Dirty Secrets (The Heights #1)

Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

RAVEN

M y body ached. There was a hard dick against my ass, and an arm tightened around me as I wriggled.

“I swear to God, Rae. You can’t possibly want more,” Logan murmured sleepily, pressing against me more as I tilted my head so he could kiss my neck.

“I’m too sore,” I admitted, making him chuckle.

“I’m not surprised. I shouldn’t have kept going after the first time.”

Footsteps sounded in the hallway, and Logan moved back a fraction just as the door opened and Zavier stepped into the room. “Hey. Reid said you’re cramping.” He walked closer and sat on the edge of the bed by Logan, giving me a second to roll over and face him to see he had some pills and a glass of water in his hands. “Here, this will help.”

“You got me pain pills?”

“Of course. I’ll make you a coffee,” he smiled, waiting for me to take the pills so he could take the empty glass back to the kitchen with him, and once he was gone, Logan sighed.

“They’re going to know. My dick won’t go down for starters, but I just want to keep touching you.”

“No more,” I scolded, trying to get out of bed but failing as he grabbed me and dragged me against him.

“Promise that last night was good for you,” he said, worry in his eyes.

“It was better than I expected,” I admitted. “I knew you’d make it good, but not that good.”

“You’re welcome,” he grinned, grabbing a handful of my ass before groaning and rolling away. “We need to get out of bed before I get us both in trouble.”

“I’ll go first,” I giggled, his face softening, and I could see him fighting it for a moment before giving me a quick kiss.

“Thank you for trusting me to be your first.”

“Thanks for not making me feel like a weirdo about it,” I mumbled, my hormones not getting the memo that this thing was already over when he smiled and butterflies took flight in my stomach.

“You’ve ruined me for all other women, Rae. I can promise you that.”

Leaving his room would mean it was over, and it was difficult to drag myself out and put some space between us. We could totally just be friends without it feeling strange.

I headed into my bedroom, frowning when I noticed that the bed was made.

“If you’re looking for the tampons, they’re in the bedside drawer,” Reid said from behind me, startling me.

“Did you make my bed?”

“No. Zavier put the sheets in the dryer when he got home last night. He made it when he got up this morning.”

“Oh. I’ll have to thank him,” I said with a smile, dropping onto the edge of the bed and wincing at the tenderness.

“You’re sore?” he asked as he moved closer and squatted in front of me to look up at my face, and I shrugged, trying to keep the panic off my face.

“Just getting cramps. Can I borrow the car for a few hours?” I asked, making him frown. I needed to get out of the house so Logan and I could snap out of our bullshit before we got ourselves busted.

I was already missing his damn hands on me.

“Where are you going?”

“I was thinking about tagging some walls or something.”

“I’ll come with you.”

“No,” I said quickly, making him frown. “I mean, I just want some alone time.”

He eyed me but fished his keys from his pocket, handing them over. “Be careful.”

“I will,” I smiled, clutching his keys in my hand tightly as if he was going to snatch them back.

He nodded, not seeming to believe me, but he left the room so I could get ready to leave.

I got dressed and put some liner and mascara on, brushing my hair before going in search of my holey shoes.

Zavier appeared with them in his hand, offering them to me and tilting his head. “Where are you going?”

“I want some alone time so I figured I’d tag some walls or something,” I replied as I took them and put them on my feet.

“Is something wrong?”

I sighed. “No. I just want to get out by myself. I’ll be fine.”

“Alright. Call if you need us,” he murmured, turning to leave, but I stopped him.

“Zav? Where were you last night? I didn’t hear you come home.”

“Ended up at Beckett’s until late. I had other plans, but I changed my mind,” he said with a shrug, and it was on the tip of my tongue to ask what plans he’d canceled, but decided against it.

“Well, thanks for fixing my bed,” I answered, his features relaxing at the change of subject. Whatever plans he’d originally had were probably ones I’d hate.

“I hope you start feeling better soon,” he said with a warm smile, taking his gun out of the back of his pants and holding it out to me. “Take it. Just in case.”

Guilt hit me as I took it and watched him walk away. Both him and Reid were running around doing nice shit for me, and I was lying right to their faces.

I hadn’t expected to feel so bad about it. It was my body, after all.

At least the pain meds would hopefully stop the ache between my damn legs.

Since they knew that I was leaving, I grabbed my bag of paint and headed outside, climbing into the car and starting the engine. I took my time reversing out of the driveway before heading down the road.

Reid would murder me if I wrecked his car.

I ended up at one of the abandoned houses on the edge of the Heights and Rawson. It was a quiet street, so I wasn’t worried about the car as I locked it and walked away, moving around to the back of the house to let myself in the back door.

I’d tagged this house before, so I knew how easy it was to get in.

I set to work, trying to zone out as I turned the dirty wall into a work of art, but it was hard to shut my mind off.

Could Logan and I just be friends now? Letting him fuck me hadn’t changed anything, we could still hang out and curl up in bed together like we always had and it wouldn’t be weird.

Right?

By the time I’d run out of black paint, I still couldn’t shut my mind off.

Last night had been amazing, and part of me wanted to do it again the second I got home. A smile tugged at my lips as I thought about how it felt to have Logan moving inside me, making me come as his lips devoured mine.

Was sex always like that, or was Logan just really fucking good at it?

How would it feel when he brought girls home and I heard them fucking?

I’d always been a little jealous, but now that I’d slept with him, I was likely to murder any woman who touched him.

Reining in my anger and hurt would be hard, but I had to control myself, or Reid and Zavier would know we’d done something, and it would start World War Three in the fucking kitchen.

I grabbed the red paint to keep going, my style getting messier as frustration filled me until I tossed the can aside and let an angry tear fall.

Why hadn’t I just slept with a stranger to make this easier? I shouldn’t have let the guys talk me out of it.

I cursed under my breath as I used the sleeves of my hoodie to wipe my eyes, not expecting to find Logan standing in front of me when I pulled my hands away again.

“Are you upset with me?” he asked with uncertainty, relief hitting him when I shook my head. “Thank fuck. Reid said you wanted to be alone and I thought it was because of me. What’s wrong?”

I shook my head, forcing a smile but my lips trembled. “Nothing.”

“Rae. You’re crying,” he said as if I wasn’t aware, stepping closer but stopping when I took a step back. Confusion filled his eyes, and I waved a dismissive hand at him as another stupid tear fell.

“We shouldn’t have done it,” I choked out, wrapping my arms around myself and making him curse.

“Fuck, you regret it, don’t you? I should’ve?—”

“It was so good. Too good, to be honest, because the thought of you doing that with someone else is making me want to kill someone,” I laughed, wiping my cheeks to try and look less pathetic. “You don’t owe me anything, but can you maybe not fuck girls in front of me for a while?”

“You think I’m going to drag a girl home tonight or something?” he asked slowly, cringing when I nodded. “Damn, Rae. I’m not that much of an asshole. Besides, you think I can just fuck someone else after being inside you? It’s going to take seven to ten business days for me to even believe I did that. Pretty sure my dick’s still hard for you only and has no intention of going down any time soon.”

“I thought I was the one being dramatic,” I joked, glancing down when he pointed to his semi-tented pants. “Oh.” He moved closer, not letting me step back as he pulled me against his chest, and I scowled as tears burned my eyes again. “Ugh, sex turned me into an emotional girl.”

He chuckled, tightening his hold on me as my tears soaked into his shirt. “You were already an emotional girl. I promise though, I’m not interested in pretending like last night didn’t happen.”

“That was the deal though.”

“No, it wasn’t. The deal was that it wouldn’t ruin our friendship, which it hasn’t. I barely slept last night because I kept thinking about wanting to touch you again,” he murmured, leaning back to hold my gaze. “Are you hurting? I volunteer to kiss it better.”

I laughed and swatted at him, not that he let me go. “You’re ridiculous. Just friends again today, remember? No touching.”

“I don’t want that,” he said firmly, taking my face in both his hands to stop me from looking away.

“What do you want?” I asked slowly, hope flicking inside me.

“Everything,” he answered quietly, his thumbs moving back and forth against my cheeks. “I want to be inside you all the time, and wake up next to you every damn day. I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it. Now that I’ve touched you, I don't want to stop.”

“You want me more than those other girls?” I asked hesitantly, gasping as he kissed me, answering my question.

My hands instantly moved to his chest, dragging him closer as I fisted his shirt, but I jerked back when I realized what we were doing.

“Why’d you stop?” he panted, giving me space but not letting me escape him as he kept his fingers wrapped around my wrist loosely.

“We can’t. Reid and Zav?—”

“I’ll fight them if you want,” he offered, and I scoffed.

“No. That’s not what I want.”

“Then we don’t have to tell them yet. Give it some time before telling them.”

“Logan—”

“I’m not letting you go,” he practically snapped as he pulled me closer again. “Can we try this for a while? We can just be friends who fuck, right? I’ll teach you whatever you want. I can’t not have you like that again.”

I’d seen his playboy antics before, and this wasn’t it. Logan didn’t beg anyone for anything, and he definitely didn’t give a shit if he had the same sexual partner more than once.

He genuinely wanted me, and I didn’t know how to feel about that.

“You’ll get bored of me. I’m not into adventurous things like gangbangs or?—”

“You’re not a fucking hookup, Raven. I don’t want you to be like those girls who drool over fucking a roomful of guys. I’m selfish, and I don’t particularly want to share you,” he cut in, resting his forehead on mine. “Please say we can keep doing whatever this is for a little longer.”

“You can’t keep your dick in your pants, and I’m not okay with casual hookups with you while you fuck other people.”

“I wasn’t lying when I said last night was the best night of sex I’ve ever had.” My face heated, and he kissed me softly this time, speaking against my lips. “If I’m sleeping with you, then there’s no other girls until we call it off. I promise. You know you can safely experiment with me to find out what things you like.”

“Okay,” I murmured, leaning closer to kiss him and end the conversation.

Logan

I was addicted.

If Raven wasn’t so damn sore, I would’ve fucked her hard against the wall, but I also had to remember that she was new at sex and probably wouldn’t appreciate it.

She deserved more than a quick fuck in an abandoned house.

I had to keep reminding myself of that when her fingers slipped into my pants and hesitated before slipping lower to wrap around my half-erect cock.

“Not here,” I murmured against her lips, making her pull back to look at me with confusion.

“Where then? We can’t go back to the house.”

“You’re killing me,” I groaned, closing my eyes as she kept touching my dick. “I can’t fuck you today. You’re going to be too sore.”

“I don’t care,” she grumbled, a chuckle leaving me.

“You will later.”

She looked deep in thought for a second before speaking, and I almost came in her hand. “Can I give you head then? Teach me that.”

“If you put your mouth on my cock, you’re definitely getting railed,” I warned, not stopping her as she tugged at my pants to get them out of the way. “Fuck, fine. Put my shirt under your knees so they don’t get scraped on the floor.”

I pulled it over my head and handed it to her, and I loved how she did as she was told before kneeling in front of me, curiously staring at my dick.

“How do I do it?”

I wasn’t usually a fan of the whole innocent girl thing, but when it came to Raven, I loved it. Inexperienced girls were a pain in the ass because you had to teach them and remember not to scare them off by being too rough or forward, but I’d take all the time in the world to teach Raven whatever the fuck she wanted.

“You can’t fuck it up unless you bite me,” I joked, not expecting her to just open her mouth and try to fit all of me in there. I locked up my muscles to stop myself from jerking forward and choking her, savoring that first touch of her tongue as she explored my cock with it. “That’s good. Might want to let me know now if you don’t want me to come in your mouth because I’ll forget to ask otherwise.”

She fumbled a little as she returned to stroking me so she could talk. “Will you judge me if I end up spitting it out?”

“Nah. Not everyone swallows.”

A look of determination filled her face as she put me back in her mouth, and I couldn’t help it as I tangled my fingers in her hair. She grew more confident the more I praised her, and it was the hottest thing in the world.

Having a stubborn, defensive woman like Raven on her knees for me was an achievement in itself. She didn’t let anyone see her so vulnerable, but she trusted me.

Bragging about sex was something I did almost daily, but I wasn’t sharing this shit with anyone. This was between me and her, no one else.

I absently thrust down her throat a little and she gagged, but instead of pulling back, she just worked harder.

“Keep doing that,” I managed to say as she scrambled my fucking brain, her fingers moving to my thighs to balance herself more. “I’m close, just a heads up.” As expected, she changed pace a little on instinct. “Slow back down like before. Fuck, like that.”

She hummed that she’d heard me and I was a goner, not giving a shit about my moaning as I filled her mouth, and my legs almost gave out from under me when she finally pulled back.

She scrunched her nose slightly, deciding to swallow it, and almost made me fucking come again.

“Girls must seriously pretend to like that,” she said as she shuddered, obviously fighting a gag.

I helped her to her feet, giving her a grin. “C’mon, let’s go find you a drink. Next time, just spit it out. I won’t think less of you.”

“You like it when girls swallow though. I hear you guys talking about that shit all the time,” she huffed, shaking my shirt off and offering it to me.

“I had my dick in your mouth. Trust me, I was fucking happy,” I winked, pulling my shirt over my head and motioning to her things. “You ready to go?”

“Yeah. That drink sounds good,” she answered with a grimace, making me chuckle as she moved back to collect her paint and shoved them into the bag.

“You know what sounds better? Getting a drink then finding somewhere to go where I can eat your pussy as a thank you.”

“Can we get a rain check on that? My pussy really needs a break,” she said with a cringe as I dropped an arm around her shoulders and led her outside.

“Yeah. Cash it in whenever you want.”

She frowned when she noticed Reid’s car parked on the road alone, glancing at me. “Where’s your car?”

“Zav and Reid were heading out, so I got them to drop me off.”

“How’d you know I was here?”

“There’s not many places you’d go alone to paint,” I shrugged, not bothering to ask for the keys to drive. The thing about Raven was that she liked being in charge, and since I’d just had her submitting to me in a sense, she was going to want to feel like the boss for a while.

I didn’t want her freaking out on me and running off, so if I had to be a passenger prince for a while to make her happy, it didn’t faze me.

She climbed into the driver’s seat and started the engine, seeming lost in thought as we made our way to the gas station. I hesitated before reaching over to put a hand on her thigh, her eyes darting over to me. “What are you doing?”

“Just wanted to touch you.”

“Oh.”

“So, now that I’ve literally been inside you, can we talk about sex toys? I still think you need a vibrator,” I said casually, and thankfully, she laughed.

“Why do I need one when I have you?”

“I’m so glad you think my dick is the best thing in the world, but trust me, you don’t realize how much stronger those vibrators can make you come. I mean, I can use it on you if you like,” I smirked, liking the sound of that. “You’d thrash around and squirt everywhere.”

“Sounds gross.”

“Sounds fucking hot as hell, Rae. Do you think you’d be into restraints? I could tie you to the bed so you couldn’t move, then strap a toy to your clit. You’d come a million times and worship me afterwards.”

“What do you get out of that?”

“What do I have to do with anything? It’s not always a balance of give and take, sometimes it's one-sided, and that’s okay. Then again, watching you come almost makes me come.”

“I’m surprised your ego accepts toys in the bedroom,” she said dryly, and I chuckled.

“I still get the credit. Toys are my friend, not my enemy.”

She snorted, pulling into the gas station and parking. “Want anything?”

“My treat,” I insisted, already reaching for the door. “Since you swallowed my load, it’s the right thing to do.”

She flipped me off and I laughed, climbing out to wander inside, making sure to grab a Red Bull for both of us on the way up to the counter.

I paid with the small amount of cash I had on me, glancing out the window to see Raven looking at herself in the rearview mirror. She was so concerned about her appearance all of a sudden, and I hated it.

Had she always been like that and we’d just been too blind to see it?

I walked back to the car and handed her one of the drinks, looking her right in the eye as she cracked it and started drinking. “I really want to drag you into the back seat and fuck your brains out.”

She choked on the drink, giving me a dirty look. “What?”

“You’re stupidly hot,” I said as if she didn’t understand me.

“So are you,” she mumbled, taking a long mouthful of her drink before adding, “Do you think I let just anyone spill their demon seed into my mouth?”

Now it was my turn to choke on my drink, a satisfied smirk tugging at her lips as she gulped down more of hers before handing it over to me to hold so she could drive.

“Tell me a secret,” I asked randomly after a minute or two of driving in peace, making her frown.

“You know my secrets.”

“Nah, there’s some secrets girls save for their girlfriends. You don’t really have any of those who you trust, so I bet you’ve kept something from me.”

“Will you be mad if it’s something you don’t like?” she hummed, and I looked at her suspiciously.

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Just answer the question.”

“I can’t really be mad about much anyway,” I finally answered, jealousy hitting me the second she replied.

“I tried asking Zavier to be my first, but it didn’t go well and I changed my mind.”

“Why the fuck would you ask that asshole?” I snapped, calming when she raised an eyebrow. “Sorry, not mad. Just wondering.”

I wasn’t mad, I was furious.

Had he said something to make her think he wanted to fuck her? Had their innocent flirting over the years been more than Reid and I thought?

Had she let him kiss her or feel her up?

“I’ve always had a thing for Zav,” she said awkwardly, letting out a nervous laugh. “But he made it clear that he wasn’t attracted to me, so I chickened out. Sometimes, I wonder if I should’ve just let Ryder do it after all.”

Ryder would’ve been a fucking dead man and he knew it. I was pretty sure him coming on a little too strong to Raven had been what had halted her virginity loss mission temporarily last year.

Sober Ryder? Sure, I could’ve seen him taking his time and making it all about her. He seemed like a really sweet guy, but on a bender? Absolutely fucking not.

Not only would he have scared the shit out of her, he definitely would’ve hurt her by accident while only thinking about himself.

“You like Zav?” I asked slowly, Ryder forgotten about when I focused on the current problem.

“Of course I like him. It’s Zav,” she said quietly, getting that weird girly look in her eyes like a high school girl with her crush. “He’s hot, and he’s really sweet.”

“You asked him first? I wasn’t your first choice?” I asked in disbelief, making her wince.

“Sleeping with you had more risks.”

“Like what?”

“Like you rejecting me. Zavier, I could handle. It hurt a little, but it wasn’t awful. You, on the other hand, would’ve killed me. With embarrassment or hurt, I’m not sure, but finding out you weren’t attracted to me would’ve stung because you’re attracted to everything. Then I’d think about it all the time and it would’ve ruined our friendship.”

“You want to know one of my secrets? I’ve wanted to fuck you for as long as I can remember,” I said quietly, and I was surprised her neck didn’t snap at how fast she looked over at me. “Josh would’ve beaten me to death if I’d touched you. I was just a horny kid who’d just discovered what to do with my dick, so I probably would’ve wrecked everything with you back then.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” she asked as she turned her eyes back to the road, trying to sound casual, but her voice went tight.

“You deserve so much more than me, that’s why. Why haven’t you told Zavier you have a thing for him?” I threw back.

“I’m glad I didn’t because I would’ve just embarrassed myself.”

I didn’t want to tell her that was bullshit in case she decided Zavier was a better option, so I lit a cigarette and fiddled with the radio, ending the conversation.