Delayed Penalty (Empire State Hockey #5)

Chapter 13 – Harris

Chapter Thirteen

Harris

Sawyer

I can’t wait to start shopping and buying all of the baby stuff imaginable.

Cassie

girl same! I’ve been adding things to my amazon cart since we found out you guys were expecting!

Ellie

You ladies are so sweet! This little nugget is going to be so spoiled, I can already tell.

Trevor

Don’t act like you’re not a huge part of this baby being spoiled.

Ellie

Should I share the screen shots of your Amazon cart, sir?

Or how about your past orders from say…the last five days?

Trevor

I retract my previous statement. Ellie is perfect. She is god’s gift to earth and I’m the luckiest man in the world.

S miling at their messages, I look down further at the other text thread I’ve opened at least two hundred times in the last month, my thumb hovering over the send button but I’ve refused to let myself do it. All I’ve wanted to do for the past month is text Avery, and I’ve had to do everything I can to force myself to give her the space she needs to figure out what she wants.

Well, I’ve done really well, minus the day I randomly showed up to her sister’s apartment and brought her soup, but I guess I didn’t text her so that has to count for something, right?

So now, I’m sitting at home when I could be out with Miles, but I’m distracting myself with watching hockey highlights and a few of the games from last season. As much as I almost wish I had taken Miles up on his offer, I don’t think I would have been the best company, at least not since he seemed like he was definitely in the mood to party tonight.

Getting lost in the TV, a pizza in the oven, a beer in hand, and a pair of comfy sweats on and nothing else and this is as close to a perfect relaxing night as I can get, but then I hear a knock on my door. It’s quiet, would almost think it was one of my neighbors, but it sounds too close to be a neighbor.

Getting up, I walk over to the door and open it to check and am shocked when I see Avery on the other side of the door. What the hell is she doing here? When she looks up into my eyes, she looks terrifies, like she wants to run. It’s almost like she wasn’t expecting me to be here to actually answer the door and now that I have she’s not sure what to do.

Reminds me of my dog back on my parents’ land. He would catch a squirrel or a bunny but the second he got it, he’d flail and end up letting it go because he hadn’t planned what to do next.

“Hi?” I ask, not sure what else to say.

“Hi,” she says quietly, her fingers fidgeting in front of her body… she’s uncomfortable and I hate it. I hate that she feels like she can’t talk to me, especially because there’s nothing that she could say to me that I wouldn’t help her through. “Can I come in?” she finally asks.

“Of course,” I say, stepping back and letting her in. Leading her into the kitchen, I stop at the fridge and turn to Avery. “Can I get you something to drink? Beer? Wine? Whiskey?”

“Uh, I wish. Can I just have a water?” she asks, her eyes on me, but it feels like she’s staring through me. Like she’s here, but she’s not. I don’t like it at all. I don’t like that it feels like she’s disassociating from something.

Grabbing two waters out of the fridge, I walk over and lead her into the living room and to the couch. Taking a seat next to her, I pass her a bottle of water and just wait. Giving her a moment because for some reason, it feels like she’s fighting herself on something.

I’m just hoping she’s not here to tell me she’s going back to Peter. The only thing I can imagine her telling me that would cause such a distraught look in her eyes would be that, she knows it would crush me because although we haven’t discussed anything, I think I’ve made it pretty clear I like being around her.

“I—I need to talk to you about something… something important,” she says, pausing as she fiddles with the water bottle, her nails scraping at the paper, a habit she’s always done when she’s nervous.

Reaching over, I grab the water bottle and set it on the table before turning back and taking both of her hands in mine. She’s shaking, her hands trembling in what seems to be fear and I want to take it from her. Replace those feelings with better ones. Feelings of being safe and secure, because right now she seems so fragile and like one wrong move and I’ll send her running as fast as she can.

“Whatever it is… you can talk to me,” I tell her. Still praying it’s not about Peter.

“I have some news… I actually just found this out today…” she starts, and I’m confused. “Harris… I’m pregnant.”

The second those last two words are out in the universe; I feel like I’ve been sucker-punched. The worse fear imaginable now realized because now I realize it’s over. Any chance I had of ever making things work with Avery is out the door and that realization is too much, my heart physically hurts, like it’s been ripped out of my chest.

“Congratulations,” I say, doing my best to speak through the pain, attempting to sound excited for her as I take a step back. “I’m really happy for you.”

I need distance. No, what I really need is more time. If only I’d had just a little bit longer, maybe I could’ve shown her, maybe I could’ve kept her this time.

She looks at me confused, eyebrows scrunched together, and I’m not sure what’s happening. Part of me wants to be pissed that she’s here telling me this, because what does she expect? Does she want me to come to her and Peter’s baby shower in support of their baby? I don’t get it, but I also can’t bring myself to be a complete dick because I can tell by the look in her eyes and the way she’s shaking that she’s terrified.

“I’m not sure you’re understanding.”

“I am,” I say, swallowing my pride one last time. “I get it, we had one fun night but you’re going back to him. I’m happy for you, though; I always knew you’d be a great mom,” I say, sadness hitting me like a freight train at the absolute heartbreaking truth to those words. Looking away, I blink away the tears, refusing to let them fall because this may be the end of my happiness, but it very well could be the start of hers.

Her eyes widen, mouth parting as she looks at me in shock.

“Wait… do you think I’m here telling you I’m having a baby with Peter?” she asks with a laugh. “Absolutely not. That man hasn’t stuck his dick in me in over six months.”

“So, what are you telling me?” I ask. The idea that’s beginning to transpire in my mind feels like a pipe dream, but I don’t want to jump to any conclusions.

“Harris. You’re the only person I’ve fucked in the last eight months. We’re going to have a baby,” she says, her words soft but steady, like she knows I need to hear it straight right now.

The words hit me harder than I expect them to, and not at all in a bad way. The overwhelming feeling of happiness over the fact that I’m going to get to be a dad is so exciting. And not only do I get to be a dad, but I get to be a dad to Avery’s baby and that feels like the greatest honor in the world.

Letting go of her hands, I wrap her in a hug and pick her up. I just hold her, letting the excitement flow between us as we’re trapped in this little moment where our future is both so uncertain, yet I’ve also never been more certain I’m right where I’m supposed to be.

“Are you upset with me?” she mumbles against my ear, her voice so quiet I almost miss it.

“Why on Earth would I be upset with you?”

“Harris. You didn’t sign up for this. You signed up for a one-night stand of helping me forget. That’s definitely not what this is. This is a baby. This is a for-life situation. Our lives are forever changed. Are you sure you’re okay with that?”

“Absolutely. Besides, Avery, you were the one who signed up for the one-night stand. I’m the one who signed up for whatever scraps you were willing to give me. Had you asked me that night to put a baby in you, I’d have spent all night filling you with my cum,” I tell her, the blush returning, and I can’t help but smile at her embarrassment because I choose to believe she’s embarrassed because she liked it.

I like the sound of that too, Ave.

“I… I don’t know why it’s hard for me to accept that you’re not upset with me,” she says, and I choose to let her glaze over my words, no need to embarrass her further when I’ve already had the effect I was hoping for.

“Because you’re used to being with someone who sucks. That’s not me.”

“Well, it didn’t work out too well when we were together, now did it,” she snaps, her arms crossed, and I can’t help myself.

“Why is that, Ave? Are we ever going to be able to talk about what happened between us?”

“Is that really what you want to get into right now? Do you finally want to talk face-to-face after all these years?” she says, her voice gets higher and more upset with every word, and I can see that there’s no way we are handling both of these topics today.

“No, you’re right. Let’s face one thing at a time and right now, the news you’ve brought is more important. How are you feeling with everything?”

She looks surprised at my question, like she hadn’t anticipated this being about her. But she’s growing a baby. She’s growing my baby, which means right now, she’s absolutely the most important person in my world. No, between her and that baby, they are my world.

“Overwhelmed. Nervous. Scared. But also… kind of excited,” she says, the last one a little quieter, but I see the smile starting the more we’re talking about this.

“Me too,” I tell her with a smile. “Who all have you told?”

“Just Kelly. I just found out today. I don’t even know any information. Plus… things with Peter have been a bit of a challenge so I definitely haven’t told him.”

“What do you mean?

“It’s nothing, really. He just hasn’t accepted that we’re over and won’t let me tell anyone. With his mom being my boss and her listening to everything he says, I’m sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place.”

“Why don’t you just quit and find a new job?” I ask, wishing she’d just get out of a place like that. It feels toxic. Especially with it now being her ex’s family she’d be working for.

“It’s not quite that easy. Usually, teaching jobs are easy to find, except lately they’ve been less common. It’s even harder when you’re still in your first couple of years teaching and are on probation. That’s why I’m just trying to wait it out, so I know I’ll have an income and won’t have to crawl back home to my parents. Now that I’m having a baby, it’s going to be even more important.”

“What are you going to do when they realize you’re pregnant?”

“I’m honestly not quite sure. Hopefully, I either find an apartment I don’t have to pay for so I can quit and look for something different or his mom suddenly forgets we were together and has no reason to hate me being pregnant.”

“Well, I’ve already said it once, but I’ll say it again. I have two other rooms, you’re more than welcome to stay in one… free of charge.”

She looks at me with hope in her eyes and I almost think she’s going to say yes. But she just smiles and shakes her head.

“That would definitely make things too messy between us. We’re already having a baby together, no need to put us living together where boundaries can get… blurry.”

“Are you saying you don’t think you could keep your hands off of me?” I smirk, which she just glares at, but I don’t miss her rosy cheeks.

“Shut up. By the way… I’m calling tomorrow to schedule an appointment… do you want to come?”

“Absolutely. Just let me know when and I’ll come pick you up.”

“You don’t have to do?—”

“It’s not up for discussion, just let me know the details, okay?”

“Fine. Look, I don’t mean to just spring this on you and leave, but Kelly’s waiting for me.”

“You know I can give you a ride home, right?”

“Now I do, but at the time I was worried you might hate me and it was best to have an escape route.”

“I could never hate you, Avery. Nothing could make me.”

She just smiles. “I’ll text you tomorrow with the details.”

Then she’s gone, and I’m left with the realization that in some fucked up way, I just got the one things I have always wanted.

Now I just have to show her how great we can be as a team, because ready or not, we’re about to become mom and dad.