Death and Desire (Love in Cairo #1)

Prologue

“I am the phoenix, the soul of Re, who guides the gods to the Netherworld when they go forth. The souls on earth will do what they desire,

and the soul of the deceased will go forth at his desire.”

- A spell for a heart-amulet of sehret stone from The Book of the Dead

Anubis

W hat use is a heart to the god of the dead? Since his creation, Anubis’s purpose had been to protect those who have died and lead them safely to the Netherworld, where their hearts would be weighed, their souls judged. The process was as familiar to him as breathing—even though he had no physical need to draw breath.

Humanity. Passion ruled nature. Emotion conquered rational thought. These creatures, frail in their limited lifeline but strong in spirit, never failed to surprise him.

Anubis prided himself on his unbiased assessment of the humans he ushered through the Netherworld. For every soul shepherded and every weighing ceremony observed, he uncovered a new facet of human complexity. His curiosity grew along with his protective nature, as if a thread of them somehow latched onto him and wove itself deep into his chest, pulling him into a quandary. Was there anything to life other than the inevitability of death?

It was their moments of death that left him most conflicted—the pain, grief, regret, and sorrow humans felt in their final moments. A starving mother clutching her deceased infant, knowing her time soon would come. An old man whose heart ceased beating while he carved a wooden toy for a new grandchild. Two lovers caught in a final embrace amid a shipwreck as they sank beneath the river surface. These moments ripped away the layers binding his immortal soul and clawed at his heart, eliciting sadness, demanding sympathy.

He despised the unbidden emotions that rose to the surface with little warning. He was an immortal. Son of Osiris. Protector of the dead. He had nothing but his dedication to those in his care. No sympathy. No sorrow. The curiosity he held for humanity served no purpose. The living meant nothing to him. Nothing .

Then why, with every passing soul, did he soften to those in his care? A nagging need to uncover knowledge of their world, of their lives, left him in a perpetual state of unease . It was as though something drew him to them, like a thread binding their existence to his.

And he despised it.

Anubis concerned himself only with their presence in his domain. In this place between the living and the dead, he held sway. Yet...he could not remove an unsettling tug beneath his ribs, weaving itself around his useless heart. If only he could remove it.

In a rare moment of stillness, he sought an audience with Ra.

Golden sunlight created a halo around the blue-haired god who lifted his gaze when Anubis entered an opulent garden. A ball of light lay cradled Ra’s right hand, and his all-seeing lapis-lazuli eyes narrowed as he approached. Ra closed his fist, extinguishing the orb of light.

“What brings you here, Anubis?” His lips quirked at the corners. “Have you no dead to guide and protect?”

“On the contrary, there are more than ever who require my guidance.” Anubis bowed his head. “I have come with a personal request.”

“Interesting.” Ra stepped closer, his glittering white robes flowing around his muscular thighs. “You have my attention. What request could you possibly make, my loyal guardian of the dead?”

“My heart.”

Ra inclined his head and steadily met Anubis’s gaze. “What of it?”

“It serves no purpose.”

Ra chuckled. “Is that so?”

“My purpose is to guide and protect the dead.” Anubis pressed forward confidently. “For that, I require no heart, and I wish for you to remove it.”

“Does it plague you?” Ra pressed a hand to Anubis’s chest. “This conscientious heart?”

“If I am to remain unbiased and dedicated to my purpose, it must be removed.” He exhaled sharply as Ra’s warmth soaked into his torso, heating him like the sun’s rays on his black skin.

“And what of love?” Ra asked, his eyes glinting with a divine light from within. “Without a heart, love is impossible.”

“What use have I for such emotion?” Anubis scoffed. “Love means nothing to me. I’ve seen the destruction it brings, the grief it causes.”

“True, but it also brings joy and purpose.” Ra grinned. “Pleasure.”

The tendrils around Anubis’s infernal heart tightened, tugging and twisting. He ignored the sensation and shook his head. “There is no purpose but the one bestowed upon me.”

“What would you have me do with it?” Ra waved his hand and regarded Anubis carefully, as though seeking a flaw in his assertion. “Shall I destroy it?”

The thought sent a shiver of dread through Anubis. “No. Do not destroy it.”

“Shall I hide it from prying, curious eyes?” A mischievous smile tugged at Ra’s mouth. “Hide it from even you, should you change your mind?”

“I will place a curse upon it, hide it where no one will discover it.” Anubis straightened. “But I cannot remove my heart myself. I do not possess such power.”

“Are you certain this is the path you wish to take?” Ra sobered and pressed his lips in a thin line, all traces of humor gone from his eyes. “This cannot easily be reversed.”

“I am certain.” Anubis nodded. Inside his chest, his heart fluttered a pulsing wild rhythm that shook his confidence. But only for a moment. Like lightning across dark skies, his reservations vanished as though they never existed. “It must be done.”

“Very well.”

Ra pressed his palm to Anubis’s chest, directly over his heart. Closing his eyes, he murmured under his breath, the words and meaning caught in the wind spinning and churning around them. Light blossomed beneath his hand.

Heat seared Anubis’s chest, striking like a hot iron thrust deep inside him. He grimaced against the pain of being severed with delicate precision, each cut leaving a scar. Marking him. Branding him. Changing him.

Anubis fought agonizing pain as Ra cleaved what remained of his heart from his body. As the last thread fell away, his concerns vanished. Gone was curiosity, his tether to humanity disappearing like smoke in the night sky. He blinked as the pain ebbed, leaving a dull ache where his heart had been.

Ra withdrew his hand, cradling a glowing object within it. His blue eyes blazed with power as he closed his other hand over it and nestled the object between his palms. With another muttered incantation, a flash of light burst from his clasped hands, a star fracturing in the heavens. Power rippled through the air, coursing around them both before retreating and settling into the space between them.

When Ra revealed the object in his hand, Anubis felt nothing. Not relief. Not regret. Nothing. A small smooth stone lay in Ra’s palm. Gold and red swirled together, glinting in the setting sun.

“Whatever comes, tell no one.” Ra lifted the stone, offering it to Anubis. “Protect this as you would those in your care, Anubis.”

“I will.” Anubis picked up the stone, ignoring its warmth as it pulsed in his touch, echoes of emotion radiating through him. He ignored them and closed the stone in his fist. “Thank you.”

“Remember, Anubis, within your heart resides a part of you and your immortality.” Ra crossed his arms over his broad chest. “Whoever possesses the stone can benefit from all of your gifts.”

“No one will ever possess it,” Anubis vowed.

“Have care, guardian. Such confidence will be your downfall.” Ra dismissed him with a wave of his hand before venturing into the twilight gardens.

Anubis returned to his duties, debating the best place to hide the jewel. Clad in smoke and cloaked in darkness, he rose to the surface, to the land of the living.

He stood in darkness beneath the stars, still clutching the gem in his fist.

My heart bound in stone, shall remain. Should it be disturbed from rest, my vengeance will be unleashed, a shadow upon mankind until it is returned to its rightful place.

The vow whispered through his mind and across the vastness of space. Then he began his search.

A small village lay in the distance, firelight dancing on the horizon. He crept closer until he found a small burial spot at the base of a hill. A fresh grave sat with loose dirt, another beside it filled with items the deceased wished to take to the afterlife.

Anubis closed his eyes, visualizing the life that had once been. He remembered her, remembered her journey through his lands. A simple old woman. A life lived fully. A soul judged and found in balance. He allowed himself a small smile, feeling a twinge of pride and sorrow through the stone in his palm. A faint connection lingering between himself and his heart.

“Care for it as I cared for you.” The words left his tongue without thought.

He thrust his hand into the dirt to place the stone in her withered palm. Taking care to smooth the dirt, Anubis retreated. He paused for only a moment to remember this place, to burn it into his memory and seal it closed, ensuring no one would discover the truth of what had transpired.

Without another thought, Anubis returned to the Netherworld, to his duties, and savored his new freedom.

For thousands of years, Anubis fulfilled his commitment without question, without concern. Until the day a sharp tug in his chest where his heart had been left him stunned and shaken.

After delegating his duties to those under his command, he retreated to his palace. Safely inside, he leaned against the wall, his black skin stark beside the pale stone.

Another sharp jab ripped through his chest. He clutched the spot and grimaced.

Closing his eyes, he rose to the surface, shrouding himself in animal form to avoid arousing suspicion. His human form would draw too much attention. As a dog, however, he could roam freely among the living.

The village was gone, replaced by a monument rising high in the distance. A temple erected, now crumbling in ruins.

He crept closer, keeping to brush and shadows. Even in the dark, a large animal was easy to spot.

When he reached the old woman’s grave, he found a hole surrounded by tools and wooden contraptions.

Distant shouting drew his attention.

Fury blazed within him at the sight of desecration at the hands of the men before him. They pulled bones from the dirt, shoving aside remains, pocketing anything of value.

Grave robbers . Anubis snarled.

Power coursed through him as he pounced on the nearest thief. Under the cover of darkness, he tore the men apart, ravaging each thief, leaving nothing but blood and shards of bone amid the dirt and decay.

When he searched their satchels, he found golden trinkets and baubles but no sign of his jewel. His heart.

A rush of panic rippled through him followed by the simmering heat of vengeance. Someone had stolen his heart. Where was it?

Anubis stood beneath a crescent moon and closed his eyes. The bond between him and the jewel glinted like spider silk in the darkness of his mind. He could not see where it led, but the connection remained firm. He felt the power of his heart pulse inside his mind.

A relentless hunger awakened inside him. He must find it, must recover that which was stolen. Return it to where it belonged, punish the possessor.

Slowly, he unfurled his power, allowing it to travel down the silk thread. Whoever possessed his heart would feel the wrath of the curse. He would torment them until they returned it to him. The further he ventured, the fainter the tether became.

When he reached a cold sea, he hesitated. His heart was no longer in Egypt. It was gone.

He pushed forward and shivered at a chill sweeping through him. His heart was somewhere cold. Wet. North. An ache settled deep in his chest.

He growled, shaking fog from his mind. Wherever it was, he could not follow in this physical form. There had to be a way to bring the thief back to Egypt and the Nile, to the portal separating the living from the dead.

Swearing, Anubis curled the darkness into himself. The smoke wrapped around him, pushing him back to the Netherworld, to his home. Standing on a balcony overlooking the blood-red mirrored underbelly of the Nile, he reached out again with his mind.

The agonizing search took time and energy. The person who possessed his heart was bound to him. His curse had woven a mental bond between him and whoever held the jewel. He could access their thoughts and plant his own. If they did not return to Egypt, they would go mad. Of that he was certain.

Anubis waited patiently until he located the steady beat of a heart. The soft, delicate breath of a woman. The sweet laughter of a child. A purple flower.

Violet . A woman’s voice echoed in his mind. Violet, come here. I have a gift for you.

Anubis held his breath as he watched the scene unfold in his mind’s eye. The woman held out her hand to the child, a girl of no more than ten with bright green eyes and hair the color of crimson silk. She wore a dress with lace and frills, and dirt smudged her face as she ran across the hardwood floors.

What did you bring me, Mummy? The girl blinked up at the woman, her eyes full of hope and joy.

A gift, all the way from Egypt. The woman took the girl’s hand and slid a gold bracelet around her delicate wrist, its weight heavy on her arm.

As the girl spun it, Anubis sucked in a breath.

The bond between them clicked into place. Her thoughts became his.

He walled himself off, pulling himself from her mind. The tether hung between them in the ether, a grim reminder of the truth hanging over his head like a scythe.

The jewel...and his heart...were in the hands of a child.