Dating Her Brother’s Best Friend (Silver Spoon Single Serve)

3. Caroline

CHAPTER 3

CAROLINE

“You are such an idiot, Caroline Steele,” I whisper to myself, throwing myself down on my couch as another wave of tears threatens to roll down my cheeks. I fight them back, trying desperately not to cry, even though every part of me wants to curl up in a ball and sob.

I left my heart somewhere back there at Midnight Brew, shattered into pieces on the floor. And the absolute worst part is… he was right there, watching it break.

The whole point of concealing my identity was so he never knew it was me until I had a chance to show him that he could love me, too. I didn’t want him to see me as Asa’s little sister. I didn’t want that label hanging over my head. For once, I just wanted to be a woman to him, someone he could get to know without the threat of my brother or our history as “just friends” hanging over us. By the time we went on our date, I wouldn’t just be Asa’s little sister or “one of his buddies” to him anymore. I’d be someone he could see himself dating, see himself falling in love with.

And it was all for nothing. I didn’t even get past the first email.

Of course, he hasn’t been sitting around all this time, waiting for me like I have been for him. While I was off at college and graduate school, he fell in love with someone who isn’t me.

And now, I have to spend the rest of my life watching him love her. She’ll wear his ring. She’ll have his babies. She’ll be the one who knows what it’s like to go to sleep in his arms and wake up next to him.

Jealousy is a petty, corrosive emotion, but I feel it anyway.

I guess that’s what I get for letting myself believe in fairy godmothers. I should have packed the fairytales away years ago.

I drag my phone out of my pocket, my bottom lip quivering as I quickly tap out a text.

Me

I’m calling the whole thing off. He’s in love with someone else. Sorry I wasted your time.

I don’t wait for the woman who runs the dating agency to respond. I just turn my phone off, curl up… and let myself cry.

I must cry myself to sleep because a soft knock on the door jolts me awake a while later. I scrub my hands down my face as I sit up, trying to get myself together. It’s probably one of my brothers coming to check on me. They’re always breathing down my neck.

I stumble to the door, not even bothering to check the peephole, and throw it open.

My heart collides with my breastbone when I see Jeremy leaning against the porch railing, his baseball cap pulled down low over his cobalt eyes, his square jaw set, and his hands shoved deep inside the pockets of his faded jeans. The way his Henley stretches over his broad chest isn’t fair.

I’m not mentally or emotionally prepared to deal with the sight of him right now.

“What are you doing here?” I demand.

Worry flares in his cobalt eyes as he pushes away from the railing. “Came to check on you,” he says, his voice a deep rumble that makes my stomach ache the way it always does. “What’s wrong, sweets? Talk to me.”

Talk to him? And tell him what? That he broke my heart into tiny pieces that I already know I’ll never be able to put back together? Or maybe that I’ve stupidly envisioned every moment of my future as being with him since the moment I met him? No, thanks. I’ve said more than enough for one day.

“I told you I didn’t feel well,” I lie. “You should probably go before you catch whatever I have.”

He narrows his eyes on me, pausing in front of me. “I’m not afraid of catching anything from you, Caroline.”

“Yeah, well, other people in your life might not feel the same way. You really shouldn’t make that decision for them,” I say.

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“It means… go home.”

“Hell no. Not until you talk to me. We both know you didn’t run out of there because you’re sick. Tell me why you really ran.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lie again, crossing my arms defensively.

“Yeah, you do.” He steps toward me, his eyes flashing in a way that makes my whole body ache. Jeremy is as calm as the deepest parts of the ocean. There are hidden depths and currents to him no one ever sees. He’s also as immovable as a mountain… more stubborn than I am. He doesn’t dig his heels in often, but when he does, there is no moving him. He does exactly what he wants, how he wants, and damn what anyone says.

It’s the sexiest thing to me. And he has that look in his eyes right now—like he isn’t going to give up or back down until he gets exactly what he wants. I shouldn’t find it nearly as attractive as I do. And yet, anytime he looks at me like that, I can’t help but wonder what it’d be like to have that implacable focus unleashed on me, to be the one thing in the world he wants badly enough to dig in his heels for and fight like hell.

God help me, but I want to know what it’s like to have him all over me when he’s like this. I’ve dreamed about it so many times it’s ridiculous. But he isn’t mine. And I don’t get to have those fantasies anymore.

“I didn’t run, Jeremy. I walked slowly and carefully. And then I drove my ass home and went to sleep on my couch.” I scowl at him. “Where I’d still be if you weren’t out here bugging me now. So, if you don’t mind…” I turn for the door, intending to leave him standing on the porch, arguing with himself.

Before I can even take a step, he hooks an arm around my waist, hauling me up against his chest. His hand tangles in my hair, his lips coming down on mine in a hard kiss. I gasp in shock, only to find his tongue sweeping inside my mouth, stealing my breath.

“Goddamn,” he breathes against my lips, squeezing my hip.

The sound of his voice… the feel of his hands on my body… the scent of his cologne swirling around me… Hell, even the heat of his big body searing into me feels like cold water poured over my head. The man of my dreams is kissing me after admitting that he’s in love with someone else.

Oh. Hell. No.

I jerk myself out of his arms, making sure I stomp on his foot in the process. “Don’t ever touch me again,” I hiss. “I swear to God, Jeremy. I will shiv you if you do.”

“Caroline, baby, wait…”

“And don’t call me that!” I cry, storming inside. “I won’t be a homewrecker! Not even for you!”

“Caroline, dammit. You’ve got it all?—”

I slam the door on him so hard the glass panes rattle in the sill, and immediately flip the lock. Naturally, he tries turning the door knob two seconds later.

Tears well in my eyes.

“Caroline!” he shouts, frustration seething in his tone. “Open the damn door. We need to talk.”

“No, we don’t!” I shout back, my heart pounding as anger and sadness race through me. “Go home, or I’m calling Asa.”

“Please, open the door,” he calls.

“Go home!” I press my hand to my mouth, trying to hide the way my voice cracks on a barely-restrained sob. He’s in love with someone else, but he just freaking kissed me! The man of my dreams is a jerk. Talk about a double whammy. He shattered my heart and my illusions all in one stupid day.

Either he hears me crying, or he finally realizes that I’m serious because when he speaks again, he sounds stricken, like he’s in pain. “Christ, Caroline,” he whispers. “I’m sorry. Please don’t cry. I’m going to fix it. I promise, I’ll fix it. Just… don’t cry, sweets.”

Except, I don’t think he can fix this one. The damage is done. And I’m mad as hell about it. I wait by the front door until I hear his truck start up and then risk a peek out, exhaling a shaky breath as I see him backing out of the driveway.

I stomp across the living room, snatching my phone from the couch with shaking hands. I turn it on, ignoring the messages and calls from the woman at the dating agency, trying to convince me to give her one more chance, and text Asa instead.

Me

Your best friend is an asshole.

Asa

Well… yeah. Obviously.

What’d he do?

Me

He kissed me.

Ha! I hope Asa hunts him down and leaves pieces of him scattered all over town. Okay, maybe not anything that extreme. I’d feel really guilty if he did that. But maybe he can threaten him a little?

Asa

Oh.

Me

Oh? Oh?!

Asa

Congratulations?

Me

I hate you.

Asa

No, you don’t. And you love him.

Me

What? No, I don’t.

Asa

Lie to yourself if you want, but you can’t lie to me. I know you. He’s your one.

I plop down on my couch, gaping at my phone. For an idiot, my brother has his moments. Apparently, this is one of them. But I expected a little more outrage. Where are the threats of bodily harm? The promises of vengeance? His response is seriously underwhelming.

I should have texted Aidan instead.

Me

He’s seeing someone else, you idiot.

Asa

LOL. I don’t know who told you that, but they lied. He’s never been able to see past you.

I drop the phone in shock, only to pick it back up, my heart in my throat.

Me

What? He said that he’s in love with someone else.

That’s more or less exactly what he told me. Thanks, but no thanks. “ I’m in love with someone else .” Did I misunderstand? No, I couldn’t have. He was crystal clear. As usual, Asa just doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Honestly, I don’t know how someone as smart as my brother is as oblivious as he is.

Asa

This has nothing to do with me. Talk to him, Caroline.

Me

No, thanks.

I drop my phone on my lap, groaning. Asa has lost his mind. Jeremy isn’t in love with me. He told me so himself. I have it in writing.

“Oh, crap.” I jerk upright, reality crashing down on me like a ton of bricks. He did tell me he was in love with someone else. But he doesn’t know I’m the one who sent that email.

Could Asa actually be right for once? Was Jeremy talking about me?

“No,” I whisper, shaking my head, and refusing to go there. With the sting of heartbreak still fresh, I can’t go there. Because I’m not sure I’ll survive it if he shatters me a second time. Once hurts more than enough.