Dirty Secrets (The Heights #1)

Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

RAVEN

A ll the guys slept in my bedroom that night, and I was thankful for it. I’d been exhausted and wouldn’t have woken up to an intruder, but they all would’ve.

Zavier had left early the next morning to meet Beckett at the Psychos’ shed, Reid was in the kitchen cooking breakfast, and Logan was still sleeping beside me in bed.

I studied him, reaching out to gently touch the side of his face. He needed to shave, the stubble rough under my fingertips.

I trailed my finger down to his lips, jerking back when he playfully nipped at them and opened his eyes. “If your hands are bored, feel free to touch my dick with them.”

“Reid’s in the kitchen,” I scoffed, not being able to fight my smile. “You’re so quiet when you’re asleep.”

“Come here and snuggle me,” he huffed, pulling me against his chest and nuzzling into my neck. I threw my leg over his waist and got closer, making him groan. “Why couldn’t Reid go with Lopez? I want to rail you through the mattress.”

“That’s probably a bad idea. Cruz knows about us, by the way.”

“Shit, really?”

“Yeah. He knows about Zavier too. He’s spotted us on his creepy cameras,” I sighed, peering up at him. “We need to tell Reid. Not yet, but soon. I’m not ready for the peace to blow up.”

“I feel like a piece of shit for hiding it, but I really don’t want to lose this,” he answered softly, tucking my hair behind my ear. “He won’t just let this happen.”

“We’ll figure it out. He can’t stop three grown adults from seeing each other,” I promised, leaning closer to give him a quick kiss. “Let’s get out of bed before he comes to get us.”

He grumbled but did as he was told, waiting for me to use the bathroom first, then I went back to my bedroom to get dressed for the day.

The last person I expected to see sitting in the kitchen was Reid’s fucking mom.

He gave me a look of apology, sliding a coffee towards me and motioning to a plate of food, his mother grinning at me. She barely had any teeth left, her cheeks boney and her eyes sunken in.

Isla Barron was a fucking mess, and she only stopped by when she wanted something.

“Raven! How you doing, darling? You ready to come and work with me yet?” she asked, coughing up a lung thanks to years of heavy smoking.

“Mom, Raven will never be working with you,” Reid said sharply, sitting between us as if that would stop the conversation from happening for the millionth time.

“Why not? You think you’re too good for the corner?” she spat, trying to glare at me past Reid. “We do what we have to out here, you know? I suppose you’re just happy letting my boy provide for you? You’d better be getting on your back for him as a thank you.”

“Some people are worth more than their pussy, Isla. Not you, but others,” I replied flatly, used to the same old argument. “Like you can talk. He was five when he was cooking for himself, and I remember having to help him drag your passed out body inside from your front yard when he was eight. You only show up when you need money, so I’ll save you the conversation. We don’t fucking have any.”

Reid was tense beside me, he hated us fighting.

As always though, he took her side.

“Enough, Rae. She only needed twenty bucks, it’s fine.”

“She’s never paid you a cent back,” I argued, pushing my uneaten breakfast back. “She’s only going to?—”

“Raven!” he snapped, clearing his throat before continuing more quietly. “Just leave it. Please.”

I stared at him, letting out a humorless chuckle. “You know what? You’re right. Do what you want.”

I got to my feet, making him sigh. “Eat your breakfast.”

“Fuck off,” I answered as I grabbed my shoes and a hoodie from the living room, hearing him curse as he followed.

“Raven, for fuck’s sake. Sit down and eat.”

“Get her out of my house then.” I crossed my arms and glared at him, and he glared right back.

“Your house? It’s my house too. I’m the one fucking paying for everything.”

“You work hard for that money, so stop giving it to her,” I hissed, his hand reaching out to grab the front of my hoodie to haul me closer.

“Don’t tell me what to fucking do with money that I earned. It’s not like you’re bringing anything in, you’re no different than her!” The regret on his face was instant, and he tried pulling me closer with a sigh. “I didn’t mean that. I—” I swung my fist out and punched him in the eye, his grip on me loosening but not releasing me. “Raven?—”

“Let me go. Don’t fucking blame me for not making money when every time I offer to get a job, you all convince me not to. It’s good to know what you really think of me though, so thanks for that,” I scoffed, shoving him back.

“I didn’t mean it.”

I rolled my eyes, taking another step back from him. “Yeah, you did.”

“What are you two fighting about now?” Logan asked as he walked in, his hair wet from a shower. “I’m assuming Isla, since the cunt is in the kitchen? Why’d you even let her in? She’s only going to take our money and leave again, bro.”

Reid wasn’t listening, he was watching me warily as he took a step towards me. “Rae?—”

“Go fuck yourself,” I bit out, walking past him. “I’ll be back later, Logan.”

Logan frowned, following me towards the front door. “What happened? Wait a second and I’ll put my shoes on and come with you.”

“Leave me alone.”

“You can’t just walk around alone. Not right now.”

I stalked into the kitchen, ignoring Isla who was rambling to herself right where we’d left her, and I pulled the handgun out of the drawer, holding it up for Logan to see.

“Better?”

“No,” he grunted, watching me as I tucked it down the back of my pants. “You know I’m team Raven. Come talk to me.”

“Logan,” I sighed, raking my fingers through my hair. “Please let me have some space. I have my phone and can call you if someone starts following me or anything. You guys forget that I can fight just as good as you.”

He finally nodded, stepping aside so I could pass him. “Be careful.”

“I always am,” I replied before walking around him, ignoring Reid and his mother as I walked out the front door and slammed it behind me.

Why couldn’t Reid let his mom go? It wasn’t like he had a single good memory of her. He’d been looking after her since he was in diapers, and she’d left him sitting in his own filth for days at a time.

It wasn’t like she even wanted to change, she just showed up demanding shit, then left until she needed money again.

I’d been relieved when she’d been arrested two years ago, but Reid put himself into debt to bail her out. It was a never-ending cycle of her hurting him and him saving her, and I hated to admit it, but the day she finally died would be a blessing, no matter how badly it broke him.

We all had fucked up parents, but Reid’s mother was a pain in the ass because she was the only one that showed up to continue fucking with Reid’s head. He had no idea who his father was, so at least he wasn’t a problem.

Logan’s mother called from prison occasionally, but he never took the calls.

She didn’t deserve shit either, not after the things she’d put him through when he was a kid. He didn’t talk about her much, but those scars were still fresh for him.

His father had been his mother’s pimp, and the prick had died thanks to gang activity when Logan had been five. All Logan remembered about him had been how mean the asshole was.

At least both my parents stayed gone when they left. The last time I’d seen Dad was when he’d shown up to make sure Josh was dead before bailing again, and I was fine with that.

Reid, Logan, and Zavier were my family, and they were all I cared about.

I pulled my cigarettes from my pocket and lit one, puffing on it as I walked.

Reid’s words had stung, he knew how much I wanted to help, but he wouldn’t let me.

Now he was going to throw it back in my face?

I ended up at the abandoned school, making my way through the empty corridors and up to the roof. We’d spent a lot of time up here over the years, the guys drinking while we just hung out.

There was a bunch of smashed glass on the ground below to prove it.

I sat on the ledge and let my legs dangle, lighting another cigarette as I stared out at the view. You could see a lot from up here, and it was always pretty at sunrise and sunset. It was three levels high, and not a single brick was clean of graffiti.

Most of it was probably from us.

There were bottle caps littered all over the roof, and I absently tossed them off one at a time and watched them hit the ground, frustration twisting inside me.

I was going to try to find a job, even if it was just picking up trash. Something was better than nothing, and I wasn’t going to let the guys talk me out of it again.

The scuff of shoes behind me let me know I had company, and I glanced over my shoulder to find Zavier.

“What are you doing?” he asked, stopping behind me with a frown.

“If Reid sent you?—”

“No one sent me. Why? Did something happen? I was going over footage to try and see if I could find the car again, then I noticed you walking this way. Figured you were coming here, so I came to find you.”

“Isla showed up again,” I mumbled, looking out at the view again. “Why does he keep letting her in?”

He dropped down beside me, reaching for a bottle cap to toss it over the edge. “That’s just his abandonment issues. He’s always got hope that she’ll turn her life around and stay.”

“We all have abandonment issues, but I’d rather both my parents die than show up on my doorstep again. Your dad’s dead and you’re grateful for it. Logan could happily never see his mom again too.”

“That’s the funny thing about trauma, we all cope differently,” he shrugged, looking over at me. “Every time Isla shows up, Reid turns into that little boy who sat at the window for days waiting for her to come home. He still loves her, and as much as I hate her for having that kind of hold over him, I’m also kind of glad that after everything he can still feel like that about her. He’s a good person. Don’t be mad at him for caring about her.”

“I’m mad at her for that. My anger towards him is because he threw it in my face that he makes the money so he can do what he wants with it, and that I’m just like her for relying on him,” I snorted, his eyes narrowing.

“He said that?”

“Yep. I’m getting a job, Zav. I’m sick of this shit. I already feel bad for not pitching in, but if he’s going to throw it in my face, then I’ll make my own money.”

He shuffled closer, draping an arm around my shoulders. “I can work more. I don’t like you having to work when the jobs out there for women?—”

“You guys are dramatic. I can wash cars like you guys or wait tables. It’s not like I’m going to run off and ask a pimp to take me in,” I scoffed, leaning into him more.

“If anyone outside of our house touches you, I’ll cut their fucking hands off,” he muttered, kissing the top of my head. “I’ll help you find something. Promise.”

“Something legal?” I asked dryly, and he winced.

“Yeah. I don’t want you getting dragged into anything bad.”

“You know I’m not stupid, right? Most jobs you’ve done are dangerous. You think you’re sneaky, but you’re not. Reid and Logan sneaking out to those street races meant I started watching you too. I’d hear you sneak out at two in the morning sometimes, and sure enough, your bed would be empty when I got up to check. At first, I thought you had a secret girlfriend or something, but then after I made Reid show me the mortgage repayments when I busted him for racing, I saw there was money going onto it after he stopped earning good money. Which meant one of you was still making dodgy money. Reid was in the hospital for ages, and Logan barely left him during that time. So, where did the money come from?” I asked, sitting back to hold his gaze. “Was it something to do with how you ended up helping Penn? Were you dealing in the skin trade?”

“You think I was selling kidnapped women?” he asked slowly, a flicker of hurt in his tone.

“I don’t know what to think, Zavier. You’d vanish all hours of the night with fucking Ander, then show up with money. When Cruz almost beat you half to death for thinking you were secretly dating Penn, I heard you saying about how you’d helped her and weren’t dating her. I also heard you bought her from her father with fake money. What the hell were you involved with?”

“We were going to lose the house, Raven. We all did dodgy shit to keep it over our heads,” he replied, his voice surprisingly calm. “Ander and I were paid by families of missing girls to fake buy them from the skin trade and get them home safely. The Donovans can only shut down so much, and for every predator they deal with, another three take their place. It’s impossible to stop. Between saving girls, running drugs, and selling information, I had a good thing going.”

“Why’d you stop then?” I wanted to be sick at the thought of him being involved with all of that. He could’ve been killed a million times over if he’d been caught. “And who the fuck were you selling drugs for? Ander, I suppose? You know how I feel about that.”

He blew out a breath, nodding. “Yeah, I found out about Reid and Logan being involved with his street racing when he roped Riley into moving drugs one night. She accidentally mentioned that they knew Ander. I was just there to guard the stash and hand it over, but I wasn’t going to let Riley go alone, so I climbed into her car to look out for her. I did shit like that often for a while, then we ended up dealing with the skin trade, and Ander just stopped asking me to help with the drugs. Either he stopped selling, or he found someone else to handle it. I stopped everything when Ander wanted to go underground for a while, and because I was worried about you and the guys getting hurt if something went wrong. The shit with Penn could’ve gotten messy if her father had found out the money was fake, and then every corrupt asshole in the country would’ve known Ander and I were frauds. It would’ve caused a lot of people to come after us.”

“You’ve really stopped? I need you to be honest with me,” I said quietly, my chest hurting as memories plagued my mind of my brother. “I can’t handle people kicking our door in and gunning anyone down a second time. If you fall back into bad shit, you’ll have to leave, Zav. I can’t go through that again.”

“I promise. I’m not involved with anything.”

I studied him for a second before leaning into him again. “Good. If you lie to me, we’re done.”

“I won’t,” he replied, reaching into the back of my pants to pull out the gun. “Why do you have this?”

“Can’t be too careful. Logan was freaking out about me going out alone, so I took it for backup just in case.”

“When did you practice shooting last?”

“Whenever you took me,” I chuckled. I took it back and turned the safety off, aiming it at the window of the old gym before pulling the trigger. I grinned as the bullet hit the window and sent glass everywhere. “You guys taught me well. I remember it all.”

“You’re giving me a boner, stop it,” he winked, and I rolled my eyes as I put it on the roof beside me.

“The weirdest shit turns you on, you know that?”

“Everything you do turns me on.”

“Is that right?” I teased, squealing as he grabbed me and hauled me onto his lap. I wrapped my legs around his back tightly, loosening them a little when he spoke.

“I won’t let you fall, babe.”

I glanced back, knowing the only thing stopping me from falling to my death was the fact that his arms were around me, and I relaxed a little more. I trusted Zavier.

“Promise?” I asked anyway, peering up at his face.

“Promise.”

Zavier

Reid was so fucking stupid. Every day was a battle between him and Raven lately, and he was pushing her further and further away. No wonder she didn’t want to tell him the truth about me and Logan, he’d only fight her on it and start a war in the kitchen.

I held Raven close as we sat in silence for a while, her face buried in my neck as her fingers drew patterns on my back. It was peaceful, and part of me wished that we didn’t have to leave.

I’d spent a lot of time up on this roof. Almost jumped off it once too. The only thing that stopped me was the fact that I’d spotted Raven alone down by the gym before we’d met, spray cans in hand as she got to work on her art.

I’d watched her for hours, forgetting all about my plan to jump.

Surprisingly, not a lot of kids seemed to hang around the school since they had the track in Ashburn Valley, and places like the Pit here in the Heights. I’d slept here without problems for months.

I regularly sought Raven out after that, taking it as far as following her home when she was alone at night. I thought she’d just been terrible at being aware of her surroundings when she never noticed me, or the assholes I beat up for stalking her in a creepy way, but then I heard about her brother’s murder and couldn’t blame her for being out of it.

I’d been too old for her and tried to stay hidden, just ensuring she got home safely when she went out alone, but then she ventured into the school for once, finding me beat to shit from my father.

Hiding from him had been getting harder and harder, the fucker had eyes everywhere, and I’d been lucky to escape him and his crew that time.

We sat on this roof and smoked for hours before she’d left, and after multiple encounters, she invited me back to her house to use the shower.

Reid and Logan hadn’t been impressed by my presence, and both had happily threatened me. I respected them for that, they just wanted her to be safe. She was fifteen, and I’d been almost eighteen. They had a right to question my intentions with her.

To prove that I was only looking out for her, I kind of ratted her out to them about how she was sneaking out to the school at night on her own, and that I’d been following her around to make sure she was safe.

Earned me points with the guys, and before long, they’d offered me a room.

Not that I could stay much, since I was constantly running from my father, but at least I’d had somewhere to shower and get a decent night’s sleep occasionally.

The day he’d died had been the best day ever because I could stop running, and I hadn’t left since.

“Zav?” Raven mumbled, her lips tickling my neck.

“Yeah?”

“Are we terrible people for keeping this from Reid? He’s going to be so hurt.”

“He’s not exactly giving us much of a choice. If we told him, he'd only beat me and Logan up and yell for days. If you want to tell him, I’m okay with getting beat up over you. Maybe we can cuff him to a chair before telling him so we have the upper hand?” I joked lightly, but I was almost considering it.

Reid was going to kill us, there was no escaping it.

“He might be okay with it,” she said weakly, making me snort.

“Baby, Logan’s fucked you too hard and rattled your brain if you think Reid won’t blow the fuck up at us. I think you could fuck him and he’d still shoot me and Logan for touching you,” I said dryly, making her laugh as she leaned back to look at me.

“You think I should fuck him?”

“I said you could, not that you should. If you do, make him take it easy. His leg’s still causing him grief when he overdoes it,” I deadpanned, giving her a quick kiss. “Then again, a good, hard fuck between you two might fix all of your problems. Maybe you’re both just angry from all the sexual tension.”

“I’m mad because he was a dick to me earlier.”

“Reid sucks with words. He’s good with his dick though,” I snickered, swatting her butt playfully. “C’mon, you want to head home?”

Her stomach growled and she cringed. “Yeah. I didn’t get to eat my breakfast this morning.”

“You want to go eat at Harley’s Bar? Harley owes me a favor,” I explained, making her frown.

“You’ll use your favor for food?”

“Why not? He doesn’t have much else I could cash it in for. If I need help from the Psychos, I’d just go to Beckett,” I grinned, helping her stand and making sure she was away from the edge before getting to my feet too.

I pulled my phone out, knowing Logan was probably worried about her.

Zavier: I’m with Rae. Taking her out for some food, then we’ll be home.

Logan: No rush. Isla’s still here. Is Rae okay? She called you?

Zavier: She’s just mad and a little hurt by what he said. I spotted her heading towards the old school on some cameras, so I came to find her.

Logan: Thanks, man. I’ll try to get Isla out of here.

Raven’s fingers threaded through mine, her nose wrinkled as she glanced at my phone.

“Reid?”

“Logan. I just wanted him to know you’re okay. Grab your gun.”

She did as she was told, tucking it into the back of her pants again before her hand returned to mine.

Once on the ground level again, we walked towards where I’d parked Logan’s car, and she hesitated before deciding on the passenger seat. I would’ve let her drive if she’d wanted, it didn’t bother me.

The drive to Ashburn Valley was uneventful, and I smiled as we stepped inside and Penn bounced towards us, almost knocking me over with a hug.

For a little thing, she had some strength.

“Zav! Cruz said you were at the compound today. What are you guys doing here? Lunch?” she beamed, turning to face Raven. “Hey. Sit wherever you want.”

Raven chuckled, used to Penn’s excitement, and Penn happily followed alongside us to our usual table.

Harley wandered out from the kitchen, wiping his hands on a dish towel. “Lopez.”

“Cashing in my favor. Raven’s hungry,” I replied, and he raised an eyebrow.

“Your favor is a free meal?”

“If you feed us and let us have a shake too, we’re even,” I confirmed, amusement flashing in his eyes.

“Alright. What do you want?”

I glanced at Raven and she grinned. “Burger with fries and a chocolate shake.”

“Same for me,” I chuckled, knowing she should eat something better for the first meal of the day, but knowing any food I fed her was better than nothing.

Harley walked off to make our food, telling Penn to get back to work, and Raven hooked her legs with mine under the table with a sigh.

“I’m glad Penn’s doing so well, but she makes me tired,” she joked, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“We’ll eat so we can go home and nap. Sound good?”

“So good.”