Defining Us (Rocky Waters)

Chapter 5

5

AINSLEY

I should have anticipated the kiss. It’s not like I didn’t want him to kiss me. I so did, so many times before he actually made his move. But when he finally made his move, he caught me off guard. In the best possible way.

His lips crash to mine. He doesn’t even hesitate before his tongue finds its way into my mouth. I part my lips for it, almost as if I can’t wait for it to get into my mouth. He massages my tongue with his, but not in the way he started the kiss. It’s gentler this time, until I kick it up a notch.

Somehow my hands find his neck, and his find my backside, just above the waist, but soon his hands find their way up and he entwines his fingers in my hair. He tugs gently, all the while his tongue is inside my mouth.

He’s managed to turn us so that my back is now up against the pool table. I find myself being lifted off the ground, and he sits my ass on the table. He plants himself in between my thighs, like earlier in the night. He pauses the kiss, just enough time to turn his hat around on his head, but then his lips are back on mine. This time, he pulls my bottom lip into his mouth and tugs gently. A small moan escapes my lips, and his dark eyes go a little wilder. He drags his tongue along my lip in his mouth, and then his tongue is back into my mouth. I lick the underside of his tongue with mine as my lip slips out of his.

I pull away for a minute, to catch my breath. My arms are still wrapped loosely around his neck, his exploring my backside, the area around my waist. At first when I pull away, he mumbles, “Fuck,” and I think he’s mad. I’m about to say something when his face softens the slightest bit and he adds, “Girl, what the hell are you doing to me?” He brings his forehead down to meet mine.

A small giggle escapes me. When my gaze finds his, his face stays serious, so I whisper, “Hell if I know, but the feeling’s mutual.”

He slowly removes his arms from my backside and backs up the slightest bit, causing my arms to unlatch from his neck and fall to his shoulders. Making no more attempts to move away from me, his face loses some of the seriousness as he begins to speak. “Where the fuck did you learn to play like that?”

I smile. “My brother. We’ve had a pool table in our basement for as long as I can remember and when he deemed me old enough to play with him, he taught me how to play the game. It probably helps that I can see the different angles as math equations. Even my brother wasn’t expecting that part of my talent. He would watch, just as you did, as I would line up shots that he didn’t agree with or think wouldn’t work. He was more vocal about it than you were, until he realized my shots always worked and learned not to question me.” I stop talking. If I continue, I either won’t be able to stop or I’ll get too reflective about my brother. And I’m not going there with Grayson right now.

He raises his eyebrows at me in disbelief. “You see every shot as a math equation?” I nod. “Are you some sort of math geek?”

There was no judgment in his question, and I think it actually turned him on a bit more.

I contemplate my answer for a minute. “Geek” can be taken in so many ways. I go with, “If the shoe fits.”

He lets that sink in for a minute. Then he leans in to me and in that damn gravelly voice I heard for the first time earlier this evening, he rasps, “I bet you were the cutest geek of the bunch.”

I wish he weren’t standing in between my legs because I really need to close them. He must sense this since he backs himself away from me. He turns his hat back around, and I watch as the wheels appear to be turning in his head.

“You want to play again?” I ask, hopping down from the table.

“I don’t know,” he replies honestly. Looking down at the ground, he adds, “All you are going to do is kick my ass, although I have to admit, it’s quite the turn-on.”

I’m glad he sees it as a turn-on. Most guys hate that I can kick their ass. “I can play lefty,” I suggest coyly.

He leers over at me. “Sure, why not?” he says with a shrug. “Rack ‘em up.”

I re-rack the balls and when he makes no motion to break them, I do the honors. Playing lefty isn’t as easy as righty, so I only manage to break the balls up; none of them find their way into the pockets. “Your turn.”

There’s a perfect shot lined up for him; he easily shoots the first ball into the hole. I watch as he walks around the table, contemplating his next move. From my viewpoint, I can easily see a few moves he could start with. Deciding I’d much rather study him than the table, I ogle him up and down. His jeans sit low on his hips, and when he bends down to take the shot, his shirt rides up, revealing a toned stomach. He’s wearing long sleeves so it’s hard to judge how his arms look. His chiseled jaw sports a few days of scruff, probably because of being on the boat. There’s a little more of it than the other night, although it wasn’t rough when he kissed me. His hair is hidden beneath his Mariners hat, which also hides his forehead. His face is serious as he lines up his next shot. Again, he easily shoots one into the pocket.

Just as I’m thinking I won’t have a shot this game, Natalie comes up to our table and when she begins to speak, it throws him a bit and the cue ball misses its intended mark.

“Shit, sorry Gray,” she apologizes when she senses what happened. She saunters up behind him and wraps her arms around his waist and lays her head on his back. Even though I know she’s with Caleb, my body stiffens the slightest bit, although Grayson doesn’t flinch. I’ve never been jealous over a guy before, and this one doesn’t even belong to me. Yet, I find my insides start to boil with how comfortable she looks with him and how he allows it.

“What’s up, Nat?” he asks her, not bothering to turn around.

“The other guys are almost finished and want to know if you and Ainsley want to go grab some food. Caleb guessed you hadn’t eaten anything yet.”

Grayson looks over at me. “You hungry?”

“As soon as I clear the table, I will be,” I tell him. I look around at the balls, choosing the best position to start. I lean down, line up the cue stick with the ball, and tap the ball with the stick. It moves toward the intended ball, hitting it just as I planned, rolling a few inches before dropping into the pocket.

Natalie unwraps herself from Grayson, staring intently as I set up my next move. I see her look over at Grayson who just shrugs his shoulders and smirks. I can’t help but give him a smirk back, as I make my next move. This time, the cue ball hits one of my balls and one of his, but as planned, his just rolls further away from the pocket as mine falls in.

“Wow. I would never have thought that shot would have worked,” Natalie says in awe.

“That’s nothing,” Grayson states. “You should see her play righty.”

Natalie’s eyes practically bug out of her head. She walks closer to me, careful not to get in my way. She watches as I set up my next shot. She shakes her head, like she knows it’s not going to work. What she can’t see is that it will work, as long as the cue ball hits the purple one at the exact angle I’m shooting for. It’s a little harder to shoot lefty, but I’ve never let that stop me before, especially with an audience. And well, a guy.

I pull my stick back and let go. The stick hits the ball just where I aimed which causes the reaction I want with the purple ball ending up in the pocket.

“Damn.” Then Natalie looks over at me. “You realize Grayson is not only competitive as hell, but he’s also a sore loser, right?”

My face falls a bit. I know I don’t know the guy well, but he doesn’t seem like either of those things. The fact I already kicked his ass once and he agreed to play again tells me that he can’t be that competitive nor that much of a sore loser. When she throws her head back and starts cackling, I realize she’s totally kidding. She comes over closer to me. She lowers her voice so that he can’t hear what she’s saying, even though he’s watching her with hawk eyes.

“He’s really not either of those things.” She leans in and continues in my ear, “Until you get him into the bedroom.”

What the hell, I think? She’s been with him in the bedroom? My eyes shoot over to Grayson, even though he has no clue what she’s just told me. I know it shouldn’t bother me in the slightest, but for some odd reason, it really does. Obviously he’s been with other girls; I’m no virgin by any means. And first impressions of Natalie are favorable. Maybe it was the way she was hanging all over him earlier and looked so comfortable.

Grayson looks over at us, standing with his pool cue tucked against his side. His face has a confused look on it. Before I know what’s happening, he’s walking over to us. “Whatever she told you, it’s most likely not true.” He glares over at Natalie.

“Who me?” she asks, putting on an innocent look. She looks back over to her friends at the other table. I follow her gaze and see that they have packed up their table and are getting antsy. “Are you guys almost done? It looks like Caleb and the gang are ready to get going.” She motions her head over to point to her friends. Caleb is incessantly beckoning her over.

“We’ll meet you. Where are you going? The diner?” Grayson asks. The eight-ball and some stripes are still in play on the table.

“Yep,” Natalie answers. She walks back up to me and grabs me into her, wrapping her arms around me. Caught off guard, I hesitantly stiffen but quickly relax as she tightens her grip around me. She pats me on the back before she pulls away. She looks over at Grayson, who is again watching us intently. “He’s really a great guy. And I have no idea what he’s like in the bedroom, despite what I said before. He’s always been like a brother to me. Maybe one day you can fill me in.” She winks at me. “See you at the diner.”

She walks away from me, leaving me standing there a bit shocked. She hugs Grayson and whispers something in his ear. At her words, a genuine smile creeps onto his face. Seeing his smile makes me smile in return. He really is handsome, especially when he smiles like that.

Once Natalie has walked away, Grayson comes back over to me. I’m leaning on the pool table, and he comes up close next to me. “You ready to call it a game and get some food?”

I nod. He takes the cue stick out of my hand and walks both of the sticks back to the holder on the wall. I start to collect the balls and rack them into the triangle. Once he’s back, he sidles up behind me, boxing me in so I can’t move. He puts his arms on the table and leans his body into mine, pushing me further into the table. My heart beats a little faster the closer he gets to me. He lays his head on my shoulder and sighs; it about does me in.

I don’t know what he’s doing, but I don’t want him to stop, nor do I want to move, not that I can actually move. My pulse continues to race because not only is he this close to me, but his breathing is labored. It’s doing things to my body that I haven’t felt in a long time. I like it and at the same time, it scares the shit out of me because I hardly know him. However, none of that stops me from turning my body around.

As soon as I start to move, I feel his head shift and once I’m around, he’s got a confused look on his face. “I just needed to see your face,” I tell him. His lips turn up into the slightest smile. I run my fingers along his chin, his stubble tickling the tiniest bit.

He drops his forehead and gently leans it on mine but keeps his arms planted on the table, still boxing me in. “I don’t want to share you tonight,” he voices out of nowhere .

“You mean at the diner?” I ask, somewhat bewildered. He nods. “I know what you mean. But, I’m also curious to get to know your friends. Hell, I want to get to know you more.” I don’t add what I’m really thinking which is that I want to get to know him more intimately. His mind, his body, all of him. I shake my head slightly, to shake away that thought. It’s so unlike me to be this interested in getting to know someone intimately this early in the relationship. Because getting to know Grayson involves getting to know all of him; it’s not just hooking up.

He must notice my head shaking because he tips my chin up so that I’m looking at him. “What?” he asks. “What are you thinking?”

I decide to go all in. “I’m thinking after our dinner, since we already have plans for breakfast tomorrow, I figure what’s the use in going home by myself tonight?” As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I regret them. For about ten seconds. And then I realize there’s nothing more I want to do than go home with Grayson. I want to see his house, I want to know where he sleeps, I want to learn what makes him tick. I want to soak him up every which way I can.

His brown eyes go wide. He takes in a deep breath, slowly lets it out, and murmurs, “That can be arranged, darling.” He pecks my cheek with his lips and pulls away from me. He grabs the balls and other supplies and starts walking toward the entrance of the pool hall.

It takes me a minute to get my feet to move. Not only did I just tell this man, a man I’ve known all of forty-eight hours, that I don’t want to go home by myself, he agreed to it. As I watch him walk away, his jeans hugging his tight ass, I realize that it’s more than just a physical connection we share. It’s like he’s reached inside of my heart and my soul and grabbed a hold of them both.

I finally will my feet to start moving. I catch up to Grayson as he’s paying for our game time. Once he’s paid, he grabs my hand in his and we walk out of the pool hall hand-in-hand. In the parking lot, he looks at me. “What should we do about your car? ”

I like his take-charge attitude. “My apartment is on the way to the diner. We can drop it off there, I can grab some stuff, and then go meet your friends?” I pose it as a question.

“I’ll follow you,” he says, nodding.

He walks me to my car, not once letting go of my hand. Once at my car, he brings my hand up to his mouth and ever so gently kisses the back of it. He tugs my keys out of my hand and hits the button to unlock the doors. He opens my door for me and leans against the open door, waiting for me to get in. I climb inside and start to buckle. Before closing the door, he leans in and his lips meet mine. He pulls them away before I can even kiss him back. At my puzzled look, his lips curl up into a devious smile as he explains, “There’s time for more later.”

I can’t help as my own lips curl up into a smile as he closes my door and walks over to his car.

At my apartment, I quickly throw together a bag of PJs and clothes for the next day. I grab a toothbrush, my hairbrush, and my makeup bag from the bathroom and toss them in the bag. Grayson waits for me in my living room. I didn’t exactly invite him in any further, but he seems content just waiting on the couch. When I get closer to him, he stands and then grabs the bag from my hands. Taking a look inside, he hands me back my makeup bag.

“You are way prettier without this crap,” he says as an explanation when he reads the confusion on my face.

“How do you even know what’s inside it?”

“I have a sister, who has a girlfriend. Trust me. I know it’s full of makeup. Makeup you don’t need.” To prove he’s right, he grabs it back from my hands and starts to unzip the bag. He rifles through it. “Yep. Not necessary,” he adds. He shoves it back in my hands and tells me to go put it away.

I take it back from him and walk it back down the hall. Truth of the matter is I hate makeup. I’ve never been really good about knowing what colors suit me nor how to apply it correctly .

When I’ve returned, he’s still got my bag in my hands. “Ready? Nat just texted wondering where we are.”

“Let’s go.” I lock up behind us, and the minute the door is locked, he grabs my hand in his again. I could get used to this, I think to myself. Aloud, I ask him how long he’s known Natalie.

“More than half my life,” he explains. “I think we met in fourth grade, maybe third, I don’t remember exactly. It was shortly after we moved here to Maine. I found her at recess when she fell off the swing, and we’ve been friends ever since.”

Even though I know Natalie told me they’ve never been intimate, I needed his confirmation of it. “You ever have feelings for her?” I throw out there casually.

He stops walking in the middle of the hallway. “You’re kidding, right?”

I shake my head. “No?” I squeak out.

He laughs and shakes his head. “No, as much as I love her, as a friend, she and I wouldn’t ever work romantically. Not that we ever tried to know for sure. She’s like my other sister, and the feelings are mutual on her part.” He puts his hands on my shoulder and his eyes find mine. “I think your jealously is cute.”

“I’m not jealous,” I stammer. He’s so right. I am jealous, and I wonder if I have the right to be envious of their relationship.

He laughs at me with a “yeah, right.” “There’s nothing to worry about with Nat. Besides, she and Caleb are together.”

“Okay, just checking.” I start walking down the hall to the exit, a sigh of relief escaping my lips.

When we get outside, he leads me to his car, tosses the bag in the back seat and climbs into the driver’s seat.

“You aren’t going to open the door for me this time?” I tease. He starts to climb out, but I stop him. “I’m only kidding. I’m perfectly capable of opening up my own door.” I climb up into the car. He starts it up, the engine choking a bit, and pulls out of the spot.

On the way to the diner, I learn that he’s twenty-eight, Bella is three years younger than him, making her my age, his parents don’t live in Maine any longer, and he’s a Scorpio. I ask him a lot of questions and get a lot of one-word answers. It’s a bit like pulling teeth to not only get him to answer at all, but to elaborate as well. Part of the reason I ask about his life is because I don’t want to share about my own. He manages to get in a few general questions: what I do for work (adjunct college professor), if I have any siblings (just the brother who lives in Illinois), and if I grew up here (born and bred).

When we pull up to the diner, after parking, he quickly hops out of the car before I can get out so that he can open my door for me.

“Such the gentleman.” He gives me that smile that I’m learning to adore. As if he can’t get enough of me, he grabs my hand as we walk inside. It’s crazy to me how much I already crave his touch and there’s no weirdness between the two of us. Whatever IS going on, it’s totally comfortable and not forced. I’m almost tempted to ask if we can skip dinner and just go back to his place, but in reality, I do want to get to know his friends more. And well, I’m starving.

We find Caleb and Natalie huddled with their heads together in a back booth, sitting across from each other. Grayson gently pulls me behind him as he leads me over to the table. When we get there, he just stands there and clears his throat. Natalie breaks her glance from Caleb and looks up at us. Giving us a big smile, she moves out of the bench and takes a seat next to Caleb on his bench. Once she’s vacated the bench, Grayson motions for me to climb in.

“I’ll be right back,” I tell him, suddenly needing a breather before I sit even closer to him. I leave him standing there, mouth agape as I hurry to the bathroom. Inside, I hide away in a stall, and soon afterward, I hear the bathroom door open and close.

“It’s Natalie,” I hear from behind the door.

“I’ll be right out.”

“Are you okay? Did something happen?” There’s a hint of genuine concern in her voice .

I shake my head and when I realize that she can’t see me, I respond quietly, “No.”

“Which question are you answering?” she asks in that same voice.

“Nothing happened. I just needed a moment.” I flush the toilet and open the door. She’s standing in front of the door, a look of concern on her face. Before I know what’s happening, she’s wrapping me in her arms, enveloping me in a hug. From out of nowhere, tears form in the corners of my eyes. I really can’t explain why. Not understanding any of my emotions, I squeeze her tighter and then go limp in her arms. She pulls her head back so she can gauge my state.

“Oh, sweetie. What is it? What’s wrong?” she asks, worry adding to the look of concern on her face.

I shrug, then laugh. “I have no fucking clue! I’ve never felt this way. It’s like, I’m overwhelmed and consumed by something, but hell if I know what it is.” I wipe my eyes, wiping away the one tear that has slipped out. “I’ve known him less than forty-eight hours. How the hell do I feel this way about him?”

She smiles. “Don’t take this the wrong way.” Taking a deep breath, she continues, “I love Grayson; he’s a great guy, but he doesn’t make everyone feel this way. In your case, I think it’s a great thing. Girls don’t make him feel the way you make him feel. Not only can I see it for myself, but Caleb let a few things slip that they discussed on the trip.”

My ears perk up at her confession. All of it. I try hard to grasp the meaning of everything she just told me. I don’t even know which part to focus on.

“You must think I’m an idiot,” I manage to blubber out.

“Nonsense.” She laughs, shaking her head. “If the two of you feel this way after such a short amount of time, I can’t wait to see how you feel in a few months.”

I think about what she says, but I don’t allow myself to go a few months down the road. Yet. I need to get through the night first .

Natalie wraps her arms around me one last time. “Come on, our boys are waiting for us out there.”

I quickly wash my hands, all the while thinking about her statement. “Our boys” has a nice ring to it, something I could totally be on board with about Grayson. I smile at that thought as I head back out to our table.