Deceit (Gallows Hill #1)

49. Chapter Forty Eight

Chapter Forty Eight

Skyla

I ’m quiet as Asher drives. My mind is racing, and it’s taking everything within me not to have another full blown panic attack. Forget the stalker, this, in front of me, happening tomorrow…it feels like a lead ball has been dropped into my stomach.

I don’t care that Ronan kept it to himself in order to not let me worry over it for weeks. That wasn’t his decision to make. I had a right to know what has been decided for me, what will be…done to me.

My eyes flick over to Asher, watching him out of the corner of my eye. From the beginning, it’s basically been heavily implied that Asher would have to be the one to take my virginity. At first I couldn’t imagine anything more awful, then I sort of started to come around to the idea. I mean, it could be worse. He could be much worse.

But like that? On display, like some kind of disgusting song and dance…my stomach threatens to empty its contents at the mere thought of it.

I do take a small amount of comfort that Asher was in the dark just as much as I was. I’m not just taking his word for it either. The look of shock on his face when Ronan began said it all. He was blindsided and didn’t know what to do or think.

Before I know it, we’re pulling up to a large pair of wrought iron gates. Asher enters in a code, and the heavy gates swing open revealing a long winding driveway with a perfectly manicured lawn on either side. Huge bushy trees adorning the sides, every fifty feet, in perfect line with the driveway.

When we pull up to the house, I’m pleasantly surprised. It’s not nearly as grand as Asher’s dads or as ostentatious as my father’s. Sure, it’s still a mansion but it’s clean from the outside, simple and it has a porch swing on the front. I don’t know why, but I’ve always found them to be so charming. I always told myself one day I would have a house with one.

I suppose the manifesting really paid off.

Asher parks the car, glancing over to me.

“What do you think? From the outside?”

I nod, as my eyes continue to roam the grounds.

“It’s beautiful. I love the land and that swing,” I say with a small smile.

Asher grins and nods.

“That’s why I picked this house out of all of the others. I could have put one on any of the houses, but this one just felt…right, you know?”

I nod my agreement as he opens his door, coming around to get mine as well. I smile in thanks as he slips his hand behind my back, ushering me up the front steps.

“I’m sorry you weren’t a part of the selection process. Whatever you want changed, consider it done. Money or time is no object,” he says in a way that drips sincerity.

Smiling again, I nod as Asher pulls out his key, unlocking the front door before stepping inside, quickly disarming the alarm and turning to face me. I take a small step inside, my shoes echoing against the hardwood floors. He wasn’t kidding when he said the place isn’t decorated. There isn’t a single picture, rug or piece of furniture in sight. The place is basically a blank canvas, but something in me kind of likes that.

The foyer is huge, unnecessarily so. There is so much empty space it almost feels awkward.

“What if we got a round table to go right here,” I say, as I gesture to the center of the room. “We could put a vase of flowers on it or something. I don’t know, it would eat up the space while still making it feel aesthetically clean.”

Asher nods, pulling out his phone, his fingers flying across the keyboard.

“What else?”

I frown. “What? Just like that?”

“Just like that, Princess,” he nods. “What else?”

My eyes skim around the house, landing on an empty space that I assume is intended as a formal living room. There is a large bay window in the corner that has a smile touching my lips as I imagine it.

“Can we have a piano? Right over there,” I say, as I point to the right of the window.

“Do you play?” Asher asks in surprise.

I nod. I haven’t, obviously, since I left London. Honestly, even before that. I was pretty good in school, though.

“What, didn’t you read that in your file about me?” I tease lightly.

He shakes his head, typing out his notes.

“That file didn’t tell me shit when it came to you. Not the things that matter, at least.”

“I’m an open book,” I shrug, as we step into the formal living room.

“Are you?” he asks dubiously.

“Not particularly, but I’d be willing to answer some questions if you have any.”

He thinks on it for a second before he shakes his head. “Can I save them for another time?”

“Sure,” I laugh, as we step into the dining room. It is about the size of the one at my father’s, and it’s even painted the same soft cream. My nose wrinkles at the color, an action that isn’t lost on Asher.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I shake my head quickly.

“C’mon, Princess. Out with it.”

I shrug as I move through the space.

“I just don’t love the color.”

Asher nods. “What color would you want?”

“Maybe a nice soft grey? Still neutral but a little …different, I guess.”

He doesn’t ask different from what, nor does he try to argue. Instead, he continues furiously taking notes before giving me a smile and a nod. We continue this through the kitchen, living room, and bathrooms until we are upstairs in the bedrooms.

Asher pauses outside a set of double doors.

“This could be your room, if you want. Obviously you’ll need the larger room, what with your…company,” he says, his pace slowing on the word company.

“Are we going to have separate rooms?” I ask as I step inside, impressed by the sheer size of the room. The en suite attached looks just as massive, and I see two walk in closets. It’s a master bedroom dream.

“Well, I assumed. Not sure how much they’d love the idea of us sharing a bed every night,” Asher laughs sarcastically.

“You’d be surprised, they seem to not mind sharing. In fact Liam downright loves it,” I tease with a wink.

Instead of laughter, I’m met with silence. My gaze comes up to see Asher’s eyes have darkened, quite literally smoldering straight through me as my words hang in the air between us. Clearing my throat, I step out of the bedroom, finding another one and another and another.

“Oh my gosh, how many bedrooms does this place have?”

“Seven bedrooms, five and a half baths,” he says, as he follows close behind.

“Wow, seven? What are we going to do with all of them.”

“My father’s hope is that we’d fill them with children,” he chuckles, but when I turn to him with alarmed eyes he puts his hands up placatingly.

“I’m kidding. I mean, I’m not, but I didn’t mean we were going to start having kids right now or anything. I just meant down the road, maybe, if things go okay…I’ll need an heir eventually and—”

“Asher, it’s fine. I get what you mean. Calm down.”

He huffs out a breath as he nods. I peek into the bedroom beside the master and smile as I envision it before me.

“The crib could go over there, and the dresser there. What do you think about one of those really soft fluffy rugs in the middle of the room?” I ask as I point to the carpeted floor.

“Yeah,” he says slowly. “That would be nice.”

I continue smiling as I envision it. I’m only nineteen. The idea of children should terrify me, and it does to an extent, absolutely, but one day, maybe.

We finish with all the rooms inside of the house before making our way out back. It already has an inground pool, with a really cool waterfall built around it and a hot tub, so I couldn’t be happier.

Asher says that he’d like to get some type of a gazebo back here and I nod my agreement. Eventually, we find our way back to the front of the house where we take a seat on the porch swing. We’re slowly swaying on it, when I turn to face him.

“We’re going to have a happy life, right?”

He falters for a moment, like that was the last thing he expected me to ask before he reaches out, covering my hand with his as he squeezes.

“As happy as we’re allowed.”

I can feel my mouth tip down at that, it wasn’t really the words I was looking for, but it’s honest. Can’t fault him for that. Us getting married isn’t going to magically pull any of us out from under anyone’s thumb. We’re as trapped today, as we were yesterday, and the day before that. Right now, we aren’t trying to progress, we are trying to survive.

“I’m scared,” I admit, on a soft whisper while staring out at the porch.

I feel Asher’s eyes on me, and I turn, giving him a watery smile.

“About tomorrow,” I explain. “I’ve had the experience built up in my head for a while, and this wasn’t how I pictured it going.”

He nods as he scoots a little closer to me, our thighs touching one another and our clasped hands now in his lap.

“I know. It wasn’t what I had planned for us either.”

“You had something planned?” I ask, my mouth lifting slightly.

Asher runs a hand through his deep brown hair, forcing it out of his face as he does.

“I mean, not set in stone or anything, but I’d thought about it. Thought about how it would go.”

“How did it look?” I ask softly, my eyes locking onto his, my face closer than I intended. I don’t pull away, though, and neither does he.

“You, me, this house. I pictured bringing you home after the wedding, and getting you out of that white dress that will no doubt drive me fucking wild all night. I would have kissed you, before making sure my lips touched every single inch of your skin. I’d have given you a minimum of two orgasms before I even tried to fuck you, intent on easing you into it.”

“And then?” I practically beg.

His hand reaches out to me cupping my jaw as he brings us so close together, our lips brush against one another as he speaks.

“And then I would have made love to you for hours. Over and over again, knowing that I could never have my fill of you but trying nonetheless.”

I feel a shiver run up my spine at the way his deep voice rumbles each word.

“Tomorrow will easily be one of the hardest things we will both ever face, I won’t lie,” he admits as he continues. “But today…right now, I want to take something, just for us. No one interfering, no one demanding. Something they will never be able to take away,” he says, his lower lip brushing against my own every other word. I’m practically shaking with need, the tension, the desperation so overwhelming I fear I’m ready to combust.

“Give me something that’s just for us, Asher. Please.”

The whimper in my please seems to snap any resistance he had. His lips close the distance, pressing fully against my own. A tingling rush starts at where our mouths meet and runs all the way to my toes. A light feeling overtaking me, as I melt into his touch.

He’s surprisingly a gentle kisser. I expected him to be harsh and demanding like Vincent, and maybe he is occasionally but right now, with me, he’s just…perfect.

Never thought I’d think that about Asher Putnam.

I feel his fingers weave through my hair, curling around my strands against my scalp and pulling slightly. The sensation forces a moan out of me, and that gives him the perfect access to slip his tongue in before tangling with my own. I don’t even try to battle him for dominance. Instead, I sit here pliant, willing and ready to take anything and everything he’s willing to give me.

He pulls away roughly, a ragged breath escaping him like it was a difficult thing to do. Like he could have gotten lost in me for hours, the way I want to get lost in him. His eyes are bouncing across my face, over and over again before settling on my eyes.

A slow smile lifts his face as he shakes his head.

“Of course you’re an amazing kisser, is there anything about you that isn’t goddamn perfect?”

“According to you? Absolutely,” I laugh.

He lets out a humorless laugh as he looks up at the sky, before coming back down to me.

“Princess, I’ve been full of shit this entire time. I wanted you from the very moment I saw your pictures in that file.”

That surprises me. I tilt my head to the side, leaning into the hold he still has on me.

“Then why did you treat me like shit?”

I watch as his tongue darts out, wetting his lower lip before he shakes his head again.

“Because I’m a fucking idiot,” he says as he drops his head back down, pressing his lips to mine once more.

We stay on that porch swing for hours, wasting time like we have all of it in the world. Eventually, when the sun starts to set, we decide to head back to campus for the night. We’re currently pulling into the parking lot, Asher’s hand intertwined with my own since he fired the car up. I even tried to free my hand a few times to grab something out of my purse, but he wasn’t having it. I suppose I can’t complain all that much.

He shuts off the car and unbuckles his seat belt. I look at him with a confused look and smile.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“Walking you to your room?” he asks, as if he doesn’t understand why I would ask.

I let out a short laugh. “Since when?”

“Since I realized how goddamn precious those lips were. They need to be protected at all costs,” he smirks as he leans across the center console.

Smiling to myself, I only lean forward a few inches letting him do most of the work, which he seems to have no problem doing. His hand cups my jaw, holding me close to him as he deepens the kiss when a sharp knock catches our attention.

We both jolt apart, turning to see Liam at my window with a goofy smile. Asher makes an irritated noise in the back of his throat before he grumbles.

“One of your guard dogs is here.”

“Didn’t you just say that you’re basically one of them?” I scoff with a smirk.

His eyes search mine, his words hesitant.

“I don’t know…am I?”

The air is so thick, it’s suddenly hard to breathe. We both know what he’s really asking, and I don’t really know if I have an answer for him. Thankfully, the comedic relief is here, so I don’t have to give him a response right this second.

My door swings open and Liam leans in, planting a slobbery kiss on my cheek before he looks at both of us smiling.

“Soooo, when did this happen?” he asks with a waggle of his eyebrows.

“None of your fucking business,” Asher grouches as he leans his head back against his seat, a smile playing at his lips as he squeezes my hand tighter, like he can’t find it in him to be mad right now.

Liam’s mouth drops open.

“Is that a smile? Did you just smile?! For a girl? Oh my god! And you’re holding hands? Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?”

His excited eyes flick to me as he shakes his head.

“Babygirl, you have magic love powers or something. All you have to do is look at a man and he’s head over heels for you.”

“Speak for yourself,” Asher scoffs.

“Oh no, lover boy. No going back now. I know what I saw. You’re into my girlfriend. It’s a good thing I love to share,” Liam smirks.

Asher rolls his head to Liam, a dubious look on his face.

“Or are you dating my soon to be wife?”

Liam frowns at that before shaking his head.

“I don’t like the sound of that. I had her first. Dibs.”

I can’t help but let out a laugh.

“You’re ridiculous,” I say as I push Liam out of the way. He quickly steps back, and I turn to Asher.

“I need my hand back if I’m gonna go inside.”

He looks down at it, as if he were contemplating how he could hold onto it for the night without chopping it off. Lifting our joined hands to his lips, he presses a featherlight kiss against the back of my hand.

I smile at the tender gesture.

“You don’t want to come in, do you? Stay for a while?”

His eyes darken, and I honestly think he’s about to say yes when his phone begins buzzing in the center console. I watch as his eyes shutter closed and when they open again, all desire seems to be drained right out of them.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I nod, trying and failing to hide my disappointment when he frees my hand and picks up his phone. I slide out of the car without another word, giving him a half a wave that he returns before I close the door and he answers.

“C’mon, I can’t wait to see the look on Vincent’s face when he finds out he has to share you with Asher too!” Liam practically giggles.

“You’re such a little pot stirrer,” I laugh with a shake of my head.

“Oh absolutely.”