good night, Toni.”

I ignored the heavy weight of Brady’s gaze on me as I left the kitchen. He didn’t get to be concerned about me, not anymore. Not that he ever truly cared anyway. I made my way up to my bedroom, crawled on top of the bed and I promptly fell asleep.

Sleep came easily which was a relief, it was just too bad that my dreams were full of visions of Brady, smiling at me. Laughing with me. Kissing me. Touching me all over.

It was the most peaceful yet torturous sleep of my life.