Curvy Nanny for the Nerd

28. Toni

Chapter 28

Toni

I sat inside the exam room a nervous wreck, fidgeting with the hem of my black jeans as I waited for someone—hell, anyone really—to come in and tell me what I suspected to be true but hoped it was a gigantic mistake. I managed to snag the last appointment of the day on a Thursday and now all I could do was wait. And wait.

And wait.

“Ms. Stafford, how are you feeling?” The young doctor stepped inside the room with a bright smile and shiny black hair that made me feel dull and lifeless in my all black ensemble.

“Nauseous and exhausted, Doc. You have good news for me?” I held my breath as the doctor inhaled deeply and let it out slowly. Definitely not a sign of good news.

“I can’t judge the quality of the news for you, but we’ve done all the analysis and it looks as if you’re pregnant, Ms. Stafford.”

Pregnant. The word landed like an anvil in the room and it settled in my belly just as heavy. Pregnant. Of all the things in the world I imagined to be wrong with me—cancer, autoimmune sickness, exhaustion—pregnancy was near the bottom of the list. An oversight on my part, clearly. “Pregnant.” I said it like it was a foreign word that I couldn’t quite define.

“Yes. Close to three months based on hormone levels and your last period. Is this not good news?”

I sighed. “It’s a surprise is what it is, Doc. That’s all.” I shook my head as the reality of my situation settled around my shoulders. Having a baby with a man who thought I was nothing more than gold digger. “What do I do next?”

The doctor rattled off words like choices and prenatal vitamin regimen and I barely heard any of it, just enough to grab the prescriptions and a card for my next appointment before I left the medical center in a daze. The fog didn’t clear, not even when I found myself at Lucy and Dante’s place, feeling out of sorts and uneasy.

“Toni? This is a nice surprise. Come on in.” Lucy waved me in with a friendly smile that I wasn’t sure I deserved.

But I was here so I blurted out the news. “I just found out I’m pregnant and I don’t know what the hell to think or feel about it all.”

Lucy smiled and tilted her head as she studied me closely. Too closely. “Is this good news or bad news?”

I glared at my closest friend. “It’s not exactly good news, I suppose but most of all, I’m shocked. But I have a plan, at least I think I do.”

Lucy nodded and set an oversized mug of peppermint tea in front of me. “Okay, let’s hear the plan.”

I took a long sip of the delicious, piping hot tea until my nerves felt at least a little settled. “I’ll put in my notice and move to California where I’ll raise my baby. Alone.” My heart clenched at the plan but it was the best plan for everyone.

Lucy’s face scrunched into a frown. “You can’t do that to Brady, Toni. Please tell me you know that.”

I nodded because yeah I did know that. But I also knew something else. “I don’t have a choice. If I tell him he’ll accuse me of lying to get at his money and then he’ll make my pregnancy miserable until he has the results which will show the truth. I don’t deserve that.” I wasn’t sure if I’d ever have another child and it wasn’t fair for him to ruin my experience because he doesn’t trust women.

“Toni,” she shot back in that motherly tone that was supposed to make me see the error of my ways.

I shrugged off my doubts. “Maybe in a few years I’ll send him a postcard to let him know the truth and then he can decide what, if anything, he wants to do.” It hurt my soul to think about leaving Layla and not spending every single day with her, but she wasn’t my kid. I didn’t have a right to her memories so I reminded myself that it was better that it happened now rather than later when I loved her even more.

“This is a bad idea, Toni. A very bad idea.”

“I agree.” Dante entered the kitchen with a sober expression on his face, not at all apologetic about eavesdropping. “I didn’t react well and it took me some time to get on board with reality, but I did it.”

“That’s because you were in love with Lucy. This isn’t the same at all.” Brady and I were a fling. No, we were less than a fling with a few casual encounters. “You guys are no damn help at all.”

Lucy laughed. “You mean we’re not telling you what you want to hear.”

I nodded. “That’s what I said.”

Dante and Lucy shared a knowing look before they burst out laughing.

“Look, Toni. Just don’t do anything rash. Don’t make any big decisions while you’re feeling emotional and vulnerable. You’re hurt and you’re prone to kneejerk reactions.”

I frowned. “Says who?”

“Says me,” she shot back quickly. “Just give yourself a few days to re-examine the situation before you make a decision.”

“There will never be a good time to hear that I’m trying to trap him for lifetime child support, or that I did this on purpose to get my grubby paws on his cash.” I shook my head and my eyes slammed shut as the damn memory hit me again. “He accused me of whoring myself out, of sucking him off for a simple piece of jewelry or designer shoes,” I growled, the hurt still at the surface, visceral and painful. He’d been deliberately cruel and I refused to repeat that.

“Dante accused me of trying to get with Alex because I thought he had a bigger bank account. It was equal parts insecurity and jealousy.” She flashed a smile at her husband, who had the good grace to blush with embarrassment.

“Yeah well, I’m not as forgiving as you. And California is off the table because you know about it and I’m sure if he turned those pitiful silver-blue eyes your way, you’d cave and give up the details. I need a new plan anyway.”

“I wouldn’t,” Lucy insisted. “Bros before hoes, except for Dante,” she said and smiled lovingly at her husband. “He’s my number one hoe so I’d tell him. But no one else.”

Dante grunted a reluctant acceptance of Lucy’s words which made us both laugh uncontrollably.

“Yeah well, I’ll make a new plan and I’ll call you when I’m there to let you know I’m safe. Just so you’re not tempted to play matchmaker.”

“I don’t need to play matchmaker. If there was nothing between you then you’d stay.”

“There’s a baby,” I growled. “That’s enough of a reason to get the hell out of dodge before he accuses me of sleeping around or something worse.” I shook my head, sighing with frustration. “Thanks for listening, both of you. But I haven’t made any decisions.” It was a lie, but a necessary one. I didn’t want Lucy to feel like she was in the middle so I flashed my patented haughty smile as I pushed away from her kitchen table. “I’ll figure it out.”

Lucy wouldn’t let me leave without a long hug that nearly brought tears to my eyes and I pretended to be unaffected as I hugged her back, waiting until I was in my car and driving back to Brady’s mansion before I let the tears fall.