Dirty Little Secret

3. Tessa

tessa

. . .

The following week

As I approach our usual corner table at the café, sunlight pours through the large windows, bathing everything in a golden glow. Kelly is already there, waving energetically with one hand, her new engagement ring catching rays and scattering them like tiny stars around her. My heart gives a conflicted tug—joy for Kelly tangles with the dull ache of my own unvoiced dreams.

"Look at this, Tessa!" she gushes, thrusting her hand closer to my eyes. The diamond catches the midday sun, dispersing little rainbows all over our table.

"It's beautiful, Kel," I say, and I mean it. She’s waited long enough for this. "He finally popped the question then?"

She laughs, sliding into the chair across from me. "Last night, under the stars—can you believe it? It was perfect.”

As we settle into our seats, Kelly can hardly sit still. She is bubbling over with details of how her boyfriend, Jon, proposed, and their plans for a summer wedding. I nudge my salad around while nodding and smiling, doing my best to soak in her happiness.

I manage a smile, stirring my latte absentmindedly, feeling the foam dissolve under the swirl of my spoon. “Sounds like a dream,” I murmur. Kelly's happiness is infectious but layers over my heartbreak like a Band-Aid over a deep wound.

"So, what about you and Magnus?" Kelly asks suddenly, her head tilting with curiosity that edges just a bit too close to pity.

"We're… good," I say finally, brushing off the heaviness in my chest with a shrug. "Magnus has been really busy with work.” I take a long pause before switching subjects. “Jon really went all out, didn’t he?” I admire the sparkle of her ring, hoping she doesn’t bring up Magnus again.

“Do you think he’ll ever propose?”

I hate this question because I have no way of answering that doesn’t make me sound foolish. "We never talk about marriage,” I confess. My throat feels tight as I imagine Magnus entertaining thoughts of marrying someone else—someone closer to his age and whom his family approves of openly. "We're just enjoying what we have. Taking things slow." The words taste bitter in my mouth because they're half-truths—the kind that veil your vulnerabilities from probing eyes.

Kelly’s expression shifts slightly—she’s too polite to push, but too good a friend not to notice the underlying tension in my voice.

"It's complicated," I add after a pause too long to go unnoticed. Looking up from my coffee, I meet Kelly's gaze squarely. “Besides, it’s only been six months,” I murmur, dipping a cookie into my cup more forcefully than necessary.

Kelly reaches across the table, covering my hand with hers. "It doesn’t have to be complicated,” she says softly. “You deserve happiness too, Tessa. Don't forget that."

Her words sink like stones into the pit of my stomach. Happiness—that elusive creature that flutters just out of reach whenever Magnus attends charity galas or family affairs without me. How long will I be his dirty secret?

“It’s just,” I begin, then hesitate. Sharing this might breach some unspoken rule between Magnus and me. “Magnus and I are complicated. And sometimes I get the funny feeling that the end is near. It’s nothing he’s said; it’s just a hunch.”

“Complicated how? And near the end? I’ve only met him a few times, but the guy seems crazy about you.” Kelly’s voice is full of concern now.

I sigh. “You know Magnus's family is New York old money, and people like that have expectations. My family has money, but I’m much younger than him. Maybe he fears a scandal.” The words feel heavy and sour on my tongue. “It’s not a big thing. He’s never made any promises."

"But he loves you, doesn’t he? That should count for something."

“He says he does,” I assure her—and myself. “And he shows it every day. At least I think he does—I’ve never been in love before him.” The last word escapes in a confused whisper.

Kelly’s expression softens, and she seems to be choosing her next words carefully. "Maybe it's time you two had a real talk about where things are going."

“Jesus, Kelly. Enough about me. This is your moment, and I refuse to entertain any more discussion of Magnus and me.” I order a piece of cake to share in celebration. “You’re getting married, and I am totally here for it, lady.” I lift my fork, and she happily clinks it in a toast. “Just please don’t become a bridezilla.”

“You know me,” Kelly chuckles. “I will undoubtedly be a raging bridezilla.”