Darkness

16. Cain

Sixteen

Cain

“I left England because I had a stalker.” She stops pacing in front of the desk, drinking her gin.

Stalker, now I thought it would have been because something happened, but I didn’t think it would be a stalker. With everything I found on her, I was thinking more like an abusive ex boyfriend.

She places the glass back on the desk and wipes the tears away. I want to get up and tell her I’ve got her, and no one will touch her, but something is telling me there is more she wants to say. Almost as if she’s kept this locked up and not told anyone.

She takes a deep breath and looks at me. “There is a lot, just…just give me some time and I don’t want you to hug me or say anything because I might break down.” She closes her eyes and walks over to the window.

Well, there goes the idea of comforting her.

“In your own time.” Is all I can say to her.

“One day, this guy asked me on a date. I said yes because he looked really nice. Well, we went on the date, and everything felt off. You know when you feel you should run, because nothing good will come from this but hurt. Weeks went on, and the feeling was getting worse. I knew someone was watching me. No matter what my parents and friends thought, I knew someone was following me.” She takes another sip of her drink, and it’s taking everything in me not to ask her for a name. “I kept telling my mom I felt someone watching me, but she said everyone is watching me when I’m on the ice. But this was different. It felt cold.” She turns to face me, and she’s scared. I don’t know if it’s because of the person she’s hiding from, or what I will think.

One name is all I need to find out who this fucker is.

“One day I came back from work, and there were flowers and chocolate on my dining table, notes in my car, and presents left on my bed. The man who had become my stalker became obsessed with me. No matter how much I told him to leave me alone, or that I wanted nothing to do with him,he made up these dates we never had, or he would fight with me if I went out with my friends. My family believed me when he came to the house one day for my mom’s birthday with gifts and everything. He really thought we were in a relationship. He gave me gifts for the one-month anniversary, he knew my monthly cycle and gave me things, he was at all my figure skating practise, competitions. Everywhere.” She stops again, rubbing her arms, and I see the goosebumps appear.

If anyone knows how the past holds a hard grip on you, it’s me. It can bring memories you don’t want. I finally get up, and I grab my jacket from the back of my chair, and stand behind her, holding it for her. Without a fight she puts it on, and I watch her bringing the jacket up a little and smelling it, and she smiles.

“You smell nice.” The words escape so softly, as if she wants something good to be around her at the moment.

If only she knew I’m not a good man.

Taking another deep breath, she looks at me, and I see the tears building up again. “I went out on a date with this guy. Everyone told me I can’t have the stalker ruin my life. He was really nice, walked me to my apartment and kissed me goodnight. Really felt like my Prince Charming had finally come into my life.”

Fuck, I’m not her Prince Charming.

“We agreed to go on a lunch date a few days later. The perfect night turned into the worst night of my life. I showered, got into bed, and something in the pit of my stomach told me he had been in my room again, then… then out of nowhere.” She puts her hand up for me not to say anything, as I watch her down her gin in one go and there was still a bit in there. “Give me…just…” She stutters on the words.

Whatever it is she’s about to tell me, I already know I’m not going to like it. My hands ball up into a fist. I’m going to kill him. And I’m going to make it so painful he doesn’t even know what’s happening to him. Fuck, I won’t even kill him in one day. I’ll make it last.

“He…he was on top of me. He raped and beat me.” I punch the desk hard enough for me to feel it on my knuckles, but the bastard raped her, the fucking asshole beat her. She told him to fuck off, and the bastard fucking took it from her.

I look at her body, trembling. Fuck. I’m not helping her. I don’t want her to be scared of me, and I know I’m scaring her because she is already broken just telling me this.

Calm down, Cain, you need to calm down. Once you are alone, then you can lose it.

She wipes the fresh tears away. “I went to the hospital, made a report. God, the amount of reports I made on him. I lost count of them, but you can’t fight the system sometimes. It was his word against mine. No matter what, he had proof of everything, fucking everything. To the point I was the one following him, my hospital report went missing. Fucking mind games, he was turning people against me.” She shakes her head, locks eyes with me. “My parents said I wasn’t safe in England. No matter where I go, he will find me. I left for Canada and then came here with a fake name on a driving license. Autumn-Rose is my real name. Just to enter the US, I had to use a fake ID.” She paces the room again. Is she finished so I can talk?

“I call my mom from a burner cell for three minutes because I know he has tapped their cell. Mom tells me he still comes to the house asking about me, like he’s done nothing wrong. I’m scared one day he will find me, and-” She stops, and that’s all I need to hear.

Walking over to her, I pull her in, letting her cry as much as she wants. “I don’t know what to say to you right now, but one thing I can promise is that no one will ever lay a finger on you, no one will touch you, and if they do, I will kill them.” She wraps her arms around my waist and I pull her in tighter. “That’s a promise.” I kiss the top of her head, then she backs away from me.

“I know you’re going to ask his name and why the police did nothing.”

“It was going to be my first question,” I inform her, because I’m going to research everything I can on him.

“His name is Rowan Sterling. Deputy Commissioner Rowan Sterling. He has the power to make anything disappear and make me look like I was the one who wanted him.” She looks at me, and it all makes sense why there were things I couldn’t find.

The bastard got rid of everything. He was one step ahead of her all the time. He knew how to get into her building, the hospital, everything.

Keep it together, Cain. Not for you, but for her. She needs you right now, I tell myself.

Pulling her in closer, she wraps her arms around my waist, and I feel her tears soaking through my shirt. She’s had to leave her parents and friends, all because some asshole became obsessed with her.

Fuck, it’s easy to do. In the short time I’ve known her, I have become addicted to her.

“Protect.” The whisper and cold air hits me from behind.

“No one, and I mean no one, will ever touch you again, that I can promise you.” She tightens her grip around me, which only tells me she believes my words. She pulls away from me, looking up and I wipe the tears away. “You’re mine now, my beautiful English Rose.” She smiles, leans up and gives me a kiss. Just a soft, gentle kiss.

“Hayden’s here, he wants to talk. He’s coming up.” I hear Lincoln in my ear. I pull away from Autumn-Rose, she stands next to me, and moves closer when the door opens.

“This is Hayden, Miles’ brother,” I tell Autumn. She steps closer to him.

“Hi, nice to meet you.” She puts out her hand for him, and I have to stop myself from smiling. Hayden looks at me, the same way Miles did, and I shake my head, letting him know not to say too much in front of her. “Is being good looking a rule in your family?” Her comment makes Hayden laugh. “And you are what to Cain?” she asks him.

Miles told me she kept trying to get him to say something about me, and asked questions, hoping he would answer them.

“How is it that Miles met her before me? What the fuck?” He looks at me and puts his hands out in surprise. “But now it makes the argument we heard this morning make sense.” Hayden laughs, a full laugh.

“What happened?” I ask him, folding my arms over my chest. Autumn looks between the two of us.

“So, Miles had a blonde in his bed, well he disappeared in the middle of the night, and she knew about it. In the morning she asked him where he was, and of course he wasn’t going to tell her the truth.” Hayden stops and laughs to himself, because whatever happened, he still thinks it’s funny. “He told her he was with another woman. Fucking hell, it was funny. He told us he had to do something for you, but the blonde was throwing everything at him. Dad thought it was funny, mom was not impressed.”

“Oh, I should say sorry to Miles-” she stops when Hayden and I burst out laughing.

“The blonde was crazy. Plus, he fucks more than one woman, some at the same time. He likes it weird. Plus, you’ve not even met Mason yet, he’s a little-” Hayden stops to think of the word for him.

“Not right in the head.” I finish the sentence for him.

“You took the words out of my mouth.” Hayden puts his hand out for me to high five him, and I raise a brow at him. What am I, a ten-year-old boy?

“So, Miles is the weird one. Mason is his twin?” She turns to me and I give her a nod. “And he’s the freak, and you are?” She points to Hayden, and he stays quiet, then points to me. “And he is?” She smiles, hoping he would say something.

“Sorry Miss England, not saying a word.” Hayden looks at me, the same time Autumn turns to face me.

“Are they all scared of you or something?” she asks me, and I shrug my shoulders at her.

“Give me your cell.” I put my hand out to Hayden, and without even thinking, he gives it to me. “If this number calls you, you answer it. I don’t care who you’re fucking. You leave and get there. I’ll give you the address.” I hand the cell back to him, and he looks at me.

“And who am I dropping everything for?” Hayden asks, putting his cell back into his pocket.

“Her” I nod my head towards Autumn.

Hayden snaps his eyes towards me. The last time he had a number, it was Tessa’s, so he knows he only has this number because I want her to be protected, and she’s the first woman after Tess.

“Always.” Hayden looks at Autumn.

“Sometimes I have to be out of town for work, no matter what is happening, even if you think you’re in danger. You call him,” I tell her, and she nods.

I trust Hayden as much as I trust Lincoln. He will protect her as much as I would.

“What are you doing here, anyway?” I ask him, stretching my legs out as I lean on the desk.

He looks between me and Autumn before talking. “Can you look at this? I don’t want to fuck it up.” He pulls out a file for me, and I take it off him.

“Hayden, if I thought you were going to fuck it up, I would never have let you do it. I’m an excellent teacher.” I look at him and he shakes his head, rolling his eyes at me. With a deep breath, I open the file and immediately hit with a mountain of research Hayden has done. I scan over the pages, trying to take in all the information. “If you had to do this tonight, you’d miss.”

“What?” Hayden takes a step closer to me.

“Hayden, you’re overthinking it. You don’t know the weather that day, the wind. Everything up to that point is good. You go there tomorrow night, set up like you’ve said, but then you adjust to the weather. Simple.” I hand him the file back. The man is about to do his first kill and he is over thinking everything. I give him about three kills before he’ll stop all this, and just kills the person. “And burn the fucking file and learn to remember everything.” I can’t have these things getting out to the wrong person.

“Are you around tomorrow night?” Hayden asks.

“After, come to the club. I’m all yours.” He will need to talk, and his dad is out of town for business, so he needs to talk to someone afterwards. And I’m the next best thing for him.

“So you’re family.” I hear Autumn, and Hayden smiles. “Work colleagues? They work for you? Or…I have nothing.” Autumn walks around the desk and sits on my seat, and folds her arm. I watch her for a moment, thinking of one thing.

How good it would be to eat her and have her come all over my chair.

I walk with Hayden to the door, reminding him not to tell his parents about this. I don’t need them asking me a million questions.

“Hayden, you’re ready.”

“I have the best teacher,” he jokes, and I tell him to fuck off.

Closing the door, I turn to Autumn. “I’m sorry, after-”

“Cain, I hate talking about it. If I’m honest, I’m happy he came in when he did. It gave me time to feel a little relieved that someone else knows, and a someone who, I hope, will never let me get hurt.” Walking towards her and sliding on the desk so I’m in front of her.

“Never going to happen.” I stop talking when I hear Lincoln in my ear.

“Get down here.”

“What’s happened?” I ask, looking at the CCTV footage to see where he is. The back of the building. What the fuck? He looks at the camera and shakes his head. “Fuck,” I whisper to myself. “I’ll be there-” I look at Autumn. “You okay to stay here? Once I’ve got this sorted, we can go back to yours.” I lean down and give her a kiss.

“To have fun?” she asks.

“I’m sure I can add some marks to you.” Giving her a wink, I leave the office.

One to fix all this mess, and to tell Lincoln to find everything on Rowan he can. I’m going to end that bastard.

Digging my cell out, I hit the call on Uncle David. “Are you still there?”

***

“What is this place, grandad?” I ask as we walk through the dark tunnel, which is only lit up with the fire sticks on the side. It feels old, like nothing has changed under here for centuries.

“We walk through that door and there’s no names. We will be given a number, that is who we are now.” Grandad looks down at me, and I look over at the metal door, then turn back to him. “Son, I will always protect you.”

“I will always protect you.” Grandad smiles, but I know he’s hiding his fear a lot better than I am.

I jump closer to grandad when the metal scrapes on the floor and the creek from the door opening echoes in the tunnel. A man stands there in a black mask, and the one behind us pushes us to walk faster.

Grandad goes in front and the man is shouting something at him, but I don’t know what as I continue to look around the dark room, which is getting hotter the more I stand in here. There are eight fire sticks on the wall, then a pit of fire to the side. All the men are wearing black masks, giving nothing away about who they are. The walls are stone or brick. Whatever it is, it’s old. The place is very old.

Grandad screams and I look over at him, but I can’t see what they are doing to him because he has his back to me.

“Get here boy-”

“No, he is only a little boy.” My grandad tries to argue, but they punch him in the face.

“No!” I shout. “Grandad, it’s okay. I have to fight for not just me, but the both of us.” I step forward and hold my head high.

“Remove the t-shirt,” he orders, and with shaking hands, I remove it. “Welcome to hell, two, four, one, zero, five.” He brings out the metal rod from the fire, and I see his head tilt a little, his chest raising and falling hard. Is this the first time he is doing this to a child? I don’t even know what he is doing. “Hold him.” Two men grab my arms, holding me in place. He brings the iron rod over the left part of my chest.

I scream as the pain rips through my skin. The smell of my skin burning hits me. The two men let go of me, and I fall to the ground. Panting for air, hoping the smell leaves my nose. The skin on my skin continues to burn even though nothing is touching it now, but I still feel it.

“Sleep with one eye open. They like new toys.” The man tells me and my eyes are wide open. What am I about to walk into?

My eyes open, my hand moves over my chest, and I sit up on the couch. Autumn-Rose fell asleep after her body couldn’t give me anything else. I could have made her come again just for me, but I knew her body could shut down on her.

No matter how much I tried, sleep was not coming to me, so I came out here so she could sleep in peace. Again, another night I couldn’t take my t-shirt off.

How much longer will it be before she needs to know?

I look at my hands, staring at the numbers tattooed on my fingers. They are the numbers I was known as for most of my life. The other hand has my grandad’s numbers on them.

I hear her soft feet tapping the wooden floor as she walks over to me. Turning the side light on, she places her hand into my hair as she walks around the couch and sits on my lap. I adjust a little to make myself more comfortable. My hands move up and down her thighs.

“I thought you left.” She continues to run her fingers through my hair. Why does it always feel so good?

“Never,” I whisper out the words.

“So, what’s keeping you up at night?” What a loaded question, and how do you answer it without her running a mile? “If I was going to run, I would have ran after I saw you beat the guy up in your office.” She has a point there. I was impressed she was still there, and she didn’t ask one question about it.

“Talk to her.” A cold breeze makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I close my eyes and the words repeat in my head.

“I had a fucked up upbringing. Up to the age of eight, we were a happy family, but then it all went to hell. God, did it go to hell?” I open my eyes and she staring at me, her fingers still moving softly through my hair. It's a feeling I’m enjoying more and more. “I can’t tell you the full story, but I live with the scars every day, as well as the nightmares, the smells, the sounds. You name it, I remember it. I’m going to show you what’s under this t-shirt, and I know you need to know everything, but not now, not tonight.” I can see her breathing getting faster, and I know I need to tell her more. “All this started when I was eight. You will see scars from a whip, some knife marks, burns, cigarette burns, and some are from razor wires. You’ve seen my hands. They are pretty messed up from fights.” I stop when her hand freezes and she looks into my eyes, searching for something, but she won’t get anything from them. I learned a long time how to hide everything from people.

“You were only a little boy.” Her voice is broken. I don’t like anyone feeling sorry for me.

“All you need to know is, none of this happened because of my parents.” She needs to know my parents never laid a finger on me. A part of me blames one of them, but they never hurt me. “Do you want to take off my t-shirt?” I ask her, and she freezes.

Leaning forward, I feel her lips brush against my cheek, and I grab the bottom of my t-shirt, and take it off, then stand up, picking Autumn-Rose to stand up with me. She needs to look at all of it.

I take a step back from her, and her eyes slowly move to my chest. I hear the gasp escape her mouth as it opens. My tattoos cover a lot of them, but they will never cover up the texture of them. I turn around so she can see my back.

My family hasn’t even seen my scars. Showing her is hard, but I can’t keep them hidden from her for much longer.

I feel her fingers touch my skin, but she avoids my scars. I realize what she’s doing. She’s outlining the tattoos.

Turning back to face her, I shake my head as I wipe the tear away from her cheek. Her fingers move over the numbers which I never got tattooed. This was my ID for over ten years. Fuck, even longer than that.

“These numbers were my name.” I stop her hand from moving over them and kiss the top of her hand. “I’m full of darkness. I’m full of demons. I have a lot of enemies, but I swear on my grandad’s grave I will never let anything happen to you.” She softly places her hands on my shoulder and around to the back of my neck. “When I tell you what that man means to me, you’ll understand that it’s a promise of all promises.”

“I trust you, I don’t even know how to show it. I know that the man who stands in front of me would do anything for me. There is nothing he wouldn’t do for me. I know he hides his past from me because he’s worried how I will react.” Her fingers move through the hair at the back of my neck, and I close my eyes, feeling relaxed when she does that. “This is the first time in my life that I’ve ever been me, I’m truly happy with a man. I feel safe. I feel cherished. That’s because of you, Cain. And if you’ll still have me, I’m not going anywhere.” I slam my lips into hers, pulling her closer to me as I sit back down. This woman might just be what I’ve missed in my life. But it also means I’m hiding her from the world, because I am scared someone will hurt her just to get to me. And I want to avoid that at all costs.

Of all the times for my cell to ring it’s now. Fucking hell, who the hell is calling me right now? I grab my cell off the coffee table.

“Lincoln?” I answer.

“No, this is his neighbor from downstairs. I came up to his apartment, because it sounded like he was having a fight with some-” I sit up straight, and Autumn gets off me, and sits next to me.

“Is he okay?” I ask in a panic.

“I can see a large amount of empty bottles.I don’t know if he’s okay thought.”

“Fuck, get out and lock the door. I’m on my way.” I end the call and have a look at the date. “Shit.” I quickly get up and put my t-shirt back on.

“I can come with you,” I hear Autumn-Rose behind me.

“You get some sleep, and go to work in the morning. It’s my fault I should have realized the date.” I grab my shoes and keys.

“What’s the date?”

“The day his life changed.” I lean in to give her a kiss, then another one. I really am addicted to them. “It seems like every time we have these types of conversations, something gets in the way.” She giggles, and I look at her for a moment, not sure what’s so funny.

“Because they know we’re strong enough and understand each other. Nothing is coming between us.” She jumps off the couch and kisses me again. “Now go look after your friend.”

He is more than my friend. He is my guardian angel, and today I let him down.