Deck the Fire Halls

Chapter Six

CHAPTER SIX

SOREN

I was already running late. I’d finished work later than expected and needed to shower to get rid of the smoke and sap, and I was just getting out of the shower when I heard a knock at my front door.

I wasn’t expecting anyone and was in a hurry, so I just wrapped the towel around my waist. “Ah, coming!” I yelled out as I rushed to the door. “One sec, I’m not really decent.” I peeked through the peephole to see Rob at my front door.

“Oh. Sorry,” he said, a startled expression on his face. “I can... wait. Or come back. I shouldn’t have just?—”

I pulled the door open and grinned when he saw me, his gaze taking in my chest, the towel—lingering at the towel—before he even looked at my face.

He closed his eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

I laughed, pleased at his reaction, and grabbed his arm and pulled him inside. “You’re letting all the warm air out.”

“My boots?— ”

“Your boots are fine.” I shut the door behind him, liking how we were standing a little closer than was probably necessary.

“I should have called first,” he whispered. Then he cleared his throat. “Or texted.”

“It’s fine,” I said, not moving back an inch. “I just finished work and I stank of burned pine and had sap stuck all over me.”

He had great self-control to not avert his gaze from my eyes. Not even when I ran a hand over my chest, wiping away some beads of water. “You should probably get dressed,” he murmured.

It was an effort not to grin at his reaction. “Probably.”

He let out a slow breath and his eyes went to the wall behind me, to the ceiling. His self-control really was good, but now I was being cruel. I took a few steps backward, making sure to clutch my towel, right below my navel. Not to ensure it didn’t fall, but to draw his eye downward.

It worked.

“I’ll just be a second,” I said, disappearing into my room. “So, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?” I called out while I pulled on some underwear and jeans.

“Oh. Uh, dinner,” he replied. “At the diner. Gunter asked me to join them and he said you were invited. I was going to walk down and saw your light on. I thought I’d see if you’d left already. Your motorcycle wasn’t at the side of your house, but I hadn’t heard it the last day or so and I wondered?—”

He stopped talking when I walked back into the living room wearing my jeans and pulling a T-shirt on, giving him another chance to see my torso before the fabric stole his view.

“She’s in the shed,” I replied.

He was still standing at the door. “She?”

“My bike.”

“It’s female?”

“She is.”

“Does she have a name?”

“Harley.”

“Imaginative.”

“I thought so.” I went to the sofa and began pulling on my socks. “And anyway, I haven’t ridden her to work these last few days because she wakes up my neighbor. And although the prospect of him coming back out to yell at me in his flamingo pajamas is enticing?—”

“Oh god.”

“I don’t want to get on his bad side.”

“You’re not on my bad side, though those flamingo pajamas are going in the trash. I’ll have you know. If I had an open fire, I’d burn them, ceremonially.”

I put my hand to my heart, wounded. “No, no burning. As a firefighter, that’s a smoke hazard. And as a gay man, it’s a crying shame should you bring harm to my most favorite pride pajamas in the world.”

He looked a mix of embarrassed, amused, and a little mad. It was cute. He ignored all mention of the pride pajamas. “And I don’t want you to walk to work on my behalf. That’s unfair to you and inconsiderate of me. Plus, I’m awake at that time, so it’s not a bother.”

I finished pulling my socks on, then plucked my sweater off the back of the couch. “I don’t walk to work.”

“Oh.”

“I jog.”

He rolled his eyes. “Is that somehow better? Because I think it’s actually worse.”

I pulled the sweater on, giving my abs a pat before the sweater covered them too. “I need to keep fit. You’re doing me a favor.”

He blinked at my now sweater-covered midsection, then as if he’d lost his train of thought, his eyes met mine and he sighed. “I’m so sorry. Please feel free to ride to work. I don’t want Harley to blame me...” He winced, presumably at himself. “You know what? I totally should have called instead of coming over. Your body is lovel—house. Your house is lovely. Oh my god.” He put his hand on the door handle. “You know, on second thought, I don’t think dinner is a good idea?—”

I stalked over, pressing my hand on the door, caging him against it. He spun around and we were so, so close. “I think dinner’s a great idea,” I murmured. “And thank you for the compliment. On my house and my body. I like to take care of both. I feel a burning need to take care of everything I consider mine.”

Was that ridiculously cheesy and laden with sexual innuendo? Hell yes. Did I care? No. Because it totally worked.

He sucked back a breath, his cheeks a wonderful pink. “Soren, I...”

That was beginning to sound a lot like a knock-back, so I smiled at him and gave him some space. “Hold on one sec,” I said as I pulled my boots on, then took my coat off the hook by the door. I met his gaze, still smiling brightly, and acted as if he weren’t just about to tell me this was a bad idea. “Are you ready? I’m starving and we’re already a bit late.”

He blinked a few times and swallowed hard. “Uh, sure.” This time when he opened the door, I held it for him and pulled it closed behind us.

Now, if he genuinely didn’t want to start anything with me, then I’d take his no for what it was. But I got the feeling that was just a knee-jerk reaction, a measure to guard his heart. From the way he looked at me, from how he blushed and kept looking at my lips, I was more than certain he did want something with me.

He just needed some time. Time to get settled, time to see that I was genuine. So I could give him that.

We fell into step beside each other down the sidewalk toward Main Street. The night was dark, cold, and crisp. Our breaths were steam, our boots crunching in the snow.

“You’re already used to walking in the snow,” I said, remembering how he’d slipped and slid a little the other night.

Then, right on cue, he slid a little and I was quick to grab his arm.

“Whoa,” he said. “You jinxed me.”

I laughed, reluctantly letting him go. “Sorry.” I was really only sorry he hadn’t fallen closer into me, brushed up against me, perhaps. “You okay?”

He nodded and we began walking again. “So you were out at a job today?” he asked. “You mentioned sap.”

“Yeah. A barn fire out on Cottonwood Road.”

His eyes met mine, alarmed. “Oh goodness. ”

“Nothing too serious, thankfully. Welding sparks and dust and hay are never a good combination. He wasn’t hurt, didn’t lose any animals or equipment. Gonna need some new walls though.”

“Is that the kind of thing you have to deal with a lot?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Was it like that at your last job?”

“In Missoula? Not really. More house fires, warehouses, cars, abandoned houses, that kind of thing.”

He made a face. “More of a human element.”

“Yep. Not all bad though. Got to save a few people. Made it all worth it.”

He smiled at me then and went for another slide on the sidewalk. He slid back, away from me this time, and I had to grab him with both hands. I pulled him close, purely so he didn’t hit the ground, of course.

“You’re okay,” I murmured, still holding onto him. It wasn’t a question, more of a reassurance.

He nodded anyway, our faces kinda close. He tried to straighten up, his hands were on my arms, and I moved one hand to his waist and lower back to make sure he was stable. “Thanks,” he said. “I promise my motor skills are fine. I can actually walk.”

I chuckled. “But we’re gonna need to get you some proper footwear.”

He looked down at his super trendy, expensive shoes. “I like these.”

“Well fine, but I can’t go everywhere you go to catch you. And then you’re either going to break a wrist,” I said, “or your cock-ix. ”

He rolled his eyes. “Coccyx. It’s pronounced cossicks, not cock-icks.”

I grinned at him. “I know. I just wanted to hear you say it.”

He sighed and looked up the street. “I should have driven.”

I laughed and took his arm, crossing the street. “Then we wouldn’t get to talk, and I wouldn’t get to stop you from falling, and I wouldn’t be able to link arms like this, and where’s the fun in that?”

He grumbled under his breath, but he was smiling, so it was hard to take his sulking seriously.

As we got to Main Street, it was also hard not to appreciate just how scenic it was. All the Christmas trees, the decorations on the lampposts and awnings, the way the snow on the ground illuminated in the moonlight.

“You were right about that,” Rob said. “About how pretty this town could be.”

“It’s something, isn’t it?”

“I thought you were joking when you said the whole town goes into holiday-mode with the decorations.”

“We take it very seriously.”

“Oh yes, the threat of Mariah Carey on endless loop. I remember.” He chuckled. “I actually like Mariah Carey, so...”

That made me laugh. “We’d need to find your weakness. Something torturous.”

“Elvis’s Christmas album.”

I gasped. “Nooo. Not the king.”

“There is only one Christmas king, and that’s Bing Crosby. ”

I snorted. “Fair call. But I’ll make a note about Elvis being your preferred method of torture. You know, should you not be forthcoming with the Christmas decorations.”

“I bought some today,” he said. “And I spoke to Gunter about ordering a Christmas tree from Clay.”

That made me stupidly happy to hear. “Good. But you’ve made no effort to put any of them up yet.”

“Well, no. I was hoping I could find someone with a ladder to perhaps help me.” He gave me a side-eye. “If you... by chance know of anyone.”

I couldn’t stop my grin, even if I’d wanted to. “I do, by chance, know of someone.”

“Is he free anytime soon?” he asked, trying not to smile. “You know, before the pitchfork-wielding townsfolk come for me.”

“This weekend.” Then, because I couldn’t help myself, I added, “I’ll check with Chuck. Pretty sure he’s free this weekend.”

Rob’s eyes went wide with surprise and confusion. “Oh. Uh, sure...”

I laughed. “Just kidding. I’m free. And I have a ladder.”

He gave me a playful nudge with his elbow but he didn’t move his hand from my arm. And as we were getting closer to the diner, I didn’t want to let him go, even though I didn’t really have an excuse any longer to touch him. I held the door open for him instead. “After you.”

He nodded, and if his cheeks were pink from the cold or if it was from blushing, I wasn’t sure. I was indebted to the lights of the diner for showing me, nonetheless. “Thank you.”

“Oh, here they are,” Braithe said. The whole group was there, evidently. They had three tables pulled together and everyone sat around them.

“We thought you two might have decided to stay in,” Hamish said, wiggling his eyebrows with zero shame.

Ren gave him a nudge, and Jayden stood up, pulling out the two empty chairs. “Take a seat, guys.” He then locked the door, turned the sign to closed , and pulled the blinds.

“We walked,” Rob said as he sat down, pulling his toque off. I still wasn’t sure if the pinks of his ears and cheeks was from the cold, but it didn’t matter. It was cute as hell.

“And I was a bit late,” I admitted.

“I told them you might be,” Colson said. Yeah, of course the sheriff’s office knew about the fire. “Everything okay out there?”

“Yeah. He’ll have a bit of a clean-up job tomorrow, but he was grateful.”

When I’d been invited for a get-together Christmas dinner at the diner, I hadn’t exactly been aware that Jayden was closing the diner an hour early. He said it was a quiet night and Carl said it was fine.

It was an awesome way to spend the night though. We each threw in twenty bucks and demolished all the leftovers between us while we sank a few brews and sodas. I got chatting with Clay and Colson mostly, talking shit and nonsense, every so often looking over at Rob who was laughing with Ren, Cass, and Gunter. Jayden, Hamish and Braith were arguing and laughing about something, and this, this right here, was what I wanted for Rob.

This group of people. A great bunch of guys, living decidedly normal lives with their partners in this little town tucked away in the mountains.

Away from the rat race he struggled with. Away from the soul sucking job that almost broke him. I wanted him to see that he could be happy here.

“So,” Colson said quietly. “I dunno if you’re trying to keep things on the downlow but you keep looking at him, and if it’s supposed to be a secret, then I have to tell ya... You’re really bad at secrets.”

I chuckled. “It’s not on the downlow. Well, not really. I haven’t told him yet. In so many words.”

“That you have it bad for him?”

“I don’t have it bad,” I lied. Apparently I was bad at lying too because Colson’s eyebrow shot up. “It’s just that I don’t think he’s ready or up for anything like that.” I took a swig of my beer. “And you know what? Even if he’s not, which is fine by the way, he still needs this.” I gestured to the group. “This right here. So that’s okay with me too.”

Colson nodded slowly. “You looked kinda cozy when you walked in. I thought maybe something mighta happened.”

“Something mighta almost happened,” I mumbled behind my beer bottle.

His gaze shot to mine. “Details.”

“I mighta accidentally on purpose kinda got real close up against my front door. ”

“Accidentally on purpose.”

I nodded. “Well, I opened the door wearing just a towel.”

Clay choked on his beer, earning us a few looks from the others. He wiped his beard and his shirt. “Sorry.”

I avoided all eye contact and took another pull of my beer, but Colson just laughed. “And? He liked what he saw?”

“Pretty sure, yeah. But he also freaked out a little bit, so I backed off. Well, until he tried to leave and then I might have cornered him at the door, but I was dressed by then.”

“And desperate for him not to leave,” Colson added.

I gave a nod. “Something like that, yeah.”

“Well,” Colson murmured, “for what it’s worth, when you haven’t been lookin’ at him, he’s been looking at you.”

It took everything in my power not to look at Rob right then. “Really?”

Colson’s grin widened. “You can say what you like, Soren, but you got it bad. And maybe, just maybe—” He pointed with his eyes. “—you’re not the only one.”

Before I could turn or sneak a peek, Clay cleared his throat. “Oh, Rob,” he said loud enough to make everyone stop. “Sorry to interrupt. I got that Christmas tree for you. Can drop it around tomorrow afternoon if that suits you?”

Rob’s gaze went from Clay’s to mine, back to Clay’s. “Uh, sure. That’d be great, thanks.”

Gunter patted Rob’s arm. “Though he should probably have some help decorating it, because he helped me decorate the center today, which I am most grateful for, but...”

Rob put his hand to his chest. “I told you I was terrible at it.”

Gunter laughed and gave him a playful nudge. “I’m just kidding. It was fine.”

“It was terrible,” Rob said with a laugh. “No need to call it anything other than what it was.”

“No, it was fine,” Gunter said again, but he leaned back in his chair and shook his head. Then he looked directly at me. “But someone could help.”

Then every pair of eyes turned to me, each and every one of them throwing me under the bus. Rob’s cheeks went red, and before he could say no, I said, “Sure. Only too happy to help. Actually, I already said I would.”

“Oh, you already asked?” Hamish asked Rob. “And here I was thinking we’d need to work a covert operation like Avengers Assemble or something.”

Rob’s cheeks were a darker shade of red. “Uh, I, uh...”

“Thanks, guys,” I said flatly. “Thanks for not making it awkward or anything.”

Clay laughed and clinked his beer bottle to mine. “No worries.”

I dared to look over at Rob then, and when his eyes met mine, he shook his head and laughed.

It was hard to be mad at them when they all looked at me with such kindness. It was a fond humor, and maybe they knew I was interested in Rob and were trying to give us a gentle nudge in the right direction.

Or maybe they knew I was desperate to not be alone anymore and wanted nothing more in the whole world than someone to share my life with.

I wanted someone to hang out with, to cook with, to cuddle on the couch with. Sure, intimacy and sex would be awesome, but honestly, the intimacy of doing everyday things together, of sharing my life with someone, that was what I wanted.

Could I have that with Rob? Could I see myself laughing in his kitchen or snuggled up on his couch watching something funny on TV?

I was thinking I’d like to find out.

Considering I’d known him a matter of days, and the fact he’d moved here after burning himself out, it really wasn’t my decision to make.

I’d have to leave it up to him.

“You okay?” Colson murmured, knocking his knee to mine. “Zoned out there.”

I blinked myself back to the present. The conversation at the table had moved on, and thankfully no one was paying any attention to me.

“Uh, yeah, sure. Just thinking about some... thing.”

He nodded slowly. “Mm-hm.”

“I should, ah... I should get going,” I said, grabbing my coat from the back of my chair.

“Are you good?” he pressed.

“Yeah, of course,” I said. I clearly wasn’t good, and although tonight had been great, I needed some fresh air.

“I’ll come by the station this week sometime,” Colson added.

I stood up and clapped his shoulder. “Sounds good.”

Rob saw me stand. “Oh,” he said, getting to his feet too. “Are we...? I mean, are you...?” He checked his watch. “Oh wow, yeah, it got late. I should go. You’re going home? I’ll walk with you, if that’s okay?”

Everyone at the table was watching us, smiling.

“Yeah, of course,” I replied.

Rob held his coat to his chest like a shield and winced. “It’s just that... I don’t own appropriate footwear and I slip a lot and he catches me...” He winced harder, and it was so freaking adorable.

How was a guy older than me adorable?

“Appropriate footwear is very important,” Hamish said, grinning, his huge eyes like a cartoon character.

“Thanks for tonight, guys, it’s been great,” I said, trying to save Rob. “Jayden, you in particular, the food was amazing, as always. Let me know if I owe you anything extra.”

He waved me off. “No problem. Anytime.”

“We should all do this more often. Not just at Christmastime,” Ren said.

I gave a nod as I pulled my coat on. “We should.”

“I’ve had a great evening,” Rob said, meeting me at the door. He put his coat on but his collar was tucked in, so without thinking, I reached up and straightened it for him.

Someone made a high-pitched eeeeeep sound. Hamish or Braithe, I wasn’t sure, but they were all watching us, and Rob’s face flushed red. He pulled his toque on his head as I opened the door and I gave a wave as I followed him out.

Jayden closed the door behind us, just in time to see Rob’s foot slide out from under him. I grabbed him and pulled him against me, his face an inch from mine. “Jeez, you okay?” I asked.

Rob nodded, his eyes locked on mine, and he made no attempt to free himself from my arms. Until we heard Jayden laugh. We both turned to see him grinning at us from the glass door.

Of course he saw.

Then Hamish appeared beside him, and I linked my arm with Rob’s and crossed the road.

“I, uh, I really need to get better shoes,” Rob said.

“Well, probably,” I agreed. “Not that I mind and all, but just in case I’m not close enough to catch you.”

“Well, yes.” He kept his arm linked with mine as we began walking down Main Street, and damn, it felt nice. “I can’t expect you to save me all the time.”

“Maybe I can speak to Doug about the salt maintenance. He’s buddies with the mayor, and it’s a city ordinance issue. We usually get stuck with proper clean-up disposal of incorrect salting. People mean well but it’s really bad for the river and the soil, especially with all the national parks around here.”

“It’s fine,” he said. “I don’t mean to be a bother. I’ll just get some proper footwear and adapt to the conditions. And learn to walk like a functioning adult.”

I snorted. “Didn’t you spend your childhood winters skating or skiing?”

“You mean venturing outside? When there were perfectly good books to be read inside by the fire?”

That made me laugh. “Okay. I guess being a doctor and all, you were more the studious type than me.”

“You grew up in Canada. I grew up in Seattle where it snows much less frequently and with considerably less severity. And,” he said with emphasis, “it snows outside the house, where I tended to avoid being because of the aforementioned books by the fire.”

I laughed again, and as we made it to our street, I relished walking in comfortable silence with him, his arm linked with mine.

The street was lit by soft streetlights and colorful Christmas lights on houses and fences, and I swear I wasn’t going crazy, but Rob was definitely leaning into me a little.

“I can’t believe this is my life now,” he said. “Look at this place.”

I chuckled. “It’s pretty, huh.”

“And tonight? I think I can say tonight was the best night I’ve had in a long time. I can’t even remember... years. And I hate to sound like I hated my old life, because I didn’t. It was everything I’d worked so hard for, but it simply became my entire life. I slept at the hospital more than I slept at home, and it was fine because that’s what it took to be the best in my field, and in the beginning, I loved it.” He sighed. “Until I didn’t love it anymore.”

“Until it wore you down.”

“Oh yeah,” he said with a nod. “But here, I get to be a doctor. A back-to-basics doctor. A general practitioner three days a week. I get days off. Like actual days off. I helped out at the youth center today. And by help out I mean put up decorations that I’m pretty sure Gunter fixed after I left.” He let out a laugh. “ Then dinner tonight with a great group of guys. I can’t believe this is my actual life.”

“Do you... do you think you might get bored with it?”

“With this?” He gestured at the picturesque street before us. “Are you kidding? Did you miss the part where I said I now work three days per week and had the best night I can remember having?”

“Well, I’m glad. Just remember, if you get bored and start missing your life back in Seattle, I can give you a list of things to do to keep you busy.”

“Things to do? Such as?”

Uh, me.

“I don’t know,” I replied instead. “What hobbies do you have?”

“None. Work. Specializing in emergency medicine for ninety hours a week doesn’t leave much time for hobbies.”

Jeez.

“Well, we can find you a hobby.”

“Oh god, like what? Please don’t say fishing.”

I laughed and slowed our walking to a stop. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

He noticed where we were. “Ah. My house. The void of darkness amidst a sea of blinking Christmas lights.”

“I can help you tomorrow afternoon, if you’d like.”

Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes.

“I would like that, thank you.” He smiled at me, then at his feet, before his eyes met mine again. “I’ll cook dinner as thanks.”

“And I would like that,” I said, only realizing that I still had his arm linked with mine. I let it go and nodded. “I’ll come by around four o’clock?”

“Perfect.” He glanced back at his house. “Did you... did you want to come in? For a drink or a...”

Oh god.

Oh holy shit.

“I really do,” I whispered.

His smile, his blush, just perfection.

I was going to hate myself for this...

“But,” I began.

His smile died as realization dawned. “Oh. There’s a but. Of course. I didn’t mean anything else. Just a drink. It’s fine. I should go...” He took a step back. “I shouldn’t have...”

“No, Rob, wait. It’s not like that. I want to. I really do.”

He waved me off and laughed, looking anywhere but at me, walking backward. “It’s fine. Tomorrow is... you don’t have to come by. I mean, I can hang some lights, probably terribly, but that’s okay?—”

“Rob, please.” God, I’d ruined our perfect night. I’d ruined the mood, and possibly any chance... “I want to.”

He climbed his porch steps and put his hand up in a stop gesture. “It’s okay. No need.”

Fuck.

“I’ll be here at four,” I said. “To help with the Christmas lights.”

But it was too late. He’d unlocked his door and disappeared inside, the porch light turning off a second later.

I stood there in the dark, wondering what the ever-loving fuck I’d just done.