Darn Knit All (All Access #3)

Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

MAI

Mai

Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?

Theo

Oh man, I’m already drooling

Mai

It is my greatest work to date

Theo

I’ll be the judge of that. What flavors we talking?

Mai

I went with buttercream vanilla, peach and blueberry

Theo

Incredible! Did you design your dress to go with the cake or the cake to go with your dress?

Mai

You know me too well. The cake came after

Theo

A perfect pairing—kudos to you, master creator

M y hands fed fabric through the machine as Theo distracted the camera crew, charming them with tales of woe and wonder. His interference worked for me, allowing me to concentrate on today’s challenge and the designs we needed to achieve.

We had twelve hours to produce two designs for a swimwear brand. The winning designs would be featured in the brand’s summer collection, with all profits going to a charity of our choice.

Now that I had one day of the challenge under my belt, the anxiety of the unknown had eased marginally.

Though, I couldn’t say the same about my desire. Memories of Theo standing in just a towel assaulted me at the most awkward of times throughout the day, sending me into a blushing, bumbling mess.

It appeared that my curse of the unrequited crush had hit with a vengeance—and at precisely the wrong moment.

He’s Theo. THEO! He’s only being nice. The man isn’t into you. Don’t conflate your warm feelings of friendship with desire. It’s not worth it.

Michelle interrupted my self-flagellation.

“I heard a rumor you and Mai have come up with a team name.”

I snorted, glancing up from the machine. “I had nothing to do with it.”

“She’s right, it’s all my genius,” Theo puffed his chest out. “Are you ready for this, Michelle? I need to know if you can handle this awesomeness.”

The host laughed. “I’m ready.”

“Darn Knit All—with a k. Get it? Knit?” Theo chuckled. “Clever, right?”

Michelle shook her head. “Oh, that’s positively horrid.”

“I told you,” I called, snipping a thread. “Don’t encourage him. The puns will only get worse from here.”

I realized my mistake when Michelle took my interaction as an invitation and came over—camera crew in tow—to observe the pieces I’d begun to assemble.

“This is interesting,” she said, examining my sketch. “Tell me about it.”

“We live on the coast in a little town called Capricorn Cove.”

“North Island, right?”

I nodded. “My parents are second-generation Japanese migrants and moved there for my mother’s work. She’s a marine biologist.”

“Fascinating.” Michelle touched the suit. “And this is for her?”

I nodded, feeling strangely emotional. “It was Theo’s idea. He knows that some of my earliest memories are of watching my mother clean her wet suit at the end of each day.”

I traced the embroidered pattern we’d created. “Whenever we faced any kind of life event she would say, ‘ mizu ni nagasu ,’ which means ‘the water flows.’” I ran my finger down the waterfall pattern Theo had designed, tracing the electric blue and red threads. “It’s the equivalent of the English saying, ‘water under the bridge.’ I’m a naturally anxious person, and the reminder to let things go is a sentiment I appreciate, even if I don’t always practice it.”

Warm hands clasped my shoulders, squeezing gently.

I tipped my head back to grin up at Theo. “But we try, right?”

He nodded. “We always try.”

Michelle sighed. “I love it.” She tipped her head to one side. “How do your parents feel about you being on the show?”

I glanced at Michelle, wondering if she was asking because she was interested, or if she was falling into a biased opinion about potential conflict between my parents wanting a different career for their daughter.

“They’re very supportive.” I gestured around the table. “My grandmother was a seamstress. One could say I’m following in the family tradition.”

Michelle grinned. “Oh, I like that. Do you have any examples of your grandmother’s designs?”

“I do.” Theo reached for his back pocket then chuckled. “Sorry, I forgot you guys made us hand over our phones.”

Michelle chuckled. “I’ll be sure to catch up with you later to see them. Good luck, you two.” She left us alone at the table as the clock ticked down.

“I didn’t know you had some of obaasan’s designs.”

He gave me a strained smile. “Why wouldn’t I? Your grandmother is awesome. We text regularly.”

I filed away that revelation for further examination as I raked my gaze over his face. “Are you okay?”

The lines at the corners of his eyes and mouth were pinched, a sure sign he wasn’t.

“I need to sit down,” he admitted, leaning heavily against the workbench. “And I wouldn’t say no to some ibuprofen and a heat pack.”

I hustled, grabbing one of the stools from under the table. “Sit, let me go see what I can find.”

He gestured at the half-completed outfit. “But you need to finish.”

“And we will—together and whole.”

With a sigh, he took the offered seat without protest, his quick acquiescence setting off a fresh round of alarm bells.

Theo never did anything without protest—downplaying his pain and brushing off our attention with a smart comment or smile. The fact he wasn’t protesting my hovering was a testament to how much he had to be hurting.

I searched out the medic who followed me back to our workstation.

“It’s cramping,” she said, after I gently bullied him into letting her examine his thigh. “Likely from overuse. You need to rest and elevate it, if possible.”

Theo tossed back the pain pills, stubbornly ignoring the camera crew who swarmed like flies around our table. “I’m fine, I just need to sit a minute.”

The medic hummed under her breath. “If you’re gonna force this then at least sit for the next hour. I’m not going to order you to leave the set, but I do want you to stay in the competition and the only way you’ll do that is if you take appropriate rest breaks.”

She ripped the back off a heat patch and gently pressed it to his scarred skin. “Promise me, rest.”

Theo nodded, his jaw tight. I met Theo’s gaze over the top of the medic’s head. With a forced smile, he jerked his head at my machine. “Mai, time is wasting.”

I didn’t want to leave him, but the desperate, almost pleading look in his eyes sent me back to my seat.

“Fine,” I said, forcing a lightness I didn’t feel. “But I know you’re faking to get out of this challenge.”

He laughed, then groaned as the medic dug her fingers into the tight knot of convulsing muscle, massaging his flesh. “That’s me—always such a drama queen.”

I bent my head, forcing myself to focus on the task—and not the attractive man who sat in silent agony behind me.

“Thirty-minutes, designers!” Michelle called, sometime later. “And your models have arrived!”

The two models walked to us, both tall and lean. This time, we’d not had an opportunity to pick our model, instead they’d been assigned to us.

They dressed quickly and Theo directed the hair and makeup artists while I completed last-minute hand pinning and stitching, ensuring that each part of the suit lay perfectly against their skin. I could tell it cost Theo dearly to be moving around as his face grew ashen. His laughter sounded forced, and his quips came slower as the clock wound down to zero.

“Tools down!” Michelle called from across the room. “It’s time to strut!”

Thank God, I thought, pressing a hand to Theo’s lower back.

“Are you okay?” I asked, my voice low.

“Let’s just get through this.”

We were once again whisked into the viewing room, and all my worry about the results of the competition dissipated as I sat next to a stoney-faced Theo. His fists were clenched on his thighs, his body held rigid as if a single touch would shatter him into a million pieces.

“What do you need?” I asked in a low voice.

“Pain relief. A crutch. For this to be over.” A shadow of a smile touched his lips. “Don’t worry, Mai. I won’t embarrass you.”

I opened my mouth to protest, knowing he could never embarrass me, but Michelle’s entry music drowned out my protest. Instead, I laid a hand on his leg, hoping he’d understand through my touch what I couldn’t communicate through speech.

The next few minutes were a blur of light, color, and fabric as models strutted down the runway and Erike, Minerva, Alison, and the founder of the brand discussed our creations. They got to ours and I could barely listen, my focus entirely on Theo.

“The fabric choices and mixture of textiles is divine,” Alison enthused.

“I love the cut,” Minerva agreed. “The fit for both models is stunning. And the way they’ve used the embroidery in both pieces to reflect that this is a cohesive collection is an act of genius.”

“I am surprised that these came from Mai and Theo,” Erike said, tapping his chin with a finger. “But I must concur. They seem to have found their rhythm. This is a collection I’d be happy to support.”

The runway show came to an end, and we were mustered for the final announcements.

Hurry, I wanted to scream. Theo needs rest.

“The winner of today’s competition is….” Erike paused for dramatic effect. “Mai and Theo.”

I started, blinking as Theo pulled me into a tight hug, his delighted laughter hot against my cheek.

“You did it, Mai,” he yelled, shaking me back and forth. “You won!”

I drew back to stare into his eyes, a startled giggle bubbling out of my throat. “Oh my God, oh my God!”

He pulled me back into him, squeezing me tight. “So fucking proud of you.”

I gulped in air, holding him just as tight. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Liar,” he laughed.

We drew back a fraction, just enough that I could see Theo’s bright eyes shining as he smiled down at me, his grin wide and sincere, even through his discomfort and pain.

An impulse overtook me. Before I could talk myself out of it, I cupped his cheeks and caught his lips in a quick, soft kiss.

“Thank you,” I murmured, pulling back to search his face for signs of rejection or repulsion. “I know how much today cost you.”

“Don’t mention it.” He cleared his throat. “If this is my reward every time, then we better win more often.”

I slowly let him go, sliding back to stand beside him.

After a tense few minutes, Bec and Meg Pezerczyk were eliminated.

“And then there were five,” Theo murmured as we watched Bec and Meg exit the room.

We were dismissed and I helped Theo from the couch, supporting him as we moved through hotel toward the elevator bank.

We ran into our newly eliminated competitors in the lobby.

“Congratulations!” Bec said, swiping at her tears. “You deserved it.”

“Thank you. I’m sorry you were eliminated.”

She made a dismissive gesture. “Don’t be. Swimwear isn’t in our wheelhouse. It sucks, but we can hold our heads high and say we tried. Right, Meg?”

Meg nodded. “It’s as much about the challenge as it is about the win.”

“That’s what people who lose would say.”

I gasped, turning to see Keeley and Jude approaching.

“Geeze,” Theo muttered against my ear. “Who pissed in their cereal?”

They reminded me of ice royalty—regal and aloof with Nordic features and ice-blonde hair. They were dressed alike in their signature high fashion suits they’d made from rich fabric hand-threaded by monks—or so I’d heard.

Keeley sniffed as she stood near us, staring down her nose at Theo.

I bristled, not liking this interaction one bit.

“Leave it,” Theo warned gently. “They’re not worth the energy pennies.”

The elevator slid open, and we climbed into the car, shuffling to the back to make room for our fellow contestants. Theo stabbed the button for our floor then leaned against the wall, closing his eyes.

I bounced from foot to foot, willing the car to move faster. The silence inside felt deadly.

Keeley and Jude got off first, and we all sighed a breath of relief.

As they exited, I heard Keeley whisper a derogatory, ableist slur under her breath.

My head whipped around to pin her with a look. My anger rose, crashing with my need to protect Theo.

“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” I barked, scowling.

She crossed her arms over her chest. “I said nothing, little girl. Now run along so I can beat you tomorrow.”

Theo chuckled. “Beat Mai? Nah. This woman is gonna wipe the floor with you.” He squeezed my shoulders. “Come on, love. Let’s get you to bed. I want to celebrate your win.”

My anger took a brief back seat as Theo’s lips brushed my cheek, his insinuation clear. But then he stabbed at the close door button, chuckling as it slid shut on Keeley and Jude, and my rage rose red-hot once more.

“I cannot believe,” I growled. “How utterly, obnoxiously, outrageously, horribly?—”

“I think that’s enough descriptors,” Theo said lightly.

“—rude that woman is!”

“Have you heard the rumor about them?” Meg asked.

I shook my head, watching Theo like a hawk. He’d begun to sweat, his jaw tense as the elevator slowly rose toward our floor.

“Rumor has it Jude’s school flopped. They’re broke and need the money to dig them out of the hole.”

I winced. “That sucks for them.”

Meg raised one shoulder in a half shrug. “Does it though?”

Theo snorted, a slight smile touching his cheek as we arrived at our floor. “Have a good night.”

I slipped an arm around Theo’s waist, helping him shuffle down the hall to our room. I swiped the pass on our door, as I helped Theo limp over to the bed. He groaned as he flopped onto the mattress, his hand dropping to his leg.

I sank to my knees beside the bed, still fuming as I automatically reached for Theo’s shoe. He stared down at me as I undid his laces, still fuming.

“We have to beat those smug assholes.” I tugged at his shoe, wrangling it off his foot as he began the process of removing his prosthetic. “I wanna wipe the floor with their stupid smirking faces.”

“So bloodthirsty. This is a side I’ve never seen of you before. I like it.”

I grunted, pulling his sock off and tucking it into his shoe. “I’m not normally provoked.”

I placed Theo’s shoe by the door, then took off my own, slipping into my room slippers with a sigh.

Theo popped some pills out of a blister packet and took a swig of the glass of water he’d left on the bedside table.

“How can I help?” I asked, watching him shift restlessly on the mattress.

“You know any acupuncturists who do house calls?”

I shook my head but held up my hands. “No, but I do know how to dig fingers in and rub.”

He sighed, shuffling until he lay against the cacophony of pillows and cushions at the head of the bed. “I wouldn’t normally say yes but….”

“Yes?” I asked, ensuring I had his permission before I touched him.

“Yes,” he admitted softly. “Fuck, I hate days like these.”

I crawled up the bed to settle beside his thigh. Gently, I rolled up the leg of his pants, pushing the fabric as high as I could get it without drawing it tight against his skin.

I’d seen Theo’s scarring a few times but this felt different. Here he lay vulnerable and hurting as I placed hands on his skin and prayed I could help him.

The muscles felt like lumps of iron under my hands, thick and knotted as they pulsed with cramps.

“Let me get a hot towel.” I moved to the bathroom, running one of the hand towels under hot water then wringing it out. I swiped up my moisturizer before returning to the bed.

He lay flat on his back, his pants removed and dressed only in his boxers and shirt.

“I can put them back on,” he said, gesturing at his jeans.

“No, this is good. It gives me more access.”

I handed him the damp towel, wincing at his gritted hiss.

I applied moisturizer to my hands, then lifted the cloth and tossed it on the side table.

“Don’t judge me,” he murmured as I began to gently knead his muscles. “I’m not Superman.”

“I wouldn’t want you to be.” I bit the inside of my cheek as I found a particularly sensitive spot, causing Theo to grunt in pain.

“No?” he asked through gritted teeth. “Why not?”

I adjusted the pressure and angle, watching his face closely for signs of relief or pain.

“Superman is cool and all, but he’d never be around for birthdays or anniversaries. Saving the world is great, but every day? No thanks.”

Theo tilted his head back, his fingers clenching in the bedsheets as the muscles under my fingers continued to cramp.

“Shit,” he groaned. “Give me a second.”

I paused, hating this for him. I wanted to take his pain and burn it into ash.

“Okay,” he breathed finally, relaxing back on the bed. “I’m good.”

He wasn’t, but I appreciated his attempt to lie.

“How about you?” I asked gently after a long few minutes. My fingers moved, following the scarring on his leg. “You want a Wonder Woman?”

“Nah. I’m dating you.”

I glanced up, finding Theo’s gaze on me.

“Theo, I….” I swallowed, unable to speak but also unable to tear my gaze from his. Our mutual stare broke when I pressed on a particularly sensitive spot.

“Fuck,” he swore, leaning down to grip his thigh. “Jesus that hurts.”

Powerless to ease his pain, I could only continue to gently massage his convulsing muscles.

“I hate to say it,” he sighed. “But I might need to break out a wheelchair tomorrow.”

“Did you bring one with you?”

“No. I thought I’d be okay.”

I bit my lip. “Should we organize one?”

“Let me just get through tonight and then we can work out if I need it tomorrow.”

I nodded, swallowing my protest. I wanted to tell him it was alright, that everything would work out. I wanted to reassure him that I didn’t need him to be anything but well.

But I knew his sense of responsibility and obligation wouldn’t allow him to bow out of tomorrow’s challenge.

I continued to massage his leg, moving up from the sensitive scar tissue that covered him from tip to mid-thigh, to the thick tendons in his upper thigh.

“Did I ever tell you about the incident?” he asked.

I paused, surprised by his question. He’d lain back on the bed, one arm under his head, the other fisted in a pillow on his stomach.

“No, I don’t think so.”

He stared at the ceiling. “You’d remember if I had, it’s not a pleasant story.”

I shifted on the bed, squirting more moisturizer onto my palm. “You don’t have to share.”

“I feel if you’re dedicated enough to knead out the knots in my leg, then the least I can do is tell you how it got fucked up.”

He shifted, stuffing another pillow behind his back. “Like all good stories, this one starts with evil parents.”

I cocked an eyebrow. “I thought it was just evil stepmothers?”

“Not this one.” He scratched his chest. “Once upon a time twin boys were born to a young couple. The man liked to drink, get high and cheat. The woman wanted to be a political mover and shaker, and married him simply because they were both silly enough to get knocked up.”

He blew out a breath. “They didn’t even last three years. The twins’ third birthday was spent with their grandparents.”

I winced. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Our grandparents loved us to distraction. How they raised a fuck-up like Walter, I’ll never know.” He huffed a laugh.

“Your dad had a history of being a not great guy?”

He nodded. “That’s one way to put it. Guy had never heard of the word ‘responsibility.’”

He winced as I touched a sore spot but continued. “I don’t know if you remember, but I played ball in school. And I was good, really fucking good. We’d just won a game, and I’d been scouted. Everything was falling into place. Except Gramps had to go home early, and Linc needed our truck. I’d called him, but he never picked up. Instead of waiting, I accepted an offer from Walter. He’d been at the game.” He shook his head. “I could smell the alcohol on him, but I’d thought, ‘how bad could it be?’” He gestured to his leg. “That bad. He crashed us into a pole, rolled the truck, and walked away completely unscathed.”

“I’m sorry.”

He sighed heavily. “He’s been sober for three years. And my guilty secret is, I fucking hate it.”

I could hear the pain in his voice, see the tension and confusion in his face. “Why?”

“It’s hard to hate someone when you respect them.”

My heart ached for him. “You want to forgive him.”

“Yeah.” He closed his eyes. “He’s good with the grandkids. Trying really hard to avoid using again. Which is another level of head fuckery for me.”

“Because he didn’t try when you got hurt?”

Theo’s gaze met mine, a million unspoken emotions floating in their depths.

“Yeah.”

I worked his leg, easing my way back down toward his knee. “Is there anything I can do?”

He shook his head. “No, I just… Days like today, when I’m in pain, it makes me want to rage at him. But I can’t, you know? ’Cause he’s trying to turn his life around. And I need to respect that effort.”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t be upset.”

“Mm.” He sighed, then reached down to still my hand. “I’m good, Mai. Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

I cleaned up the cloths and lotion, and turned off the lights. Climbing into bed beside Theo, I felt like I’d managed to remove a little of the burden that had weighed him down.

“Thank you for sharing,” I whispered into the dark.

His hand found mine under the blankets. “Thank you for understanding.”

Smiling, I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.