Dear Santa, Send Me a Cowboy

Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

DIANA

T o my reluctance, I let Lawson drive us in his big-rig truck as we set off to go find Silvan. It didn’t take much to persuade me considering it was turning into a damn blizzard outside, yet it still felt oddly foreign to relinquish control and let someone else take charge of my safety.

It wasn’t that I didn’t appreciate it, but more so, it wasn’t something that I was used to.

After multiple attempts of calling and texting Silvan, the fear of his well-being was beginning to weigh heavy on me. Though his location hadn’t moved from the movie theater, I was still plagued with worries.

“Hey, darlin’, breathe.” Lawson reached for my thigh, squeezing it reassuringly.

I wasn’t aware that both my knees were bouncing uncontrollably but the instant his large palm made contact, my whole body relaxed.

“Deep breaths, baby, we’re almost there.” His soothing voice wrapped around me like a warm embrace. It was comforting for my frayed nerves.

I stole a quick glance at him and noticed a flicker of concern in his gaze each time he brushed over at me. His worry was blatant, but it was a reminder he was here to stay every step of the way.

“I just want to bring him home,” I mumbled under my breath, trying desperately not to cry.

His hold on my thigh tightened, drawing my focus back to him.

“We’ll bring him back home, Diana. Safe and sound, I fuckin’ swear it.”

My heart swelled immensely as I gave him a choked-up nod, desperately clinging on to the last remnants of strength I had within me.

The remainder of the drive was spent in silence, but the second Lawson pulled his truck into the movie theater parking lot, I became a whirlwind of frantic breaths and anxious energy.

“Let me out here!” I undid my buckle as the truck came to a stop at the front of the building.

“I’ll be in right after I park, okay?” His words barely registered as all I could focus on was finding my son. I gave him a quick nod before hopping out and hauling ass through the front door of the theater.

My panicked eyes went everywhere. From left to right, I took in all my surroundings with the intensity of a wild woman. And when my frantic stare scanned over the tiny arcade shoved into the corner of the building, I captured a flash of messy dark hair.

A tight knot of instinct coiled in my gut, and before I knew it, I was running in that direction.

“Silvan!” I shouted, my voice cutting through the crowds of moviegoers, not caring that all curious eyes were now on me.

As I approached, his head spun around as his confused gaze took me in.

“Mom?” He stood up from the seat of the driving game he was playing and moved toward me. The second he was in reaching distance, I threw my arms around his shoulders and pulled him in close. “What… What are you doing here?”

Profound relief overcame me as all my senses took in this moment. It was as if my heart had found the strength to beat again, free from the weight of pain and sorrow. I held him to me like he might fade away. Tighter and tighter I squeezed, inhaling his familiar scent that had lingered since childhood.

“God, baby, what were you thinking? Your dad called saying he couldn’t find you this morning…” As I pulled back from our hug, I palmed each side of his face with my hands. “Jesus, Silvan, you had me worried sick…”

Staring into those innocent brown eyes, I felt on the verge of tears again.

“Mom, I’m okay, I swear. I just… I couldn’t stay in that house with him any longer. He promised it would just be the two of us. He made me believe that he actually wanted to get to know me?—”

“What did he do?” I interrupted. My maternal instincts flaring almost immediately.

His bottom lip wobbled despite how strongly he was trying to be tough.

“He’s a liar and I was stupid for thinking that he might have changed.”

I was going to kill Jaxon.

Anger washed over me like a tidal wave. Anger for trusting him with our son and anger for being foolish enough to let him try and redeem himself for the hundredth time.

All he ever did was let Silvan down and this time, he had gone way too far.

“Look at me, Silvan. You aren’t stupid. So, please don’t ever think that. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me and if your father can’t see how truly amazing you are, then he doesn’t deserve to know you.”

As I gazed into his baby blue eyes, I tried expressing to him that I would always be here for him. That I would never let him down, and with the slight wobble of his lip, I knew he needed to hear those words.

“Why didn’t you call me? I would have come and picked you up.”

He shrugged his shoulders.

“You deserved a night to yourself and I didn’t want to take that away from you.”

Well, there goes my heart again.

Without a second thought, I yanked him toward me into another hug. “Silvan, please don’t ever think that you can’t call me. No matter what the situation is. I’d always… always rather be with you.”

He didn’t respond with words, but his arms tightened around me in acknowledgment. For a good few minutes we just held each other.

“Hey, Mom?” he asked as I snuggled my cheek into the top of his head.

“Yeah?”

“Who’s the tall cowboy that's watching us?”

My eyes popped open and I spun my head around. Sure enough, Lawson was standing at a safe enough distance with his hands shoved into his pockets, an expression across his face that I couldn’t quite decipher.

He looked unsure of himself, like he didn’t know what to do.

“Oh, right, um… that’s?—”

Taking a step toward us, he interjected.

“Lawson… name’s Lawson Boone.” He coughed nervously into his palm as he peered down at my son.

Silvan dropped his arms from around me and stood toe to toe with the man I was hesitant to have him meet.

“Boone? As in Boone’s Tree Farm?”

Lawson’s mouth curled as he flashed his eyes over at me briefly.

“Yeah, as in Boone’s Tree Farm. Sounds like you’ve been there?”

“A few times, but haven’t been there recently since Mom got us stuck in a ditch one year, and now the owner, Fred, brings us our tree.”

Rolling my eyes, I placed a palm onto his shoulder.

“Are you his son? He told me he had a son who was a cowboy.” The realization that Fred told Silvan he had a son and not me had me shooting glances at the both of them.

“Sure am, kid. And you must be Silvan? It’s nice to officially meet you.” Lawson stuck his hand out for my son, and I swear everything around us went silent.

For me, this was a pivotal moment.

One that I never knew I needed, but seeing the two of them standing near each other sent a thrill through my heart that echoed with every beat. It was as if the world faded away around us, leaving just the two of them in a bubble of connection.

“Likewise.” Silvan placed his hand into Lawson’s. “How do you know my mom?”

My eyes shot to Lawson’s as my face exploded in heat. Instantly, his stare connected with mine as he grinned playfully.

Oh hell.

“I dropped your tree off instead of my dad this year. Figured since I like your mom, I’d like you too.” He winked at me then retired his focus back to my son.

“You like my mom?” He laughed.

He actually laughed.

“You don’t think she’s bossy?”

Swatting Silvan on the shoulder, I scowled at the two men in my life who were both grinning from ear to ear.

“Oh, your mom is definitely bossy, but I can handle it.”

Heat flooded my cheeks at the shared innuendo that only Lawson and I understood.

“What the hell is going on here?” a familiar voice shouted as all three of us spun around to find an enraged Jaxon charging toward us. “Diana!”

Lawson immediately stepped in front of us, blocking Jaxon’s advance.

“You need to calm the fuck down, before you cause a scene. We found Silvan, so you’re not needed anymore.”

Jaxon peered up at Lawson like he was a crazy person. Sizing him up as if he had the strength or even competence to fight off someone like Lawson.

“Who the hell are you?” Jaxon snapped as I held on to Silvan’s hand and tugged him in closer to my side.

“I’m someone these two can count on, that’s who I am. Now if you were fuckin’ smart, you’d take this as your hint to go back home and leave them the fuck alone before you really start to piss me off.”

Lawson defending us was even sexier than watching him crumble beneath my tongue.

That was saying something.

“Diana?” Jaxon tried going around Lawson but was quickly stopped.

“Just go home, Jaxon.”

Beyond Lawson's broad back, I could make out Jaxon flailing his arms around like a madman.

“No fucking way. I want to know exactly who it is my son is going back with.”

With the temperature rising in my veins, I all but burst at the seams at the man who once ruined me, and was doing the same to Silvan.

“None of my life or Silvan’s life will ever be any of your business from here on out. If one day you decide you want to be a father, a real one, then you can call me and we can set something up. But right now, the three of us are leaving and going home.”

Clutching Silvan’s hand, then boldly taking Lawson’s, I showed Jaxon just how well-off and better we were without him in our lives. The way his eyes flared and jaw clenched at the three of us standing united, it made my heart swell pridefully.

“Go home, Dad.” Silvan's voice cut through the air, causing my hand to tighten around his. “If you really cared about me, I wouldn’t be here right now. I wouldn’t have run away.”

“Silvan—”

“Mom has always been there. From day one she’s never let me down, and that’s all you seem to do. So, go home. I officially relieve you of the burden of being my dad.”

My heart felt like it was shattering in my chest as I caught the sight of Jaxon stumbling back from the powerful weight of our son's words. A wave of emotions crashed over me, but I held it in for Silvan’s sake. I reminded myself to remain strong just as he was right now.

“I'll wait at the doors.” Silvan peered up at me before walking past his dad who looked too shocked to speak.

As soon as Silvan was out of earshot, Lawson stepped forward and jabbed a finger in his direction.

“You better get your head out of your ass and realize you fucked up the only good thing in your life. Diana will never be yours, but with your son, you still have a chance to fix it.”

Still processing Lawson's words and worried he might overstep, I steered him around Jaxon and guided him over to Silvan who was waiting for us with his stare focused on the parking lot.

“Ready to go home?” I settled a palm onto Silvan’s shoulder and squeezed it softly. “Maybe we can stop at your favorite restaurant on the way back.”

His head perked up at that.

“Will the cowboy go with us?” He peered over at Lawson with a curious gleam in his eye. One I was relieved to see.

“Drove your mom in my truck, so yeah, kid, I’ll go with you.” He grinned and tightened his hand in mine.

“Cool.”

Silvan nodded and it was then that I noticed the slight playful curve of his mouth. He was happy about that. About Lawson going with us.

His subtle smile sent warmth throughout my body, filling me with an overwhelming sense of hope for the future. For all the possibilities, and it all stemmed from a simple, drunken letter I had written to Santa asking for a cowboy.

And now that I got one, I was never letting him go.