Dear Santa, Send Me a Cowboy

Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

DIANA

O h fuck, what did we just do…

What did I just let him do, and why did I want to do it again?

After I scurried off into the house with flushed cheeks, a sore ass, and an insatiable hunger for cowboy cock, I ran straight into my bedroom to change. I was beyond horrified with myself. Not just from what he did, but how it made me feel.

I never wanted it to end.

Running my mouth off to a man never felt so satisfying. Having him spank the attitude right out of me until I was a panting mess was something I could have never expected to happen, let alone enjoy.

His never-ending punishment.

His rough, calloused palms on my skin.

I felt like I was transported into a whole other universe I never knew existed, and I wanted more.

Foolishly, I wanted a lot more.

Once I was stripped of my clothes, I decided against wearing anything sexy and dressed back into my pajamas. Impressing Lawson was the last thing on my mind, especially now that he had already taken the liberties with both my attention and personal space.

I also didn’t want him thinking that anything more would happen between the two of us. No matter how desperate I was.

After fixing myself up and mentally preparing myself for when Lawson came back into my house, I spent the remainder of my time in the kitchen preparing some hot chocolate.

To get my mind off things.

And it seemed to be working until I heard the familiar sound of heavy boots stomping through the door.

“Darlin’? You in here?” Lawson's voice echoed through the house as if it belonged here. As if he’d stepped into this house over a hundred times, with his boots stomping across the hardwood floor and a “honey I’m home” presence.

Instead of responding, I reached for the cup of hot chocolate I had just made and went searching for the cowboy. It didn’t take long for me to find him, lingering in the living room with his attention focused on a wall of pictures of Silvan and me.

Jesus.

I could only imagine the wave of regret washing over him as he gazed at the photo of my son and I hugging each other. It was the splash of water in our faces that we needed to tell us I was the single mother, while he was the dutiful son of a tree farmer.

It made my stomach drop.

Then as if he could sense my apprehension filling the room, he turned his big body around to face me. His eyes went soft almost immediately and I couldn’t stop my cheeks from flushing.

“You make that for me, Diana?” he teased with the arch of his brown, bushy brow, but all I could seem to focus on was that perfectly sculpted mustache and lips that had just been all over the contours of my ass.

I had beard burn in places one should never have beard burn, and yet I wanted more.

“Don’t read too much into it, cowboy. It’s just a small token of my appreciation for dropping off my tree and fixing those lights.” I tried my hardest to maintain my composure, with my chin lifted high and void of emotion, but the second I entered his space, it all seemed to crumble.

The corner of his mouth twitched.

“Right.” He chuckled as he took a step toward me, making it nearly impossible for me to breathe. “Wouldn’t want me thinkin’ that you actually like havin’ me around.”

The heat radiating from him was insane. My upper lip began to sweat.

“Why does it matter whether I like you or not?” I lifted the mug between us, hoping he’d take the hint to grab it. I felt myself unraveling, teetering on the edge of doing something stupid like begging him to finish what he started outside.

And as much as I wanted to blame it on a lapse of judgment, it was more than obvious I’d let him do anything he wanted.

With his stare still fixed on mine, he placed his palm onto the side of the mug, making sure he had those thick fingers pressed up against my own. It was obvious he intended to elicit some sort of response from me in doing so.

“Might not matter to you, but don’t worry, I plan on fuckin’ all that hate you have for me out of you.”

I gasped, my hand falling from the mug as shock coursed through me.

Then very smugly, he brought it up to his curved mouth and took a slow sip, all the while having his eyes trained on mine.

“You’re very… forward, cowboy.” I glared, despite all the naughty images floating around in my head. “And very fucking mistaken if you think I’m letting you fuck me.”

The creases beside his eyes deepened as he lowered the mug. Then sticking the tip of his tongue out, he dragged it across his lower lip in a slow, deliberate motion that had my whole body heating.

“You like forward, just how you liked having my hands and mouth all over your ass outside.”

Planting my hands onto my hips, I cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Who said anything about me liking it? My ass is sore and most likely has frostbite because of you.”

It was a blatant lie, but I had no other choice other than to divert.

His jaw had gone taut, almost as if I had insulted him. Even pissed off he was still painfully good-looking, if not more.

“Then let me make it better, Diana.” He set the cup down onto an end table before taking a step toward me. “Let me at least try to be what you need tonight.”

I scoffed, hating the way my heart galloped.

“And how do you know what I need tonight?”

Another step forward, I could feel my knees starting to buckle.

“Because I’m not a stupid man. I know I’m not alone in this. Whatever I feel, you fuckin’ feel too, and from the way you’re breathin’ right now, it’s clear you want me to do somethin’ we both desperately want.”

My ragged breaths immediately slammed to a halt.

“That’s not… No, I don’t?—”

“Just stop,” he growled, stopping his boots inches away from my bare feet. “Tired of listenin’ to that gorgeous fuckin’ mouth of yours spew out nothin’ but lies.”

I went to defend myself, but as soon as I opened my mouth, he reached for the zipper on his jacket.

“Love the sass, love that you’re capable and have this home for your son and you, but holy fuck, woman…” He tugged the zipper down his broad chest, drawing my eyes to closely follow the movement. “You’re the most stubborn, bullheaded, indecisive female I have ever met and despite all the reasons why I shouldn’t want you, I do. Fuckin’ Christ do I want you.”

My legs had officially turned into Jell-O while my heart went into overdrive. I could barely breathe, let alone believe that this stunning, larger-than-life man wanted me.

There was no possible way, but my doubts had quickly faded as he stripped himself of his jacket, revealing a dark gray Henley that clung to each contour and muscle he possessed.

“You… You want me for tonight. Not for the long haul, Lawson.” My voice trembled as my gaze swept all over his upper half.

Peering down at me, he tossed the jacket over the back of my couch.

“You want long haul? I’ll give you whatever you want, Diana, as long as you voice it.”

Then, in a flash, I was being grabbed and lifted off the ground. Letting out a squeal, my hands sought out the back of his neck for stability, and my legs found purchase around his middle.

“I don’t know what I want,” I admitted, my voice filled with uncertainty and desire, a cruel mix of emotions that I wasn’t equipped to handle.

Physically, I wanted him.

I wanted him all night long and then some, but anything after that… It seemed reckless.

I barely knew the man and he was already talking about forever.

Why?

“You want me,” he firmly stated as he drew me in closer. “You want someone reliable, someone fuckin’ worthy, who won’t throw in the towel just because you’re a whole lot of woman to handle.” He began to walk us through the living room until we reached the couch and slowly lowered us. As I settled into him, I felt his rock-hard cock prodding me, desperate to be unleashed from beneath those tight Wranglers. “You want loyalty. You want a constant presence in your son's life—someone who won’t feel burdened or shy away from the challenge of raising another man's son.”

His eyes did not once left mine as he laid bare his declarations that were impossible to ignore.

“You want a man, darlin’. But not just any man, right?” The corner of his mouth curled as he planted his hands flat onto my thighs. “You want a cowboy.” He rolled his hips into me, causing his buckle to roll over my clit. “With charm and who won’t fuck around on you.”

A pleasurable exhale escaped my lips. But once its effects had faded, my brain started to register the words he had just said.

I recognized those words.

I knew them far too well.

When I noticed the knowing glint in his gaze, it became unmistakable what he had done, or what he had read, I should say.

“Lawson, did you…” A mixture of anger and embarrassment flooded me. I almost couldn’t believe that he had stumbled upon my Dear Santa letter, but the longer I searched into his eyes for answers, it became painfully clear that he read it.

Oh my god, kill me now.

“You read my letter?” I asked, disbelief crashing over me. My heart pounded as a wave of vulnerability crashed over me, an emotion I hadn’t experienced in years.

Most of what I had written were drunken desires. A humorous attempt at trying to forget my loneliness for one night and embrace the idea of having someone around. Yet, buried within those words, there was also truth there. Fragile, painful truths that I never imagined someone would uncover.

“I saw it on your counter. I knew I should have left it alone, but I felt fuckin’ compelled to read it.” Taking his hand, he cradled the side of my face with his palm. As much as I wanted to pull away from him, I couldn’t.

His gaze looked sincere.

The way he held my face made me feel like the most precious thing in the world and I wanted to cling onto the immense feeling it was giving me forever.

“There’s nothing to feel embarrassed about, Diana. I’m the asshole here. I was snooping. And clearly, it wasn’t meant for anyone else to read, but I wouldn’t take it back.”

Sweeping his thumb along the contours of my face, his stare never left mine.

“Maybe I was always meant to find you, Diana. That dropping off your tree wasn’t just a coincidence, and reading your Dear Santa letter only solidified my belief." Now tracing his thumb over the outline of my lips, I felt the air slowly being vacuumed from my lungs. “Everything you wrote, every desire and longing, every hope and wish, it practically read, ‘I need Lawson Boone,’ without you even realizing it. And I’ll be damned if I let that go.”

My jaw dropped in shock. This impossibly arrogant, sinfully handsome cowboy actually thought that my “Dear Santa” letter had come true—that he, of all people, was the one who was the answer to the desperate words I had written.

He genuinely believed that we were meant to be.

That he was the cowboy I wished for.

“Tell me I’m wrong,” he said, his voice dripping in impatience as he dipped the tip of his thumb inside my mouth. Then scraping it along the tops of my teeth, he hooked his finger inside and gradually widened my mouth. “Tell me that I wasn’t exactly what you imagined, darlin’.”

As my tongue brushed against his finger, I noticed the heat clouding his gaze.

With his body sprawled back against the couch, he leaned in close, his stare fixated on my lips as if he couldn’t believe I was allowing this to happen.

“Jesus, Diana…” He used the thumb still in my mouth to gently pry it open wider. In a matter of seconds, his eyes went dark. “You goin’ to let me fuck this mouth later? Or is it too sore from all that arguing you were doing with me?”

I quickly snapped my mouth shut onto his finger, firmly biting down onto his thumb, until I got my point across. Grinning like a psychopath, he not once tried to pull away from my gnawing teeth. Instead he took the opportunity to grab ahold of my waist and squeeze.

“Did that set you off, darlin’? Or are you just hungry?” he teased, a wicked smirk turning on the corner of his mouth, sending my insides into a gooey mess.

God, why did he have to be so good-looking?

Growling in frustration, I released his thumb and attempted to slide off his lap. But the grip he had on my waist tightened, a firm warning that I shouldn’t test him any further than I already had.

“Yeah, hungry for blood.”

His eyebrow lifted.

“That right?” He did another mind-numbing swivel of his hips, this time pressing the edge of his buckle right up against my clit. “You sure you’re not hungry for anything else?”

Fuck.

Of course I was. What woman wouldn’t be? But that wasn’t the problem. The real problem was that this self-assured, dangerously charming cowboy was challenging the carefully constructed life I had built—one of solitude and raising Silvan on my own without the help of a man.

Yet, beneath my defensive exterior, there was a longing for nights like these. Filled with endless pleasure and intimacy that I’ve been deprived of.

And Lawson Boone was the perfect man to have me question everything.

“Quit overthinking and focus on me.” He brought me back with a firm, upward thrust. “Focus on how good this feels.”

My palms used his shoulders as leverage and he began to rock himself into me.

“Lawson…” My breath caught as he established a rhythm of forceful thrusts that sent tingles down my whole body. “What are you— Oh!” with a firm hand on my waist, he expertly guided his buckle in a slow, teasing figure-eight motion.

Even through the soft fabric of my pajama bottoms, every contour and ridge came alive beneath me.

It was nothing short of fucking divine.

Throwing my head back, I couldn’t stop the moan that fell past my lips.

“Fuck yeah, Diana. You look absolutely breathtaking right now,” he grunted, relentless in his mission at making me obsessed. “Tell me—how long has it been for you? Tell me the last time a man had you like this.”

Never.

No man had ever made me feel so alive with longing, but there was no way I was going to admit that to him. He didn’t need any more fuel for his already inflated ego.

“A while,” I panted.

His brows were drawn inward, but it was clear my answer had given him some sort of sick satisfaction.

“Yeah? How about an orgasm? And I’m not talking about a half-assed one that leaves you wanting more.” His free hand had found its way up my shirt, his fingers teasing their way up toward my breasts. They felt heavier, fuller than usual, like they were desperate for his touch that was soon coming.

Moments later, he engulfed my whole breast into his large hand. Squeezing, kneading, pleasuring.

My eyes rolled.

“I’m talking about a proper fuckin’ orgasm. The kind that leaves you on the edge of your seat, your vision blurring, and your legs feeling like they could give out at any moment.”

Oh my god.

The mouth on this man. I don’t think I’d ever get enough of it.

“That’s… that’s none of your business.”

It was obvious my answer was that of a woman who had yet to have that type of experience, but that didn’t stop him from pressing on.

“I’m makin’ it my business,” he said through gritted teeth as he switched up his thrusting, and pulled me down onto his hardness.

“I haven't’!” I cried out, head tossed back and desperate to feel more of him. “I’ve never… I’ve never had anything like that.”

His movements stopped altogether. At first, I felt annoyed that he stopped but as my desire-filled haze cleared, I took in his expression.

Awe.

Longing.

So much need that I could feel myself leaking my wetness into his lap.

His gaze unblinking, he removed his hand from my breast and buried it into the hair on the back of my head.

“We’ll take it slow,” he reassured, his touch soothing as it grazed my skin. “The ball’s in your court now, Diana. Do what you want to me. Whatever the hell you want, and I’ll gladly take it.”

My chest inflated at his words.

Do what you want to me.

He was handing over the power, a man so intent on proving that I was entirely too bossy. I knew it couldn’t have been easy to submit himself like that. Lawson was built like I was. Independent, dominant, and liked things a certain way, so having him give that up for me, it made me see him in a whole new light.

And as much I loathed to admit it, I found myself craving his submission just as much as I loved having him put me in my place.

His surrender only made things more challenging for me.

For my heart.

We both seemed to be caught up in the anticipation of what my next move was going to be. Whether I would challenge him like before or give in. The air had turned thick with wild, pumping hearts and tattered breaths. Then taking a deep breath, I began to rise from his lap, feeling the weight of his gaze on me.

Concern flickered across his face, mingling with annoyance and perhaps even anger, but he eased his grip and let me stand.

As I faced him, I swallowed hard, forcing down the nervous lump in my throat before meeting his eyes.

With a sudden rush of confidence, I hooked my fingers into the hem of my pajama pants and yanked them down my legs, leaving me exposed and dripping onto the carpet below me. His gaze turned dark with raw arousal, wide and hungry.

His reaction set me ablaze.

“Keep the pants on, cowboy,” I teased, a playful smirk hitting my lips.

Then from the adrenaline of the moment, I boldly climbed back into his lap, bracketing my legs on each side of his wide-set thighs.