Deceit (Gallows Hill #1)

22. Chapter Twenty One

Chapter Twenty One

Skyla

T hankfully, we drive in silence all the way back to campus because I need space to think. I came out on this date, really, for the chance of pissing off Asher and forgetting about how much it hurt that I wasn’t the only woman Ronan was entertaining. Yet, within minutes of being with Liam I forgot about both of them. In those moments, tonight, it was just him.

Yes, he’s the silly, showboating, cocky man that he shows himself to be around campus, but there is another side of him. A more caring side. One that opens and closes my doors, rests his hand on my knee when we’re driving as if he just wants to touch me– nothing more, nothing less. I don’t know if tonight was just an act, put on by Liam, but I can’t deny I found myself smiling and laughing more than I have in, I don’t know how long. He’s like sunshine, warm and constant, being near him is like sunbathing on a perfect day.

When we get to campus, he pulls into the parking lot right outside of my dorm before turning the car off. Spinning in his seat, he faces me, resting his head against the headrest as he smiles at me.

“I know you didn’t say yes to me tonight because you really wanted to, but whatever made you say yes, I’m fucking glad you did.”

A flutter hits my chest, and I can practically feel the blush take over my cheeks as I nod.

“Me too. I wasn’t expecting to have such a good time, if I’m being honest.”

“I’m not so bad, huh?” he teases, with a wink that has me chuckling.

“Not at all. You’re actually a pretty great guy.”

His teasing smile falters for a moment, a look of earnest appreciation taking over his face before he swallows roughly, as if he was trying to push whatever emotions he’s feeling away. Liam’s eyes are bouncing between my own before he undoes his seatbelt, reaches his hand behind my head, and pulls me in for a kiss. Just like when he kissed me before, it’s like fireworks going off through my body. A euphoric rush comes just from this man’s lips being on mine.

I lean farther into him, desperate to bask in this feeling for as long as I’m allowed to as his tongue slips inside my mouth. I tangle my own with his and his hands begin running down my body. Just as fast as we started though, it’s over. Liam is tearing himself away from me and forcing himself back into his seat. His breathing is labored with his fists clenched as he stares out the front windshield.

Frowning at him, I speak.

“Are you okay?”

He nods roughly before blowing out a ragged breath.

“I can’t help but get a little carried away with you, and I can’t afford to do that. We can't afford to do that.”

Disappointment sinks into me, but I do my best not to let it show.

“Because I’m engaged to Asher?”

Liam scoffs. “Fuck Asher, because you deserve better. You deserve a man who is going to take his time with you, always, savor you.”

His words take me by surprise as I look at him .

“Are you going to be that man?”

Now he is the one who looks surprised, though he recovers well.

“I’d love to be. Does this mean I can take you out again soon?”

I pause as if I’m weighing my options, though I already know my answer.

“Sure, I’d like that. What are we going to do next time? Go to an underground gambling ring? Fight club?”

Liam lets out a boisterous laugh, as he smiles at me and shakes his head.

“I’ll start working on the plan now.”

I smile and nod, feeling bold for a moment as I lean across the console and press my lips to his. He only moves his lips a little, as he lets me do the work. I appreciate the control it allows me, the power, and the smile that I can’t seem to drop.

Reaching for my door, I grab the handle and push it open as I slip out of the car. When I shut it, the window rolls down and Liam is leaning over so he can look at me through it.

“I’ll see you soon, babygirl.”

I give him a small smile, as he gives me a wink that sends my stomach flipping. The car fires up and he takes off in the next minute, drifting out of the parking lot like the show-off he is. I can’t help but chuckle to myself as I walk towards my dorm.

A figure catches my attention to my right. It’s so dark out and the lighting isn’t great, so it takes me a minute to figure out who is watching me. The dark sulking person is easily identifiable, though.

Vincent stares at me as if I were an insect under a microscope. The only part of him that moves are his eyes as they track me steadily. From where he is standing, it’s obvious that he was watching me and Liam. I’m not sure if he was passing by, saw us and decided to people-watch for a bit, or if he’s out here for more sinister reasons. Either way, I want nothing to do with the grumpy creep.

Turning away from him like there is nothing to see, I continue towards the front door, banking around the corner and thankfully, disappearing from Vincent’s watchful eye. I slip inside quickly, before the elevator opens for me.

I’m already replaying tonight over and over again in my head. The adrenaline rush I got from Liam racing, the excitement, the fun. It was something so completely out of my comfort zone, yet so amazing. Though, I’m not sure if that was from the activity or the company.

God. Do I like Liam? The flirtatious womanizer, who is best friends with Satan himself?

Yes.

The answer comes immediately because, with me at least, he’s not just those things. He’s so much more complex than anyone gives him credit for. More complex than he gives himself credit for.

When I get to my room, I wave the keycard over the pad allowing the door to whir open. When I do, I’m only inside for a moment before I freeze. The door shuts behind me, but I’m trapped in place. There in front of me, Ronan is sitting on the edge of my bed, head hanging between his shoulders, fingers dug into the back of his hair. As soon as he hears me though, his head shoots up.

Deep dark circles encase his normally bright blue eyes, which now appear more dull and lifeless than I’ve ever seen. His gaze flicks over me, from head to toe, before he shoots to his feet and crosses the distance between us. I stumble back a foot or two and he doesn’t miss the attempt to keep space between us. He winces, like me doing that physically hurts him, before he stops moving and speaks.

“Baby, I was so worried. It’s so late. I didn’t know where you were or who you were with. Are you okay?”

“What are you doing here?” I ask stiffly, he of all people does not get to barge in here and demand answers.

His frown increases as he takes half a step towards me again.

“I need you to hear me out. I need to explain and when I’m done, if you never want to speak to me again I’ll leave you alone. I promise. I just want to explain, baby.”

“Skyla,” I correct coldly.

He swallows and nods. “Please, Skyla. Five minutes.”

Despite how weak it sounds, I want to hear him out. I want to hear his excuses, no matter how inconsequential they will be. For closure’s sake, I think I need this.

I nod my head once, not saying a word as I gesture for him to get on with it.

“What you saw the other day, I swear to god it wasn’t what it looked like. Her name is Annie Williams. Her father is…close friends with my brother,” he explains, faltering for only a moment as he continues. “They are close family friends of ours and my brother has been trying to set me up with Annie for a while. I’m not interested in her—”

“But she is in you,” I finish for him, because no woman sits on a man’s desk with a skirt that high up or looks up at him like he hung the moon as they walk through the courtyard if she isn’t interested.”

He doesn’t immediately agree but, when I raise an eyebrow challenging him to lie to me, he concedes. Nodding his head as he continues.

“She showed up to my office that day unexpectedly. When there was a knock at the door I thought it was you. I tried to get her to leave, I didn’t want you to walk in and get the wrong idea. That blew up in my face,” he laughs bitterly.

“What about the other day? You guys looked pretty chummy walking through campus, practically hand in hand,” I bite out. I can’t even mask my tone for anything less than anger.

He frowns for a moment before realization hits him. Clearly he didn’t see me, but I saw him.

“She dropped by again. Wanted to go to lunch. I told her no.”

“Convenient,” I mutter.

Ronan runs a hand through his hair before dropping it at his side.

“I don’t know how to explain this, Skyla. Annie is being pushed towards me like you are being pushed towards Asher. That doesn’t mean I want her, the opposite. I can’t stand her. There is only one woman I want, and currently, she’s effectively evaded me at every attempt to explain.”

“So naturally, you use your power of authority over her and break into her room while she’s gone.”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment, before he blows out a breath.

“I’m sorry, I should have given you space. It was fucking killing me knowing that you’ve assumed the worst from all of this. That you thought I didn’t care about you, that I would cheat on you. That I—”

“You can’t cheat on me if we aren’t in a relationship, Ronan. We never were,” I cut off.

His eyes fly up to mine, and what looks like hurt flashes across his face.

“Bullshit. We were together. Just because we didn’t put a label on it doesn’t mean you weren’t mine and I wasn’t yours.”

He pauses for a moment, as if he is trying to find the right words.

“I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I allowed myself to be in a compromising position that made you question my loyalty to you. All I see is you, Skyla. No one else matters.”

I want to believe him, so badly. That’s stupid though, right? This is what any man would say if he was caught with another woman, wouldn’t he? Yet, some part of me, however ignorant it may be, believes him.

“So, what do you want?” I ask, doing my best to regain control of the conversation.

“What do you mean?” Ronan asks.

“I mean, what do you want? You explained yourself, I heard you out. Five minutes is up. What do you want?”

He doesn’t speak for a while, instead he just stares at me. His breathing is ragged, and the tension is so thick between us even a knife wouldn’t do.

Slowly, he begins making his way towards me, closing the remaining distance between us before my back is plastered against my door and his arms are braced above me.

“You. I want you, Skyla. I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll beg and plead, I’ll lay at your feet and kneel before you every day. Whatever you need, whatever you want, it’s yours. I would stop the earth on its axis for you.”

“Why?” I ask softly, doing my best to battle the butterflies desperate to emerge at his declaration.

He shakes his head softly, lifting his hand to cup my cheek as he does.

“Because you’re worth it.”

Despite my best efforts, my heart swells and my stomach flips. I want to be impervious to this man, so badly. He’s too old for me, he’s my fiancé’s uncle, and he’s involved in this fucked up society that my father is wrapped up in. Nothing about him or our situation is a good idea. Yet, the feeling of his skin on mine sends all rationale out the window leaving only my fuzzy, confused, head over heels emotions.

“Do you still want me, Skyla? Do we still have a chance?”

“You hurt me,” I say softly.

His face crumples as he shakes his head.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I would never betray you, ever. You have to know that. Know that right here,” he says, taking one of my hands and resting it against his heart. “This belongs to you, only you. I need you more than I need air in my lungs, or the feeling of water around me on a hard day. If you don’t want me though, I’ll understand and I’ll let you go.”

Even though I think he believes his words, I don’t. They seem to physically hurt him just by uttering them. He may let me go physically, but I’m not sure he would emotionally. Why do I like that? How toxic am I? Are we? That the idea of him not being able to move on from me fills me with relief, instead of panic or fear like it should?

“I want you,” I say softly.

He doesn’t speak like I expected. Instead, he drops my hand and cups my face with both of his hands, holding me like I’m his most prized possession as he crushes his lips to mine. It’s been days since we’ve kissed, but it feels like years. Ronan’s lips move against me seamlessly, perfectly. It’s as easy as breathing, and it equally hurts and heals something inside me. God, I missed him.

His hands slide beneath my legs, lifting me into the air. I wrap my thighs around him as he carries us deeper into my room, laying me down onto the bed without breaking our kiss. His kisses pepper against my skin, across my cheek and down my neck as his hands work on the button of my jeans quickly. When he opens them, he slips a hand inside, pausing almost instantly.

“Where are your panties, baby?”

I freeze at that, guilt instantly consuming me. Do I have anything to feel guilty about? Absolutely not. Do I still feel it, because I’ve kissed two men within twenty minutes of each other? Most definitely.

When I don’t answer, he frowns. “Where were you tonight?”

I wet my lips, doing my best to keep the guilt out of my tone. I didn’t do anything wrong, though the look on Ronan’s face is singing an entirely different tune.

“With Liam.”

His frown morphs into an entire scowl.

“You were out with him, until one in the morning? And you came home with no panties?” he scoffs, like he can’t believe what he’s hearing.

“You don’t get to speak to me this way,” I snap. “For all I knew, you were sunk inside Anika Wilson every day since I’d seen you two. We weren’t together. Don’t try to shame me for trying to move on, when you practically broke my heart.”

The anger in his eyes is still there, but he takes several deep breaths before speaking.

“You let him touch you?”

“Yes,” I answer.

“Did he fuck you?”

“No.”

He nods, breaking eye contact for a moment as he asks his next question.

“Did you enjoy it?”

I hesitate, only briefly, before being completely honest.

“Yes.”

His eyes close at that, something like resignation passing across his features, as he nods his head. He leans forward, pressing a kiss against my forehead that lasts for several seconds before he speaks against my skin.

“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to get upset with you. We’re together now, that’s what matters.”

I go to respond when he stands up. My brows furrow together as I watch him move towards the door.

“Where are you going?”

He turns to look at me, a soft, not convincing at all smile on his face.

“It’s late, you need to get some rest. I’ll come get you for breakfast in the morning, okay?”

It takes me a second to respond as I slowly nod.

“Okay.”

A tight lipped smile is what I receive in return before he opens the door.

“Sweet dreams, baby.”

With that, he’s gone, and I’m left feeling worse than before. Maybe I should have lied and told him I didn’t enjoy it. That doesn’t make me feel good either, though. I had a good time with Liam, a great one honestly, and I shouldn’t have to apologize for that. Whatever, I’m sure Ronan just needs to go home and chill out. Things will be fine.