Darn Knit All (All Access #3)

Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

MAI

Mai

I miss you

Theo

Ditto times infinity

Mai

That’s a lot of missing

Theo

T-minus 24 hours and counting….

I ’d spent my final week of the internship working around the clock to deliver on the pieces Erike wanted me to display—ones he’d be proud to endorse.

Our show started in less than three hours.

I paced nervously in the quiet backstage area, my heels clicking on the polished floor.

Just a few weeks ago, I’d been a small-town girl with big fashion dreams. And now, thanks to Erike’s mentorship and this incredible opportunity, those dreams were within reach. But I couldn’t fully savor the moment, not with the weight of our deception hanging over me.

I pulled out my phone to check my messages and winced. My inbox continued to explode with abusive messages from strangers. The show hadn’t even aired yet, and already they’d made assumptions about me and Theo.

I hit delete all and tucked the phone back in my pocket as I attempted to calm my nerves.

“Hey, you okay?”

I turned to find Frankie, Flo and Annie walking my way.

“How was the museum?” I asked, forcing a smile.

My best friends had dropped everything to fly out here and support me. The last week had involved copious amounts of gelato, lots of tears, and far too much red wine.

“I got to touch David’s dick,” Flo enthused, holding up her fingers and wiggling them.

“The museum had a special accessible wing,” Frankie explained. “Which included a touchable replica of Michelangelo’s David.”

“He seemed cold,” Flo said, using her cane to search for a seat. “Or shy.”

I snorted. “The man has had his junk stared at by billions of people. I don’t think he’s shy.”

“How you doing?” Annie asked, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “You ready for tonight?”

I swallowed, glancing at the multitudes of empty chairs around the warehouse. “I’m trying not to think about it.”

Annie slung an arm around my shoulders. “You’ll do great. You’ve worked hard for this.”

“I’m worried that someone might derail it. The public backlash has been brutal.”

My fingers began to dance across my thumb, tapping out a familiar beat.

Flo propped her chin on her hand. “I know it’s hard to ignore their negativity, but don’t give them your peace. They don’t know you or Theo.”

“Speaking of….” Frankie spun her chair until she was seated beside Flo and adopted the same pose. “Tell us more about you and the delectable Mr. Garrett.”

“Yes,” Annie agreed, taking the seat on Flo’s other side, also propping her chin on her hand as she looked at me with a cheeky grin. “All the glory details please.”

“I believe the saying is ‘gory details,’” I said, crossing my arms.

“Not if it involves multiple orgasms.”

Snorting, I too took a seat, opting to sit facing them. “It’s complicated.”

“He’s a man. They overcomplicate everything,” Annie said with a very expressive wave of her hand.

“He believes in me.” I shook my head with a laugh. “And he’s proud of me? As in genuinely delighted by my achievements. It’s….”

“Wonderful,” Flo breathed with a happy little sigh. “He cares for you.”

“He’s also….” I blushed.

Frankie leaned forward. “Ah, now we get to the bedroom. I recognize that look. Spill, missy.”

“He’s respectfully aggressive. Like he’ll throw me around the bedroom but he’ll check to see if I want that first.”

“Consent,” Frankie said with an approving nod. “Good man.”

“I wish someone would throw me around a bedroom,” Flo muttered, her bottom lip jutting out. “All anyone does is compliment me on my ability to walk from one side of a room to another without tripping.”

Annie patted her leg. “You’ll find your person.”

“They better hurry up. My patience is wearing thin.”

“Back to Mai,” Frankie encouraged, gesturing for me to continue.

“I know it’s quick?—”

“It’s not,” Flo interrupted. “You’ve been dating for years—you just didn’t know it.”

“But a friendship relationship is different to a romantic relationship,” Frankie pointed out reasonably. “And moving from one to the other requires courage and open communication. It also requires you to grapple with the reality that it might not work—and to move through that pain.”

I nodded. “That’s part of it. I’m worried that this won’t work out and I’ll lose him. He makes my life better in so many significant and simple ways.”

“You want to explore this with him but you’re worried it will break what you have.”

I blew out a breath at Flo’s statement. “Yeah.”

Flo tilted her head to one side. “Do you trust him?”

“Yes.”

“Then trust he’ll have a care with your heart.”

Flo’s words cut through my doubts. I trusted Theo. He’d supported me through this wild adventure—and had laid his own feelings on the line. I needed to trust that whatever happened, we’d navigate our way through it.

“Ouch!” Annie clutched at her chest. “Damn, girl. Way to lay that truth down.”

“I’m not going to lie.” Frankie grinned. “You and Theo? I didn’t pick it.”

“Odd bunch,” Annie agreed. She flicked her thumb in Flo’s direction. “Always assumed he’d end up with this one.”

“She’s pointing at you, Flo,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Theo and me?” Flo made a face. “God no. Could you imagine? We’re both too optimistic. We need someone to be the realist in the relationship.”

Annie rose from her seat and walked across to place her hands on my shoulders, staring into my eyes.

“What you and Theo have is worth fighting for. I’m going to channel my inner Flo right now and say something super mushy.”

“I can’t wait to hear this,” Flo muttered to Frankie.

“You and Theo make sense. You challenge him in ways no one else can. He’s been clocking in on life for a long time. Being with you is good for him.”

“And for you,” Frankie agreed, pushing her chair forward until her wheels brushed the side of my seat. “He’s helped you find your confidence.”

I blinked rapidly, fighting tears that threatened to fall. “I love you guys.”

“Nawww.” Flo rose up, reaching out a hand for Annie to help guide her across to me. “Group hug!”

We leaned down until we could wrap Frankie in our four-way hug, squeezing tight.

“Alright,” Annie said after a beat, breaking up our love fest. “We need to head back to the hotel and get ready for tonight. You okay if we leave you?”

I nodded. “I’ll be fine.”

“When does your family fly in?” Flo asked, digging through her bag.

I glanced at my watch. “Their plane should have arrived by now. Ren said they’d catch up with me after the event.”

“We’ll try and meet them at the hotel.”

I waved them off, watching them leave the venue.

Slowly, I walked around the backstage area, keeping myself busy as I twisted the ring on my middle finger. Nerves began to build as I contemplated tonight’s show.

Everything will be fine. You’ve worked hard, the models are great, your designs are Erike approved. Everything will be fine.

“Mai?”

I turned to see one of the network’s camera guys waving at me. “Can we get you out front please?”

I followed him around to the front of house where my models were being positioned on stage for different shots.

In all, there were twenty-six designs, each incredibly unique and gorgeous. My chest ached seeing them, knowing I had done that. I had created these exceptional pieces.

“You mind if we get some shots of you?” the camera guy asked, gesturing toward the stage. “Be cool to be able to slice you in on these.”

I nodded, forcing a smile. “Of course.”

We took shots, and they were about to finish when I heard a familiar foot fall.

Theo.

I turned, seeing him standing at the end of the runway, the corner of his mouth lifted into a wry grin. His hair needed a cut, and stubble decorated his cheeks, and he wore a tailored suit that fit so nicely my heart flipped at the sight of him.

“Hey, Ms. Winner,” he greeted, opening his arms wide. “Can I get a hug?”

A sob choked me, and I stumbled forward, tumbling down the runway toward him. He caught me easily, hugging me close.

He cupped my cheeks, pressing kisses over my cheeks, holding me close as I fought for control.

“Theo.”

“Missed you,” he murmured against my lips. “So fucking much.”

Our kiss was fierce and desperate, our hands grasping at each other as if we were alone and naked.

“Phew,” someone said from behind me. “You better be getting this on camera, Phil.”

“Every second,” Phil confirmed.

I pulled back from Theo, suddenly remembering we were far from alone. He murmured a protest but let me go.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” I whispered, searching his face. “How?”

Theo’s expression remained calm and reassuring. “I’m here to support you, Mai. I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

I swallowed. “But what about?—”

“It’s taken care of.”

I frowned. “Theo, I don’t want any more lies or?—”

“Hey,” he hushed me gently, brushing a thumb over my lips. “Do you trust me?”

I gazed into his eyes, seeing the earnestness there, and I nodded. “Yes.”

“Relax,” Theo said with a small smile. “Everything is going to be fine. I promise.”

Before I could question him further, a production assistant appeared, headset on. “Two minutes to showtime, lovebirds! Places please.”

“Places?” I asked, confused as fuck. My show wasn’t due to start for another hour.

Theo caught my hand and pulled me toward the middle of the stage—where two men had carried a couch, positioning it just so.

“Don’t worry. We’re just going to do another interview with Michelle. No biggie,” Theo said, trying to reassure me.

I took a deep breath, trying to center myself and work out what the fuck was happening.

Theo helped me sit, then did the same as a camera crew quickly set up a small tripod. A moment later, Michelle appeared, smiling large.

“Hey, you two,” she said, taking a seat. “I hear today is going to be a great day!”

A guy with a clapboard came up, holding it near my head.

“And in three, two, one. Action!”

He stepped back, and I tried to act normal as Michelle introduced the viewers to Perfect Fit .

Am I in the twilight zone? Haven’t we already done this?

“Now, Theo,” Michelle said with an easy grin. “Tell me, how long have you and Mai been dating?”

“Officially?” He glanced over at me. “She still hasn’t said yes. Unofficially? Years.”

She leaned forward in her seat. “That’s interesting. Our sources have indicated that you might have a few recent dating skeletons in the closet.”

Theo chuckled, placing a hand over mine, halting my nervous twisting of my ring by offering me the reassuring I needed.

“I kept dating after meeting Mai because she didn’t seem interested. I assumed I’d meet someone but I never did.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s always been her.”

My breath caught. He squeezed my hand, his gaze warm, his lips curving up at the sides.

“I tried, you know. But every time I went on a date, I kept wanting to be with you. Tell you the joke I was about to crack, or the story I was about to tell. I wanted to order extra fries and share a plate of chicken wings. Or walk down the street reminiscing about silly shit from our childhoods.”

He lifted my hand to his mouth, brushing a kiss against my knuckles. “You’re it for me, Mai. You always have been. It might have taken lying about the seriousness of our relationship to bring us together, but we were never fake. You’ve had my heart for years. And I just need you to know that.”

My heart pounded in my chest. I wanted so badly to believe this was real—that his words were genuine and not for the cameras.

“Is this real?” I asked softly, searching his face. “Or is this just another lie?”

He brushed the hair from my cheek. “Real. The way I feel about you is real. I love you, Mai. I want to have a future with you.”

I searched his face, seeing nothing but truth written there.

Any fears I had dissipated. We were shifting into new territory that at once felt scary and so utterly right—and I trusted him to hold my heart.

I melted, sinking against him. “I love you too.”

The cameras and crew faded away, until it was just us and this perfect moment.

“I mean it,” he said softly. “You’re my one. The end game.”

I huffed out a laugh. “Then kiss me like you mean it.”

He chuckled. “Yes, ma’am.”

Theo captured my lips in a deep, soulful kiss that seared away the longing, the confusion, the yearning. My doubts vanished as our mouths moved together. His strong hands cupped my face tenderly as he angled his head to deepen the kiss. My fingers slid into his thick hair, holding him close, never wanting this perfection to end.

Someone nearby cleared their throat. “Uh, guys? The cameras are still rolling.”

We broke apart, breathless and flushed. Michelle looked on with an amused grin.

“Well, I think that passionate display just removed any lingering doubts about the authenticity of your relationship!” She chuckled. “Why don’t we take a quick break and then we’ll resume.”

Theo hauled me up, leading me through the backstage area to a private dressing room. Once inside, I turned to face Theo, my pulse racing.

“What you said... did you mean it?”

Theo’s expression was open and sincere as he took both my hands in his. “Every word, Mai. I never should have let things get this far without being honest about my feelings for you. I love you.”

Tears pricked my eyes. “I’ve been in love with you for so long. I just never thought you saw me as more than a friend.”

He gasped playfully. “Shame on you for not giving in to my animal magnetism.” He cupped my face tenderly. “You’re my everything, Mai. My partner, my best friend, the love of my life. I don’t want to spend another day without you knowing that.”

A giddy laugh bubbled up from my chest. “I love you so much.”

“So we’re official?” he asked, kissing his way down my neck.

I tilted my head back, giving him better access. “Let’s not be too hasty.”

“I’ll show you hasty.”

Our lips met again, soft and sweet this time, sealing our declarations with a promise. When we finally parted, I rested my forehead against his.

“What do we do now?” I asked.

“Anal?”

“Theo!”

He chuckled. “Nothing, babe. The footage is just for us. Michelle agreed because I didn’t know how else to tell you. Celeste—who likes me, I told you she’d come around—spoke to the producers. They’ve agreed to let us re-film and to edit parts of the program before it goes to air. We’ll be able to tell our real story.”

“Really?”

“Mm.” He winced. “On one condition.”

“And that is?”

He cleared his throat. “She told me about your pitch for Theo Tries. ”

I stiffened. “Are you okay with that? I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t want to get your hopes up and?—”

His lips curved into a wry smile. “Okay? Mai, you’re a fucking genius. I haven’t been this excited since—” His gaze dropped to my breasts. “Well, you know.”

I snorted, shoving him. “Tell me more. When does filming start? Where is Celeste sending you first? Are you nervous? Where do you want to go?”

“Later.” He kissed my forehead, then my cheek, working his way down to my neck. “We have something more important to do.”

“And that is?” I repeated, tilting my head to give him greater access.

“Make love in this room.”

I laughed, then groaned as Theo’s lips found that sensitive spot behind my ear.

His deep voice rumbled against my skin. “I need you, Mai. I want to worship every inch of your gorgeous body. Let me show you exactly how much I adore you.”

A shiver of anticipation raced down my spine. “What are you waiting for?”

Theo’s answering grin was positively wicked. In a flash, he scooped me up and carried me over to the plush sofa, laying me down gently. He hovered over me, his eyes dark with desire.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured reverently. “I can’t believe I get to call you mine.”

My heart swooned. I reached up to caress his jaw, the stubble rasping against my fingers. “I’ve always been yours, Theo. Now and forever.”

Our mouths crashed together in a heated kiss, lips and tongues tangling. Theo’s strong hands roamed my body, setting my skin ablaze. I arched into his touch, desperate to be closer, needing him.

We made quick work of our clothes, our movements frantic. When there was finally nothing between us but skin, Theo paused, his gaze drinking me in as he rolled on a condom.

“Perfection,” he breathed. “Absolute perfection.”

“I could say the same.”

We came together in a crash of limbs and breaths. Driving each other higher with teasing and taunts, our bodies moved together in perfect unity.

“I love you,” I cried, coming around his thick cock.

“Fuck, I love you too,” he groaned, and I relished the desperation in his declaration.

We lay together, snuggling on the couch in the aftermath.

“Happy?”

I traced a pattern across his chest, reflecting. I’d achieved more than I’d ever dreamed, and I felt lucky to have experienced it with my best friend by my side.

My answer was a non-issue.

“Blissfully so,” I admitted, pressing a kiss to his chest. “You?”

“Of course.” He pulled me closer. “I’ve got my whole world right here.”

“Oh, that’s slick.” I giggled, letting him kiss my ear.

Our moment of peace was spectacularly shattered when I heard the doorknob turn.

“Mai?” Ren called. “You in here?”

Theo rolled me under him, his bare ass presented toward the door. “Get the fuck out!”

The door’s momentum halted.

“Theo?” Ren sounded confused.

“Yes,” he ground out, ignoring my hysterical silent giggles. “Can you give us a minute?”

The door remained partially open.

“By us do you mean…?”

Theo mumbled something under his breath then lifted his head. “If you walk through that door, you’re getting something knitted for Christmas!”

I stared up at him, baffled by this declaration, but Ren appeared to understand.

“Good to know. We’ll see you both shortly.” As he pulled the door closed, I heard my mother asking why they couldn’t see me.

“They’re filming,” my brother lied. “Let’s go see if there’s somewhere we can get some coffee.”

Door firmly shut, I fell into body-shaking laughter, gasping for breath as tears ran down my face.

“Oh, laugh it up,” Theo muttered, pushing away from the couch with a small smile. “Your grandmother nearly saw my ass.”

I slowly sobered, wiping the tears of amusement from my cheeks. “I’m sorry, but it is hilarious.”

“Mm.” He handed me my clothing, brushing a kiss across my forehead. “Certainly one to tell the grandkids.”

My heart flip-flopped a little in my chest at the casual mention of our future.

We dressed and found my family claiming prime seats in front of the runway. My grandparents, parents and siblings had made the journey—on the network’s dime—and the cameras caught every minute of our reunion.

“Proud of you,” my obaasan whispered, tears shimmering on her lashes. “Enjoy tonight.”

I farewelled them before heading backstage, my nerves beginning to rise.

I touched the ring on my finger three times before lifting my hand to my mouth and pretending to eat. It didn’t help lessen my anxiety, but it did make it more bearable.

Models, staging assistants, production crew, and cameras bustled about and for a while it seemed everyone needed my attention.

“How would you like her hair?”

“Is this fit correct?”

“Do you want a dark eyeshadow or a light to offset the dress?”

“Mai, this jacket seems to be too short in the arms.”

“Could you give me a moment?” I’d asked at one point, needing a second to breathe. “I’m feeling a little panicked.”

The crew backed off, the models taking the pause to sip their drinks or chat with each other about their other shows.

No one protested or judged me. No one even cared that I was enforcing a boundary. They just did it.

It was only as I took my place in the wings of the stage as the lights dimmed and the music slowly rose that I realized what I’d done.

I’d survived.

No.

I’d thrived . I’d been anxious, fretting, nervous. I’d experienced a rollercoaster of emotions today, and yet I’d pushed through it.

I peeked out of the wings, searching the crowd. There, front and center, sat my beautiful family and friends.

“Are you ready?”

I turned to find Erike standing behind me looking rather dashing in a three-piece suit.

“No,” I answered with a small grin. “But let’s do it anyway.”

He linked arms with me, standing beside me as he nodded to the stage manager who began the official countdown.

“You should be proud of yourself. You’ve done an excellent job.”

“I am,” I agreed, surprised to find that I wasn’t lying.

“Good.” He squeezed my arm. “Now enjoy your show.”

The music blared as the first model stepped out onto the stage, the light catching on the red and pink pattern of her dress.

I heard the sound of approval from the audience, and breathed out a long sigh of relief.

The music continued as each model strode confidently down the catwalk, showing off the designs I’d poured my soul into.

With a flourish, the music finished and Erike gave me a little push toward the stage.

“Your turn,” he murmured as I stepped out, my heart in my throat.

The crowd rose to their feet, applause thundering down toward me as the models parted and I stepped into the spotlight.

I raised a hand, giving a little wave of acknowledgement as the applause continued.

I narrowed my gaze, finding my family as they celebrated my moment.

Frankie, Jay, Annie and Linc were on one side, clapping and cheering. Next were my parents, beaming with pride. My grandparents were still seated, but both smiling widely as they clapped, stomping their feet. Beside them stood my sister and her partner. Keiko held up an iPad, turning it around for me to see Yasmin and Maeve waving frantically on the screen.

I laughed, waving back.

Finally, Ren stood with his arm around Flo as he whispered in her ear. She waved, and I blew them a kiss, grinning when Ren whispered once again in her ear—no doubt telling her I’d seen her.

But it was the man in the dashing suit jacket that caught my attention.

Theo’s smile beamed at me, the pride shining in his eyes. Our gazes caught.

“I love you,” he mouthed at me, his words swept away by the crowd. “Proud of you.”

Tears clogged the back of my throat as I took a breath and glanced around, committing every second of this moment to memory.

Staring back at him, I smiled.